Feeling depressed

[graceandbeauty]

So, I am a 15 year old pianist hoping to enter a career in Music. I want to be a great pianist but I am currently not in lessons.... I just finished a piece (Not classical) that I am proud of and that I know really increased my abilities! But now I am looking for something new to start. I want a challenge but not something that I will just give up. Because that happens sometimes when I am not in lessons. I have played many pieces but not mastered many and then found that I learned a piece incorrectly and I HATE re learning music after it is virtually MEMORIZED the wrong way! So now I am in a funk I am considering going into a music program but my Theory SUCKS like really bad! Like I can play as many scales as I can count on a single hand! I barely understand how to count. I can count like 4/4 time and 3/4 but I tried Clair de Lune and 7/8 time threw me through a loop. So yah I really don't feel like embarrassing myself. Do you know of any good theory books to work on? The worst part is I have been playing piano for like 8 years!  But my piano lessons have been spastic and teaching yourself at 11 can cause trouble. I have had maybe 4.5 years of lessons of those years. I learn fast and all but I feel overwhelmed by all I do not know. Also to those of you who like bragging over the internet... This is directed at the older beginner. Teaching your self at 30 isn't anything like teaching your self at 11... It just isn't this is part of the reason I am not all that great at the piano.  K soooo sorry for ranting... I am just a little depressed and angry. Any advice is welcome or you can ignore my post. Its your call.
GraceandBeauty

[hfmadopter]

Well, you have something about your piano and music background which is weak and you feel badly about that. It's making you feel depressed but the good news is you also know what the weakness is.  Now you just have to address that situation ! I think that's all perfectly understandable and it may even be the root to why you drop some pieces that you actually want to learn on your own.

I'll let others suggest how to go about learning the theory on your own, just leave it at you know the cause and go address it ! I suggest that if you are thinking about a summer program anyway, make that a theory program if you can find one..

[asiantraveller101]

So, I am a 15 year old pianist hoping to enter a career in Music. I want to be a great pianist but I am currently not in lessons.... I just finished a piece (Not classical) that I am proud of and that I know really increased my abilities! But now I am looking for something new to start. I want a challenge but not something that I will just give up. Because that happens sometimes when I am not in lessons. I have played many pieces but not mastered many and then found that I learned a piece incorrectly and I HATE re learning music after it is virtually MEMORIZED the wrong way! So now I am in a funk I am considering going into a music program but my Theory SUCKS like really bad! Like I can play as many scales as I can count on a single hand! I barely understand how to count. I can count like 4/4 time and 3/4 but I tried Clair de Lune and 7/8 time threw me through a loop. So yah I really don't feel like embarrassing myself. Do you know of any good theory books to work on? The worst part is I have been playing piano for like 8 years!  But my piano lessons have been spastic and teaching yourself at 11 can cause trouble. I have had maybe 4.5 years of lessons of those years. I learn fast and all but I feel overwhelmed by all I do not know. Also to those of you who like bragging over the internet... This is directed at the older beginner. Teaching your self at 30 isn't anything like teaching your self at 11... It just isn't this is part of the reason I am not all that great at the piano.  K soooo sorry for ranting... I am just a little depressed and angry. Any advice is welcome or you can ignore my post. Its your call.
GraceandBeauty

GraceandBeauty, are you being truthful to your own expectations and the reality of the matter? You are 15 and you say you "want to be a great pianist." Yet, you have have so much to learn. By your own admission, you cannot tackle Clair de Lune, you are weak in theory and in your own words "I am not all that great at the piano." I think you are not being realistic. You need to look at your own ability and your ambition. Do they match?
Let me give you an analogy: Let's say I wish to be a dancer (which actually was my childhood dream). I have only taken some classes periodically over the years. I can only do certain steps and definitely suck at ballet. Now I am at a crossroads. I am in high school and I have to decide to major or focus on something for my career. Would it be wise for me to still hold adamantly to my idea of becoming a dancer? Or should I choose something else that requires less year of training and learning?
I wish you well.

[graceandbeauty]

Well, I love music with all my heart but I myself did not think I could become a professional Pianist. It wasn't until about a year ago that my teacher asked if I was considering Majoring in Music. I had thought of it briefly but never thought I would be good enough. My Oberlin Graduate teacher thought I could though. She started training and having me work on pieces I could preform for auditions. But because of monetary issues I am not in piano lessons for the moment. That alone is depressing. I could h ave tackled Clair de Lune years ago with my teacher but without... I do not know. I was especially frustrated when I wrote that last post... I am curently working on Chopin's Nocturne in E flat Major. It is going VERY well and I am pleased but I constantly doubt myself. I look to make my playing better but always have the impression I am missing so much. I can count. Its true 7/8 was really tough but more than anything I do not really enjoy playing Clair de Lune.  Thanks for the Help everyone Asiantraveller101 I would not say you encouraged me  but I get where you are coming from. By myself I do not think I could measure up but other people who are experienced believe in me so that helps me believe in myself. I trust my Teacher she got her Masters in Piano/Pedagogy from Oberlin and taught Piano majors and Flute Minors as an Adjunct prof for 17 years.

[faa2010]

Hi, I can understand how you feel because yesterday I was very frustrated.  Maybe is not your "fate", maybe it is, but one of the most important things is to know what you really want in this moment and don't give up.

I will be 28 on September, and I have played piano for more than 10 years.  I did also an admission exam this year, but I didn't pass it and my grade wasn't so good.

I can tell you which were the factors of why I didn't pass but there are many. However, one of them is that I need to work harder and know how to improve my technique's faults.  

Thanks to this exam, I became aware of my faults and I am looking for an way to play better, to obtain the level I should have according to the years I have taken piano classes. This is my current goal right now, so I won't feel embarrassed when someone asks me.

To tell you the truth, I am also not sure if I can become a professional, specially due to my age, however, I always seek people, books, events, exams or workshops which can give me the chance to grow up. Some have cost (even expensive) but others are for free.

Just don't put all the eggs in only one basket. Think in other career or job opportunities which can sustain you in case there is a problem with your career as pianist.

[graceandbeauty]

I intend to go into music but not necessarily as a Concert Pianist I instead want to teach! I still want to be the very best pianist I can be regardless.