I recently found a new piano teacher

[momopi]

...and she's a little on the crazy side.

Quite violent, she made me cry on the first lesson. She hit my hands, grabbed my arm and smacked my face and the back of my head with my book. I was like, "What the *** did you just do?" We were just starting and I haven't even made mistakes yet. She said she was just showing me what her former teachers' teaching style. I'm not even a child. I'm already a professional. I told her I will not tolerate any kind of physical abuse and that she should apologize to me and she did. (Hello?! I'm paying you! Be courteous to me.) So should I trust her? I can't find any other teachers in my area.

Also, she wants me to play elbows out. I do elbows out when the score has big octave range but if it's just an exercise with a range of two octaves, I don't see the point of sticking my elbows out like a chicken.

Plus, she wants me to start Hanon (the yellow one) all over again. It's something I finished a decade and a half ago and I studied many other pieces after that. While her intentions may be good, I'm afraid that as an adult I may not have the same patience and time as a middle school student. She remarked that I have no problem reading notes but my hands lack strength. What other exercises may you suggest so that I can avoid the monotony that is Hanon?

[mjames]

You're a professional, right? So uh...chopin etudes, liszt etudes, scriabin etudes etc....? lol I don't know. I didn't know that professionals still had to go through lessons and stuff.

[momopi]

A professional in another field, not a professional pianist.

Thank you for understanding.

[theholygideons]

get a new teacher...
elbows should be relaxed on both sides and beside your body.
I don't understand why teacher's would physically abuse their students, it's just like doctors physically abusing their patients for not taking care of themselves... it doesn't make sense nor is it professional.
I've never played hanon in my freakin' life, and you shouldn't either. If you want to strengthen fingers, play bach's prelude and fugues!!!
the only way to get good at fighting is if you actually fight, similarly if you're a pianist you'll only get good by playing actual pieces!! 

[birba]

Sounds like Rosl Schmid.  A formidable pianist and teacher from Munich who was known for her violent ways.  A Japanese student took her to court when she threw a chair at him.  He lost.

[theholygideons]

da fuq, how'd he lose? what if it was an axe instead of a chair.

[momopi]

I know a good teacher but she's too old now.  

This one is actually brilliant but she has lose screws. For the next lesson, I'll make a rule that she's not allow to lay a hand on me. If she wants me to make a specific move, she should demonstrate it.

Too bad, first six lessons are already paid.

[birba]

Then go with your "gut feeling".

[momopi]

I'm just going to consume the already paid lessons. There are five more. If it gets worse, I'll not renew my contract with her. She's a psycho. She doesn't also know how to maintain boundaries, endlessly talking about her personal life on the first day. She also like to touch my fingers and hands. I don't like it. I don't like being touched forcefully. It's been two days and I still feel a slight pain in my hands and wrists due to her attack.

The only thing I liked about the first day is that we did the scales four octaves and she showed me how it can be done in contrary motion. Other than that, it was mEhhh.

the only way to get good at fighting is if you actually fight, similarly if you're a pianist you'll only get good by playing actual pieces!!

@holygideons: dude, we haven't even started yet and she hit my head with a book. I haven't even performed for her yet. How can you start that way? I've been off the piano for around 4-5 years. And even for that year, I only had 4 months of lessons. Before that, the last lesson was also around 5 years ago. I tried practicing a bit few months ago but that's it.

The thing is teaching adults, teaching kids who are not planning to go to music school, teaching kids who are headed to conservatory all require different teaching styles and expectations. You don't treat adults the way you treat children, young adults, and college students. They also have different motivations. Don't tell me "this is what I did at the conservatory so this is what you should do too." I told her right from the start that time to practice maybe limited, that I'm only available on Sundays, and that weekdays may be very inconvenient to me as I would be out-of-town most of the time. And yet, she has the nerve to suggest twice-a-week lessons.

I'm going to ask for a calling card of a psychiatrist. If she attacks me again next lesson, I'd hand her a card.

[outin]

I'm going to ask for a calling card of a psychiatrist. If she attacks me again next lesson, I'd hand her a card.

I would not do that with a psycho...

In what country are you? The whole thing sounds pretty absurd 

When it comes to touching, some teachers do that quite a lot. But usually not violently...Mine does direct my hands, try to show me how my hand should be and quite often stops me from leaning forward too much or slumping. But quite gently... The only time when I got slightly hurt was when she showed me how I could do a passage with 3rd over 2nd  and since my joints are so loose it kind of twisted over 

[momopi]

I would not do that with a psycho...

In what country are you? The whole thing sounds pretty absurd 

When it comes to touching, some teachers do that quite a lot. But usually not violently...Mine does direct my hands, try to show me how my hand should be and quite often stops me from leaning forward too much or slumping. But quite gently... The only time when I got slightly hurt was when she showed me how I could do a passage with 3rd over 2nd  and since my joints are so loose it kind of twisted over 

Let's just say I'm from the Asia-Pacific Region.

I agree with you outin. It *IS* really absurd. The reason I am coming back to piano is because I have very good memories of it and I really enjoyed it. This is the first time I got traumatized. My former teachers were strict and will tell you right away if you were wrong and would ask you to repeat, repeat, repeat all that needs repeating but they would never hit me.

I can't believe this is happening to me as an adult. I never felt so disrespected in my life.

[outin]

Let's just say I'm from the Asia-Pacific Region.

I agree with you outin. It *IS* really absurd. The reason I am coming back to piano is because I have very good memories of it and I really enjoyed it. This is the first time I got traumatized. My former teachers were strict and will tell you right away if you were wrong and would ask you to repeat, repeat, repeat all that needs repeating but they would never hit me.

I can't believe this is happening to me as an adult. I never felt so disrespected in my life.

If you feel this way it will not be a very good start for you piano experience. Try to find a new teacher if you can. I had to change mine after only about a month (I didn't even mind missing some already payed lessons after switching). Many others have gone wrong on their first attempts.

But if you really cannot find another one, just remember: You are an adult and something like this really cannot severly harm you. You are always allowed to stop going to lessons if you feel like it, unlike some kids. Don't think of it as disrespect but just a problem in her behavior. Make sure she knows what is acceptable and see if you two can reach an agreement and maybe get used to each others ways...

Good luck!

[gregh]

Not even kids heading to conservatory should be hit on the head with a book.

[lojay]

Not even kids heading to conservatory should be hit on the head with a book.

Come on...

You know some of them deserve it!

[j_menz]

Not even kids heading to conservatory should be hit on the head with a book.

Of course not. Books are easily damaged. You should use something more solid.

[dima_76557]

spam

[momopi]

Not even kids heading to conservatory should be hit on the head with a book.

I totally agree.

Piano students of the world, unite! If you don't want your haircut to look like Fats Domino's, there's a simple defense against that wok of doom, but you have to do lots of Hanon exercises first.

I think it should be emphasized that the unprofessional teacher hit me even before our lessons formally started.

Of course not. Books are easily damaged. You should use something more solid.

I don't find this is funny.

It is just a simple lack of respect for the other person. You have to remember that your student is also your client. And if the student is already an adult and is a professional, you have to treat him/her as one. Do you think licensed teachers, accountants, medical doctors, business consultants, engineers, et al would allow themselves to be slapped with a book on the face and on the back of the head?

As a professional, would you like to learn and collaborate with someone who cannot manage their emotions? Saying that she was just demonstrating what her parents and her teachers used to do to her is not acceptable. Teachers and university professors would lose their job if they did this in a classroom. It's simply unethical. She gotta learn self-control.

I told her I'm not paying you to hit me. I'm not taking it back because I know I'm 100% right.

[hfmadopter]

I told her I'm not paying you to hit me. I'm not taking it back because I know I'm 100% right.

Look, professional or not who is going to sit there and let some crazy woman hit them over the head with a book !!!!! If that is how it went down, you're now trying to tell us that you even are considering returning ? For what purpose, to get whacked again ?

[momopi]

Payment for one season (6 weeks) has already been made and she does not refund.

Sad predicament, it is, hfmadopter.

I'll just consume the already paid lessons (which are rather costly) then look for another teacher.

[outin]

Payment for one season (6 weeks) has already been made and she does not refund.

Sad predicament, it is, hfmadopter.

I'll just consume the already paid lessons (which are rather costly) then look for another teacher.

Or you could tell her that you want your money back because of her unacceptable behavior or you'll sue. But if she really is grazy, she probably will call you on it...

[j_menz]

I don't find this is funny.

Clear,ly you had a humour by=-pass installed.

But seriously, to get your money back just threaten to call the cops on her. What she did is assault.

[hfmadopter]

Payment for one season (6 weeks) has already been made and she does not refund.

Sad predicament, it is, hfmadopter.

I'll just consume the already paid lessons (which are rather costly) then look for another teacher.

It is sad, yes. I think you can get your money back, if not I don't see how you could get much from taking lessons from her after that action she raged on you. At the very least you should go back with a friend or relative in your presence, IMO. Ask for your money back based on your experience, which was abnormal behavior on the teachers part. I would certainly confront her with this and ask her if there are other students she treats this way or was it just you. Stand your ground. I would not take another lesson from her. Not trying to scare you but it's a crazy enough world out there without dealing with this person.

That's my opinion. Tell me my imagination is wild, that's ok. She is a slap happy crazy woman as you describe her to us, who knows what she may be capable of.

[theholygideons]

Make sure that when you do ask for a refund you have the police on standby outside her house, so that when she does hit you on the head, they can arrest her on the spot.

[gregh]

I totally agree.

I think it should be emphasized that the unprofessional teacher hit me even before our lessons formally started.

I don't find this is funny.

It is just a simple lack of respect for the other person.

Some things are rude and inappropriate, but can also be funny.

As a professional, would you like to learn and collaborate with someone who cannot manage their emotions?

It has nothing to do with being an adult or a professional. A part-time janitor shouldn't be hit on the head by his teacher. A thirteen year old kid shouldn't be hit on the head by his teacher.

Saying that she was just demonstrating what her parents and her teachers used to do to her is not acceptable.

I quite agree. If you had been discussing it, if you had asked, that might be different. But to just whack you uninvited cannot be excused like that.

Maybe she didn't realize at the time that she was crossing a boundary. Have you had any further experience with her yet?

[momopi]

It has nothing to do with being an adult or a professional. A part-time janitor shouldn't be hit on the head by his teacher. A thirteen year old kid shouldn't be hit on the head by his teacher.

I know, right?

Tell that to lojay.

Come on...

You know some of them deserve it!

Have you had any further experience with her yet?

Nope, but I asked some people and they told me people don't really last long with her. And she knows it and she thinks the current generation is so lucky because they don't have to go through corporal punishment and abuse.

Anyway, she has tamed up because I threaten to report her to the police. But now the problem is her lack of time management and aimlessness of the lessons. First Hanon, then scales, then after that, she will spend the rest the time talking about her personal life. It's her ME, ME, ME time. It's like, she hadn't spoken to anyone in ages and goes on autopilot. She cannot focus. What I do is I open one of my books and start playing. She would then instruct me then. But the thing is in Lesson we discuss this piece, in Lesson 2 another piece, in Lesson 3 another piece... I know. I am wasting money.

I'm not in a position to psychoanalyze her but... I think she must be a very sad person.

But the good news is three lessons had passed and there's only three remaining left! I already talked to a new teacher and she said she will welcome me in October!  

[gregh]

Thanks for the update. I don't know what to say, although I can think of a few things that could be said. Hopefully the new teacher is a better match.

[hfmadopter]

But the good news is three lessons had passed and there's only three remaining left! I already talked to a new teacher and she said she will welcome me in October!  

That's great, hope you are off to a good start with this one !! The one you have now sounds like a hideous teacher, I already said I wouldn't bother returning to her and still feel that way. Bad enough wasting your money but now it's your time as well.