I feel like giving up at times, but I feel that I have come too far to give up

[lostnsadsoul]

I've just failed Grade 8 for the 3rd time in my life. The first time I failed was about 8 years ago, I attempted last year, missed by 4 marks and then retook it again this year. This time, I got an extremely low score in the 80s. The exams aren't inexpensive and I don't wish to throw away money for the fourth time, so I don't feel like pushing myself to do Grade 8 ABRSM practical again anytime soon.

I see that I may take years before sitting for another Grade 8 ABRSM examination, and at that time I may be a full-time working adult. I will take another year or so to complete my studies and during this period of time, I am thinking about working on my current problems with music.

From all the experiences, I know what my problems and weaknesses are but solutions haven't been easy.

1. I have a sight-reading and time-keeping problem (I do use a metronome, but still have difficulties keeping count without it). I have been told to practice but that doesn't really help much.

2. I have a problem with aural tests, even with external help. I find that external help is lacking at times.

3. Short finger width-span. I can only reach up to 9 notes.

4. Slow finger speed problem. I find it difficult to play the recommended speed for Grade 8 scales and even the pieces without stumbling.

5. Less than enough practice time, interest or motivation to do so. University and part-time work takes out a lot of my energy.

6. A tendency to play the wrong notes and problems with memorisation. I don't know if this is because I am stupid or that my mental acuity has dulled, but I have previously fallen into a depressed state of mind due to frustration with piano, family financial pressures and worries (especially after Dad was out of a job and had to venture into other fields), problems with socially mixing around with others, lack of friends and bad grades at school. There was a period of time when I went through counselling briefly. I failed grade 7 as well, and retook and passed it during my recovery process.

7. I have learnt piano for years, since I was young, but stopped halfway due to failures. As an adult learner, I do feel frustrated at times to be compared to others who have gotten their grade 8 qualifications during their teenage years.

8. I sometimes wonder if it can also be due to misplaced priorities...I actually want to learn composing, but I find myself trying to force myself to complete Grade 8 and be done with it since I'm not talented enough to pursue beyond that.

9. Mediocre touch. I have always known that I lacked putting in heart and emotions when I play my pieces. I don't really know if it is because of my depressed state of mind, because of failure that does it, or frustration when I realised that I can't learn pieces fast enough. By the time I do learn the pieces, it is either too late, or I feel bored by then.

10. I don't learn enough pieces outside of the exam syllabus. There are some that I would love to learn and play, but I usually find them too difficult to pick up and give up halfway.

11. Anxiety during the exams itself. I get so anxious that I mess up my pieces at unexpected timings.

I understand that ABRSM has a special needs segment but I don't think I would qualify for it. Neither do I want some sort of token to discount the grading.

Any suggestions or advice on what I can do? External help at the moment is out of the question as my financial resources are now extremely limited. I feel bad to have squandered away all those money for Grade 8 (external coaching and exam fees) and not having a certificate to show for it.

[danhuyle]

I've been playing piano for 17 years and I want to give up because I can never get that LMusA, which is basically THE highest level in AMEB, ABRSM has something else.

It's simple, find a piano teacher who teaches at University because these teachers are the best of the best.

After 17 years of playing classical music, the times we've had in the sun have come to an end. I realize that I cannot play classical piano and actually I consider myself as someone who CAN'T play the piano. I'm the definition of someone who can't play the piano.

[pianoplunker]

I've just failed Grade 8 for the 3rd time in my life. The first time I failed was about 8 years ago, I attempted last year, missed by 4 marks and then retook it again this year. This time, I got an extremely low score in the 80s. The exams aren't inexpensive and I don't wish to throw away money for the fourth time, so I don't feel like pushing myself to do Grade 8 ABRSM practical again anytime soon.

I see that I may take years before sitting for another Grade 8 ABRSM examination, and at that time I may be a full-time working adult. I will take another year or so to complete my studies and during this period of time, I am thinking about working on my current problems with music.

From all the experiences, I know what my problems and weaknesses are but solutions haven't been easy.

1. I have a sight-reading and time-keeping problem (I do use a metronome, but still have difficulties keeping count without it). I have been told to practice but that doesn't really help much.

2. I have a problem with aural tests, even with external help. I find that external help is lacking at times.

3. Short finger width-span. I can only reach up to 9 notes.

4. Slow finger speed problem. I find it difficult to play the recommended speed for Grade 8 scales and even the pieces without stumbling.

5. Less than enough practice time, interest or motivation to do so. University and part-time work takes out a lot of my energy.

6. A tendency to play the wrong notes and problems with memorisation. I don't know if this is because I am stupid or that my mental acuity has dulled, but I have previously fallen into a depressed state of mind due to frustration with piano, family financial pressures and worries (especially after Dad was out of a job and had to venture into other fields), problems with socially mixing around with others, lack of friends and bad grades at school. There was a period of time when I went through counselling briefly. I failed grade 7 as well, and retook and passed it during my recovery process.

7. I have learnt piano for years, since I was young, but stopped halfway due to failures. As an adult learner, I do feel frustrated at times to be compared to others who have gotten their grade 8 qualifications during their teenage years.

8. I sometimes wonder if it can also be due to misplaced priorities...I actually want to learn composing, but I find myself trying to force myself to complete Grade 8 and be done with it since I'm not talented enough to pursue beyond that.

9. Mediocre touch. I have always known that I lacked putting in heart and emotions when I play my pieces. I don't really know if it is because of my depressed state of mind, because of failure that does it, or frustration when I realised that I can't learn pieces fast enough. By the time I do learn the pieces, it is either too late, or I feel bored by then.

10. I don't learn enough pieces outside of the exam syllabus. There are some that I would love to learn and play, but I usually find them too difficult to pick up and give up halfway.

11. Anxiety during the exams itself. I get so anxious that I mess up my pieces at unexpected timings.

I understand that ABRSM has a special needs segment but I don't think I would qualify for it. Neither do I want some sort of token to discount the grading.

Any suggestions or advice on what I can do? External help at the moment is out of the question as my financial resources are now extremely limited. I feel bad to have squandered away all those money for Grade 8 (external coaching and exam fees) and not having a certificate to show for it.

Do you love music ?  Forget the exams, do you love music ?

[lostnsadsoul]

I love music but there are plenty of times I feel like I'm forced to sit for examinations and not enjoy to play the pieces I really want to learn, whether they fall inside or outside the classical scope.

I know that I will never play at the professional standard, but for all the efforts Grade 8 is my goal that I at least want to reach in my lifetime if possible.

I'm thinking that this is a good time for a break to explore, but I want to work on my weaknesses as well so that I will have a better chance at grade 8 the next time round. And find my love in the music again.

[worov]

Do you love music ?  Forget the exams, do you love music ?

I totally agree with you.

To the OP, if you don't intend to have a job related to music (and from I have read I think you don't), you don't need the exams. You can play the music you love. And you should.

I've never had a music exam in my life and I'm very happy. I play probably like an ass, but that's another story. But I don't care since nobody tells me about it (except my wife).

I feel like I'm forced to sit for examinations and not enjoy to play the pieces I really want to learn

No, you are never forced to. It's a free country !

And you should learn the pieces you love. Remember you are the one who take the decisions.

I never play pieces I don't like. For instance I don't like Chopin nocturnes (heard them too many times), so I don't play them. Why should you eat spinach if don't like it ? There is so much piano repertory that we do not have the time to waste on pieces we dislike.

I don't learn enough pieces outside of the exam syllabus. There are some that I would love to learn and play, but I usually find them too difficult to pick up and give up halfway./quote]

The repertoire is huge. If you are around grade 8, you can play most of it. There are a zillion of pieces which are dead easy and very beautiful. The ABRSM covers only a small portion of it. Feel free to ask for suggestions.

3. Short finger width-span. I can only reach up to 9 notes.

I understand this might be a problem. However several famous pianists dealt with it. Alicia de Larrocha had very small hands (she could barely play an octave). Her teacher gave her some stretching exercises. Later she performed most of the standard repertoire including Chopin, Liszt and Rachmaninoff.

Maria João Pires has small hands too. But she seems to be doping well.


However, I have read your post several and I must say that you have something very good. You have a goal. That's very good : it gives you motivation. I do have goals too. My goal are different from yours. My goal isn't to succed in ABRSM grade 8 examination. My goal would be to master the Well-Tempered Clavier of J.S. Bach (some of the most beautifulest music I have ever heard). My goal is music, not exams. Did Bach or Chopin give any attention to exams ? I don't think so.

[lostnsadsoul]

However, I have read your post several and I must say that you have something very good. You have a goal. That's very good : it gives you motivation. I do have goals too. My goal are different from yours. My goal isn't to succed in ABRSM grade 8 examination. My goal would be to master the Well-Tempered Clavier of J.S. Bach (some of the most beautifulest music I have ever heard). My goal is music, not exams. Did Bach or Chopin give any attention to exams ? I don't think so.

I guess what I can do is to make those subgoals fun and so that I can enjoy music. I'm thinking about practicing scales/arpeggios/finger exercises and also learn some songs. I'm not sure if this counts, but I will very much like to learn some popular music on the piano. Specifically games and animation series. I am just unsure if this will be a good idea.

You are right, I don't intend to have a job related to music, or at least I cannot see myself in the music field anytime in the future with how things are going. I have a need for stability and with my lack of musical skills I cannot find a music job that provides this. That's why I decided that I need to focus on my studies first while finding a self-directed interest in piano.

[faa2010]

I love music but there are plenty of times I feel like I'm forced to sit for examinations and not enjoy to play the pieces I really want to learn, whether they fall inside or outside the classical scope.

I know that I will never play at the professional standard, but for all the efforts Grade 8 is my goal that I at least want to reach in my lifetime if possible.

I'm thinking that this is a good time for a break to explore, but I want to work on my weaknesses as well so that I will have a better chance at grade 8 the next time round. And find my love in the music again.

You know, I am passing something similar to you these days.

I am going to present a Propaedeutic exam, and I am also in some workshops which are not related to it.

In the workshops I have become very frustrated because I felt that the teacher didn't give me enough attention to the piece I have prepared, just 20 min per student.

In the talk about the Propaedeutic, the teacher was discouraging everyone who wanted to enter to Piano because we were so many and she said the pianist career is very demanding in both ways: study and work.  She talked about it as if we were going to do the Major when it is only a 3-year-preparation courses for the Major.  She also remarked that the jury for the admission exam will qualify many points from memory of notes to posture, as if we have to play at that moment like professionals.

Those things have stressed me out, making me think that I am not qualified to become a pianist in profession.

But now, I blame myself for thinking that, because I don't have to allow anyone to discourage me on playing the piano and looking for improvement.

Of course, there are things I should keep working and improve if I want to be a better pianist.

But I know that something is wrong when I start to take my lessons seriously and become frustrated for not reaching the expectations (either mine or the others).

In those moments, I take a time to relax and distract my mind in other things so when I am back again to the piano I won't see everything dark.

Also, I am looking for things to inspire me on keeping going, for example, I do exercise, I go to the park or to cultural places, I have read Nodame Cantabile for a time, etc.

In other words, the most important thing is to enjoy playing piano, have fun and don't turn something you love into something you will hate, and getting breaks for relax and looking for people who knows but at the same time are eager to help instead of wanting to feel superior always help.

[worov]

I guess what I can do is to make those subgoals fun and so that I can enjoy music. I'm thinking about practicing scales/arpeggios/finger exercises and also learn some songs.

The most important is to enjoy what you're doing. If you think scales, arpeggios and fingers are fun, then go ahead and have fun with them ! I don't like praticing them, so I don't practice them, but that shouldn't stop you. Praticing scales and arpeggios can be very good to get familiar with the concept of key. It helps you to memorize the flats and sharps of each key. But I already know every key, so I don't need scales and arpeggios. Besides, you can get familiar with each key by playing pieces.

I'm not interested in technical exercises. They aren't musical, they are mechanical. That's not my conception of fun. I prefer music. And I don't they will improve my technique.

I'm not sure if this counts, but I will very much like to learn some popular music on the piano. Specifically games and animation series. I am just unsure if this will be a good idea.

On the contrary this is very good if you like these music. Playing a variety of styles improves your musicality. You know the saying ; "Diversity is the spice of life". If you eat always the same food, you get sick. I strongly advise playing non classical music. Playing some jazz or rock might teach improvisation. This is excellent.

[hfmadopter]

I strongly advise playing non classical music. Playing some jazz or rock might teach improvisation. This is excellent.

Or lead to some arranging/re-arranging, that's something I like to do with popular music or theme songs. I started mixing in these types of music with my classical a long time ago. It's fun and enjoyable and people love it. A level 8 player can do this well.

[j_menz]

I've never sat a piano exam in my life, have never seen the need or point. I play entirely for my own pleasure.

Why do you need grade 8?  Do you play at all for the joy of it or is it all about some external validation?

I realise that others have a use for doing grades, or find them personally useful in terms of structuring their learning. But that doesn't sound like you.

I also don't understand how you could just give up playing piano. Don't you like anything about it?

[pianoplunker]

I love music but there are plenty of times I feel like I'm forced to sit for examinations and not enjoy to play the pieces I really want to learn, whether they fall inside or outside the classical scope.

I know that I will never play at the professional standard, but for all the efforts Grade 8 is my goal that I at least want to reach in my lifetime if possible.

I'm thinking that this is a good time for a break to explore, but I want to work on my weaknesses as well so that I will have a better chance at grade 8 the next time round. And find my love in the music again.

Exploring is good. Find music. Let your grade 8 exam be one of being confident and relaxed rather than frustrated and tense. It is just fine if you take time with it rather than "must" do now. But what do I know, I have never tried a grade anything exam but I did try a Bruno Mars song today. Chopin, Mozart, they all have their place but they are not everything.

[bernadette60614]

I'm not the most expert respondent to your question, but I would ask: What is YOUR goal for your music? 

I want to play to the best of my ability, which given that I started so late, will never be at an expert level.  But, if I focused on the gap between a concert performer and myself, I would give up piano in a nanosecond.

If your goal is a lifetime of a relationship with music through the piano, then I would suggest you focus on that as your goal.

[lostnsadsoul]

I dream of being able to play the music that I have within my heart. And also pieces that I love.

Right now though, I can't play by ear or even by sheet music without having to struggle, and not fluently enough too.

I just want to play at a competent level somehow.

[the_fervid_pig]

I'm no expert, but from what you've said you should sod the grades and learn the pieces you like, at least for now while you're feeling a little despondent. Why struggle to learn pieces you may not have heard before, have no connection with and may never play again after the exam?

[hfmadopter]

I dream of being able to play the music that I have within my heart. And also pieces that I love.

Right now though, I can't play by ear or even by sheet music without having to struggle, and not fluently enough too.

I just want to play at a competent level somehow.

Seriously consider backing off to a lower grade of material for a while, even some pop work etc. You've been testing for grade 8, back off to level 6 and start enjoying putting out some music. Work on technique and mastering pieces that are popular and people love. I do it all the time. There is a ton of material out there at about level 5-7 that is just great sounding with good expression added to them. Simpler pieces don't have to be hack jobs, polish them up, do some work you enjoy.

[worov]

Right now though, I can't play by ear or even by sheet music without having to struggle, and not fluently enough too.

Right. You seem to have some problems with playing by ear and sight-reading. You are not alone in this situation. Many of us do. I can't sight-read properly (I have a very good ear though).

I can help you about playing by ear if you're interested. Have you ever done some ear training ?

I just want to play at a competent level somehow.

We all want to. I would like to be able to sightread Scarlatti's sonatas on the spot. But with most of these, it's impossible (though some of these sonatas are very easy).

Seriously consider backing off to a lower grade of material for a while, even some pop work etc. You've been testing for grade 8, back off to level 6 and start enjoying putting out some music. Work on technique and mastering pieces that are popular and people love. I do it all the time. There is a ton of material out there at about level 5-7 that is just great sounding with good expression added to them. Simpler pieces don't have to be hack jobs, polish them up, do some work you enjoy.

I agree. Most of the stuff I enjoy playing the most is intermediate repertoire. I don't care if it's popular or not (I'm a great fan of obscure repertoire). For instance, I started working recently on a Lullaby written by Shostakovich. Here's the link :

Very short and very easy. I mastered it in 20 minutes. But it's so beautiful in its simplicity, there is so much emotion in this piece. Sometimes less is more. It probably will never be in the ABRSM syllabuses, but I don't give a damn. ABRSM syllabuses aren't the absolute authority about taste in music.

Enjoying playing is very easy for me. I play only pieces I like and I choose easy pieces. If I work this way, I'm not forced to do anything. Progress might be slow, but who cares ? Some people are fast and some slow. I don't care if I'm slow, because I enjoy the journey, and that's the most important.

[hfmadopter]

I agree. Most of the stuff I enjoy playing the most is intermediate repertoire. I don't care if it's popular or not (I'm a great fan of obscure repertoire). For instance, I started working recently on a Lullaby written by Shostakovich.

That's a lovely piece ! And see that's exactly what I mean about simple but it's so full of expression, that's great.

[lostnsadsoul]

Right. You seem to have some problems with playing by ear and sight-reading. You are not alone in this situation. Many of us do. I can't sight-read properly (I have a very good ear though).

I can help you about playing by ear if you're interested. Have you ever done some ear training ?

Nope...haven't done that yet. So I can't really tell apart an E note from a B note, and the sharps/flats tend to confuse me too. So I'd love some tips about playing by ear.

It's a lovely piece you have over there. I'll keep them on my look-out list and thanks.

Seriously consider backing off to a lower grade of material for a while, even some pop work etc. You've been testing for grade 8, back off to level 6 and start enjoying putting out some music. Work on technique and mastering pieces that are popular and people love. I do it all the time. There is a ton of material out there at about level 5-7 that is just great sounding with good expression added to them. Simpler pieces don't have to be hack jobs, polish them up, do some work you enjoy.

This will be what I will be working on. It might take a long time but I don't mind.

[chopin2015]

I dream of being able to play the music that I have within my heart. And also pieces that I love.

Right now though, I can't play by ear or even by sheet music without having to struggle, and not fluently enough too.

I just want to play at a competent level somehow.

You gotta learn the rules before you can break them. Keep working hard. Are you allowed to play the same pieces? Do you take the test from the same people or is it different each time? The standards for level of playing raises as you get further and further in your piano career and see more of the piano community. Keep your standard of playing very high. You see all these things that you are not happy with in piano. I think it is something all pianists struggle with either at least a little or at some point in their life. You cannot pass grade 8 until you play your grade 8 pieces at tempo, with good tone and sufficiently from memory. From there you will find a new level of learning and playing, but I do think the grade 8 failure makes sense BUT it doesnt sound like you need to give up...you need to keep working. Depression can last from a day of practice to weeks, which affects your practice and state of mind. Keep that in mind and gently push through it. Most great results come over a LONG period if time of hard work and patience. Keep your mind on your musical priorities and work on pieces that either target and null your weak points(tone problem you mentioned, for example) or pieces that are fun and you can stay relaxed in, without having to stress about your weak points you are frustrated with right now. Hard advice to take, considering we all just want to learn music we like...
 Ive worked on chopin op 25 no 11 for 6 months now, and am still finding "surprises" in how it should be played and how the body still rejects it. I've worked on Ballade no 1 for 9 mths now, experimenting with fingerings and practicing passionate execution of tempo, for which you have to work on the technique first, so it is a doubled in length journey for the difficult rep.
You cant express the music that is in your heart nor the composer's intent when you lack precision and sophistication. It takes years.
Thats ok!!! There are works some people wait to learn until theyre in their 50's! Youve been working hard, but still have a few big leaps(but still, you can overcome this! Figure out what you can do well, and how you achieved this. Then figure out exactly what it is in your tone and tempo that is failing. It could be a confidence issue! You could track a diary. Every time you notice the problem, write down what happened, why you noticed it and brainstorm solutions)
 I could probably give you some info on memory slips. I have that issue when I perform and it interrupts flow. Your tone can prob be fixed easily too, do you have any videos?
Aural is something you may not be good at, but should still work on.
Sight reading, keep working on.

Dont give up. I know you may be dissapointed right now, but you will only break your own heart more if you accept failure and define your life in this way. I live in Texas, and there are 2 colleges near by. One I did not get in to and the other I hate. Im in the same boat as u because I want to play these pieces but dont have the time to fix the memory and tempo gaps! The tone I fix by recording myself, aknowledging that it sounds horrific, figuring out a comparison and how it should be played in the spots where It sounds terrible AS WELL AS what I liked and did well, then recording until I get my idea out. The trick may be to keep doing that without many long breaks inbetween recordings or you wont hear the improvement as much. Then take a long break when you get far enough, and assess again. Anywho. Let me know.
Im in University right now too, and I dont have a major. So....I am feeling like I am lost and nowhere to go as well, when piano is the only thing I love so much no matter what.
you gotta work through your alternatives, and quitting is not your only alternative right now, good news!

[worov]

Nope...haven't done that yet. So I can't really tell apart an E note from a B note, and the sharps/flats tend to confuse me too. So I'd love some tips about playing by ear.

First of all, to improve you ear, your instrument must be well-tuned. You can't improve your ear if your piano produces bad pitches. A digital piano is always in perfect tune, so practicing on a digital piano will give perfect pitch.


Ok. Your goal is to make the association in your mind between the written note and the sound. You also want to make an association between the key of the piano and the sound. And finally make an association between the the key of the piano and the written note.

This is not easy, but it's not impossible.

How can the mind make an association between the writen note on the score and the sound ?

The best ear training exercise you can do is to listen to the music and to read the score at the same time. Choose an easy piece ,with not too many notes (it will easy to read). A piece wth a simple key signature ill be easier for a start. Not a key with 7 sharps. No atonal or serial music.

Reading music and listening at the same time is excellent. In this processus, your brain makes immediately the association between wgat it reads and what it hears. If you make this exercise several times (one time a day is more than enough), you will improve.


There are also some websites which provides some exercises. This sort of stuff : https://www.good-ear.com/

It plays an intervall or chord or note, you must guess what the interval or chord or note is.

It's good, but I think the human mind understands much better a piece of music (which has a structure and a meaning) than some notes, intervals, chords which taken out of music have not meaning at all.

You can also listen to the piece and try to imagine what the score might be like ? What is the time signature ? What are the intervals that I hear ? Wrote down you think about it on some music sheet. Then look at the real score made by the composer. I guess there will many differences at first. But if you work carefully on this, you will improve.

Then try to do the reverse. Read a sheet music and try to guess in your mind what it sounds like. Tr y to hear the music. Try to sing if it helps you. Then listen to the CD. At first it wil be hard, you will improve too.

These exercises are very easy don't require many things. Only the CD of the pieces, the sheet music of the piece, and a blank sheet music. They can really imrprove our ear. Try them.


I will come back later to write about association between the sound and key on the piano.

[pianist1976]

After 17 years of playing classical music, the times we've had in the sun have come to an end. I realize that I cannot play classical piano and actually I consider myself as someone who CAN'T play the piano. I'm the definition of someone who can't play the piano.

I disagree! I think you have a great potential. You have an incredible memory and good musical ideas. But looking at your Youtube videos and your forum signature, I see that you only play the most difficult works. Maybe it's time to switch to another more affordable repertoire while forcing yourself to play it extremely well? You can go back anytime to the super difficult repertoire whenever you want to.

[momopi]

I got this from https://www.pianostreet.com/smf/index.php?topic=33961.msg394389#msg394389

Yes, whatever your aim you will fail miserably.

But…

Even though you will most certainly fail, you will get pretty close to success. Maddeningly so. Therefore pay close attention to the next sentence, for everything hinges on it.

Always establish the highest aim you can possibly think of. Always go after the most impossible dream. Surely you will fail to achieve it, but you will get pretty close to it. (Personally, I like perfection to be my aim)

Choose a mediocre aim, a low dream you may believe is in your power to achieve, and guess what? You will fail miserably. But what you will get is a far inferior result than what you would get if you had aimed high and failed high as well.

Very good message isn't it? Remember there are still so many people who are inspiring to reach your level but cannot. Like me. But we still trod on.

Maybe you're just stressed or burnt out. Like what the other poster said, forget the exams. Just play and learn what you love and come back to it when you are ready.

Good luck and relax!


meow!

[hfmadopter]

This will be what I will be working on. It might take a long time but I don't mind.

Ya, drop back a couple of grade levels and find some music that really gets to your soul, something you really like. Work on that till you feel fairly free playing it and then let your expression loose on it. During this process try to identify the actual chords you are working with, as you gain familiarity within those chords you gain further freedom of the bonds you experience now.

There comes a point of realization in all of us that the music itself is something separate from the piano. We try to master the piano when we need to let the music flow through us into the piano. One day this just strikes you differently than the day before and you are forever changed. You can't realize this when struggling with the notes on the piano on repertoire so difficult that all your emotion is pent up trying to accommodate the piano. You can't echo that love of the music that is in you into the keys if it's so difficult a work for you that you are struggling.

Let the music be the master, let your emotions flow through the keys. Then when you can master the piano at this level move on up. Just FWIW, Horowitz played many many level 6 and 7 pieces in concert or recital world wide. he didn't care what a judge or the press thought of him or his playing.  He could play anything he wanted and do it well, do it with magnificent clarity and so full of expression that he filled entire concert halls. But ya know what ? He didn't do it by low levels of practice , he did back off several times in his life always to rebound and move on.

Horowitz Level 6 Mozart K545 :     

[bronnestam]

When I joined this forum some months ago I was amazed and often rather puzzled by some of the postings. People wrote about Grade This and That and competition High and Low all the time.

I was like "Grades, huh? Competitions, huh?"

Yes, of course I know about competitions, I just didn't know they were so frequent and so ... important to so many. I really didn't know that piano playing was about competitions.

Later on I learned about those grades, it is something American, right? Well, I don't live there. I am on grade 0 right now, fine with me, I'm also learning the Pathétique.

No, music is not about that. It is about enjoying what you do, in the moment. If you lose the joy of learning, you will lose it all, eventually. All the issues you mention are symptoms of poor motivation. You try to replace it with outer rewards like reaching Grade Something. Which means someone else should judge, in an exam, whether you are good enough or not.

I have been there too, and even though there was no grade for me to reach, I had other, stupid goals, like pleasing my teacher and making other people impressed. I forgot to please myself, and that cost me more than three lost decades. Decades that got filled with other, more important stuff. (Read: stuff that pleased ME.) Your learning difficulties have to do with lack of concentration, and lack of concentration is not lack of moral, it is merely that your mind and your heart is occupied with something else that is more important to you.

Having goals, big goals, may sound very good. I agree - partly. You just have to be careful with your choice of those goals. If a goal is about getting someone else's approval, you've better watch out. The day I set out to play certain pieces only because it was such fun to play this wonderful music with my own hands, my piano playing improved dramatically. Why? Because I got fully concentrated and fully motivated to work with whatever had to be done. I prefer not having specific goals when I sit down to practice, because I will only get frustrated if I cannot reach that goal that day. Instead I use "silly" visualizing: I listen to pieces I would like to play, and I picture myself as the one who plays the music. I read the sheet music and I listen, and I also see my own hands doing the movements over the keys. And one day, after acrazyamountofpracticing, I realize that I'm actually doing this FOR REAL. That I, actually, can enjoy my own music at least for a little while.
I don't, however, imagine a big audience sitting like        while they listen. I only see myself, all alone with the piano. I silently hum the pieces to myself when I do other things, like walking my dog or preparing the dinner. I ponder over certain difficult parts and try to figure out new ways of practicing them. I live and breathe the music.

If you are not interested in doing such things, I'd say you are not interested enough. That is all right too. Go and do something else then. Just dive into the wonderful realm of doing something just for your own pleasure. And that there is a pleasure in learning, as well as in mastering.

 

[mahlermaniac]

I guess what I can do is to make those subgoals fun and so that I can enjoy music. I'm thinking about practicing scales/arpeggios/finger exercises and also learn some songs. I'm not sure if this counts, but I will very much like to learn some popular music on the piano. Specifically games and animation series. I am just unsure if this will be a good idea.

You are right, I don't intend to have a job related to music, or at least I cannot see myself in the music field anytime in the future with how things are going. I have a need for stability and with my lack of musical skills I cannot find a music job that provides this. That's why I decided that I need to focus on my studies first while finding a self-directed interest in piano.

Why isn't it a good idea? The beauty of the piano is the expansive reportoire available to the instrument!!! There is so much great music available in all genres. What's holding you back from delving into the pieces that interest you?

[whiteboyfunk]

I've never had a music exam in my life and I'm very happy. I play probably like an ass, but that's another story. But I don't care since nobody tells me about it (except my wife).

No, you are never forced to. It's a free country !

And you should learn the pieces you love. Remember you are the one who take the decisions.

I never play pieces I don't like. For instance I don't like Chopin nocturnes (heard them too many times), so I don't play them. Why should you eat spinach if don't like it ? There is so much piano repertory that we do not have the time to waste on pieces we dislike.

I can't disagree with this bit more - you really need to play some of this things you don't necessarily enjoy...unless you genuinely enjoy things like the well-tempered klavier, Czerny exercises, harmonic minor scales and so on. Some of the building blocks for well-developed playing and technique are bound to incorporate less interesting repertoire. Do you think you'll competently play the Heroic Polonaise by practicing merely the things you enjoy?