Sorry, I'm generally not used to playing with a score of anything in front of me. I don't think I've ever done it before, I feel like it can sometimes be a obstruction.
Until one gains a significant amount of experience playing chamber music, it can be an obstruction! The sooner one can play as comfortably from the score as from memory, the sooner one becomes a professional, employable keyboard artist.
Your performance was quite respectable for a high-school student or first/second year
undergrad student. It was only 'substandard' in comparison to top-level professional renditions, like this one by Andras Schiff:
His control of texture, articulation, and ornamentation gives the music such sparkling clarity!
His sound contains an insane amount of rhythmic energy and precision without ever actually being very loud!
I think that is one of the key aspects to great Bach playing. One's tone must have an absolutely peculiar level of musical intensity that manifests never as sheer mass or mere volume!
Overall, your performance was quite respectable! It had a little too much mass in the tone, and sounded a bit sluggish. Perhaps a more brisk tempo and greater command of the trills and ornaments would help.
Your piano seems like it needs to be voiced down. It sounds pretty clangy, which isn't doing your interpretation any favours!