Last post wins!!!!!

[j_tour]

Exactly!

That image makes me confused in the brain.

But now I understand.

Not a pommie, but forever your best,

j_to

[perfect_pitch]

HA... take that, you flat-earther weirdos.

I knew the earth was spherical.

[j_tour]

HA... take that, you flat-earther weirdos.

I knew the earth was spherical.

Is it? 

There have been ancient aliens showing me that the proper exit from a sphere is s straight line which can form the rock of a square lime.

Sometimes I wonder.  Which direction, indeed! 

I applaud the resolve and pluck of all involved in this grass-roots effort to turn this jungle into a holy space, filled with decorum and at turns the heavenly songs of angels and the shrieks of the battle-tested cherubim.



I'm with you always, dear fellows,

j_ponce_iii_esq

[perfect_pitch]

And whenever a student makes a mistake... is that when Jesus was off somewhere else making a cuppa???

[j_tour]

And whenever a student makes a mistake... is that when Jesus was off somewhere else making a cuppa???

I'm glad you asked.

This is what happens when students make mistakes:



With you always, best,

twinkle toes mcpommie

[perfect_pitch]

Okay - this is just getting sad now. Do they have a picture of Jesus in front of every single possible life situation???

sh*t... they do.



BLOODY HELL!!!



Christ, this is getting sadder and sadder by the minute.



Oh this is a little creepy...



Nope... I stand corrected. THIS:










...is creepy. Oh and the best bit, apparently Jesus told him to draw them.

Larry’s extraordinary talent came to him at the age of 50, when he woke from a dream with a clear message telling him that he must dedicate years of his life to creating these drawings.

[j_tour]

I like the student one reading the book.  Those bluejeans fit her cotch very well.  And yet she's a lady.

My favorite is the



Good old hit it from behind, and flick the button to hot.

What's scary is the Jeebus person looks exactly like a musician friend of mine — AFAIK he's not religious (in fact, I think I'm the only person in my peer cohort who attends mass, although I'm not exactly a true believer). 

Get strong, ye brethren! 



It is the best! 

[perfect_pitch]

Let's get some words of wisdom from a decorated Atheist:



Ahhh... good ol' Ricky Gervais; tells it like it is.

[j_tour]

Best,

tool_using_pommie_git

[perfect_pitch]

This made my day:

[lostinidlewonder]

When one belief requires to ridicule another belief to exist. Take that away and see its value.

[outin]

Creepy indeed... if some weirdly dressed bearded guy started stalking me like that I'd hire an exorcist asap!

[j_tour]

I agree, Ricky Gervais's nasty little beard makes his mouth look like a vag with some kind of infection.



With you always,

j_t

[perfect_pitch]

I agree, Ricky Gervais's nasty little beard makes his mouth look like a vag with some kind of infection.

Maybe, but he's one of the most honest people on the planet. Not often you see that in celebrities.

[outin]

I agree, Ricky Gervais's nasty little beard makes his mouth look like a vag with some kind of infection.

Seen a lot of those, have you?

[j_tour]

Seen a lot of those, have you?

OK, that was a good one.

Actually, no, I've never had the good fortune.  One did give me a sore on my johnson that lasted quite a while, but it wasn't a noticeably diseased specimen, hers. 

I'm proud to say I'm symptom-free now!

Llllllladies....that's right! 

Asymptomatic since 1994,

j_t

[outin]

OK, that was a good one.

Actually, no, I've never had the good fortune.  One did give me a sore on my johnson that lasted quite a while, but it wasn't a noticeably diseased specimen, hers. 

I'm proud to say I'm symptom-free now!

Llllllladies....that's right! 

Asymptomatic since 1994,

j_t

Unless...it's gone to your head! That would explain a lot...

[j_tour]

Unless...it's gone to your head! That would explain a lot...

Syphilis in the brain?  That would be awesome!  Like, famous people had that and stuff.  Like maybe even some composers and stuff, probably.

I'm with you always,

j_t

[ahinton]

One did give me a sore on my johnson that lasted quite a while

Over here in UK, we have a Johnson who is himself a sore, although I hope that he won't last a while...

Best,

Alistair

[j_tour]

Over here in UK, we have a Johnson who is himself a sore, although I hope that he won't last a while...

Best,

Alistair

See?  That's pretty clever.  I chuckled a small amount, anyway.

And he signs his posts, like a real gentleman.

With you always,

jt

[perfect_pitch]

And he signs his posts, like a real gentleman.

Are you saying people who don't sign their posts aren't gentlemen???

[j_tour]

Are you saying people who don't sign their posts aren't gentlemen???

With you always,

j_t

[outin]

You however must be a good person (even if nuts). We should all recycle more to save the environment!

[perfect_pitch]

We should all recycle more to save the environment!

I know a great way to help reduce paper wastage...

Tell all those wankers who deliver junk mail catalogues to your mailbox to f@#$ off!!!



No more junk mail, far less paper being thrown out and ending up in landfill.

[j_tour]

I know a great way to help reduce paper wastage...

I make two paper wastages every morning in the terlet better than that crap in my mailbox.

FFS, one out of about fifty pieces of mail is something I actually want or (inclusive, wedge) is actually addressed to me.

Even my bank sends me trash, when I specifically told them to do it all electronically.

And the mail carrier is a effing tool. 

I'm with you always,

j_tour

[outin]

I know a great way to help reduce paper wastage...

Tell all those wankers who deliver junk mail catalogues to your mailbox to f@#$ off!!!



No more junk mail, far less paper being thrown out and ending up in landfill.

Yep!


I get almost no paper mail anymore...not even bills...

[perfect_pitch]

I got a couple of pamphlets from Jehovahs witnesses once in my mailbox, despite the No Junk mail being clearly posted on it.

Got the address of their centre off the mail, stuck the mail through the shredder about 10x and then proceeded to head to their headquarters, greeted the lovely nutjobs there and dropped it all over their desk; told them they could have their junk mail back.

Walked out of there feeling very good.

[j_tour]

I got a couple of pamphlets from Jehovahs witnesses once in my mailbox, despite the No Junk mail being clearly posted on it.

Got the address of their centre off the mail, stuck the mail through the shredder about 10x and then proceeded to head to their headquarters, greeted the lovely nutjobs there and dropped it all over their desk; told them they could have their junk mail back.

Walked out of there feeling very good.

That's pretty impressive.  Plus they're all like hippies and Jesus freaks, so they have to turn the other cheek.

I opened the front door some years ago to a couple of young, attractive women doing some religious thing...not sure which Xian sect they were all about.  Usually saying "I'm Catholic" causes the bible-thumpers to recoil in horror, and ends the conversation, but they were pretty cool.  I showed them my Latin Vulgate edition of the New Testament and we compared some passages (that's fun for me to see how things are translated).  It was kind of an amusing way to spend a few minutes.

And never forget:

I'm with you, always,

j_t

P.S.  May you all have a blessèd day observing the feast of the presentation of the lord.  God bless you!

[perfect_pitch]

I showed them my Latin Vulgate edition of the New Testament and we compared some passages (that's fun for me to see how things are translated). 

I told them I read daily from the Necronomicon... never saw them again...

Don't know what happened???

[outin]

I told them I read daily from the Necronomicon... never saw them again...

Don't know what happened???

There's a reason why I never react to the doorbell...it's either someone selling (religious folks included) or begging and I do not buy or give, so better not waste anyone's time.

[j_tour]

I told them I read daily from the Necronomicon... never saw them again...

Don't know what happened???

Showing them a peek inside a trashbag full of dead mice, and pointing to a chicken in a cage might do it.

Pulling the Psalter (Liber psalmorum) from the pocket and reading some of the tasty bits would just be a fun addition.  Yes, I often carry that little book in my pocket if I have to kill some time, but the flat black cover with only the title written in white script probably does its job at scaring away some of the rebel Anglo-Teutonic sectarians.

Or, pulling a Mossberg 500 12 gauge shotgun down off its rack, with no cartridge in the chamber, and racking the slide before opening the door.  (Yes, that's likely what part of my tax refund is going to this year).

Or, pressing the button on the mixer to solo the SM57 on a desktop mic stand to amplify crude messages of doom cribbed from the movie The Exorcist would do. 

With you always,

jt

ETA No, I'm not always Vulgate-toting:  some of the Universal-Bibliothek Reclam formats are good, like a good one of Ingeborg Bachmann, or even Goethe's Faust II, and some tiny editions of tales from Conrad.  American publishers really don't have anything comparable in portable format.  The French have many excellent publishing houses, but even then, they haven't mastered the ultra-miniature format. 

[perfect_pitch]

Showing them a peek inside a trashbag full of dead mice, and pointing to a chicken in a cage might do it.

Yeah, but I don't have a trashbag full of dead mice.

The Doom messages mixed with music from the exorcist though - that's beautiful.

[outin]

Yeah, but I don't have a trashbag full of dead mice.

The Doom messages mixed with music from the exorcist though - that's beautiful.

But that might be a copyright violation...

Maybe I should ask them in, put on one of my weird faces, roll my eyes, sit on the piano and play them Alkan's La chanson de la folle au bord de la mer...or Scriabin 6 would be even better if I could pay it...some trashbags and an axe by the piano would be a nice addition

[j_tour]

Yeah, but I don't have a trashbag full of dead mice.

Yeah, but you could acquire one.  A trip to a pet shop, ask for about a hundred frozen mice.  Say it's for your pet snake, or your brother-in-law, or whatever.

ETA

Almost forgot to be a gentleman!

With you always,

jt

[perfect_pitch]

A trip to a pet shop, ask for about a hundred frozen mice.  Say it's for your pet snake

Meh - I'd rather use that money for prostitutes...

[j_tour]

Meh - I'd rather use that money for prostitutes...

You're right:  cocaine and dead mice it is, then.

With you always,

j_t

[perfect_pitch]

I feel like this is one of the Pokemon games...

"A wild Zebrataur appears..."

[Bob]

[perfect_pitch]

I gotta get me one of them... do you just dial 1-800-HONEY   ?!?

 

[j_tour]

I gotta get me one of them... do you just dial 1-800-HONEY   ?!?

 

You don't have to open the dialer app on your phone, or whatever you people use.

Just apply honey liberally.

[perfect_pitch]

You don't have to open the dialer app on your phone, or whatever you people use.

Just apply honey liberally.

Tried that... got a visit from him:





Now, I need a bloody lawyer...   

[j_tour]

Tried that... got a visit from him:





Now, I need a bloody lawyer...   

Woah, man, that like blew my mind.  Giant sexual harrassment pandas are capable of unspeakable acts of horror and savagery.  They're the Col. Kurtzes of the animal kingdom. 

They've been known to ingest large amounts of dextromethorphan and roam various theme parks in search of prey.

They put the "pal" in palpate.

And, like me, they are With you always,

j_t

[perfect_pitch]

And, like me, they are With you always

That makes you sound like you're in some bush outside my residence...

...ready to stalk me when I leave the house.

[j_tour]

That makes you sound like you're in some bush outside my residence...

...ready to stalk me when I leave the house.

I'm with you always, in the bush, watching the pies,

j_t

[perfect_pitch]

Is this how you spend your day J_Tour - watching people with their legs stretched out, cleaning their balls???

The insight into your mind is getting creepy...

[j_tour]

Is this how you spend your day J_Tour - watching people with their legs stretched out, cleaning their balls???

The insight into your mind is getting creepy...

Not just watch.  It's also how I roll.

Nobody messes with the Jesus.

Best regards,

j_t

[perfect_pitch]

Well... according to one pastor - Jesus hates us.

https://www.perthnow.com.au/news/offbeat/australian-bushfires-a-sign-that-asteroid-will-destroy-earth-in-10-years-ng-b881453723z

Why the hell they used the ramblings of a pastor to make a news article about it though is beyond me.

(For those who aren't Australia, the above link isn't a real news page)

[lostinidlewonder]

Pastor Thomas Thorn needs a kick in the head I think. He obviously is ignoring that the end will come like a thief in the night and that NO ONE knows the time, his literal reading of the bible is bothersome too.

[j_tour]

I like that guy.  Thomas Thom:  It's like twice the Aquinas, so he must be twice as good.

Reminds of Charles Manson in his early years, before he sold out and went commercial.

He's likely a personal advisor to Scott Morrison in things like bible studying and stuff, probably, right?

I'm with you always, forever, and ever,

j_t

[lostinidlewonder]

He's likely a personal advisor to Scott Morrison in things like bible studying and stuff, probably, right?

In Australia politicians all write a few ideas out on a scrap of paper and it all gets put into a hat. Some cheat and tear out pages with writing on it already, sometimes it makes sense.