The secret to happiness is...

[faulty_damper]

Self-acceptance.

This also happens to be the most difficult thing to do in many Western cultures because of the culture of domination and discrimination (racism, sexism, ageism, homophobia, elitism, etc.)  You are implicitly and explicitly taught that in order to be happy, you have to be better than you are or must conform to the societal standards.  But the research is pretty clear that the single most important factor that happy people have, regardless of their disposition in life, is self-acceptance.  This means knowing who you are, how you relate to others, and accepting that you are who you are and that cannot be changed.

In my experience, self-acceptance started a renaissance for me.  I've come to know and accept that I am very much "normal" even though most of my life people have made sleight insults toward me for being different, even by certain members of my own family.  Even as recently as a couple of years ago, I wished I were "normal" and would wet my pillow late at night because I believed I was not.  I am no longer ashamed to be who I am - highly sensitive, very smart and intelligent, highly skilled in various artistic endeavors - which are traits that are discriminated against in US culture especially to the degree that I possess them.

So if you feel like you are no good, that nothing you do is good enough, maybe you can feel better by practicing self-acceptance.  If you don't, you'll probably end up with a prescription of anti-depressants that you regularly refill at the pharmacy.  Some of you may do just that thinking that it will help you become "normal", like somehow you have no control over it when in actuality, you very much do.

Self-acceptance could be the key to a happier life, yet it's the happy habit many people practice the least
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/03/140307111016.htm

[iansinclair]

You are absolutely and completely correct.  It is all founded on that.

[anima55]

I agree.  Being happy and accepting of oneself is extremely important.  Believing in one's own self worth is the key to happiness. 

One other thing I would add though.  Living in the present moment, 'now', is tremendously helpful to remaining happy. If you think about it, problems only seem to begin when you start to consider something that happened in the past or something which might happen in the future.  And we can do that so much, we can miss the good parts of being in the 'here and now'. 

[theholygideons]

to learn the art of dying, is to rid yourself of the overreaching ambition, perceptions and all the inessentials that come with the conditioned mind, molded over time by forces of institution and society. Thereupon, by resolving the issue happiness from its very essence and core, our actions and behaviours become congruent with the intrinsic truths that govern our conscious desires, and only then do we feel at one with ourselves, happy by means of truly express ourselves, no more, no less than we intend.

That is the conclusion which I have come to. Feel free to express yours.

[ted]

That is fairly obvious really, and I think I have always been lucky regarding it. New Zealand started to imitate America since 1984, and now there is an odious ambiance of pushing, shoving, competition and greed. With years of experience one acquires the tricks of ignoring it all, the art of saying "no thank you". In this country I fear most for the young, because they have missed out on living in an environment which encourages contentment. They have never known its rewards, or the absence of pressure to change. As I said in another post, most of my son's friends seem to be on pills of one sort or another, and exist in a constant state of self-doubt and anxiety. No good being materially and externally successful if one is falling apart inside. Of course, this was said much more poetically a very long time ago in various metaphorical ways.  

[swagmaster420x]

of course, dissatisfaction with oneself can in some cases serve as a valuable impetus for growth... but not to the point where it is resigned self-loathing

[ted]

to learn the art of dying, is to rid yourself of the overreaching ambition, perceptions and all the inessentials that come with the conditioned mind, molded over time by forces of institution and society. Thereupon, by resolving the issue happiness from its very essence and core, our actions and behaviours become congruent with the intrinsic truths that govern our conscious desires, and only then do we feel at one with ourselves, happy by means of truly express ourselves, no more, no less than we intend.

That is the conclusion which I have come to. Feel free to express yours.

Nothing to argue about there. Once we have reached that state, we can really start to do something, without fear, about some of the terrible things that go on around us. And then we realise that the attainment of that condition is a beginning, not an end.

[outin]

Self-acceptance.

True...but also accepting the erratic and random nature of the world outside you. Adding to that the ability to turn to yourself for comfort instead of always relying on other people, material things or spiritual beings.

But I don't really like the word happiness, because it is often associated with the ups that are inevitably followed by the lows. I prefer serenity, being in peace with yourself and the world.

[thalbergmad]

The secret to happiness is a perfectly tuned banjo.

Thal

[awesom_o]

of course, dissatisfaction with oneself can in some cases serve as a valuable impetus for growth... but not to the point where it is resigned self-loathing

Good point raised here.

As a composer, it can be dangerous to be too accepting of one's self.

We must be constantly challenging ourselves, pushing ourselves to new heights!

If you are completely 100% self-accepting..... why get any better? Why improve? You already accept 100% your lot in life!

A composer is one who constantly seeks more music, deeper music, better music.

[brogers70]

Low expectations.

[ahinton]

The secret to happiness is a perfectly tuned banjo.

It's a secret all right! So much so that almost no one knows about it (or indeed needs to, unless they play the instrument).

Best,

Alistair

[kakeithewolf]

Low expectations.

I agree with this completely.

[inverted]

I'd say realistic expectations, but yes often the low expectations are the most realistic ones. Which leads onto another key: don't over-think things, and though you can't forget the bad stuff you can admit when it can't be helped.

Also:
-Be outwardly pleasant and nice as often as possible, even if you do not feel that way it will make others want your company more which then leads to happiness unless you are totally misanthropic.
-Take the initiative whenever you can. If you want to make a friend invite them out do so something. If you find somebody attractive and think there's maybe some reciprocity ask them out.

Most of all: relax.

[g_s_223]

Getting down to basics, I'd say having (or receiving) a big **** definitely promotes happiness.

[kakeithewolf]

Getting down to basics, I'd say having (or receiving) a big **** definitely promotes happiness.

That "****" could be many things.

[faulty_damper]

Yeah, receiving a big *raise* can promote temporary happiness for some people as long as it feels as if it's deserved.  If it's for no reason, it can actually lower happiness.

[kakeithewolf]

Yeah, receiving a big *raise* can promote temporary happiness for some people as long as it feels as if it's deserved.  If it's for no reason, it can actually lower happiness.

I was thinking four-letter obscenities, actually.

[Bob]

He doesn't say happiness specifically, but it might be implied.  He does say it's a secret.