Practice is fine, performing in front of my teacher is really bad.

[insheerpleasure69]

Hello everyone!
My name's John, I have been playing the keyboard for 2 years and, then, I decided I love music too much to play on a keyboard, when I can profit from a piano! So basically I have been playing the piano for one year. My new teacher got me into scales, completed czerny 100, played some oesten easy songs and now we're slowly proceeding into lemoine, album sonatina and then we plan czerny 40 and bach. I have also started theory.
This transition may seem relatively fast(?) for some people, but I practice very much and my teacher says I can be very good. And here comes my problem: at first, when I was practicing easy songs like oesten I could perform them in front of my teacher and sound good. Last week we started the first sonatina from the album, Clementi: Sonatina in C major, op. 36 no. 1(3rd part), and I liked it so much that I practiced very hard at home, trying to nail it.

Yesterday, I tried to perfrom it in front of my teacher and it sounded so bad. Same with Lemoine. And I don't know why! It really depresses me to try so hard and then disappoint my teacher. Every time I am sitting in front of the piano of the music school,  once I make a mistake, I am overwhelmed by anxiety, I "freeze" and my mind goes 100% blank until we continue to a different book/piece. I can't even sight read. And then I come back home, I play it 10 times better and I am depressed half the week.
It's not that I live up to my teacher's expectations- I also feel disappointed in myself.

P.S. A very important thing to know is that I am currently playing on a keyboard at home, while I play on a piano at the music school. I am planning on buying a digital one(a clavinova clp 430) on February. However, even if the keys are much heavier on the piano and the sound is definetely different, I can't blame only my instrument... Please help.

[iancollett6]

You know this is incredibly common, it all comes down to confidence. Before a lesson you almost have to expect that you won't be able to perform to the same standard as when you practise alone.
Coming to terms with this will possibly remove that frustration and paranoia that makes things turn really bad.
 Try playing in front of other people as often as you can. Give it time and things will work themselves out.

[carl_h]

What iancollett6 says is true. You have to accept that at home, in your comfort zone, you will most likely play better (with experience this gap will close). You also say that you have a new teacher, how new is this teacher? If you are only with him/her for a few weeks, it might be that you just don't feel 100% comfortable with him/her. This will pass with time.
Don't feel depressed when you perform below expectation at your lesson, take it as a lesson in itself and think about how you will improve this by the next lesson.
Enjoy practising and don't worry about making a mistake in your lesson, that is why you take them!

[abielikesu]

Hi,

As mentioned before, playing in front of others will help your confidence.

One thing you'll soon find out is that no matter how well you play, the teacher will point out new things that need improvement. That's the beauty of having a teacher!

Saludos,
Abie.

[timothy42b]

It happens to everybody.

It improves with time, and with your attitude (your job isn't to impress the teacher, but to show him accurately where you are so he can fix it.)

Don't make the mistake of comparing your last runthrough at home, after an hour of getting comfortable, with your first effort at the lesson.  They are completely different.  Compare how you play when you first sit down at home with when you first sit down at the lesson.

Also, how badly you play for the teacher is one of the best diagnostic tools you can have.  What breaks down under pressure is always your weakest skill.  So pay close attention to what goes wrong.  Then you know what to work on.  You don't need to work on what you can do well, you need to work on the worst part first.

[nyiregyhazi]

Please don't take this the wrong way, but to assume practise is "fine" (and look to what happens in the lessons themselves) will almost certainly be missing out on the real issues. Mistakes don't come from nowhere under pressure. Problems simply get exaggerated to a point where they become unmissable. There will be things that you need to learn to recognise (even when things seem "fine") in order to set stronger foundations for the play through in the lesson. Even if every note is struck correctly, as a teacher, I've come to recognise a whole lot of differences between something that worked on that particular occasion and something that is truly secure deep down (and which would be expected to work over and over without problem).

One of the biggest issues is how the arm organises and whether it's visibly simple and continuous or moving with a stop start quality. This isn't about downward pressures through each finger, but slow sideways drifting movements. As soon as one finger plays, the arm should be very obviously drifting towards the next finger (although the finger that played last must retain a clear and precise contact while this happens). It's like a tap on the shoulder for the next finger (to remind it when to move) and it gives you a chance to feel if anything might be about to wrong before anything actually does go wrong. The classic mistake is to play one finger then stop dead, do nothing and then suddenly try to move the next finger from nowhere at the last moment. It's too late when you don't feel it in advance and feel certain of success before the finger moves. Sudden unprepared movements often get students through in some situations yet easily breaks down completely under pressure. Don't blame nerves, but get on with learning clearer and more reliable movements.

Try experimenting with those issues and see how inevitable you can make the feeling of each note, long before actually playing it, by slowly progressing towards the finger with a subtle but continuous drift towards it. Very few amateur pianists know how to use the arm in this way, but it's the single biggest factor in getting consistency. There are very few occasions when something is truly fine yet falls apart under pressure. The issue is whether you can learn to notice the underlying issues which are always there but which don't always come to the surface. Getting the notes right doesn't mean everything is working fine. When you learn to pick up on gaps in the flow (which may be significantly present even when you have played without a single dropped note) your practise will result in deeper and more reliable learning

[stevenarmstrong]

Performance practice will help...the more you do the more you get use to it but I don't think it's a nerve problem...I think it's how you are practicing. Nervousness is mostly a product of not really knowing what you're doing anyway. If you practice well, any nervousness from being in front of someone shouldn't have much impact on your playing at all.

General tips:
a) be completely concentrated. Focus, listen, assess, adjust. (5 minute break every half hour)
b) don't stop-start a lot
c) never play anything that you can't. i.e. play everything in a way (tempo) that you can handle without making a mess
d) never practice without a defined goal (e.g. right now I am going to get the notes of the right hand from here to here)
e) make everything comfortable. Don't let there be "that passage" that is really difficult.
f) never practice beginning-to-end, beginning-to-end, beginning-to-end. Small chunks at a time, over and over and over, gradually accumulating to the whole.
g) never play thoughtlessly. Be conscious of every note and it's purpose. Practice the music
h) be conscious of your movement. Never play anything if you are tense.
i) practice legato staccato and staccato legato.

It's hard to know how you practice without seeing it but anyway, I hope you get something out of that

[slane]

YOu have to work like mad to impress your teacher during practice and then have fun playing in front of him/her. Its too late to fix anything when you start your performance so just play it, concentrating on the music and not anything your teacher is likely to say,

But .. its really really hard and I've only achieved it a few times. My teacher gets very excited when I do though But as someone else said, he still manages to find something to say, even if its a teeny tiny adjustment to one phrase, because that's what I pay him for.

The frame of mind reminds me of our favourite anime, Nodame Contabile when our hero is given Rachmaninoff 2 to perform by the naughty German conductor. Chiaki, being Japanese, studious and determined, practices like mad but as he and the conductor go onto the stage, the conductor says "Lets have fun making music" and as Chiaki raises his hands to the piano the whole audience recedes into blackness .. which you can see here.

OK. Its a cartoon! But there we are!

[1piano4joe]

Hi insheerpleasure69,

If your keyboard has unweighted keys and this is what you have been playing for two years then this is more of a problem than you probably realize. Yes, nerves at the new teacher. Yes, different teaching methods than your previous teacher. These all play a part sure. But...

How much are you practicing on your keyboard at home and not on an actual weighted keyboard that is touch sensitive?

The first year or so it's much easier to get away with that. As one progresses it will naturally become more difficult to deal with heavier weighted keys.  This is because your sense of touch has not developed like it would have on a weighted keyboard.

So, sure you learn all the basics and can read music, analyze, learn practice methods, etc. but your playing apparatus meaning "YOU"  are being deprived of physical development. How do you play even a basic crescendo on such an instrument? How do you play a left hand accompaniment softer than the right hand? How do you make use of dynamics? You can't and I should know since...

I have such a 61 key keyboard that I received as a gift. I didn't want to seem ungrateful to the gift giver but it's not only a toy but a joke.  

I would try practicing my lessons on a weighted keyboard for a week and then see if the teacher's piano is less of a hurdle.

I hope I have been helpful, Joe.

P.S. Welcome to Pianostreet!

[slane]

I'm currently listening to Stephen Hough talking about practice.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03lzrsk

and he says practice like a maniac but keep in mind that none of it matters!
And other things along the same lines. Worth a listen.

[fore]

Great post and observation.  I'm a brand new beginner too and noticed the same problem at my lesson last week.  I struggled to play as well as I played at home.  And, like you, if I stuttered or stopped, it was hard to get going again.

Nice to hear it gets better

And great practice tips stevenarmstrong!!

[loydb]

For me, difficulties in front of the teacher disappear after I'm properly warmed up. The first 15 minutes or so sucks...

[insheerpleasure69]

Thank you everyone for taking time to answer this!
After putting thought into this and reading your responses, I have come to realise that my practice is fine after 2-3 attempts so I should definately practice as much as it needs so my first attempt is perfect! Btw, thanks for the arm position tips! :-)
My struggle with performing in front of people is also originated from my anxiety issues, but I have taken this very personally and I won't give up another thing I love because of this.

Thanks again, I appreciate every single reply to this post! Have a great night :-)

Hi insheerpleasure69,

If your keyboard has unweighted keys and this is what you have been playing for two years then this is more of a problem than you probably realize. Yes, nerves at the new teacher. Yes, different teaching methods than your previous teacher. These all play a part sure. But...

How much are you practicing on your keyboard at home and not on an actual weighted keyboard that is touch sensitive?

The first year or so it's much easier to get away with that. As one progresses it will naturally become more difficult to deal with heavier weighted keys.  This is because your sense of touch has not developed like it would have on a weighted keyboard.

So, sure you learn all the basics and can read music, analyze, learn practice methods, etc. but your playing apparatus meaning "YOU"  are being deprived of physical development. How do you play even a basic crescendo on such an instrument? How do you play a left hand accompaniment softer than the right hand? How do you make use of dynamics? You can't and I should know since...

I have such a 61 key keyboard that I received as a gift. I didn't want to seem ungrateful to the gift giver but it's not only a toy but a joke.  

I would try practicing my lessons on a weighted keyboard for a week and then see if the teacher's piano is less of a hurdle.

I hope I have been helpful, Joe.

P.S. Welcome to Pianostreet!

Well I know what you're saying! I don't have an access to weighted keys(they are touch sensitive,but not weighted), unfortunately. And when I play on the piano of the music school, I can feel my fingers struggling. I can't get chords right and, yes, crescendos are challenging even if my fingers are very, very fast on my keyboard. However, when my fingers are warm enough, my teacher says that I am very expressive compared to other students who practice on a piano.
I will buy a digital piano on February so this won't be a problem anymore!(as far as the keys are concerned,the sound is always different from a classic piano, as you already know)