losing the love

[puppylover84]

I'm a piano teacher. I love my job, it never feels like work and I have some great students. The problem I have is with my own playing. I do find the time to practice, but when I do sit down to play through something it feels like hard work. I think to myself 'what's the point?' as I don't ever play in public. Also there are so many pieces that I want to be able to play, that I don't know where to start.

When I was a young piano student, I would learn new pieces in a few hours. I remember sitting at the piano and being so focused and I'd find it very easy and enjoyable. I go over pieces I learned years ago such as Gershwin's piano preludes, Clair de lune, Mozart sonatas and find that it takes 'too long' to get them up to performance standard again, so I give up. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself? Maybe it's everyday stresses that are blocking my progress?

I always tell my students how important it is to practice and I advise them of the best way to practice but for some reason I can't seem to apply this advice to myself!

I'm not saying I want to give up playing or teaching at all, I just want the love and enjoyment back. Is there anyone out there who has felt the same way?

[thalbergmad]

For me the love comes and goes. No idea why, it just happens.

Thal

[pianist1976]

For me the love comes and goes. No idea why, it just happens.

Well said.

I love that part in "The last romantic" movie when Horowitz says "I know the ups and downs in music".

@puppylover84, why don't you give yourself a rest time? A real rest, physical and mental. One entire month without playing a single note and letting go the anxiety for the want of playing (or not playing). This may help you to clear your thoughts.

I do it every year since a few years and I really feel the need to do it, and in my opinion is very beneficial and healthy in every sense. Hope it helps.

[ted]

Discipline and love in the arts ideally form a syncretic balance, rather like T.S. Eliot in "Little Gidding" - "And the fire and the rose are one". In fact, the state is very delicate, and we all vacillate in its attainment from time to time, neither quality being able in itself to sustain art for very long.

Your post, with its emphasis on achievement, suggests you have allowed discipline and routine to become habitually dominant. You are not alone; the phenomenon is desperately common among professional musicians of all types. You are also obviously still aware of exactly what is happening, so it is a matter of setting aside time to concentrate more on "why" you play music rather than "how". Exactly how you do this is highly individual. It might involve new musical processes, composition, improvisation; or you could embrace idioms outside those of your customary musical ambiance. Perhaps you could stop playing and look at roses more often.

This question has occurred on the forum in various guises over the last decade. There is an answer somewhere within you, else you would not have bothered asking the question at all. Internet advice has its limitations.

[Bob]

Maybe do a technical routine.  Not much thought involved after it's created.  Long term results that way.  It's easy to schedule.

[thalbergmad]

Take up the banjo.

[gyzzzmo]

Take up the banjo.

... And bang it a few times against the wall. Letting out your most basic emotions does seem to help i heard.

Gyzzzmo

[thalbergmad]

That is a dreadful suggestion

[outin]

Take up the banjo.

I almost bought a banjo the other day, but came to my senses...

[thalbergmad]

Do it, you will never regret it.

Thal

[awesom_o]

Do it, you will never regret it.

Thal

If only the same could be said of the people who live with him 



Just kidding. I loves me a good banjo!

[thalbergmad]

I think that a 2nd instrument that perhaps one does not take as seriously, can assist in regaining the love for ones main instrument.

Thal

[gyzzzmo]

I think that a 2nd instrument that perhaps one does not take as seriously, can assist in regaining the love for ones main instrument.

Thal

I vote for the woodblock.

[amytsuda]

How about not playing those repertoires like Mozart sonatas? I think Mozart sonatas are the problem. The problem is by age 10, all kids start playing Mozart sonatas, but then, a very few pianists can play Mozart sonatas in the convincing manner. Seriously, between 10 years old and Mitsuko Uchida, there's no man land.

I really enjoy playing Mozart sonatas, but I can't play anything differently from 10 years old kids of my friends. My husband even says I must be hearing something in my head that no one else can hear, if I get so much joy out of my Mozart. It's really really depressing.

Claire de lune? Another one of those things, 10 years old are learning it, but again, very few pianists play it convincingly. Debussy is a bit annoying in general IMO.

Rather go for Chopin Nocturne / Impromptu / Ballade, Beethoven sonatas (particularly later ones), Schubert sonatas, Brahms, Rachmaninoff, Tchaikovsky, etc.  

[outin]

If only the same could be said of the people who live with him 

You mean cats? 

I went to a used instrument store with my friend because I thought I would like to buy a cello, just to try it out. They didn't have any. Very few acoustic instruments besides guitars...but they did have a banjo. So I had the choice between an electric bass and a banjo. Didn't buy anything ...

[awesom_o]

So I had the choice between an electric bass and a banjo. Didn't buy anything ...

That's a pretty cruel choice.... didn't they have some nice wooden recorders?

[outin]

That's a pretty cruel choice.... didn't they have some nice wooden recorders?

Maybe they had, but I already have a flute, so didn't look for anything to blow into...

I always wanted to play the electric bass when I was young, though. Just don't think it's fits very well with my present obsession with classical.

[awesom_o]

Maybe they had, but I already have a flute, so didn't look for anything to blow into...

Can you flute it up pretty hard?

Electric bass is..... not much of a solo instrument!

[outin]

Can you flute it up pretty hard?

Is that something dirty? 

Electric bass is..... not much of a solo instrument!

No...but I wanted to play jazz or funk then...

[awesom_o]

Jazz and funk are definitely the preferred literature for electric bass!

I wasn't thinking along the lines of American Pie.... I was just curious if you're an accomplished flautist.

I'm pretty decent on recorders, but hopeless on the transverse flute. I actually have a really beautiful Baroque traverso in boxwood that is worth a small fortune, but it doesn't have a thumbhole, and I can't be bothered with cleaning it, so I don't practice with it

[outin]

Jazz and funk are definitely the preferred literature for electric bass!

I wasn't thinking along the lines of American Pie.... I was just curious if you're an accomplished flautist.

The last time I played was in the beginning of the 80's and I think I only had 3 years of lessons, so no, definitely not...I have considered starting again, but the flute needs new pads first. Although I do love the piano, I sometimes would like to play something I can hold... And take with me, then I could practice at work without bothering anybody.

I'm pretty decent on recorders, but hopeless on the transverse flute. I actually have a really beautiful Baroque traverso in boxwood that is worth a small fortune, but it doesn't have a thumbhole, and I can't be bothered with cleaning it, so I don't practice with it

Is there any instrument you don't play? 

[Bob]

How about the usual solutions?

Find a piece you enjoy working on.

Set a goal for practicing.

Set a goal for performing that piece. 

[awesom_o]

Is there any instrument you don't play? 

I don't play violin, and I suck at guitar!

[pianoslav]

When I was a young piano student, I would learn new pieces in a few hours. I remember sitting at the piano and being so focused and I'd find it very easy and enjoyable.

I think a major factor can be that you're no longer a "young piano student", and you have a lot of responsibilities. Teaching piano, even though it is enjoyable, is still physically draining. I think if you had some other job (not related to teaching or playing piano), piano would be much more of a hobby for you and your desire to practice would be renewed.

[michaeljames]

I studied under a genius, and he often asked me to sing the melodies of different pieces to see how a singer would perform/phrase the piece.

I find this gives phenomenal perspective on the feeling of a piece and greatly enhances my interpretation.

I know there are pieces where "singing" doesn't work too well, and if you're not a singer you also may struggle, but imagine your favorite artist singing the melody...This particular Nocturne is perfect for the approach.

Hope this helps.  Sing it in the shower, on a walk, or simply in your head.

[Bob]

Based on the title of the thread.... I think you'd do well with the blues.

[twofiveone]

I'm a piano teacher. I love my job, it never feels like work and I have some great students. The problem I have is with my own playing. I do find the time to practice, but when I do sit down to play through something it feels like hard work. I think to myself 'what's the point?' as I don't ever play in public.

Why not set an hour of so aside when you can be on your own with the piano.  Get a nice bottle of wine.  Think about how you are feeling and just let your fingers wander over the keys.  Play rubbish if you want to but try to let the piano send your mood back to you.  For me that is the beauty and wonder of the piano, as long as it is beautiful to you it really doesn't matter what anybody else would think, because it is your own emotions not those of others. So because you don't play in public why not indulge yourself? 

[cuberdrift]

I guess I do feel the same. I like to believe that music comes along with faith and a personal conviction in a God, that it is some kind of mysterious power that can overcome any obstacle.

Unfortunately, more often than not, it proves not to be. I cannot practice, or even play around, while hungry, for instance. After a long and tired trip, I cannot play even my favorite piece or improvise to my favorite tune. And when I revisit pieces that brought me to tears within seconds, I sometimes feel aloof to them for unknown reasons.

I am sad to proclaim that music is not powerful as I tend to think, that it does not have the capability to overpower all negativity in life. But, I pray hard and hope that things will change, and that music might prove to me that it can, with worthwhile effort, creativity, and faith, bring us to a higher state of life which we can all profoundly enjoy permanently.

Maybe our relationship with music is not unlike one with a loved one - we may want to believe that we always love them, but we get into fights, we sometimes hate them for some reason, we are sometimes derisive of their very character. But in the long run, they are still...loved ones.

[richie3846]

I went through a similar phase myself and found a solution. I bought some basic but functional recording equipment to help me regain my motivation by working toward a goal. I would practice pieces to a standard I considered to be 'concert standard' then record a performance. Once I collected enough pieces I layed them down onto CDs and gave copies to family and friends. It really helped me rekindle my interest