Last post wins!!!!!

[perfect_pitch]

Drinking urine is good for you.

Next you're going to say you hate all watersports.

Any mildly intelligent person is going to easily admit they don't get involved in 'watersports'.

Oh wait... do you mean snorkelling, synchronised swimming, and water polo??

[j_tour]

Oh wait... do you mean snorkelling, synchronised swimming, and water polo??

yes.  No. Maybe.

[perfect_pitch]

yes.  No. Maybe.

I'm going to play it safe and say...

...

[j_tour]

You so wrong to make bad.  Make maggots in brain, so wrong.

[perfect_pitch]

You so wrong to make bad.  Make maggots in brain, so wrong.

Player J_Tour attempted to use 'Insult', it was ineffective.
Player J_Tour attempted to use 'English', it was ineffective.

[j_tour]

Player J_Tour attempted to use 'Insult', it was ineffective.
Player J_Tour attempted to use 'English', it was ineffective.

p_p is not no playa.

but p_p does have praegnant cat or praegnant dog for make babby.

[perfect_pitch]

p_p is not no playa.

but p_p does have praegnant cat or praegnant dog for make babby.

I thought most web browsers had in-built spell-checkers.

I thought J_Tour also had more class than that.

[j_tour]

I thought most web browsers had in-built spell-checkers.

I thought J_Tour also had more class than that.

I don't know why one would think an unknown web browser conformed to standards.

And for someone who cannot or will not distinguish majuscule case letters....enough said.

And it's been established there are very low standards set, just for me.

Ahh.  But now that I've finished off the Paddy's Irish and am onto Steel Reserve 211 High Gravity Lager, you should expect a higher quality of retardation from me.

[perfect_pitch]

Oh dear... Bob-syndrome is starting to kick in. If left untreated, it can get to the point where you no longer remember how post anything on the internet at all... soon you'll be back to writing letters to your pen-pals and your enemies.

And it's been established there are very low standards set, just for me.

Ahh.  But now that I've finished off the Paddy's Irish and am onto Steel Reserve 211 High Gravity Lager, you should expect a higher quality of retardation from me.

I never had a doubt.

[Bob]

And then another parade came by... 

[j_tour]

And cancel all that "cultural appropriation":  I think there's only one person here who knows my last name, but I will say it's not to be misspelled or mispronounced in Cajun land.

And, no, my name is not Boudreaux or Thibodeaux. Close, though.

[perfect_pitch]

And cancel all that "cultural appropriation":  I think there's only one person here who knows my last name, but I will say it's not to be misspelled or mispronounced in Cajun land.

I know what you mean... just recently they've announced they're replacing the actor who does the voice for Apu Nahasapeemapetilon and Dr. Julius Hibbert from the Simpsons...

It's been 31 years for goodness sake - just let the original voice actors carry on the tradition. I mean, next they'll announce that the guy who does Groundskeeper Willies voice will have to be replaced with a real Scotsman.

[j_tour]

I mean, next they'll announce that the guy who does Groundskeeper Willies voice will have to be replaced with a real Scotsman.

Nah.  They won't do that.

They'd have to carry massive insurance costs for when the Scotsman inevitably gets soused and starts assaulting and violating the rest of the vocal cast and producers.

[perfect_pitch]

Nah.  They won't do that.

They'd have to carry massive insurance costs for when the Scotsman inevitably gets soused and starts assaulting and violating the rest of the vocal cast and producers.

That's the irish for goodness sake. The Scottish don't get drunk.

[j_tour]

That's the irish for goodness sake. The Scottish don't get drunk.

I've smelled the whisky on y'alls breath:  cain't fool me none!

[perfect_pitch]

Hey - we might have whisky on the breath - but that doesn't make us drunk. If you swished some whisky around in your mouth and spat it out, your breath would still smell of whisky, but you wouldn't be drunk.

Plus, most Scots need to drink about half a gallon of whisky before they start feeling warm and fuzzy inside. That's what living in a country where it rains 10 months out of the year will do to you...

...toughen you the FxCK UP!!!

[j_tour]

If you swished some whisky around in your mouth and spat it out, your breath would still smell of whisky, but you wouldn't be drunk.

Right.  The famously thrifty Scottish are going to be spitting out whisky.  That does not seem likely.

[perfect_pitch]

Right.  The famously thrifty Scottish are going to be spitting out whisky.

You do realise that the phrase 'thrifty Scottish' is an oxymoron... and trying to use an adjective like 'famously' in front of it just completely demolishes any ounce of truth to the matter.

[j_tour]

You do realise that the phrase 'thrifty Scottish' is an oxymoron... and trying to use an adjective like 'famously' in front of it just completely demolishes any ounce of truth to the matter.

I had no idea.

You must be a savant.

Do you have the shining?

Or are you a scanner?

[perfect_pitch]

In order...

Yes, yes... and no. I think if peoples heads had been exploding - I'd be their first prime suspect.

[j_tour]

In order...

Yes, yes... and no. I think if peoples heads had been exploding - I'd be their first prime suspect.

Fine, we'll do it the scanner way.

At least there's one movie not about transformer toybots you've heard of.

[visitor]

Peace on Gaia
And good trololo towards man
Praise be to dark bringer of calamity , Chtulhu

[j_tour]

[visitor]

[perfect_pitch]

At least there's one movie not about transformer toybots you've heard of.

The irony is, I've never seen the Transformers movie... ever.

[visitor]

The irony is, I've never seen the Transformers movie... ever.

no need ,but this Lord of the rings however is a must

[j_tour]

no need ,but this Lord of the rings however is a must

No it isn't.

[perfect_pitch]

Yeah, I'm sorry - but I have to agree with Visitor. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy was one of Peter Jacksons greatest gifts to the cinematic world.

How can you not like it??? You troglodyte.

[j_tour]

Yeah, I'm sorry - but I have to agree with Visitor. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy was one of Peter Jacksons greatest gifts to the cinematic world.

How can you not like it??? You troglodyte.

I didn't say I didn't like it.  It's fine entertainment for young adults.

It's not like the trilogy is  Heavenly Creatures or something, but it's adequate popcorn-face-stuffing fare.

Don't you have a Star Wars convention to go to, Gandalf?

[lelle]

For me I get choked up and sometimes the tears come at the most emotional moments of Lord of the Rings. I definitely don't see it as just popcorn entertainment.

[j_tour]

All right, fine.

Don't you people have a shire to go to and pick your little hobbit feet, or something?

I have to work on my upper body strength.

[perfect_pitch]

I have to work on my upper body strength.

I know... I've seen actual pictures of you in real life, so if you want to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger - you're going to have to spend 8 hours at the gym, 7 days a week, for the next 60 years if you've got a chance in hell of looking anywhere near as bulked up as he is.

Good luck.

[j_tour]

you're going to have to spend 8 hours at the gym, 7 days a week, for the next 60 years if you've got a chance in hell of looking anywhere near as bulked up as he is.

Nah.  I just have to eat a lot more, punish more things physically, then stop eating for a week and use some diuretics to aid in dehydrating myself.

I've started carrying a full gasoline can in the car, so I can roast pieces of fat and protein easily at any time.  Especially people, but sometimes I just like to watch them burn.

[compline]

How repulsive!

[j_tour]

How repulsive!

No it isn't.

[compline]

I could not make head nor tail of that strange utterance!

 Maybe Time to join me over the other side, for a bit of well earned respite this place.  J_tour.   

https://thebeethovenhub.createaforum.com/index.php

[perfect_pitch]

Hey Compline... you have stumbled into a thread that has been going on for years.

Like most of us - you learn to love each others foibles... especially J_Tours... although I think he really just needs therapy.

[j_tour]

Hey Compline... you have stumbled into a thread that has been going on for years.

Compline knows what it did. 

But I've been fixing this "lace retention" system on a pair of boots (after I broke the plastic retention clip off on purpose, thinking it was stupid, which it is) by practicing sheet bends, which I think is probably the most appropriate knot that I know for my use, and even then I couldn't remember how to tie it without looking it up.  (A binding knot between two threads of similar size, with both ends slack).

And I spent an hour "kneading" epoxy putty and positioning it, and failing a clamp of appropriate size, compressing it by hand for ten minutes, at several critical positions.

Yeah, serial killers are lazy, what with their zip ties and duck tape.  Shaolin master killer from Jaws is what's needed!

Goddammit, I promised to make a *** video of the *** Prokofiev precipitato, at least a few bars of the supposedly challenging bits.

And I did laundry.  And it's Friday.

You can all bite me.

I could not make head nor tail of that strange utterance!

You weren't supposed to.  I wanted to make a strange utterance or sequence of events, so I did.  I'm no Bob, but we can't all paint the Demoiselles d'Avignon

I'm sure beethovenhub is very good, but I have a habit of being forcibly ejected from places.  Anyway, I don't know any more about Beethoven than the average pianist.  If more, it's only because I've lived longer with his music.  He was a rotten bastard, though, so I admire him for that.

////////////////

ETA Oh, no, I mean, c'mon:  "You agree, through your use of this forum, that you will not post any material which is false, defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, adult material, or otherwise in violation of any International or United States Federal law."

I'm on board with false, inaccurate, abusive, harassing, threatening, invasive/privacy, obscene and even the adult material parts.

Those are not very good, and some of them can be very bad.

But vulgar, hateful, profane? 

I love those last three!  "Profanity" filters catch anything profane, and I do my best to abstain from using forbidden words, but I just must be vulgar and hateful!  There's no other option!  Salve regina!

[perfect_pitch]

I think what I love about this thread, is that J_Tour sometimes goes to extremes to write a lot in order to win... whereas...



Meh... I win!!!

[j_tour]

I think what I love about this thread, is that J_Tour sometimes goes to extremes to write a lot in order to win... whereas...

How do you know I wasn't clamping epoxy with one hand, waiting for it to set?  Whatever, maidenform.

Meh... I win!!!

What?

It is like the little shrew that roared unto the ear of the elephant, as mute and timid as one might find.

[perfect_pitch]

How do you know I wasn't clamping epoxy with one hand, waiting for it to set?  Whatever, maidenform.

There are... no words.

[j_tour]

There are... no words.

Highlander II:  The Quickening.

There are words for that.

There are no words for the video I'm about about to upload of me playing some hymn off a lead sheet, 99% of which consists of me cursing at the phone/camera and trying to find a place to put it.  I said some very bad things in that video, so now I have to find a way to edit video.

On CentOS 8.  For which there are probably about zero options in the regular repos.  As exciting as it is, I'm not bothering to build from source some little graphics tool, assuming I found one.

I don't even know what the tune was called, something some kid posted.  Something in Eb, had a strong II7 (V7/V7, or the secondary dominant, or whatever you want to call it) with the melody on the nine of that chord. 

I should be glad I'm allowed to do text:  videos is a bridge too far.

////////////////////


Oh, *** A, hell no.  Bullshit after waiting for imgur to upload am I trimming out the few extremely foul words at the beginning of my "video."

***. 

I'm sorry, people, but I'm not a goddamned cameraman!   Yeah, I know how to use a graycard and shoot film in eight mm, but I'll be fucked if I'll be buying tripods and sh*t for all this muppet gadgetry. 

Am sure as sh*t not buying another millionth Mac/PC and their ridiculous Cortanas and Edges or whatever just to have "snap-on" capabilities. 

Not for some dumbass video.  If you want the 800 MiB video, I'll e-mail it to you.  Lots of laughs, suckers.

ETAYeah, the way to do it is to use ffmpeg and specify which clock times you want preserved or excised.  There's also some GUI tool called "mkvtoolnix" out there, but I have no idea what that is or which libraries I'd need to use it.

[compline]

Hey Compline... you have stumbled into a thread that has been going on for years.

Like most of us - you learn to love each others foibles... especially J_Tours... although I think he really just needs therapy.

Yeah , and  don't I  know it.
It should be renamed, tongue in cheek  thread.
Folks letting their hair down, etc. etc.. I mean times are so stressful we need space to breathe and relax....   
 

[j_tour]

\
Folks letting their hair down, etc. etc.. I mean times are so stressful we need space to breathe and relax....   

Not it you bathe yourself in liquid metal.

[perfect_pitch]

The Terminator already showed us how to defeat a liquid metal android.

All you need is a foundry, and a can do attitude.

[j_tour]

The Terminator already showed us how to defeat a liquid metal android.

I AM MADE OF LIQUID METAL!

UNDEFEATED!

[perfect_pitch]

Well, then you're in for a treat.

Have some DUBSTEP!!!

It's like Heavy Metal on COCAINE!!!

[j_tour]

It's like Heavy Metal on COCAINE!!!

I don't like the way some of you people are so against cocaine use. 

Good for children, and brings youth to the old.

[perfect_pitch]

I don't like the way some of you people are so against cocaine use. 

Good for children, and brings youth to the old.

And illegal. There's a reason it's illegal. Have you SEEN photos of people before and after cocaine use???

It's like seeing Bozo the clown, and a year later he's turned into Pennywise.

[j_tour]

It's like seeing Bozo the clown, and a year later he's turned into Pennywise.

"Illegal"?  It's made of a fricking tree.  The bottle of Kilbeggan I bought for tomorrow had a little bag made of paper tied to it, I suppose in "honor" of St. Patrick or whatever.

I'll quote the label, "1.5 parts Kilbeggan Whiskey 1 TBSP brown sugar syrup (no meaning, just add some sugar and a bit of water, is what I suppose they mean) 3 parts "Roseline Oro brewed blend" (I guess that's what's in the bag....who know) Float lightly whipped heavy cream (easy enough) top with grated nutmeg (no, I'd rather not)."

It's like a recipe to make an old woman an alcoholic.

Yeah, well, I met a woman named Megan the other day, and I really hope she doesn't take offense at my not liking "grated nutmeg."  Beautiful reddish light hair, which she does in a braid, and very fair skin, and a very keen worker.

Shut up, I'm not bothering the help.  I think it wouldn't be inappropriate for me to ask of her her price per hour while she cleaned up around here a bit.

////////////////

EDIT

Oh, no, it's more like the following:  Megan's (I don't know how she spells it) a fine woman.  Goddammit stop it!  The worms in my ear are turning!