Original Composition - Kyrie

[kakeithewolf]

A little while ago, I wrote a Kyrie, in hopes that I could try to figure out counterpoint better. I arranged it for organ, and one hour of rendering later, I got the MP3.

I'd like feedback, so I can know if I am getting better or worse at counterpoint.

[j_menz]

I+ had some trouble getting  the words of the Kyrie to fit comfortably, so perhaps a text line would have helped.

The use of those clefs made it way to difficult to read. Was that really necessary - or at least useful for you?

IMO, you need to separate out two elements here. One is four part harmony and the other is counterpoint. 

It seemed to me you had way to much parallel motion going on for effective four part writing - and I suspect you broke a few cardinal rules in the process - parallel fifths, as an example. The clefs used prevent me actually pointing to an example.  I suggest you do more work on four part writing  without trying to add in counterpoint at this stage, and get a good theory book.  Also, get a standard hymnal - it will give you plenty of good models and ideas.

As for counterpoint, you basically had two part counterpoint going on for most of it, with the other voices harmonising that. A few places strayed into three.  For the moment, stick to two - and write it that way. The other voices are confusing your ideas. Keep it simple.  That way you can start to employ the various contrapuntal devices available. At present, it's very much echoes and parallel work. I'd recommend you get the Fux book and work your way through it.

There are some good ideas in what you have written, but you've overcomplicated the exercise.

[kakeithewolf]

I+ had some trouble getting  the words of the Kyrie to fit comfortably, so perhaps a text line would have helped.

The use of those clefs made it way to difficult to read. Was that really necessary - or at least useful for you?

IMO, you need to separate out two elements here. One is four part harmony and the other is counterpoint. 

It seemed to me you had way to much parallel motion going on for effective four part writing - and I suspect you broke a few cardinal rules in the process - parallel fifths, as an example. The clefs used prevent me actually pointing to an example.  I suggest you do more work on four part writing  without trying to add in counterpoint at this stage, and get a good theory book.  Also, get a standard hymnal - it will give you plenty of good models and ideas.

As for counterpoint, you basically had two part counterpoint going on for most of it, with the other voices harmonising that. A few places strayed into three.  For the moment, stick to two - and write it that way. The other voices are confusing your ideas. Keep it simple.  That way you can start to employ the various contrapuntal devices available. At present, it's very much echoes and parallel work. I'd recommend you get the Fux book and work your way through it.

There are some good ideas in what you have written, but you've overcomplicated the exercise.

You just reminded me of what I forgot to do when arranging the score. I forgot to change the clefs from the original. I'll post the original for comparison (Ignore the beginning organ in the score, I'm going to omit that in the end).