Last post wins!!!!!

[j_tour]

Yeah.  Real cute.  You win the prize.

But by this:  "You may not post words or URLs that are censored by adding spaces, dots, or substituting characters, or by any other means attempt to defeat any censors put in place by Piano Forum."

It is stated that all words not blocked by the automated censors are allowed.

*** you, cunt.

And it does happen to be that I like cute brunettes, but I like them for companionship and not for just getting my *** on.  I really like *** them, but it depends on the gal.

Apparently the state religion of Sweden doesn't have a problem with the word "cunt," so, therefore, it's allowed.

Yes, I'm well familiar with commonwealth uses of the term.

ETA Yeah, it's nothing personal, it's just pure impotent rage.  I don't think you're a cunt, I think you're OK, but random rules give me a raging hard-on to go full Ted Kaczinsky on it. 

Especially when they're created and implemented by some moron who can't be bothered to work a typewriter keyboard to use a "filter."

Regards,

Nellie

Oh, and

Just don't.  My main desk at my home office is made of tempered glass, and, I can assure you, the plate of glass would break like a twig if held like that.  It can hold all day and all night, but it's going to break holding that load in that manner.

[j_tour]

All right.

How about we just call a truce.

I'll stop trying to hump your leg. outin, or whatever you call yourself, and I'll stop trying to kill whatsisface from Australia.

I think members of this thread should direct ourselves to getting rid of the dirty nit-picking rat who had a bug up his or her ass and complained that this thread was corrupting the youth.  Not that we don't love our Einsatzgruppen little darling children, bless their hearts.   

I know pp knows some stuff about music.  I don't claim to be an expert, but I can play.  outin, not sure, but she's a girl, and she seems sincere in her interest in keyboard works, so she can be allowed.  Bob?  I have no *** idea. 

With warm regards,

Nellie

[perfect_pitch]

Oh CHRIST... Not that movie. Most Scots hate that... I'm not sure if it's the piss-poor storyline, or poor special effects...

Or the fact that every female Scottish womans heart-throb is in a movie so bad.

[outin]

I'll stop trying to hump your leg. outin

Good, because it is a really annoying practice...for some reason you dogs always want to try that on me...a fast kick does solve the problem though.

[j_tour]

Good, because it is a really annoying practice...for some reason you dogs always want to try that on me...a fast kick does solve the problem though.

Yeah but a good kick to the dong is really good for masochists.  They ***** love that ***. 

Most Scots hate that... I'm not sure if it's the piss-poor storyline, or poor special effects...

Bollocks, Highlander is a classic!  One of the high points of Neil Connery's career.

[j_tour]

There used to be pretty pictures in this thread, I am very disappointed in you!

I must again make it better I guess...

And note the very deliberate lack of animals in that "picture"!  I'm serious, pictures of animals make me want to effing hurl.  If you want to do a nice picture, it should be either (i) retard scrawl (ii) or of something nice like trees and other plants. 

And "think of the children" as a phrase can just suck it.  I don't give a *** about some retarded little mongoloid kid, and anyone who does is undoubtedly either a molester or a brain damaged moron.

Regards,

Nellie

And, yes, the secret to making the retard scrawl is to use your LH on a trackpad in a primitive graphics desktop application.  I use something called "Pinta" for the XFCE desktop out of the ubuntu repos.  It is good and dumb, just the way I like it.

The secret to making the retard cry?  Take away its eyeballs.  Or whatever.  I do not give a *** anymore.

[perfect_pitch]

Bollocks, Highlander is a classic!  One of the high points of Neil Connery's career.

Neil... NEIL?!? Whae the f@#$ is Neil? Say that in Scotland and they'll dae yaer head in.

[j_tour]

Neil... NEIL?!? Whae the f@#$ is Neil? Say that in Scotland and they'll dae yaer head in.

Neil Connery?  The great actor?

I think he had some brother or something who did movies like Zardoz, or Moonraker, or those types of pictures,  but I wouldn't know what they do in Scotland about movies.

The great American actor Joe Estevez had a brother like that, too, called, strangely enough Martin Sheen (were they bastard children?  nobody knows!), but the latter's career never really took off like Joe's did.

Do the Scottish go hooliganing about like those pommies and their matches of footie?  Is that what they do about movies?

//ETA and note that Connery is not to be pronounced like "conneries," or a horde of barbarians will attack!  I've heard it said, many moons ago.  And on that night it was decided, there was to be no peace between the French and the Scottish. 

[perfect_pitch]

Neil Connery?  The great actor?

Do the Scottish go hooliganing about like those pommies and their matches of footie?

Hell no - we do it in style. First we kick the sh*t out of the English at football... then just to rub it in their face, we kick the sh*t out of the fans, riot about our win, set the stadium ablaze, go the pub, get sh*t-faced, drink scotch until our livers feel like someones got it in a vice grip and squeezing the mother-loving sh*t out of it, pass out at home and wake up the next day feeling absolutely perfect.

All in all, good fun.

[j_tour]

First we kick the sh*t out of the English at football... then just to rub it in their face, we kick the sh*t out of the fans, riot about our win, set the stadium ablaze, go the pub, get sh*t-faced, drink scotch until our livers feel like someones got it in a vice grip and squeezing the mother-loving sh*t out of it, pass out at home and wake up the next day feeling absolutely perfect.

All in all, good fun.

Actually, you may think I have not mature tastes, but that does sound like a pretty good time.

And in order to wake up feeling "perfect," you do have a little something in your coffee?

The French way is to have breakfast of a bottle or two of white wine, to not stain the teeth, but I'm sure the Scottish have a similar palliative.

/*ETA No, you just wake up and *** your sheep!   

Battle royale!  It's on ***!*/

[perfect_pitch]

And in order to wake up feeling "perfect," you do have a little something in your coffee?

Whiskey... if you drink just plain coffee, you may develop a hangover after a short period of time.

Actually, you may think I have not mature tastes, but that does sound like a pretty good time.

Thank you - I wasn't thinking that... however, your grammar does need work.

[j_tour]

Whiskey... if you drink just plain coffee, you may develop a hangover after a short period of time.

Well, see there is one thing I agree with.

Hangovers are for quitters, and God hates a quitter. 

/*ETA what if a child saw this and it wasn't wearing its helmet?  They could probably be very much turned into Magneto, yes, very much, into Magneto, into Magneto.  I saw it in a mannerd store, a bookshop, in a mannerd store, a bookshop.*/

Thank you - I wasn't thinking that... however, your grammar does need work.

No it doesn't.  I remember my Latin remember my Latin.  I'm an excellent driver, an excellent driver.

"Hooker:  What do you do here?
Rain Man:  We're counting cards
Hooker:  Yeah, but what do you do here?
Rain Man:  We're counting cards
Hooker:  Yeah, but what do you do here?
Rain Man:  We're *** sheep.
Hooker:  Yeah, but what do you do here?
Rain Man:  We're *** sheep.
Hooker:  Yeah, but what do you do here?
Rain Man:  We're *** sheep.
Hooker:  Yeah, but what do you do here?
Rain Man:  We're *** sheep.
Hooker:  Yeah, but what do you do here?
Rain Man:  Are you taking any prescription medications?"

[perfect_pitch]

Are you taking any prescription medications?

One could ask you the same question.

[j_tour]

One could ask you the same question.

I love pills.  Ibuprofen in the 800mg size, Pseudoepehdrine, Diphenhydramine.  Loratidine.  LSD. 

They're good for you!

[perfect_pitch]

They're good for you!

So is fresh air and sunshine - try to get more of them and you might need less of these:

I love pills.  Ibuprofen in the 800mg size, Pseudoepehdrine, Diphenhydramine.  Loratidine.  LSD.

[j_tour]

So is fresh air and sunshine - try to get more of them and you might need less of these:

Bah, what is that, some kind of hippie propaganda?

I live in the hippie headquarters of the US, and the only reason is that I like the local flora. 

You people can't trick me with that hippie noise.  I know nothing everything about the natural world.

Combined with better living through chemistry, it's *** great!

[Bob]

Not Bs.... Cs.... 

[j_tour]

Not Bs.... Cs.... 

OK, that was the first laugh of a kind of morose day. 

Very good.

Do you want a piece of candy, Bob?

Go ahead....you've earned it!

 

/*ETA OK, fine, both outin and Bob are allowed to post pictures again of animals.  But only of birds.  And they sure as sh*t better be the alive kind with feathers and sh*t.  The Highlander is still not allowed animal privileges.********/

[perfect_pitch]

Not Bs.... Cs.... 

C's??? I heard some triple-flat D's, some quarter-tones and a woman shrieking at the end.

Where were the C's???

[j_tour]

C's??? I heard some triple-flat D's, some quarter-tones and a woman shrieking at the end.

Where were the C's???

Well, unlike some people, we don't all have perfect pitch, Oh Grand Wizard of Zardoz.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure IIRC that aria is in Bb, but I didn't go to the keyboard and check.

/*ETA Or d minor.  Whatever.  Same thing, pretty much.*/

[perfect_pitch]

Anyway, I'm pretty sure IIRC that aria is in Bb, but I didn't go to the keyboard and check.

/*ETA Or d minor.  Whatever.  Same thing, pretty much.*/

NO... D minor is NOT the same thing as Bb and they are NOT the same thing. It's like saying blue is the same thing as green, or pink the same as yellow.

Not even close.

[j_tour]

NO... D minor is NOT the same thing as Bb and they are NOT the same thing. It's like saying blue is the same thing as green, or pink the same as yellow.

Not even close.

Meh, so one's got an extra flat in it.  No big deal.

You try playing "Blue Velvet" in Bb without using the D minor chord and see how far that gets you, mister man.

[perfect_pitch]

Meh, so one's got an extra flat in it.

And an extra sharp as well... are you forgetting about that?

[j_tour]

And an extra sharp as well... are you forgetting about that?

Yeah, yeah, whatever.  So you want the leading tone in D minor.

Meh, all the keys are the same.

You just hit the "transpose" button on your stage piano!   

[outin]

Please stop! You are giving me a headache with all that music theory...go discuss your flats elsewhere let me enjoy my win!

[j_tour]

Please stop! You are giving me a headache with all that music theory...go discuss your flats elsewhere let me enjoy my win!

There's no winning in this thread. 

"All that music theory?"  What is that supposed to mean?  I assure you the discussion can get much, much, more boring and esoteric.

pp is very insulted, I'm sure.  He might well break out of his cage and post an animal picture, which is not allowed for him at the moment.

I don't want to have to punish him:  it would hurt me more than it would hurt him.  But, the rules are the rules.

[Bob]

*Disregarding all the green.... Bob is pretty sure that's avoiding social distancing as well as almost definitely splattering the other vocalist with the Queen of the Night's spit.*  Ew.   

I notice the orange vocalist turns away, no doubt from the constant rain of spit.  That's probably the real reason why she look terrified.  No acting required there.

[j_tour]

*Disregarding all the green.... Bob is pretty sure that's avoiding social distancing as well as almost definitely splattering the other vocalist with the Queen of the Night's spit.*  Ew.   

"Ew"?  No, that's totally hot. 

There might even be bits of food being exchanged, in the manner one bird feeds a hatchling.  That's how I feed the birds which nest outside one of my windows.  They love it.

Don't be so shocked:  everyone does that with their romantic partners, as well.

It's an intimate bonding experience.

Regards,

Nellie, Birdperson and Degenerate

[outin]

No-one gets to share my food. Never. It's mine.
If you ever try to share my pizza you will lose some fingers.

[perfect_pitch]

There's no winning in this thread. 

Sure there is, you all won't get to experience it however... since I'll win this thread.

There's no winning in this thread. "All that music theory?"

We haven't even discussed what the key signature of E# Major would be? Theory is fun and helps expand the mind...

pp is very insulted, I'm sure.  He might well break out of his cage and post an animal picture, which is not allowed for him at the moment.

REALLY??? I dare to defy those who say I can't or won't...

I don't want to have to punish him

Bring it on, b!tch. I dare you to do your worst.     

[j_tour]

Bring it on, b!tch. I dare you to do your worst.     

MAVERICK!!!!!  GOOSE!!!!!!!

I want to see some butts in my office right now!

And what's this E# crap about?

Cb is where it's at.

[perfect_pitch]

Meh - C# Major is boring, it's just got sharps on all the notes...

Now E# makes you bloody well think.

[j_tour]

Meh - C# Major is boring, it's just got sharps on all the notes...

Now E# makes you bloody well think.

Nice try, Steinberg.

I said Cb.

Even that geezer windbag Bach wrote in C#.  Very square key.   Everyone knows he made a mistake and meant to write the WTC pieces in Db, though.  That's a man's key, unlike C#.

Can I stud a baseball bat with nails and club that baby seal, though?  Sounds like good cardio.

[j_tour]

No-one gets to share my food. Never. It's mine.
If you ever try to share my pizza you will lose some fingers.

No one wants to eat your pizza.

They just want to chew it and regurgitate it in your mouth.

It's considered polite in Bird Culture, and it will help your teeth remain unmolested by that pesky act of chewing.

I'm sure there's a website devoted to the practice.

We haven't even discussed what the key signature of E# Major would be? Theory is fun and helps expand the mind...

I'd have to think about it, but it's got a lot of ##s in it, pretty sure.

I'd just play it in F and set the transpose function to "0"

What's the relative minor, like C## or something?

[perfect_pitch]

What's the relative minor, like C## or something?

Technically it would be Cx minor...

You can't just use 2 sharps for a double sharp - use your head J_Tour.

[j_tour]

Technically it would be Cx minor...

You can't just use 2 sharps for a double sharp - use your head J_Tour.

No duh, but it's not just an "x" it's that fancy squiggly x.

The plain "x" is reserved in some notations for a dominant 7 chord.

[perfect_pitch]

I've never seen an 'x' used for Dominant chords...

I demand PROOF!!!

[j_tour]

I've never seen an 'x' used for Dominant chords...

I demand PROOF!!!

Yeah, I got your proof right here.

Oh, you want ACTUAL proof?

OK.

[perfect_pitch]

Did you actually know there was a song called 'Actual proof' or did you Google it?

[outin]

Did you actually know there was a song called 'Actual proof' or did you Google it?

A song?!
Are you one of those??

[j_tour]

Did you actually know there was a song called 'Actual proof' or did you Google it?

Yeah.  How would one google something like that, anyway?  Also, I don't use google except for e-mail.  I Bing it, baby!

It's more or less a modern standard in improvised American music.  I would say most jazz people know the tune, even though it's pretty hard to cover Paul Jackson's bass verbatim in the LH while performing with the RH.

A song?!
Are you one of those??

He only sings fixed-do solfeggio after he transposes everything to E#.

When he's not disobeying my instructions and posting animal pictures when he's not supposed to.

OK, pp, I'm feeling magnanimous, and you may post pictures of animals.  But they must be of birds, and not be grotesque in any way.

There could be young enthusiasts reading this thread, after all.

Warm regards,

Nellie,Youth Pastor, Boy Scout troop leader, and lover of children everywhere.

[perfect_pitch]

A song?!
Are you one of those??

I didn't bother listening to it - I don't really like Jazz.

[j_tour]

I didn't bother listening to it - I don't really like Jazz.

NERD!!!!!!!!!!!

[outin]

I didn't bother listening to it - I don't really like Jazz.

 

[j_tour]

You try playing it, ***.

[perfect_pitch]

Meh - There are Godowsky etudes that make that look like a piece of piss.

I'm busy learning Rachmaninoff anyway, I got other things to do.

[j_tour]

Meh - There are Godowsky etudes that make that look like a piece of piss.

I'm busy learning Rachmaninoff anyway, I got other things to do.

Yeah, well *** me in the ass, I just got done recovering some deleted files on an NTFS disk ***, and it took a long time.

And Phineas Newborn didn't just copy that sh*t out of some flower book.

Comrade.

And you know what else?  I once delivered flowers to Sergei's house, and do you know who answered the door?  Sergei himself.  And he was dressed in women's clothes.

[perfect_pitch]

Yeah, well *** me in the ass, I just got done recovering some deleted files on an NTFS disk ***, and it took a long time.

Finally getting rid of that gay porn stored in that 'secret' folder under C:\   

 

You DO know that IT experts can recover most of that crap.   

[j_tour]

Finally getting rid of that gay porn stored in that 'secret' folder under C:\   

no u.

Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, give me the toast, and you haven't broken any rules.

You can't just use 2 sharps for a double sharp - use your head J_Tour.

Yeah, well use my fist in your face, ***.  I don't use capital letters because I had an accident once when I was very small and the family said not to talk about it because of how it makes an angel's wings very sad. Some said half of it was like a boudin noir just ripe but some others just brought out the mop.

Am I the sperm or the embryo?   

ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!

There must be an answer.   

DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!

Daddy's here.  Where's my bourbon?

//ETA Video clip for the handicapable

[perfect_pitch]

Could you have gotten a clip of the video that was ANY MORE INFERIOR in terms of quality???

I haven't seen an image that bad, since I misplaced my glasses. It's like the cameraman smeared on the vaseline, while the producer yelled 'Action...'