An awareness of the periods of phrase and breath will help solve the problems, at least in part, that you describe. Notes are good but there still needs to be a message behind them, don't neglect that part.
The rhythm needs to be sharper wherever you have what amounts to a dotted sixteenth followed by a 32nd note. You play it dam-dam-dam, it needs to be daam-dadam. It sounds like you are stressing in some places, it needs to breathe more.