Last post wins!!!!!

[perfect_pitch]

No idea who that is... nor do I care. I just finished watching Parks & Recreation for the first time, and my god did the Ron Swanson character give me a massive chuckle multiple times throughout.



Now em's words to live by.

[j_tour]

No idea who that is... nor do I care. I just finished watching Parks & Recreation for the first time, and my god did the Ron Swanson character give me a massive chuckle multiple times throughout.

I think I saw an episode of that once.  Or part of one.  It had some chubby dude with a  scraggly little rat beard strumming a guitar at an old folks' home or something and that lady comedian who's done some funny stuff.  I think the guitar boy fell off a cliff or something and broke his head or leg or something.

According to the internet, the Ron Swanson character supposedly likes Scotch whiskies of whatever varieties.

Which is fine. 

If one is ignorant of the equally fine products of Ireland.   

[perfect_pitch]

I think I saw an episode of that once.  Or part of one.  It had some chubby dude with a  scraggly little rat beard strumming a guitar at an old folks' home or something and that lady comedian who's done some funny stuff.  I think the guitar boy fell off a cliff or something and broke his head or leg or something.

Good to see you were paying attention to the plot, or storyline, or something.

According to the internet, the Ron Swanson character supposedly likes Scotch whiskies of whatever varieties.

Which is fine. 

If one is ignorant of the equally fine products of Ireland.   

One isn't ignorant... they just know the quality of Scotch Whisky is superior.

[j_tour]

Good to see you were paying attention to the plot, or storyline, or something.

Eh, I got the basics of it.  Bunch of idiots running around doing stuff, I think.

One isn't ignorant... they just know the quality of Scotch Whisky is superior.

It can be allowed to exist alongside the better Irishes.

[perfect_pitch]

Eh, I got the basics of it.  Bunch of idiots running around doing stuff, I think.

Isn't that most of the TV shows these days? One could almost say Seinfeld fell into that category... but god damn, it was GOLD, JERRY... GOLD!

It can be allowed to exist alongside the better Irishes.

Of course it can... Irish Whisky helps remind people what makes the Scotch whisky so great.

Actually, Irish isn't that bad. Tried a Peanut Butter Whiskey once... Sheep Dog brand - ABSOLUTELY *** DISGUSTING.

Didn't even taste like peanut butter... tasted more like sickly sweet caramel.

[j_tour]

Tried a Peanut Butter Whiskey once...

Why would one try that? 

There are terrible people out there who do awful things to satisfy some imagined urge of a niche public.

Like manufacturers of riding crops, ball gags, and animal costumes.

At least I'd wager you don't have to contend with such horrors as chile-infused tequilas, nor much of the tequila fad in itself.

Cactus whiskey can be palatable, but it is generally an abomination created by clever people making use of materials at hand.

[perfect_pitch]

Why would one try that? 

One was curious. I've tried to many normal whiskies, that I wanted to give my palate something interesting to try. I've had dozens of whisky brands over the years... why not try something different.

Tequila??? Hell no - nor vodka.

Cactus whiskey can be palatable, but it is generally an abomination created by clever people making use of materials at hand.

Wow... that sounds... absolutely bloody terrible.

[j_tour]

Wow... that sounds... absolutely bloody terrible.

"Cactus whiskey" is an old-timey slang for tequila (or mezcal).

People have said it at least one time in movies, although probably before the year 2000.

Tequila??? Hell no - nor vodka.

You know if there were nothing else around you'd be lapping that up like a pussy cat.

Chilled filtered vodka, is not so bad....and indeed when infused with turkinpippuri becomes an excellent drink.

Almost black in color, it is Finnish salted licorice dissolved into vodka.

Not terribly good for you, arguably, to consume all that much ammonium chloride in one sitting, but I find it a worthwhile drink.

I will grant that even the better of the tequilas have an odor and aftertaste that is....not to my liking, anyway.  Perhaps it is an acquired taste, but I find it a foolish little beverage.

[perfect_pitch]

I'm trying to minimise how much alcohol I drink at home... to almost nothing. Sure, I'll drink with friends out at restaurants, but I'm trying to cut down.

It really... really... sucks trying to be healthy.

[j_tour]

I'm trying to minimise how much alcohol I drink at home... to almost nothing. Sure, I'll drink with friends out at restaurants, but I'm trying to cut down.

Good.  Ethanol is by definition toxic.  And it will help you trim down some of that spare tire around your gut, so you can give yourself a b...... a beach bod!

[perfect_pitch]

Good.  Ethanol is by definition toxic.  And it will help you trim down some of that spare tire around your gut, so you can give yourself a b......

Funny... I don't even think contortionists are THAT flexible.

[j_tour]

Funny... I don't even think contortionists are THAT flexible.

I forgot....you might have to have a rib removed, just like Marilyn Manson did.

[perfect_pitch]

I forgot....you might have to have a rib removed, just like Marilyn Manson did.

You don't honestly believe that bollocks... do you? It's a piece of fiction that it happened.

[lostinidlewonder]

Ribs?

[perfect_pitch]

That movie has NOT aged well. Tried watching the Austin Power Trilogy a few years back... I just couldn't do it. I could feel my brain melting and want to exit through my nostrils.

What would you consider a movie that has definitely not aged well; as well as a classic that has???

[j_tour]

Body shaming is not cool.

People come in all shapes and sizes, and we love each and every one of them equally.

Don't we?

That's right.

You don't honestly believe that bollocks... do you? It's a piece of fiction that it happened.

No, I had it wrong.  It was actually David Bowie.  I get them mixed up in pop music all the time.

[perfect_pitch]

Body shaming is not cool.

People come in all shapes and sizes, and we love each and every one of them equally.

Don't we?

Actually, I don't.



I believe the pendulum has swung too far the wrong way now. We've had fat acceptance for years now and the media has glorified obese models for too long now.

I'm not against someone wanting to be fat as their body is their choice, but just as other people who love them and care for their friends and family should be able to criticise them for their choices as they don't want to see their loved ones die prematurely from a number of rather avoidable afflictions (heart attack, stroke, aneurysm, diabetes).

Sometimes caring is saying what needs to be said... even if it's hurtful. Why should we promote gluttony, slovenliness and laziness?

Let me be clear though - I'm not saying absolutely everyone should be in peak physical condition - we all have a couple of kilos here or there from time to time that we wish we could shed... but the people who weigh 700 pounds and expect to pay the same price for an airline ticket despite taking up 3 seats instead of one because of their life choices??? There are people who have been bumped off their booked plane rides because some airlines have to accommodate these overly obese people.

[j_tour]

Well, anything Ricky Gervais or Josh Rogan or some tankie dudebros say must be worth noting.

Those fat loads talk a good game, though, for their cultist audiences.  Sorry, I can't watch even a clip of Gervais.  He looks like a fat kid trying to grow its first beard.  Good thing he used to be mildly amusing, because otherwise he'd be shining my shoes.

However, it is possibly true that only fat women can be fat.

A bit of middle-aged spread in a man is not necessarily a bad thing.  I can tell you in that I need to drop ten pounds in the imperial system of measurements and will do so statim.

Vide Col. Rex Applegate, a pioneer in close-fighting technique and particularly the point-shoot technique with a sidearm.

[perfect_pitch]

That doesn't seem right... in a world of political correctness, Gervais is a breath of fresh air. Haven't really listened to Josh Rogan to be honest - so I can't say anything about him.

And yeah, his last stand-up comedy was dreadful. I miss the old days of Fame, Animals & Politics - they were absolute BANGERS!!!

I remember practically crying from laughter and having stomach cramps from laughing too hard.

[j_tour]

Whatever.  He's a rube and his contrarian "hot takes" are stale, reactionary, and predictable.

He's also a fat load.  He might pass as a radio blowhard wanker, for hillbillies, but I can't stand the sight of him.

One of those people you just instinctively feel like punching in the face. 

By no means is he alone among that large group, however. 

We're not talking about national heroes like Paul Hogan or Scott Morrison, either.  Obviously those are untouchable fonts of wisdom from whom we seek wisdom daily. 

But Gervais?  Meh.  He had his time.  He should bugger off and go on to some yankee tankie ultra radio station and ply his wares.

BTW, did you know that Latin is actually spoken in Latin America?

It's true.

No, it's not, but I just wanted to show off my new pocket-carry handgun.  Ruger MAX 9.  It's an ugly POS plastic junk, but after taking it apart, cleaning it, lubing it....it's still a piece of plastic junk.

No, I do not carry it regularly in a holster, concealed, although I shall have my license in hand by the end of the month.  It merely simplifies things to have a record that one is qualified by training by the state to carry a handgun, even if one does not wish to carry a handgun everywhere.  And despite rumors or whatever people overseas may have heard, as I said, no, one cannot just walk into a random shop and buy a handgun.  Nor a rifle nor a shotgun.  There's an extensive records search, and, if the federally licensed dealer doesn't like your cologne that day or thinks you might be "off," he or she can just say "no, not to you." 

I'm frightened actually that some rube or soccer mom or furry or whatever could be "accidentally" putting a 9mm round anywhere from his or her or its purse.  Yes, there are deep background checks required to purchase a handgun in the US....be not a criminal, be not a wifebeater, be not a druggie, be not mental, and all that, fingerprinted, all that...but still.

Compared to my much larger, all-steel 1911-format 9mm, this thing is like a toy and I suspect many people might be inclined to treat this sidearm as such. 

Which is dull and ignorant, but one knows people and the depths of their depravity or ignorance.

[perfect_pitch]

We're not talking about national heroes like Paul Hogan or Scott Morrison, either.  Obviously those are untouchable fonts of wisdom from whom we seek wisdom daily. 

You seriously need better role models.

[j_tour]

I am not fooling around, son.

Don't make me go four-lingual dictionary on you!

Wasn't there something about music and pianos somewhere or other?

Yeah, well, I'm hung like Sviastoslav Richter with my Mossberg shotgun right now.  Eat lead, vaqueros!   

(No, I'm far too lazy to fill cartridges with large chunks of salt for deterrence purposes and recrimp them, so buck is all you get in double-ought.  Actually, that one is filled with snap-cartridges for dry-firing at home while I'm disassembling it and giving her a good lubrication inside and out.  I've never fired a 12 gauge outside of a range or a well-surveyed plot on public land with a firm, natural backstop.  And, yes, you absolutely do have to aim a shotgun, if you want to hit anything.)

[perfect_pitch]

Actually, that one is filled with snap-cartridges for dry-firing at home while I'm disassembling it and giving her a good lubrication inside and out.

Your shotgun has a gender??? That raises even more questions... very disturbing questions.

Have you named it? Does Shelley like blowing her load all over someone’s face when an intruder enters your house???

[j_tour]

Have you named it? Does Shelley like blowing her load all over someone’s face when an intruder enters your house???

Don't be daft. 

The spread is comfortably within about three inches from roughly ten to twenty meters away.

And I don't have to choke her barrel at the muzzle to get that, either. 

Plus I hardly ever shoot, which she appreciates, and spend more time lubricating from the breach to the firing plate.

Using oil.

Geezus *** christ, you turn everything into some kind of a sexual metaphor!

Maybe you missed your calling as a Delta blues musician.  "Dust my broom," "Start my car," and all those kind of crude analogies for F. N. Gals, Esq.

Angus or Malcolm (RIP) could have had a go of it when they were younger or alive, respectively.  And, as Angus once supposedly said, "Critics say AC/DC have twenty-five songs, and they all sound the same.  Nonsense!  We have twenty-six songs and they all sound the same."

[perfect_pitch]

You're not a bad chap... maybe someday we'll meet in person and have a bloody laugh over a few beers.

I doubt it will be anytime soon, only because the hairpiece ruling America is a sycophantic tyrant and it sounds like America is on its way to becoming a third-world country.

[eee-_-]

Actually, I don't.

 
yeah i agree , normalizing that is actually bad for society cuz obesity is an actual disease .

[j_tour]

I doubt it will be anytime soon, only because the hairpiece ruling America is a sycophantic tyrant and it sounds like America is on its way to becoming a third-world country.

Damned right it is.  My passport is current, my criminal record is non-existent, and I'm armed like a good little American.  (Yes, I know, but believe it or not, safety is absolutely my priority when handling any firearm, loaded or not....my own safety and anyone else's with the very rare exception of some kind of freak event....I just like fiddling around with firearms and target shooting....maybe it's a mid-life crisis kind of thing!)  Just tools which have various uses:  some derelict and irresponsible, but some licit and worthwhile.

Not that it's especially relevant, but I do happen to lean fairly extremely towards the socialist side of the left, politically.  I admit to being somewhat culturally conservative, although tolerant of the peccadilloes of the latest, younger generations.

Not "their" popular music though.  I find it ghastly and intolerable.

You're not a bad chap... maybe someday we'll meet in person and have a bloody laugh over a few beers.

Thank you!  You amuse me as well, although you could probably smoke me in terms of piano chops.  That would be a good hang:  get some music happening, plenty of libations, and of course naked wrestling as in the movie Women in Love.  One of my aspirations is to visit Australia, but it's just not in the cards for the foreseeable future.  In addition, it's kind of far away from the west coast of the US, as I'm sure you're aware.

And I wake up in terror often at the notion of drop bears accosting me.

 
yeah i agree , normalizing that is actually bad for society cuz obesity is an actual disease .

Out of the mouths of babes! 

Yes, I agree with your agreement! 

While I'm sure that the obese or severely overweight face significant psychological challenges that must be overcome, it is a kind of grievous situation.

And by no means limited to the US, in as much as one likes to make an easy snipe at the stereotype of the "people of Walmart (a popular large general-purpose store)" using scooters inside to manoeuvre for want of ability to ambulate.

You know, eee-_-, I take back some of the things I said about you!  You're OK!

(A joke I ripped off from the movie Ghostbusters...I don't think I've ever insulted you!  You're a wise and considerate young man.  As far as you know.   )

[perfect_pitch]

...and of course naked wrestling as in the movie Women in Love

I don't think you could get me THAT drunk in order to do that. Sorry...

And I wake up in terror often at the notion of drop bears accosting me.

Just ALWAYS carry a 6 pack of beer with you WHEREVER you go, to appease them. This will calm them down.

[j_tour]

I don't think you could get me THAT drunk in order to do that. Sorry...

OK.  Fine. 

But I'm not wearing the dog costume this time.  It stinks in there, and is damp.

Just ALWAYS carry a 6 pack of beer with you WHEREVER you go, to appease them. This will calm them down.

No can do.  I'd be forced to drink it. 

Perhaps they could be distracted if I threw an empty beer can off into the underbrush somewhere.

Drop bears don't seem very bright, for all of their bloodlust and cunning.

[perfect_pitch]

Perhaps they could be distracted if I threw an empty beer can off into the underbrush somewhere.

Drop bears don't seem very bright, for all of their bloodlust and cunning

You can try, but many tourists underestimate their cunning and intelligence. That's why so many tourists go missing out here in Australia.

[j_tour]

You can try, but many tourists underestimate their cunning and intelligence. That's why so many tourists go missing out here in Australia.

Likely none of the bloody poms were carrying so much as a proper knife when they went bush and met their fate.

[perfect_pitch]

Likely none of the bloody poms were carrying so much as a proper knife when they went bush and met their fate.

Somehow I feel you're trying to segue into a Crocodile Dundee reference...

I'm not going to allow it.

[j_tour]

Somehow I feel you're trying to segue into a Crocodile Dundee reference...

No.  The mere suggestion was enough.

You really have strong feelings about the achievements of Mr. Hogan, and the glory he has brought to that rock down under.

I bet he looks good without his shirt on, given his age, but imagine how he'd fare instead in a kangaroo costume, hopping around in the surf, as furries would.

That moist furry otherkin suit of a kangaroo.

Oral cavity dripping with beer foam and the entire mass reeking of decaying prawns. 

[perfect_pitch]

No.  The mere suggestion was enough.

Maybe, but I knew you couldn't stand not to put in a reference to his work.

You really have strong feelings about the achievements of Mr. Hogan, and the glory he has brought to that rock down under.

I bet he looks good without his shirt on, given his age, but imagine how he'd fare instead in a kangaroo costume, hopping around in the surf, as furries would.

That moist furry otherkin suit of a kangaroo.

Oral cavity dripping with beer foam and the entire mass reeking of decaying prawns.

Well, we now have AI, so I'm sure somewhere computers can generate that sort of video - if that's your thing.

It's definitely not mine... I might see how Grok is doing and see if I can get it to de-clothe Jessica Alba or something...

[j_tour]

Maybe, but I knew you couldn't stand not to put in a reference to his work.

Wow.  Legitimizing the achievements of Australia's finest citizen by calling his output "work."

Well, we now have AI, so I'm sure somewhere computers can generate that sort of video - if that's your thing.

No, has to be a real furry. 

I can't emphasize enough how important real mystery stains and burnt patches about the exterior and interior of the furry costume are.

Then I must hunt it for sport, and mount it.  Just as I did to the Linda Hamilton specimen.

[perfect_pitch]

Wow.  Legitimizing the achievements of Australia's finest citizen by calling his output "work."

That was me being kind... he was an arrogant tax-dodger who eventually was disgraced when people found out.

Calling him Australia's finest citizen is an INSULT.

Hugh Jackman clearly is the greatest citizen of Australia.

[j_tour]

Calling him Australia's finest citizen is an INSULT.

I'd no idea.

Hugh Jackman clearly is the greatest citizen of Australia.

So you like them to resemble animals in some way...like wolverines or whatever.

Hmmm...

If only there were some hep young children who knew what it smelled like inside those fur suits of unknown substances.

To reassert my dominance, I shall entertain any comments on my latest venture.

In which I should "compose" on a postcard using about  7cm x 10cm of space a superimposed themes using a rubber stamp and ink pad I have which enables one to easily imprint staff lines on a piece of paper.

Which, if you don't have one, I find is fairly handy....yes, one is used to just scrawling out five roughly parallel lines and a clef and key signature, but this is somewhat convenient, especially for "publication."

Meh, I was thinking about just compiling key phrases from the most hateful songs (with lyrics or with implied text) and putting it all together in staves, standard notation, probably put it all in one tonic key, I guess.

No, she'd not be able to read it, but any musician would.  And there would be my masterpiece.

Gone, like tears in the rain.

Sort of Charles Ives, Rzewski, and madness.  Things like "Die holle Rache" up in the G clef with the Dies Irae voicings nicked from Brahms and down low the tune "pregnant dog" from the Rolling Stones.

All at one time, and not necessarily in the grand staff....lots of ledger lines or 8va/b...have to play with it using pencil and paper.

Hell.  Have one of the kids do it with their playschool computer gadgets.

It would be unplayable, but I still would have to figure out the sounds in front of the piano.  Or could "write" it in three staves for organ.  Unclear the sound nor presentation.  Grand staff, most flexible, but then I would have to actually make the thing sound like something, instead of incoherent rambling in standard notation.

[perfect_pitch]

If only there were some hep young children who knew what it smelled like inside those fur suits of unknown substances.

Given how much brain rot is out there in the world... somehow I think there are a few who are just a small step away from trying it. Maybe there are even TikToks about people in furry costumes.

This world is going to hell in a handbasket...

[j_tour]

Maybe there are even TikToks about people in furry costumes.

Do it.  Venture into the soil.

Isn't that where Mad Max came from or whatever?

Oh here's my latest draft of my new composition.  I think it's really going to be beautiful, or something.

Oh, I remember....I was trying to figure out the neuma notation.  It's clever and compact and one doesn't really need to know much to read it....just intervallic relations and no leaps over a major third degree....near as I can tell.  And the clef(s) do the same as the G, F,  or the C clef./font]



To cleanse the palate:

[perfect_pitch]

GOD DAMN YOU... It was a mere 10 seconds in before I questioned the validity of the advert and realised it was a Wesley Willis mashup...

DAMN YOU...

[j_tour]

GOD DAMN YOU... It was a mere 10 seconds in before I questioned the validity of the advert and realised it was a Wesley Willis mashup...

Well, if you knew WW's work, you'd have recognized by the title that it was one of his, and not whatever thing you thought it was.

Good. 

The magic of the clown inspired your deeds.  You touched the clown.  And of your own concupiscence, no less. 

[perfect_pitch]

Well, if you knew WW's work, you'd have recognized by the title that it was one of his, and not whatever thing you thought it was.

The magic of the clown inspired your deeds.  You touched the clown.  And of your own concupiscence, no less.

I'd say the clown touched me... now I need therapy; that or just drown my thoughts in half a bottle of scotch.

I think the second option is cheaper.

[j_tour]

I'd say the clown touched me... now I need therapy; that or just drown my thoughts in half a bottle of scotch.

I think the second option is cheaper.

You touched the clown.

You touched it and made it play for you.

It's sick, and I cannot approve.

You don't touch the clown.

Even the kids, they'll you that.  Ask anyone. 

It was a bad call.

I would like to poll the audience, however, in a more "serious" manner and query them as to what they use as scratch paper when jotting down ideas in standard notation.

Yeah, I use the spiral-bound 12-stave notebooks, but it somehow seems like I'm not getting the best value, since I like to jot notes in musical notation rather copiously.  Those notebooks top out at around 96 pages or so.  They aren't expensive, but I do have a bit of Scottish blood in me from my father's mother's mother, so I try to be frugal.

Therefore, I make an inquiry.

[perfect_pitch]

Even the kids, they'll you that.

Brain fart??? And let's be honest - I didn't touch the clown; he touched me... the creepy prick.

I've never liked clowns. Again, to me - they're like furries. They dress up in an attempt to disguise who they are, usually going about trying to appeal to kids and make them laugh (look at game mascots).

[j_tour]

I've never liked clowns.

And yet you touched it.

Again, to me - they're like furries.

Not really.  Clowns have a purpose, and have for many centuries in Western civilization.

Furries are just maladapted freaks.

But enough of all this hate speech and cyber-bullying.

[perfect_pitch]

Clowns may have HAD a purpose... so did sacrificial virgins, yet we don't do that any more.

I think clowns aren't really needed in society any more.

[j_tour]

Clowns may have HAD a purpose... so did sacrificial virgins, yet we don't do that any more.

I want a sacrificial virgin.  Sounds like fun.  They seem the most hygienic.

[perfect_pitch]

Emus??? They're *** pussies compared to the drop bears.

All you do is wring their scrawny necks and they're done for.

[j_tour]

All you do is wring their scrawny necks and they're done for.

Get a blood draw and test before and after going bush.

The so-called "drop" bears (ursinus iratus menziesii) will attempt to mate with humans when they first drop from their perches, and they are known carriers of many diseases whose consequences are undesirable.

[perfect_pitch]

It's *** sad that our society leaned into this sad myth for a while...