Last post wins!!!!!

[j_tour]

See... types using ampersands and asterisks and can't even use the alphabet to form words.

*** christ stupid sh*t-eating bogan piece of sh*t.  you *** wasted every good part of your mother's cunt coming out you ***.

yes, that's a test post to see how the automated filter works. 

ETA *** christ sh*t ***, every other goddamned *** word is now fucked in the goddamned ass sh*t.  ***.   sh*t.  well what the motherfuck alphafuckingbet I'm supposed to use now *** gobshite.

[outin]

yes, that's a test post to see how the automated filter works. 

Testing...

Saatanan tunarit!

Yes, it works! Just write your curses in another language. Google can translate for us



edit Or at least it gave me a good laugh 

[perfect_pitch]

Meh... all that work J_Tour and most of it was blanked out. You need to expand your vocabulary to include words that most don't think of...

...you bloody numpty.

[j_tour]

Putain merde, franchement ça me fait chier.  Putasse merde même.

[outin]

Putain merde, franchement ça me fait chier.  Putasse merde même.

Not too bad, you're a fast learner!

[j_tour]

Not too bad, you're a fast learner!

Ouais et comment, espèce putain.  Merde.  Ça me fait bien rigoler ces choses-là, putain qu'on merde.  Putain.

[outin]

Ouais et comment, espèce putain.  Merde.  Ça me fait bien rigoler ces choses-là, putain qu'on merde.  Putain.

I don't actually speak french you know... even with the help of mr google I could not figure out the connection between the text and the photo. It only made me hungry, perkele!

[j_tour]

I don't actually speak french you know... even with the help of mr google I could not figure out the connection between the text and the photo. It only made me hungry, perkele!

No, there's no connection between my idiotic bleating in French and the picture.

I'm pretty sure there's still marks from where the jockey was hitting the animal the burger came from, though.  They do make a good burger, but I've gotten food poisoning there at least once.  Not too hygienic.

[perfect_pitch]

I'm pretty sure there's still marks from where the jockey was hitting the animal the burger came from, though.

WHY is it that, the mention of horsemeat... THIS:



...was the first thing that came to mind.   

[j_tour]

WHY is it that, the mention of horsemeat... THIS:



...was the first thing that came to mind.   

I don't know. 

Because you're a nerd?

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

Because you're a nerd?

You say that, like it's a bad thing.

[j_tour]

You say that, like it's a bad thing.

Yeah! 

I admit I have some nerd friends, and some of them are all right.

But, there is such a thing as too much nerdery.

One minute you're hanging out a nudie bar with a few pals, the next thing you know they're bringing out a hardcover edition of some Tolkien novel, and trying to talk to the strippers, and it's game over, man.

[perfect_pitch]

One minute you're hanging out a nudie bar with a few pals, the next thing you know they're bringing out a hardcover edition of some Tolkien novel, and trying to talk to the strippers, and it's game over, man.

Hey... don't use them as a reasonable example of a 'nerd'. I don't even own a copy of the Tolkein books.

[j_tour]

Hey... don't use them as a reasonable example of a 'nerd'. I don't even own a copy of the Tolkein books.

I'll use whatever I want, MF! 

Truth is, I might actually have some latent nerd tendencies.  I prefer not to talk about it.

But if you tell anyone, I will end you!

NERD FIGHT!

YEAH!!!!!!!

[perfect_pitch]

[j_tour]

There are some elderly people here!

If the novel covid doesn't get them, you're going to get them from fright!

That is a damned good graphic, though.   

[perfect_pitch]

That is a damned good graphic, though. 

DAMNIT... I had a good comeback to that earlier - why the HECK didn't it post???

[j_tour]

DAMNIT... I had a good comeback to that earlier - why the HECK didn't it post???

Shut up, nerd! 

Isn't there some Lord of The Rings for you people or something?

Oh. 

It's fine.

Besides, how can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

Profound genuflection. 

It's going to be months until I can go out and shoot a few racks of pocket billiards.

Yep.

You guys and gals are going to be stuck with me running my mouth off pretty much forever.

[perfect_pitch]

Maybe, but we ain't dumb enough to click any of your links... Bob taught me better than that.

Actually, no... he lulled me into a false sense of trust and then embedded awful things from the internet that shouldn't have ever been resurrected.

Damn you Bob... now I can't trust anyone on the internet.



...and you're not helping to build that trust J_Tour. Anyway, to distract you - here's Steve Martin playing the Banjo with Kermit the frig...

(Never thought the day would come where an actual video of that would exist)

[j_tour]

Maybe, but we ain't dumb enough to click any of your links... Bob taught me better than that.

Actually, no... he lulled me into a false sense of trust and then embedded awful things from the internet that shouldn't have ever been resurrected.

Damn you Bob... now I can't trust anyone on the internet.



...and you're not helping to build that trust J_Tour. Anyway, to distract you - here's Steve Martin playing the Banjo with Kermit the frig...

See? 

That's why you're not going to pwn this thread.

Too much talking.

Not enough winning.

Don't worry about it.

I got this thread covered.

It's cool.

Because I won it.

Yeah, man.

[perfect_pitch]

Because I won it.

You always 'won' the thread... 'won' being the past tense...

...as in, always being 2nd best and beaten by others.

Like me.

[j_tour]

You always 'won' the thread... 'won' being the past tense...

...as in, always being 2nd best and beaten by others.

Like me.

Well, future perfect tense, I would say.

Or, another way to say is that I always have already won the thread.

You're just tardy, young man!

Because I already won.

In the future.

From the perspective of the past.

Which already happened.

Yep.

Don't you guys who've lost the thread have like a jockey's club where you all hang out and commiserate about the good old days, when you might have won the thread?

[outin]

I have been winning
I have won
I won
I win
I am winning
I will win
I will be winning
I will have won
I will have been winning
I had been winning
I am the one to win

Is it getting clear now?

I always enjoyed grammar in school, whatever the language 

[perfect_pitch]

Are you all forgetting about my 4th dimension win???



I'm going to come back in the future and end this thread once and for all when you're all dead.

[j_tour]

Are you all forgetting about my 4th dimension win???



I'm going to come back in the future and end this thread once and for all when you're all dead.

Oh, Judas effing Priest.

That is some grade-A classic nerdery right there.

Oh, no.

And now you've got little outiin joining in with his own nerdery.

No.

I can't have this!

I already won the thread,

Damn.

[perfect_pitch]

That is some grade-A classic nerdery right there.

HEY!!!

That deserves an effing A+, thank you very much... Like to see any of you beat THAT!!!

[j_tour]

HEY!!!

That deserves an effing A+, thank you very much... Like to see any of you beat THAT!!!

Well thank you very much!

But it's just money in the bank to me, fool.

That's right, son, just keep on it!

[perfect_pitch]

You're just jealous that you didn't think of it first...

[j_tour]

You're just jealous that you didn't think of it first...

Well, I thought of it last.

No you all get out of here, without your dry white toast and without your four fried chickens!

[perfect_pitch]

Never seen the movie... and thanks to that little clip, lost all interest of ever seeing it in the first place.

Thanks J.

Are you happy with me truncating your name to just a single letter? I only ask because typing the underscore in your name is a pain in the arse; not to mention the fact that a decent Englishman would Capitalise both the J and the T around the underscore... and that's just a pain in the arse to do.

[visitor]

perfect_pitch, this one is for you

[perfect_pitch]

Mmm... do I trust visitor and listen to the YouTube link...?










































































































...Damn you, you evil bastard.   

[outin]

Never seen the movie... and thanks to that little clip, lost all interest of ever seeing it in the first place.

What? Another classic you have not seen?

So have you even seen The Shining? Silence of the Lambs? Pulp Fiction?

I fact, have you seen ANY proper films? Meaning films that are not based on video games or cartoon charachters? (which probably were the final blow to proper film making)

[perfect_pitch]

So have you even seen The Shining? Silence of the Lambs? Pulp Fiction?

Yes
Yes and...
Yes.

And no offense, but I thought this scene...

...was just uncomfortable.

[outin]

Yes
Yes and...
Yes.

And no offense, but I thought this scene...

...was just uncomfortable.

Drinking coffee from a yellow mug? I know what you mean...

[j_tour]

You people are off your nut, man.

Nothing you're going to say is going to make me forget I love my gourmet expensive coffee. 

Can you keep those spurs from jingling and jangling, Lash LaRue?

Fair enough. 

You follow in the tainted car,  and let's hope Monster Joe isn't going to be disposing of multiple bodies.

ETA And, yes, p_p, I'll respond to "j" or "jimmy" or "jack" whatever.  sh*t.  I don't care.   Half my family is Irish, from Ireland three generations ago and they stayed pretty purely interbred, and the other half is French from down in Cajun land, so you probably guess what my opinions about a bunch of English hoodlums have to say is.  Not that good, I'd say.  I don't give a flying eff what some damned pommie English people have to say.

[perfect_pitch]

so you probably guess what my opinions about a bunch of English hoodlums have to say is.  Not that good, I'd say.  I don't give a flying eff what some damned pommie English people have to say.

Lucky for me, I'm not English?   

[outin]

Speaking of movies...just watched something quite entertaining called The Beast With Five Fingers...it's even piano related 

There's a cool scene that reminded me of my pact with R4...

[perfect_pitch]

Yeah... no way I can watch a black and white movie. Seriously???

Okay, while we're on piano... did anyone see this?

It looks kind of cheesy...

[outin]

Yeah... no way I can watch a black and white movie. Seriously???

So how can you play piano then??? Using the colour keys method??


I have not watched Grand Piano yet, I think it sounds a bit boring. But maybe I will one of these days. After I have watched some more cool oldies

[perfect_pitch]

That would give me a headache...

[j_tour]

That would give me a headache...

Bah.  You people are giving me a headache now.  I gotta go into my day job in a few hours and I just now last night texted one of my gals that I think me and her should eff.  Now, I said it nice, and in French text/chat slang, which I know she doesn't speak and probably none of the automated translators would give a good translation, but all she's got to do is call up somebody who knows and they'll tell her exactly what I said, and she's not going to be none too pleased with me.  More or less I told her "Hey, honey, you and me, let's f***."  There's no mistaking what I said.

She's undoubtedly going to either punch me in the face later today, or just laugh at me, or she's just going to give me one of those looks like "I'm very disappointed in you, fool."

Nah, that's fine.  I'll go in today and face the music, so to speak.

But on three hours sleep?  She's not going to be happy at all, I know. 

Who knows.  She might let me apologize and then come at her with a little bit of "Well all right, woman!  Let's boogie!"

[perfect_pitch]

Bah.  You people are giving me a headache now.  I gotta go into my day job in a few hours and I just now last night texted one of my gals that I think me and her should eff.  Now, I said it nice, and in French text/chat slang, which I know she doesn't speak and probably none of the automated translators would give a good translation, but all she's got to do is call up somebody who knows and they'll tell her exactly what I said, and she's not going to be none too pleased with me.  More or less I told her "Hey, honey, you and me, let's f***."  There's no mistaking what I said.

She's undoubtedly going to either punch me in the face later today, or just laugh at me, or she's just going to give me one of those looks like "I'm very disappointed in you, fool."

Nah, that's fine.  I'll go in today and face the music, so to speak.

But on three hours sleep?  She's not going to be happy at all, I know. 

[j_tour]

Yeah, as a matter of fact I could use some good luck.

Because I was just reminded of how much people are not anything, and they should all just go straight to heck.

Signed,

Your friendly local misanthrope

[perfect_pitch]

Damn... that was highly enjoyable. I laughed my arse at that.

My day has just gotten a little nicer.

Anyone else teaching piano online nowadays???

[j_tour]

Damn... that was highly enjoyable. I laughed my arse at that.

My day has just gotten a little nicer.

Anyone else teaching piano online nowadays???

Good!  Yeah, that film clip never fails to improve my mood.  I really, really don't tolerate tailgaters, at all.  It's not infrequent I'll follow them to their house or apartment and just spend a few quiet moments parked in front of their abodes.

Not really mature, but I'm pretty fit and strong physically, so I'm not worried about any confrontation.

No, unfortunately, I can't do online teaching, since I just use my mobile phone connection to get online, which hasn't any bandwidth to speak of.  Not to mention I kind of suck at piano and Hammond organ.  Yeah, I can play my own style pretty well (indeed, better than anyone else, because it's my own bag I'm drawing out of)

It would be a good idea, and I'm positive I could easily drum up a few contacts from the recent past and just do some mini rock-and-roll or blues/country piano demonstrations from home, but it's not a priority right now, and it wouldn't yield much money at all, not even to offset the costs of a true broadband connection.

[Bob]

*Bob returns.*   Oh, ok.  We're going that way.  Ok....

[Bob]

And this. 

https://twitter.com/Sandford_Police/status/1246125769539162113

So for everyone after this post, that including posting on this thread. 

[perfect_pitch]

Why is it nothing interesting like that ever happens in Perth...