My issue is that deep down I would love to be able to play in front of people.
Last time I posted about this, I gratefully received plenty of practical advice. One thing that was suggested was that I play infront of people more regularly in order to get used to being observed.
I would just like to feel relatively confident to play in front of people I know
Don't you want to take a leap of faith?Or become an old man, filled with regret, waiting to die alone...
I understood that, thank you. The question was: Why do you want to play for people? Do you feel you have something to say that way that you cannot say in other ways? Do you expect a kind of recognition that you cannot get otherwise? Can you define exactly what it would add to your life if you would be able to do that? The answer to that question determines to a great extent how far you should go in trying to solve this problem. If you cannot give that answer here, answer those questions at least for yourself.
@ muleskiYou should stop this revenge thing immediately. It's over, it's in the past. It's old pain that should not confuse the present joy you can have from the instrument and the music. If you are brave enough to talk about it the way you do here, then there is hope for you, but since you are not Charles Bronson, your revenge will only work against you.Instead, you should concentrate on the POSITIVE things the music and the instrument can bring. Touch the instrument with your fingertips with a loving care. Close your eyes if you dare, and listen to that wonderful sound. Cry if necessary. Don't do to yourself what you have been doing.A "performance coach" sounds expensive, but it's just a word. It may be a usual person, a friend, not a professional pianist, not necessarily paid, who knows about your history and who is able to think out of the box.
Charles Bronson? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Bronson_(prisoner)A man who clearly knows about revenge.
[...](you trust them enough to tell them this is an experiment from a crazy Spanish pianist).[...]
Muleski we are here to help it's what the forum is about. Far more helpful posters here than hurt or hateful ones. In piano I tell people who are just starting in to learn piano that they will learn as much about themselves as they will music !! Isn't that the truth, it brings existing weaknesses to the forefront. We aren't psychologists here we've just been through it too !Thanks hfmadopter! I totally agree, it's far more than just 'playing an instrument'! It pulls at all aspects of the self and draws them out. And people here, including your god self have been very helpful, again, I'm very grateful .Yes, she is under pressure at the moment, but she really does fixate on ridiculous notions that don't exist i.e 'oh people will look at the photos & think who's that hideous woman with the awful hair, I'll ruin all the photos just by being in them, I can't wait for it to be over etc' and comments of the like... She really is impossible! I could've throttled her yesterday! How did you manage to put up mothers of the bride for 15 years?! Very well done for that Good grief, I hope I can offer some advice to people on here that's been as helpful as the adice I've received! Thanks everyone!