Girlfriend takes me away fom piano!

[brendan765]

She always wants to hang out with me which takes alot away from my practicing. She thinks I'm obsessed with Piano and she doesn't like my music to well. She only likes what I write and a little Bach or Beethoven. 

[iansinclair]

Assuming that your piano playing is a significant part of who you are and who you want to be, then perhaps you want to keep that up.  If your girlfriend really likes you as you are, she will figure out a way to accept that.

If not... but myself I would let her do the breaking up, if that's how it is to be.

[patrickd]

Yes.

[thalbergmad]

Play Sorabji and she will leave in seconds.

Thal

[timothy42b]

This is clearly a troll.

What piano nerd has a girlfriend?  (outside of Notre Dame of course)

(oh wait)

Now if you were a bass player, I'd have to reconsider a serious answer.

[invictious]

I always told myself that if I had to choose between romance and music, the answer would invariably be music.

I hope I will never have to make that choice.

[maul]

Take back the power - do whatever you want. She'll like you even more.

[lloyd_cdb]

"Just be yourself"^*

*Except if you're a weirdo. Then you should imitate someone normal.

[Bob]

Schedule your practicing in first.  If that's the priority. Or make an executive decision about how you'll spend your time and then schedule it.

If she's that concerned about it (now)... And she must not be a musician if she's complaining about that and doesn't like those styles of music...  Is it going to work out?  If it does, what's she going to say in the future?  I'd err on the side of music.  Schedule her in after that, if there's time.

[g_s_223]

I would play her a song, which might soften her a bit:
- Gershwin: The man I love
- Billy Joel: Piano man, And so it goes
- Brahms, Schubert, Strauss songs

If this doesn't work, then:

[ajspiano]

She always wants to hang out with me which takes alot away from my practicing. She thinks I'm obsessed with Piano and she doesn't like my music to well. She only likes what I write and a little Bach or Beethoven. 

I think for some one who doesn't "get it" it can be a little harsh having your gf/bf prioritise a mechanical noise maker over you.

You either need to prioritise piano, and make that the standard, or accept that you are going to prioritise her so long as you want the relationship to continue... 

And for the record, when you have a gf, you are obliged to spend some time with her.. you have a responsibility to be a part of her life - that's the point of having a labelled relationship. You don't get to just appear and disappear when you feel like it..  unless you want to either lose your gf or get cheated on, or both.

[maul]

I think for some one who doesn't "get it" it can be a little harsh having your gf/bf prioritise a mechanical noise maker over you.

You either need to prioritise piano, and make that the standard, or accept that you are going to prioritise her so long as you want the relationship to continue... 

And for the record, when you have a gf, you are obliged to spend some time with her.. you have a responsibility to be a part of her life - that's the point of having a labelled relationship. You don't get to just appear and disappear when you feel like it..  unless you want to either lose your gf or get cheated on, or both.

But when someone has a passion, the other partner should respect that, and not be selfish. I think we're talking about a couple dumb teens here anyway though so it's a mute point.

[timothy42b]

But when someone has a passion, the other partner should respect that, and not be selfish. I think we're talking about a couple dumb teens here anyway though so it's a mute point.

so it's a mute moot point.

Fixed that for you. 

[brendan765]

Take back the power - do whatever you want. She'll like you even more.

Ohh I did, she tried to tell me I'm in trouble for a bad school grade and couldn't do anything "sexual" with her...but she couldn't resist. I can control her mind sometimes haha. She still doesn't like my obsessive piano playing, but she better get over it.

[unholeee]

tell her it's important to have your own hobbies. unless she's in highschool. which it sounds like it from the above comment. gl

[oxy60]

Your girlfriend (and for the rest of us, wives and partners) should have a life of her/their own. Any person who is clinging to you like your backpack has dependency problems.

For the long haul, please keep in mind that if you become the total focus of another person (parent, partner, spouse) the relationship won't be healthy. Any relationship should become a new entity with equal participation and contribution of the partners.

[lloyd_cdb]

Your girlfriend (and for the rest of us, wives and partners) should have a life of her/their own. Any person who is clinging to you like your backpack has dependency problems.

This is exactly it. For me, the girls I find attractive are ones that have their own passions and interests, who can go on a rant about it without caring for my approval.

It is extremely frustrating in relationships when either person thinks they NEED to share every hobby. People barely have enough time for their own hobbies, let alone double the work effort. In the past, I went to a classical performance while my GF at the time went to a jazz performance. This would have taken two nights instead of one if we weren't capable of doing separate things every once in a while. I went to an art gallery with her, she came out of the city to spend a day with me while I brewed beer. You CAN share hobbies, you just don't NEED to share them.

Beyond all that, my biggest pet peeve is when I meet a girl who says "I LOVE reading" because they happened to read a book a week ago... for the first time in 5 years. Or "I love art" because they just happened to go to the Met last weekend. These people are no-no's.

[outin]

Ohh I did, she tried to tell me I'm in trouble for a bad school grade and couldn't do anything "sexual" with her...but she couldn't resist. I can control her mind sometimes haha. She still doesn't like my obsessive piano playing, but she better get over it.

Or she'll get over you when the sex appeal fades...problem solved

[faa2010]

Assuming that your piano playing is a significant part of who you are and who you want to be, then perhaps you want to keep that up.  If your girlfriend really likes you as you are, she will figure out a way to accept that.

If not... but myself I would let her do the breaking up, if that's how it is to be.

I agree with ian, if playing piano is a part of yourself, she has to accept it, is part of the package.

Just remember, both of you, that there should be a balance. You don't have to play and practise piano the whole 24 hours, but also you don't have to be with your girlfriend the 24 hours.

[maul]

Fixed that for you. 

Damn, I really did that? Don't do drugs, kids.

[maul]

I'm ashamed of my ironic mistake post now, thanks Timothy. In its current state, my brain will never know relief. Ever. I must burn it out with various substances. The neurons must be destroyed so that all recall is null. Yes, I've decided. YES. brb

[timothy42b]

I'm ashamed of my ironic mistake post now, thanks Timothy. In its current state, my brain will never know relief. Ever. I must burn it out with various substances. The neurons must be destroyed so that all recall is null. Yes, I've decided. YES. brb

A simple thanks is sufficient; congratulating me on my brilliance is optional.

I ask but one thing:  don't tell m1469. 

[Bob]

Have a nice movie night.  Before the movie casually talk about time management, scheduling things, doing two things at once, etc.  Then pop in a DVD of The Red Violin.  

[ajspiano]

But when someone has a passion, the other partner should respect that, and not be selfish. I think we're talking about a couple dumb teens here anyway though so it's a mute point.

Of course, I stated my point because Brendan has displayed a fair history of arrogance and self involvement which may possibly roll over to how he treats a partner..

[pianoplunker]

I think for some one who doesn't "get it" it can be a little harsh having your gf/bf prioritise a mechanical noise maker over you.

You either need to prioritise piano, and make that the standard, or accept that you are going to prioritise her so long as you want the relationship to continue... 

And for the record, when you have a gf, you are obliged to spend some time with her.. you have a responsibility to be a part of her life - that's the point of having a labelled relationship. You don't get to just appear and disappear when you feel like it..  unless you want to either lose your gf or get cheated on, or both.

I hear a Blues song coming on - How many GFs and BFs have caused blues songs to be written ?   I think we have material here

[bencollisonmusic]

This should be an obvious answer! When looking for a partner... they should at least respect the things you enjoy and love doing. I have friends (who are girls) who literally run to my piano when they come over and ask me to play for them. I would take it as an insult if someone I liked was telling me to stop playing the piano... she doesn't have the right to stop you from doing things you love... if you love to play the piano, then you are very lucky, don't let anyone take that away from you.

Hope that helps

~BCM

[brendan765]

Yeah I did bad...I fell in love and she absolutely hates piano. It's redicoulous and makes me pretty mad. She thinks the pianos an artless object and that I love it more than her. She also bilieves that practicing piano is an obsession and she doesn't understand that it's an investment of time so I can make a living as a pianist when I'm older. She's absolutely ignorant, won't agree with my piano playing. And she practically crus everytime I sit at the piano in front of her. This is redicoulous!
I took her virginity and all that, I will be unsuccessful if she doesn't soon accept the piano. I need to make a descision that I'm not looking forward to soon...ending the relationship for the piano...she's taking the music out of me and I any the music and her and a descision is hard...anyone have good ideas? To keep both...btw there is no persuading...she hates it in everyway
 Here soon I'm going to force myself to get back to piano and if the girl goes then that's her problem.
She

[bencollisonmusic]

This is indeed as hard situation and something I have been through before also. But here is some things I think you should do.

1. Talk to her and find out why she hates you playing the piano (I have a feeling that she tried playing the piano before and really wanted to be good but never got it so she is taking it out on you but I could be wrong about that).

2. Find out when she is home and when she is out of the house, you practice when she is not around (not the best option to be sneaking around your love in the first place)

3. Many people think that pianists are just very soft and that they can just push them around. That is kind of true but we need to prove them wrong. You can stand up and put it right out there... "honey, I love you but I also love the piano. If you love me then you need to also respect the things I love too. You don't have to love it also, you just have to respect that I love it." Something along those lines and see how she reacts to it.

It's never healthy trying to have a relationship with someone who is constantly trying to take away those things you love to do. If she is not giving in to your demands of playing piano then you will have to make a decision. "Can I live with this woman and not play piano or does playing piano mean much more to me then pleasing a woman". I promise you will find someone better who will just love to hear you play and will constantly ask you to play for her.

Hope this helps

[brendan765]

Yes I already told her that I love piano and wish she would respect it, but she won't.

[bencollisonmusic]

Well then it seems like your going to have to cut the line on her. Is she living with you? There are two ways you can handle this.

1. Gradually distance yourself from her both physically and emotionally. Keep her away as much as possible. The relationship will eventually die away (you can start considering other women too if you like).

2. Just cut off the relationship completely. If she gets mad you explain your feelings of piano to her and then leave her to choose for you. Let her choose what is more important, you or stopping you from playing piano... you will then have an easier decision then. But I would not get back together with her if I were you... if she is trying to stop playing piano, then she will keep doing it again at some point down the road.

I don't know what kind of person you are and how well you handle break-ups but I think it will be a better thing for you rather then staying with her... perhaps break up for like 3-6 months (don't tell her this) and see how things go after that time period... you will be amazed in what you discover about your feelings of the relationship as a whole