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Last post wins!!!!! (Read 520988 times)

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10050 on: January 30, 2020, 03:53:26 PM »
Exactly!



That image makes me confused in the brain.

But now I understand.

Not a pommie, but forever your best,

j_to


Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10051 on: January 31, 2020, 12:14:04 AM »


HA... take that, you flat-earther weirdos.

I knew the earth was spherical.

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10052 on: January 31, 2020, 04:48:19 AM »
HA... take that, you flat-earther weirdos.

I knew the earth was spherical.

Is it? 

There have been ancient aliens showing me that the proper exit from a sphere is s straight line which can form the rock of a square lime.

Sometimes I wonder.  Which direction, indeed! 

I applaud the resolve and pluck of all involved in this grass-roots effort to turn this jungle into a holy space, filled with decorum and at turns the heavenly songs of angels and the shrieks of the battle-tested cherubim.



I'm with you always, dear fellows,

j_ponce_iii_esq

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10053 on: January 31, 2020, 05:28:24 AM »

And whenever a student makes a mistake... is that when Jesus was off somewhere else making a cuppa???

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10054 on: January 31, 2020, 08:00:41 AM »
And whenever a student makes a mistake... is that when Jesus was off somewhere else making a cuppa???

I'm glad you asked.

This is what happens when students make mistakes:



With you always, best,

twinkle toes mcpommie


Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10055 on: January 31, 2020, 08:30:35 AM »
Okay - this is just getting sad now. Do they have a picture of Jesus in front of every single possible life situation???

sh*t... they do.



BLOODY HELL!!!



Christ, this is getting sadder and sadder by the minute.



Oh this is a little creepy...



Nope... I stand corrected. THIS:










...is creepy. Oh and the best bit, apparently Jesus told him to draw them.

Quote
Larry’s extraordinary talent came to him at the age of 50, when he woke from a dream with a clear message telling him that he must dedicate years of his life to creating these drawings.

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10056 on: January 31, 2020, 10:21:45 AM »
I like the student one reading the book.  Those bluejeans fit her cotch very well.  And yet she's a lady.

My favorite is the



Good old hit it from behind, and flick the button to hot.

What's scary is the Jeebus person looks exactly like a musician friend of mine — AFAIK he's not religious (in fact, I think I'm the only person in my peer cohort who attends mass, although I'm not exactly a true believer). 

Get strong, ye brethren! 



It is the best! 

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10057 on: January 31, 2020, 10:38:05 AM »
Let's get some words of wisdom from a decorated Atheist:



Ahhh... good ol' Ricky Gervais; tells it like it is.

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10058 on: January 31, 2020, 11:26:24 AM »


Best,

tool_using_pommie_git

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10059 on: January 31, 2020, 11:41:19 AM »
This made my day:


Offline lostinidlewonder

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10060 on: January 31, 2020, 11:58:26 AM »
When one belief requires to ridicule another belief to exist. Take that away and see its value.
"The biggest risk in life is to take no risk at all."
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Offline outin

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10061 on: January 31, 2020, 03:08:32 PM »
Creepy indeed... if some weirdly dressed bearded guy started stalking me like that I'd hire an exorcist asap!

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10062 on: January 31, 2020, 08:31:50 PM »
I agree, Ricky Gervais's nasty little beard makes his mouth look like a vag with some kind of infection.



With you always,

j_t

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10063 on: January 31, 2020, 11:17:47 PM »
I agree, Ricky Gervais's nasty little beard makes his mouth look like a vag with some kind of infection.

Maybe, but he's one of the most honest people on the planet. Not often you see that in celebrities.

Offline outin

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10064 on: January 31, 2020, 11:37:54 PM »
I agree, Ricky Gervais's nasty little beard makes his mouth look like a vag with some kind of infection.

Seen a lot of those, have you?

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10065 on: February 01, 2020, 04:07:16 AM »
Seen a lot of those, have you?

OK, that was a good one.

Actually, no, I've never had the good fortune.  One did give me a sore on my johnson that lasted quite a while, but it wasn't a noticeably diseased specimen, hers. 

I'm proud to say I'm symptom-free now!

Llllllladies....that's right! 

Asymptomatic since 1994,

j_t

Offline outin

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10066 on: February 01, 2020, 07:05:57 AM »
OK, that was a good one.

Actually, no, I've never had the good fortune.  One did give me a sore on my johnson that lasted quite a while, but it wasn't a noticeably diseased specimen, hers. 

I'm proud to say I'm symptom-free now!

Llllllladies....that's right! 

Asymptomatic since 1994,

j_t

Unless...it's gone to your head! That would explain a lot...

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10067 on: February 01, 2020, 04:02:23 PM »
Unless...it's gone to your head! That would explain a lot...

Syphilis in the brain?  That would be awesome!  Like, famous people had that and stuff.  Like maybe even some composers and stuff, probably.

I'm with you always,

j_t

Online ahinton

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10068 on: February 01, 2020, 05:21:15 PM »
One did give me a sore on my johnson that lasted quite a while
Over here in UK, we have a Johnson who is himself a sore, although I hope that he won't last a while...

Best,

Alistair
Alistair Hinton
Curator / Director
The Sorabji Archive

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10069 on: February 01, 2020, 06:45:40 PM »
Over here in UK, we have a Johnson who is himself a sore, although I hope that he won't last a while...

Best,

Alistair

See?  That's pretty clever.  I chuckled a small amount, anyway.

And he signs his posts, like a real gentleman.

With you always,

jt

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10070 on: February 02, 2020, 02:24:31 AM »
And he signs his posts, like a real gentleman.

Are you saying people who don't sign their posts aren't gentlemen???


Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10071 on: February 02, 2020, 03:47:59 AM »
Are you saying people who don't sign their posts aren't gentlemen???





With you always,

j_t

Offline outin

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10072 on: February 02, 2020, 06:30:48 AM »



You however must be a good person (even if nuts). We should all recycle more to save the environment!

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10073 on: February 02, 2020, 06:50:48 AM »
We should all recycle more to save the environment!

I know a great way to help reduce paper wastage...

Tell all those wankers who deliver junk mail catalogues to your mailbox to f@#$ off!!!



No more junk mail, far less paper being thrown out and ending up in landfill.

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10074 on: February 02, 2020, 07:48:54 AM »
I know a great way to help reduce paper wastage...

I make two paper wastages every morning in the terlet better than that crap in my mailbox.

FFS, one out of about fifty pieces of mail is something I actually want or (inclusive, wedge) is actually addressed to me.

Even my bank sends me trash, when I specifically told them to do it all electronically.

And the mail carrier is a effing tool. 

I'm with you always,

j_tour

Offline outin

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10075 on: February 02, 2020, 09:32:58 AM »
I know a great way to help reduce paper wastage...

Tell all those wankers who deliver junk mail catalogues to your mailbox to f@#$ off!!!



No more junk mail, far less paper being thrown out and ending up in landfill.
Yep!


I get almost no paper mail anymore...not even bills...

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10076 on: February 02, 2020, 11:52:45 PM »
I got a couple of pamphlets from Jehovahs witnesses once in my mailbox, despite the No Junk mail being clearly posted on it.

Got the address of their centre off the mail, stuck the mail through the shredder about 10x and then proceeded to head to their headquarters, greeted the lovely nutjobs there and dropped it all over their desk; told them they could have their junk mail back.

Walked out of there feeling very good.

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10077 on: February 03, 2020, 12:31:02 AM »
I got a couple of pamphlets from Jehovahs witnesses once in my mailbox, despite the No Junk mail being clearly posted on it.

Got the address of their centre off the mail, stuck the mail through the shredder about 10x and then proceeded to head to their headquarters, greeted the lovely nutjobs there and dropped it all over their desk; told them they could have their junk mail back.

Walked out of there feeling very good.

That's pretty impressive.  Plus they're all like hippies and Jesus freaks, so they have to turn the other cheek.

I opened the front door some years ago to a couple of young, attractive women doing some religious thing...not sure which Xian sect they were all about.  Usually saying "I'm Catholic" causes the bible-thumpers to recoil in horror, and ends the conversation, but they were pretty cool.  I showed them my Latin Vulgate edition of the New Testament and we compared some passages (that's fun for me to see how things are translated).  It was kind of an amusing way to spend a few minutes.

And never forget:

I'm with you, always,

j_t

P.S.  May you all have a blessèd day observing the feast of the presentation of the lord.  God bless you!

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10078 on: February 03, 2020, 03:58:51 AM »
I showed them my Latin Vulgate edition of the New Testament and we compared some passages (that's fun for me to see how things are translated). 

I told them I read daily from the Necronomicon... never saw them again...

Don't know what happened???

Offline outin

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10079 on: February 03, 2020, 04:22:26 AM »
I told them I read daily from the Necronomicon... never saw them again...

Don't know what happened???

There's a reason why I never react to the doorbell...it's either someone selling (religious folks included) or begging and I do not buy or give, so better not waste anyone's time.

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10080 on: February 03, 2020, 04:31:24 AM »
I told them I read daily from the Necronomicon... never saw them again...

Don't know what happened???

Showing them a peek inside a trashbag full of dead mice, and pointing to a chicken in a cage might do it.

Pulling the Psalter (Liber psalmorum) from the pocket and reading some of the tasty bits would just be a fun addition.  Yes, I often carry that little book in my pocket if I have to kill some time, but the flat black cover with only the title written in white script probably does its job at scaring away some of the rebel Anglo-Teutonic sectarians.

Or, pulling a Mossberg 500 12 gauge shotgun down off its rack, with no cartridge in the chamber, and racking the slide before opening the door.  (Yes, that's likely what part of my tax refund is going to this year).

Or, pressing the button on the mixer to solo the SM57 on a desktop mic stand to amplify crude messages of doom cribbed from the movie The Exorcist would do. 

With you always,

jt

ETA No, I'm not always Vulgate-toting:  some of the Universal-Bibliothek Reclam formats are good, like a good one of Ingeborg Bachmann, or even Goethe's Faust II, and some tiny editions of tales from Conrad.  American publishers really don't have anything comparable in portable format.  The French have many excellent publishing houses, but even then, they haven't mastered the ultra-miniature format. 

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10081 on: February 03, 2020, 06:37:33 AM »
Showing them a peek inside a trashbag full of dead mice, and pointing to a chicken in a cage might do it.

Yeah, but I don't have a trashbag full of dead mice.

The Doom messages mixed with music from the exorcist though - that's beautiful.

Offline outin

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10082 on: February 03, 2020, 10:52:44 AM »
Yeah, but I don't have a trashbag full of dead mice.

The Doom messages mixed with music from the exorcist though - that's beautiful.

But that might be a copyright violation...

Maybe I should ask them in, put on one of my weird faces, roll my eyes, sit on the piano and play them Alkan's La chanson de la folle au bord de la mer...or Scriabin 6 would be even better if I could pay it...some trashbags and an axe by the piano would be a nice addition ;)

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10083 on: February 03, 2020, 10:41:24 PM »
Yeah, but I don't have a trashbag full of dead mice.

Yeah, but you could acquire one.  A trip to a pet shop, ask for about a hundred frozen mice.  Say it's for your pet snake, or your brother-in-law, or whatever.

ETA

Almost forgot to be a gentleman!

With you always,

jt

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10084 on: February 04, 2020, 09:49:17 AM »
A trip to a pet shop, ask for about a hundred frozen mice.  Say it's for your pet snake

Meh - I'd rather use that money for prostitutes...

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10085 on: February 04, 2020, 06:29:12 PM »
Meh - I'd rather use that money for prostitutes...



You're right:  cocaine and dead mice it is, then.

With you always,

j_t

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10086 on: February 05, 2020, 09:05:07 AM »
I feel like this is one of the Pokemon games...


"A wild Zebrataur appears..."


Offline Bob

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10087 on: February 05, 2020, 09:17:29 AM »
Favorite new teacher quote -- "You found the only possible wrong answer."

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10088 on: February 05, 2020, 12:29:57 PM »
I gotta get me one of them... do you just dial 1-800-HONEY   ?!?

 ;D

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10089 on: February 06, 2020, 05:33:51 PM »
I gotta get me one of them... do you just dial 1-800-HONEY   ?!?

 ;D

You don't have to open the dialer app on your phone, or whatever you people use.

Just apply honey liberally.


Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10090 on: February 07, 2020, 10:21:38 AM »
You don't have to open the dialer app on your phone, or whatever you people use.

Just apply honey liberally.


Tried that... got a visit from him:





Now, I need a bloody lawyer...    >:(

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10091 on: February 07, 2020, 05:55:48 PM »
Tried that... got a visit from him:





Now, I need a bloody lawyer...    >:(

Woah, man, that like blew my mind.  Giant sexual harrassment pandas are capable of unspeakable acts of horror and savagery.  They're the Col. Kurtzes of the animal kingdom. 

They've been known to ingest large amounts of dextromethorphan and roam various theme parks in search of prey.

They put the "pal" in palpate.

And, like me, they are With you always,

j_t


Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10092 on: February 08, 2020, 12:19:16 AM »
And, like me, they are With you always

That makes you sound like you're in some bush outside my residence...

...ready to stalk me when I leave the house.

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10093 on: February 08, 2020, 06:16:19 AM »
That makes you sound like you're in some bush outside my residence...

...ready to stalk me when I leave the house.



I'm with you always, in the bush, watching the pies,

j_t

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10094 on: February 08, 2020, 01:55:09 PM »
Is this how you spend your day J_Tour - watching people with their legs stretched out, cleaning their balls???

The insight into your mind is getting creepy...

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10095 on: February 08, 2020, 05:58:08 PM »
Is this how you spend your day J_Tour - watching people with their legs stretched out, cleaning their balls???

The insight into your mind is getting creepy...

Not just watch.  It's also how I roll.

Nobody messes with the Jesus.

Best regards,

j_t

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10096 on: February 09, 2020, 02:25:06 AM »
Well... according to one pastor - Jesus hates us.

https://www.perthnow.com.au/news/offbeat/australian-bushfires-a-sign-that-asteroid-will-destroy-earth-in-10-years-ng-b881453723z

Why the hell they used the ramblings of a pastor to make a news article about it though is beyond me.

(For those who aren't Australia, the above link isn't a real news page)

Offline lostinidlewonder

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10097 on: February 09, 2020, 03:03:21 AM »
Pastor Thomas Thorn needs a kick in the head I think. He obviously is ignoring that the end will come like a thief in the night and that NO ONE knows the time, his literal reading of the bible is bothersome too.
"The biggest risk in life is to take no risk at all."
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Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10098 on: February 09, 2020, 03:28:01 AM »
I like that guy.  Thomas Thom:  It's like twice the Aquinas, so he must be twice as good.

Reminds of Charles Manson in his early years, before he sold out and went commercial.

He's likely a personal advisor to Scott Morrison in things like bible studying and stuff, probably, right?

I'm with you always, forever, and ever,

j_t

Offline lostinidlewonder

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
«Reply #10099 on: February 09, 2020, 05:14:00 AM »
He's likely a personal advisor to Scott Morrison in things like bible studying and stuff, probably, right?
In Australia politicians all write a few ideas out on a scrap of paper and it all gets put into a hat. Some cheat and tear out pages with writing on it already, sometimes it makes sense.
"The biggest risk in life is to take no risk at all."
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