Facebook's "Seen" feature is F*CKING me up

[cuberdrift]

I no longer have the patience nor the energy to continue posting enormous, meticulous replies addressing every sentence of your post, so I'll try to keep things simpler.

See, I'm not empowered at all by your nitty-gritty analyses of women's behavior. It is too detailed to fit into my psyche and you do nothing but destabilize my confidence. By portraying any honest gentleman's effort to get in touch with a woman of interest, as akin to walking across an unstable bridge hanging over a ravine, you instill in me fear and uncertainty. I don't want to be so stressed about such simple human relationships as to evaluate every text message I send to every girl I ever met, survey each word I say, and take note of every gesture and word she utters. Yeah - I'm more comfortable not giving a crap what they think if it doesn't need to involve such tedious mental poring into their godforsaken minds.

On one hand, you probably already know I agree with you that I should "develop a stronger sense of self" so I won't need to stress this any further.

Hardly anyone here gives a full nod to your ideology simply because it assumes too much. You're instilling in me too much reason to over-think and it tortures my psyche, sorry. Can't blame myself, either.

Allow me some space so I can watch you and Outin duel till judgment day and trumpets sound. After that, you tell me who won.

P.S. I can't help but bring this up - because it sort of forms the basis for my "hardliner" rule for answering texts/messages. Tell me what you think (poor analogy again, no?):

If you have calls to make, see that you attend them punctually. Your friends may reasonably think you slight them when you fail to do so.
- from the "Complete Handbook of Etiquette"

[nyiregyhazi]

I no longer have the patience nor the energy to continue posting enormous, meticulous replies addressing every sentence of your post, so I'll try to keep things simpler.

See, I'm not empowered at all by your nitty-gritty analyses of women's behavior. It is too detailed to fit into my psyche and you do nothing but destabilize my confidence. By portraying any honest gentleman's effort to get in touch with a woman of interest, as akin to walking across an unstable bridge hanging over a ravine, you instill in me fear and uncertainty. I don't want to be so stressed about such simple human relationships as to evaluate every text message I send to every girl I ever met, survey each word I say, and take note of every gesture and word she utters. Yeah - I'm more comfortable not giving a crap what they think if it doesn't need to involve such tedious mental poring into their godforsaken minds.

On one hand, you probably already know I agree with you that I should "develop a stronger sense of self" so I won't need to stress this any further.

Hardly anyone here gives a full nod to your ideology simply because it assumes too much. You're instilling in me too much reason to over-think and it tortures my psyche, sorry. Can't blame myself, either.

Allow me some space so I can watch you and Outin duel till judgment day and trumpets sound. After that, you tell me who won.

P.S. I can't help but bring this up - because it sort of forms the basis for my "hardliner" rule for answering texts/messages. Tell me what you think (poor analogy again, no?):

Why be scared now? You know what mistakes not to make. That should give confidence. It's not about analysing your every move but having the foresight to stop yourself if you're about to fall onto your own sword by allowing yourself into any of the classic negative behaviour patterns. What you posted here shows quite considerably you care about these things so what's worse? Being aware what mistakes to avoid or convincing yourself that all women are different anyway and that it might not matter if you carry investing so much in a reply from a casual acquaintance. Even if some women do go for that, it's not going to be healthy for you unless you learn to relax and let people reply in their own time.

Quite honestly, over thinking was your existing problem here. Stop thinking about stupid things you can't control and direct thoughts to what you can. You panicked merely because someone didn't reply to a silly Facebook post in 24 hours. Learn not to think so hard and instead get on with something more important and you'll be halfway to the solution already. The people who women are drawn to tend not to think twice about such things, nevermind get annoyed.

PS etiquette handbooks? seriously, as long as you keep clutching at the idea that this girl was rude, you will not develop as a person. You will continue to be someone who tries to control things they can't, blames others when that becomes evident and who gets frustrated at the constant inability. Someone who feels everybody is obligated to them is going to lead a very unhappy life when it turns out that their idea of rules are not shared by the world. You weren't owed a reply to a silly Internet message within a 24 hour deadline and you are completely screwing yourself up by allowing such a ridiculous pretence to exist. I'll be blunt, although it proved interesting, the premise for this thread is one the silliest things I've ever encountered on a forum. Stop dwelling on problems and instead start looking at solutions- that starts by accepting that how you and some friends use messenger is not the law of the land and that you have no business imposing your own ways on others, as if it's outrageous from them to fail to grant you what you want. You shouldn't even be thinking about what women like for now. You should be doing it for the sake of improving yourself as a person - which means dropping delusional expectations that a mere casual acquaintance owes you their instant Facebook attention, or that it's in any way reasonable for you to consider her to be guilty of anything. You cannot even begin improving yourself until you accept that she did nothing wrong and that it's your excessive emotional investment that you must look to. The only notable issue in this thread is what destructive turmoil you have permitted within your own mind- not the girl's behaviour. You're the maker of your own frustration-by kidding yourself that this girl was obligated to you and by investing quite such excessive amounts into getting a reply to something trivial. The fact that improving yourself will attract more women is secondary to learning not to screw yourself over, quite so severely.

[mjames]

Did you guys really read those essays?

[cuberdrift]

Sorry, but I have been stupid enough to write there again due to the whisperings of nostalgia.

Nothing.

Load of tosh.