After a year I'm still nervous playing for my teacher and friends

[oystersauce]

I used to be extremely shy as a child, but have since improved quite a bit, though I'm still a bit withdrawn. My teacher is a highly intelligent woman and I know she doesn't dislike me as a student (she knows I work hard), but many people find her presence intimidating (including myself). When I practice I sound fairly decent. But when I begin to play for her, everything I worked on just sounds like crap - I get nervous, stumble over notes, and keep thinking "oh my god she thinks I'm playing so badly". After a year you'd think I'd have gotten to the point where I can play naturally around my teacher, but so far it's only been a minor improvement.

It's also hard for me to play in front of my fellow pianist friends (in fact, I go out of my way to avoid it). I can't help but feel judged, especially since I'm planning on auditioning for the performance program at my school. I'm definitely not as good as a lot of the performance majors, so I can't help but think that people are thinking I'm crazy for even bothering to try.

How do I get over this? It's like I have some sort of musician-inferiority-complex. I know I should play more often in public situations (especially to prepare for the audition next April), but is there any other way to get over this quickly? How do I stop the obsessive thoughts that occur while playing, the shakiness, and all that other nasty stuff?

[iansinclair]

If it cheers you up any, I am still a little nervous playing for others.  And I've been at it for some 60 plus years now.

The only was I've ever learned to reduce the problem is simple to describe, and much harder to do: do more of it.

When I was still taking lessons -- decades ago -- I never played as well for my teacher as I did by myself practicing.  She was a formidable lady; a great teacher who also happened to be one of the finest organists and choral conductors of her day.  Terrified everybody.

Friends are a different matter, and I think the best way to approach your concerns playing for them is to imagine that they are regarding you in the same way you would regard them, if they were playing and you were listening.  This may not be true -- you may have some who are judgmental, perhaps unjustly, and you may have some who look down at you as not a performance major, which is their problem.  Some people just are that way.  But if you can bring yourself to truly believe that they are no different from you, it should help. 

And reassure yourself; you know how well you can play, and no one can take that from you.

[hfmadopter]

It takes a mind set adjustment. If you think about it you can probably apply the underlying problem that causes this to other things in life as well. If you can adjust that it will improve, probably never go away 100% but that's ok..

For the record, you don't want it to totally go away, you need just a touch of that feeling to keep you on your toes, believe it or not. It will help you practice for goal performances. By that I don't mean huge performances in some hall ( though it could be) but even these smaller ones with your friends. You just need to view the reason why differently and adjust. I've gotten over the feeling of important people looking down on me, sometimes I think the bigger they are the more I'm likely to greet them the same as anyone else. But the piano teacher was a problem for me too, piano teachers are hanging on every note you play, an audience is not. Not in general anyway. We are far greater critics of ourselves than the average listener in a room full of people is.

Something I've found very helpful in performance is to play to the one individual you know likes your playing or that you think likes it at least. Then just kind of zone everyone else out. If there isn't anyone you feel that way about play to a spirit in the room with your who absolutely loves you and loves your playing. That presence is larger than anyone living who is there. I might add that it's larger than anyone in a meeting room at work for that matter. Some people can't bring themselves to think in that way or won't admit it at least. I happen to and what works with this is that I play with that presence every day.

So beyond all that , play to more groups of people. In time this will get better. Also don't play your most difficult pieces for the groups of people, keep it easier for yourself but do it well. And if you really still have trouble with feeling these people are above you find a way to lower their status in your mind. I was once told as a teenager to think of something like this important person has placed his underwear on his head and gone to work that way. Still brings a smile to my face if nothing else !

[louispodesta]

I used to be extremely shy as a child, but have since improved quite a bit, though I'm still a bit withdrawn. My teacher is a highly intelligent woman and I know she doesn't dislike me as a student (she knows I work hard), but many people find her presence intimidating (including myself). When I practice I sound fairly decent. But when I begin to play for her, everything I worked on just sounds like crap - I get nervous, stumble over notes, and keep thinking "oh my god she thinks I'm playing so badly". After a year you'd think I'd have gotten to the point where I can play naturally around my teacher, but so far it's only been a minor improvement.

It's also hard for me to play in front of my fellow pianist friends (in fact, I go out of my way to avoid it). I can't help but feel judged, especially since I'm planning on auditioning for the performance program at my school. I'm definitely not as good as a lot of the performance majors, so I can't help but think that people are thinking I'm crazy for even bothering to try.

How do I get over this? It's like I have some sort of musician-inferiority-complex. I know I should play more often in public situations (especially to prepare for the audition next April), but is there any other way to get over this quickly? How do I stop the obsessive thoughts that occur while playing, the shakiness, and all that other nasty stuff?

"But is there any way to get over this quickly?"  Yes, there is, and I don't want any garbage from other pianists who have not had to live the life of this pianist, which I did for 40 years!

There is a NON-NARCOTIC, NON-ADDICTIVE drug by the name of Inderal (propranolol) which is the most widely prescribed hypertension/beta blocker in the world.  It is cheap, and one of the recommended, FDA approved, uses for this is STAGE FRIGHT!

So, get yourself to a an endocrinologist or a neurologist, and have your thyroid, and your blood sugar tested.   Once any pathological abnormalities are ruled out (or in), then have them write you a Rx for propranolol, and also have them school you on how to determine the correct dosage for your particular nervous system.

Classical musicians in Europe have taken this medication for decades.  All of this BS about self-confidence and getting to know your music is wasted advice on a young performer.  It takes years and years to develop these skills.

So, get over the fact that you are doing what anyone who cannot fly on an airplane, or get on a boat, without medication, and then solve your problem.

I would have never gotten my degree without Inderal, and a fellow student, who eventually won the Naumberg Competition is the one who told me about it.

Good luck to you, and remember to experiment around with the time aspect of when to take the medication.  It is different before a lesson, as opposed to a performance, or an audition.
 

[hfmadopter]

I would have never gotten my degree without Inderal, and a fellow student, who eventually won the Naumberg Competition is the one who told me about it.

Good luck to you, and remember to experiment around with the time aspect of when to take the medication.  It is different before a lesson, as opposed to a performance, or an audition.
 

There is no such thing as drugs without potential side effects and the potential list is very long with this drug I might add.  Not everyone reacts the same to any given med. Have a look here regarding this drug: https://www.drugs.com/sfx/propranolol-side-effects.html

[louispodesta]

There is no such thing as drugs without potential side effects and the potential list is very long with this drug I might add.  Not everyone reacts the same to any given med. Have a look here regarding this drug: https://www.drugs.com/sfx/propranolol-side-effects.html

The side effects listed here are related to very large doses over an extended period of time.  The amount of Inderal needed to combat performance nerves is usually no more than five or ten milligrams.

I have low level Parkinson's Disease and have had tremors my entire life.  In the 32 years I have been taking this medication, there has never been a single instance of a side effect related to a performance.

What most people don't realize is the emotional toll, in terms of self confidence, that occurs when someone can't control their nerves before a performance.  That is why, in my opinion, most of your DMA graduates disappear after they leave music school.  They have never been able to get their nerves under control, so they just give up on public performance.

Finally, that is why I recommend that a person see a specialist, as opposed to a primary care physician, before taking this medication.   They are highly experienced in its usage, and then can help mitigate the problem immediately.