Last post wins!!!!!

[j_tour]

I have many snakes.  I think.  But I don't own them.  Or maybe I do.

One snake lives in my toilet on occasion. 

[perfect_pitch]

Well then you just haven't gone bush enough.

I love my creature comforts like TV, society, running water and not having to sh*t in an outhouse.

And not dying from the heat... so screw you. I haven't gone bush because it's a terrible, horrific environment.

[j_tour]

I love my creature comforts like TV, society, running water and not having to sh*t in an outhouse.

An outhouse?  Well aren't you fancy!

I bet you use one of those primitive iron-harped ivory-toothed enormities, though.  Instead of coming into the digital age.

With a keytar.

[perfect_pitch]

I'm still amazed you use a laptop as a coaster for your whisky.

That's a delicate, intricate machine with many tiny parts. She smallest drop of liquid could short out the RAM, bugger up the Motherboard, or even the CPU... and when that happens...

Oh wait, it's a Chrome book? Never mind... it's a coaster for your whisky.

[j_tour]

I'm still amazed you use a laptop as a coaster for your whisky.

That's a delicate, intricate machine with many tiny parts. She smallest drop of liquid could short out the RAM, bugger up the Motherboard, or even the CPU... and when that happens...

Oh wait, it's a Chrome book? Never mind... it's a coaster for your whisky.

See?  Even you can understand!

It's not actually "just" a Chromebook, but it is an older one that I've flashed the SOIC chip on that runs multiple variants of Linux on.  Nice roomy SSD swapped out in it.  It's fine.

It's more or less a TV for me. 

The keyboard still works, but is deteriorating.  But much less than the other identical model I did have to do the SOIC chip-clip hardware flash on.  That involves alligator clamps, and application of current.  Very exciting.

It's the pride of nerdery!  One forces things to function well beyond their expiration dates.

I'm still amazed you use a laptop as a coaster for your whisky.

And, actually, I'm not in the habit of spilling liquids.  Pants urination excepted.

There are things I allow myself to do that I'd not trust anybody else with. 

For example, don't even try flipping the LP if you don't know how to operate the turntable.

And, yes, you ***, I was born in the modern age.  Not that much older than you:  I just get older broads, it seems.

[perfect_pitch]

And, actually, I'm not in the habit of spilling liquids.  Pants urination excepted.

There are things I allow myself to do that I'd not trust anybody else with. 

For example, don't even try flipping the LP if you don't know how to operate the turntable.

And, yes, you ***, I was born in the modern age.  Not that much older than you:  I just get older broads, it seems.

While I don't know how old you are, your profile says 111 - which I suspect is wrong.

However, you do like movies from the 19-no-one-cares, so I suspect that you're maybe in your 80's (realistically).

[j_tour]

While I don't know how old you are, your profile says 111 - which I suspect is wrong.

However, you do like movies from the 19-no-one-cares, so I suspect that you're maybe in your 80's (realistically).

I don't know. 

I own a toilet snake?  And know how to use it?

All I care about is I entrap women in the 34-39 demographic without much deceit on my part.

Not often, but enough.

[perfect_pitch]

All I care about is I entrap women in the 34-39 demographic without much deceit on my part.

Using Chloroform doesn't count.

[j_tour]

Using Chloroform doesn't count.

I don't know what you're talking about.

A hot Cosby? 

Nah, I wouldn't worry about it.

[perfect_pitch]

This... stuff like this is why I think you're 93 years old. Starting at hot adverts from the 50's.

[j_tour]

This... stuff like this is why I think you're 93 years old. Starting at hot adverts from the 50's.

93 actually used to be an extremely filthy slang term, much like you children with your 69s and your 420s.
 
You don't even want to know what it means.

[perfect_pitch]

93 actually used to be an extremely filthy slang term, much like you children with your 69s and your 420s.
 
You don't even want to know what it means.

Well, everyone knows what 69 means, but I'm pretty sure you're full of it in regards to the other 2 numbers.

[j_tour]

Well, everyone knows what 69 means, but I'm pretty sure you're full of it in regards to the other 2 numbers.

420?  Are you kidding?

93?  No, obviously that has no secret meaning.  Sure.   

[perfect_pitch]

420?  Are you kidding?

93?  No, obviously that has no secret meaning.  Sure.   

I ain't googling that sh*t... on the off chance you're right.

[j_tour]

I ain't googling that sh*t... on the off chance you're right.

93 only has some meaning, maybe, to a numerologist or some sh*t.

420 has meaning to anyone who isn't a square.

[perfect_pitch]

93 only has some meaning, maybe, to a numerologist or some sh*t.

420 has meaning to anyone who isn't a square.

[j_tour]

It is NOT hip to be square.

You mean you're not rollin on dubs, trippin on fat blunts?

Dude, weird.

[perfect_pitch]

It is NOT hip to be square.

EXCUSE ME??? Did you not hear Huey??? He said its HIP to be square.

Never had a blunt in my life.

[j_tour]

EXCUSE ME??? Did you not hear Huey??? He said its HIP to be square.

Never had a blunt in my life.

Yeah, I know all about Huey.

(Actually, "The News" had and maybe still has a very good keyboard player:  I think he played one of the original Korg CX3s on some of those).

Man, it's not hip to be down on jazz cigarette reefers.

You don't have to partake, but you shouldn't harsh peoples' mellows, man!

Square, man!  Not hep.

TBH I don't regularly smoke mj myself, not for a long, long time, but when I do, it knocks me flat on my ass. 

[perfect_pitch]

Man, it's not hip to be down on jazz cigarette reefers.

You don't have to partake, but you shouldn't harsh peoples' mellows, man!

TBH I don't regularly smoke mj myself, not for a long, long time, but when I do, it knocks me flat on my ass.

Never smoked a MJ cigarette in my life...

Begs the question though - if we shouldn't be 'harshing peoples mellows' though, should we take the same stance on cannabis, crack cocaine, meth, speed, heroin???

Where should we draw the line... IF there is one?

[j_tour]

Never smoked a MJ cigarette in my life...

Begs the question though - if we shouldn't be 'harshing peoples mellows' though, should we take the same stance on cannabis, crack cocaine, meth, speed, heroin???

Where should we draw the line... IF there is one?

I don't know dude.  You're harshing my mellow, man. 

Are you a narc?

Begs the question though

I'm just going to leave that there and see if you can work out where you went wrong. 

[perfect_pitch]

I'm just going to leave that there and see if you can work out where you went wrong. 

Hard to work out where I went wrong, when I didn't go wrong.

Most drugs really f@#$ up the brain, and cause a lot of people to become addicted... and given the drop in moral happiness from COVID, lockdowns, inability to see loved ones internationally - the LAST thing we need is people turning to drugs.

[j_tour]

Hard to work out where I went wrong, when I didn't go wrong.

Most drugs really f@#$ up the brain, and cause a lot of people to become addicted... and given the drop in moral happiness from COVID, lockdowns, inability to see loved ones internationally - the LAST thing we need is people turning to drugs.

What is this, debate club?

Fine, lock up the miscreants or cane the sh*t out of them.  I don't care.

But you didn't use "begs the question" correctly.

So, sucks to be you! 

[perfect_pitch]

What is this, debate club?

Fine, lock up the miscreants or cane the sh*t out of them.  I don't care.

But you didn't use "begs the question" correctly.

Yes, I did. There is no problem with it...

Read it again:

Begs the question though - if we shouldn't be 'harshing peoples mellow', should we take the same stance on cannabis, crack cocaine, meth, speed, heroin???

How much Scotch have you had today?!?

[j_tour]

Yes, I did. There is no problem with it...

Read it again:

How much Scotch have you had today?!?

Begging the question == petitio principii.  Not simply "raising the question"

And I just woke up, so, you know, the usual amount.

You'll be happy to know my gal pal and I are no longer friendly, so you can do your happy dance.  Where there is no CV-19 and therefore no need for any additional concern about those nasty drugs.

[perfect_pitch]

Begging the question == petitio principii.  Not simply "raising the question"

So you're saying that there should be a discussion about why people SHOULD be allowed to take cannabis, crack cocaine, meth, speed, heroin???

[j_tour]

So you're saying that there should be a discussion about why people SHOULD be allowed to take cannabis, crack cocaine, meth, speed, heroin???

No.  I'm saying I don't care.

I want to talk about boobies.

But, one could try to disprove the contrapositive statement using formal predicate logic, I suppose.  That could be amusing.  However, it would probably have to use modal operators, which only mix with the universal and existential quantifiers in a somewhat tortuous manner.

So, I don't want to do that either.

[perfect_pitch]

I want to talk about boobies.

Let's do that... attached below is a STUNNING pair of boobies.





















































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































Absolutely amazing... beautiful pair.

[j_tour]

Let's do that... attached below is a STUNNING pair of boobies.

Stop that.

Sacha Baron Cohen is well pleased with himself.

[perfect_pitch]

I personally think Sacha Baron Cohen is a total idiot, with no talent whatsoever.

I'm sorry for tricking you J_Tour, I shouldn't have done that.

Let me get this thread back on track with a breathtaking image of a beautiful pair of tits:




























































































































MAGNIFICENT, aren't they. So plump.   

[j_tour]

I personally think Sacha Baron Cohen is a total idiot, with no talent whatsoever.

And yet Scottish born Australian actress Isla Fisher married him, and provides him exclusively with succor and comfort.

MAGNIFICENT, aren't they. So plump.   

They're OK.  I'll allow it.

[perfect_pitch]

They're OK.  I'll allow it.

They're 'OK' They're magnificent... have you ever seen a more spectacular pair of tits???

 

(Don't you just love wordplay)

[j_tour]

(Don't you just love wordplay)

No.

I love Wesley Willis and not being constipated, in that order. 

I also love women who aren't all up in my grill, fussing and hollering.

Their magnificent...

I'm just going to leave that there and see if you can work out where you went wrong.

[perfect_pitch]

Don't you just love that you can fake pretty much anything...

Also Perfect_Pitch really is the winner of this thread.

Awwww... thanks man.   

[j_tour]

Awwww... thanks man.   

Did you know...........................rotational force.........small omega.........angle......cosine.......

Nevermind.

I'm batman.

BATMAN!

[perfect_pitch]

Yeah - no offense, but I wasn't stupid enough to click that. I know you've been parading about that whooping Batmans arse by whatshisface... willis wembly or something???

I can spot a fake link when I see it.

This is the real Batman:

[j_tour]

Yeah - no offense, but I wasn't stupid enough to click that. I know you've been parading about that whooping Batmans arse by whatshisface... willis wembly or something???

That's no batman.

That's some dork in a rubber gimp suit.

[perfect_pitch]

You're right...

That IS a dork in a rubber Gimp suit.

Christian Bale is Batman. There is no other.

[j_tour]

Christian Bale is Batman. There is no other.

Whatever, dweeb.    OK, so your favorite limey put on the gimp suit.

You don't even know what kind of day I had.  Drop the car off for deep cycle battery test — more than I can do with a multimeter — and got stranded at the nearest bar after those mofos closed.

I had a spare house key (because I gave them my whole keychain, including my mailbox key and all that sh*t), but those roostereaters are closed tomorrow, which here is Sunday.

I don't know what that's about, but I guess I'm glad I had the rosary hung around the rearview mirror.

Monday??  Earliest I can get my vehicle back?  Yeah, I guess.  Stupid roostereating limey bastards.

Well, I guess I did kick some ass at pool while waiting.  And, it's true:  9-ball is a great game for playing with three or more people.

[perfect_pitch]

Whatever, dweeb.    OK, so your favorite limey put on the gimp suit.

You don't even know what kind of day I had.  Drop the car off for deep cycle battery test — more than I can do with a multimeter — and got stranded at the nearest bar after those mofos closed.

I had a spare house key (because I gave them my whole keychain, including my mailbox key and all that sh*t), but those cocksuckers are closed tomorrow, which here is Sunday.

I don't know what that's about, but I guess I'm glad I had the rosary hung around the rearview mirror.

Monday??  Earliest I can get my vehicle back?  Yeah, I guess.  Stupid cocksucking limey bastards.

Well, I guess I did kick some ass at pool while waiting.  And, it's true:  9-ball is a great game for playing with three or more people.

Well, I've spent most of the day playing Doom Eternal, so I have no sympathy for you whatsoever.

I've been dealing with demonic monsters.

[j_tour]

Well, I've spent most of the day playing Doom Eternal, so I have no sympathy for you whatsoever.

I've been dealing with demonic monsters.

Oh yeah?  Well what you got in that case there, boy?

That's right, as I've noted elsewhere, your entire game's title comes from a movie about playing pool.

[perfect_pitch]

Gotta admit... Video games are a BILLION dollar industry. They're getting to the stage where they are starting to create masterpieces in digital form that you can control, unlike Movies and TV shows.

There's something nice about you being in control of every piece of action and reacting to it in real time.

Also, doesn't this guy look freaking awesome???



If you guys haven't played Red Dead Redemption, then you are seriously missing out. One of the greatest games to this day.

[j_tour]

Gotta admit... Video games are a BILLION dollar industry. They're getting to the stage where they are starting to create masterpieces in digital form that you can control, unlike Movies and TV shows.

Yeah, I've noticed.  Game development has its positives (using C++ and C for performance), and its negatives (flooding the market with C++/C developers).

Like little "choose your own adventure" books to get kids hooked on reading.

Still, the title "Doom" came from a line in a movie about a real game, namely pool.  I'll also admit snooker and three-cushion billiards into that category as well.

Cue "sports," (hey, if golf is considered a sport, then why not cue games?), gin rummy, contract bridge, chess:  those are games.

If you guys haven't played Red Dead Redemption, then you are seriously missing out. One of the greatest games to this day.

Yeah, I mean, I've played some Metal Gear Solid like fifteen years ago.

But if I can't easily play it on a Linux machine with a integrated graphics, fairly low-spec, I'm not interested in making the effort.  I do have a machine with Win10 on it, but I prefer to only use that when necessary.

/* EDIT Here you can do your happy dance, since while I was waiting for a cab last evening, I fairly expertly tried to intromit with a lone female sitting outside.....who after a few moments suddenly decided she had to go elsewhere.  No, that's not cause for a happy dance:  I wasn't really expecting anything, just was disgusted by the rest of the company, and she seemed adequate for my purposes.

And, yes, I'll post this once more:

*/

[perfect_pitch]

I'll admit, I've never seen the Doom movie with Tom Cruise...

Looks a LOT better than the recent Doom Video game movies... the one with Dwayne Johnson was just AWFUL!!!

[j_tour]

I'll admit, I've never seen the Doom movie with Tom Cruise...

Tom Cruise doesn't take his shirt off like in Top Gun, so it might not be for you.

It is a very good movie, however.

[perfect_pitch]

Tom Cruise doesn't take his shirt off like in Top Gun

You had me at 'Tom Cruise DOESN'T take his shirt off'. I personally thought Top Gun SUCKED!!!

Finally, a movie where he acts like a sensible human being... presumably. I take it this movie is before he went weird and believed in that Scientology shite?

[j_tour]

I take it this movie is before he went weird and believed in that Scientology shite?

That's the one with the space aliens and the shirtless volleyball tournament?

Yeah, I guess.

[perfect_pitch]

That's the one with the space aliens and the shirtless volleyball tournament?

There's space aliens??? You're not thinking of Independence day???

Oh wait - most of Tom Cruise's movies have aliens... because he *** well believes in them.

Fruitcake...

[j_tour]

There's space aliens??? You're not thinking of Independence day???

No.  Clearly the following movie, one of the finest efforts to make it to the silver screen.

[perfect_pitch]

Ahhh... Battlefield Earth - one of the WORST movies ever made, and deservedly so.

Almost as bad as this movie:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0448011/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_52

I think it's this point where Nicolas Cage's career began to hit the crapper and he started doing any ol' sh*t.