There's "whining" and then there's Whining.

[ahinton]

Or even to do what you can, but better.

It would also be useful to have them watch you work with a student, and give you constructive criticism on what you do right and what you do wrong.

In fact, you could video yourself teaching and post it on youtube, and ask some of us to give advice.  Of course you'd have to consider it carefully. 

There is a point in watching videos analytically, too.  Some really great performers/teachers get results and don't know what they do.  (often they think they know but they are wrong)

I should perhaps point out at this stage that anything that I've written about this has been done from the perspective of a non-teacher and that I am not therefore seeking to suggest that I have a point or points to make about the art of teaching; just thought that maybe I ought to get that one out of the way, lest anyone might wonder...

Best,

Alistair

[nyiregyhazi]

I know how it works. But at least around here practically everyone's data can be accessed anyway. Even those who do not use internet themselves. The databases and traffic are vulnerable, no matter how careful one is.

But the things that I find really important would not be affected by such things...If someone really would steal my identity it would be an annoyance that I would know how to deal with. I am more likely to be hit by a car when I go out and I still do it...

You don't find your time to be of any importance? I'm not among those who are paranoid about identify theft, but I certainly wouldn't fancy it.

[outin]

You don't find your time to be of any importance?

Well, it's relative of course.

But seriously, I would not write something on the net without full anominity that I could not stand by or admit to my employer if it got to that.

then again, if I wanted to make my life into a public performance as some people obviously do, then I would not hesitate to spread it all there

[m1469]

.  

[timothy42b]

 I've been here for 10 years, folks.  Do you really think I'm banking my well being on that stuff?  

I would simply like to step forward now.  

You've been here 2 months longer than me.

Wow!  You'd think if I'd played piano for 10 years I'd be better.  <grin> 

Strange thing though m1469, most people here sincerely want to be helpful.  (there might be a couple who are frustrated with you and will express anger or disappointment, but even those don't seem to actively wish you harm)

So you need not reject every suggestion as out to get you - you are going to appear paranoid that way. 

[nyiregyhazi]

You've been here 2 months longer than me.

Wow!  You'd think if I'd played piano for 10 years I'd be better.  <grin>  

Strange thing though m1469, most people here sincerely want to be helpful.  (there might be a couple who are frustrated with you and will express anger or disappointment, but even those don't seem to actively wish you harm)

So you need not reject every suggestion as out to get you - you are going to appear paranoid that way.  

Agreed. If the purpose is solely to vent then don't waste people's time by asking for advice and then saying you're not interested in even trying it. Just find a hole in the ground to shout down, or something.

[ahinton]

Nothing really new here, folks.  A bunch of twists and turns, people believing they know something they don't and acting accordingly.  I've been in a rut of all ruts (one I do not believe I will get out of by doing the same things I've been doing), that is one thing I believe certain people are actually quite aware of and would not even wish it any other way.  In fact, it's just where you wanted me to be, yes?  Twisting things around, pts, the whole stupid competition thing, hinting at things to make me nervous or self-conscious, posting pseudo philosophical, psychological, or mathematical things and much, much more

Well, don't look at me; all that I did was to ask you what I thought might have been - and indeed come across as - a relatively straightforward question!...

Best,

Alistair

[awesom_o]

I've been in a rut of all ruts.....

I would simply like to step forward now.  

What kind of a rut can you possibly be in with 85 students?

If I had 85 students I'd be making over $200,000 a year!

Whatever 'rut' you are in.... it sounds to me like a pretty severe case of 'first world problems'

 

[pts1]

.

[hardy_practice]

Now you're being New Ageist!

[m1469]

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[thalbergmad]

Sounds like you need a few beers

Thal

[nyiregyhazi]

I am speaking of a general modus operandi that has been observable since day #1, but on which my perspective and reaction to has changed over time and with experience.  The characteristics and characters of the forum have not altogether changed, but are patterned.  

One thing that a person may not understand or know about me is that, while I do not blanketly remember every detail of my entire life and every moment within it all, there are some details that I may have etched into my memory from years (and sometimes more years) ago that still do come into play.  For one example (out of many), I have forever remembered one, quite small comment that one of my teachers made to me in my very first lesson with him, that may not have seemed like something I would have stashed away but, without necessarily trying to do so, I did stash it away.  That is just a small example and is not just about what that particular content is.  There are examples like that for several individuals.  My mind takes these things and utilizes them within a bigger context that may or may not seem to be directly involved with that individual, but upon which I develop a sense of consistencies and/or inconsistencies, as a separate entity (though sometimes related) to an individual's growth (or lack thereof) over time.  

There are several reasons I have ever posted on this forum.  The only one I will say for now has two parts:

1.  One of the aspects of learning that I have felt I most lacked was/is a sense of perspective that helps me hash out a fuller picture, both of whatever my current situation might be, as well as whatever the bigger picture may be in relation to my own circumstances.  I have found that gaining a sense of perspective is both one of the most valuable aspects to growth, as well as one of the most expensive (and that is not just monetarily).

2.  It has always been important to me that if there might even be just one, lonely individual somewhere in the world who absolutely must gain a sense of perspective in a similar way, that it's possible they may do so from what is probably a fairly obscure set of circumstances in what has been my own life.  And yes, while all individuals have probably undergone some sort of walking through fire, I still do believe there are obscurities about some of my own path that will probably not widely apply to all individuals in a direct way.  That is OK with me, though just as I have aimed to learn from others, I would suspect a learner may still observe my visible path and learn something if they might have a tendency to do that.  But, I especially wish to reach that one, even if I look like a fool to many.  Whether or not I have (ever) achieved that is another thing but is not going to be reported to me by those who are judging me and my path.

Didn't understand a word of that. If you expect anyone to relate to these self-indulgent abstract rants, involve specifics. Nobody else can have the first clue as to what any of that is supposed to refer to. You're not being remotely open at all. You're just hiding everything behind vague generic concepts. If you want to spill your guts to an audience than be open about what all these meaningless allusions are supposed to refer to. If you don't want to do that then keep them to yourself, because they mean literally nothing without that. The only way to make a shred of sense of that would be to live in your own head. If you're not going to bother making any of your references meaningful to an external audience, you shouldn't present it to one.

Trying to explain yourself to an audience by alluding to something that happened to you (but which you are prepared to divulge literally nothing about) and then failing to give any evidence reason for referring to a story untold will not make people understand you better. It makes you look utterly deranged and shockingly self-absorbed, without a shred of ability to self-scrutinise or to communicate anything to another person.

[m1469]

.

[awesom_o]

Would you perhaps like some cheese with your whine?

 

[nyiregyhazi]

Because 85 students doesn't translate to 85 hours/week?  Or even half that, since I have 6 classes which carry a large portion of those students.  In my piano classes (4), I must still be quite aware of where each individual student is at, how they learn, what their home life is, and I spend each class helping them individually (as well as group instruction) etc..  My singing classes are a bit different, since they are largely singing together.  Also, there are 4 months of the year that I do not get paid for classes, as well as the fact that private students drop off during the summer (especially during the summers that I was gone for a month, doing my own study).  So, when/if I make "extra" income during any month(s) in the regular school year, it must be rationed for the months that I make zero or significantly less income.  That is part of the reality of not having a University/College/Regular Public School teaching job.

But, I happen to agree that it is indeed (still) a very first world problem.  It turns out we have kept the roof over our head and it is looking more promising that we will continue to do so, but I certainly know now what it is like to walk a very thin line, and to have done so in part just because I loved the piano so much and put a full faith into the endeavor of studying it.  This has all given me a new perspective on those who actually do have 3rd world problems, as well as others with more first world problems.  And, I actually know now that it's very possible for individuals to get stuck, even in a Country like the US, in ruts that are next to impossible to get out of.

If you had any true perspective on third world problems, you wouldn't be here whinging. You might think that making such comments shows you to be a person of empathy. But if you seriously think anything in your life gives you a perspective on real third world problems, your true level of empathy lies close to zero.

If you want something better for yourself then you simply have to become both a truly fantastic teacher and a good publicist. Time spent whinging online is time spent perpetuating your rut (whether you're talking about being in a rut or rambling on about growth).

[m1469]

.

[nyiregyhazi]

As far as I am concerned, I have simply described certain aspects/facts of the reality of being a (type of) musician, with a strange path, who is still trying to make a living as a musician and who was in the middle of important musical growth, in the middle of a severe economic recession - you are the one assigning words like that to it.  How many people are on a career path that is related to their degree at all anymore, despite what that degree was in (let alone music)?  The numbers are getting smaller and smaller, but music (among others) is one that is especially tricky.

Among other things, people should be aware that school loans for music study can be extremely difficult to pay off under certain circumstances and probably will not be paid off with helpful timing through being a music professional.  It's not a fable.  I have a friend who is a talented singer and a favorite of the teacher, who coming into her third year of University was going to need to start taking out loans to continue with schooling, and through some deep considerations decided against continuing her schooling and went into a different profession before school started up again this past Fall.  From where I stand right now, I actually feel that was a very smart decision, and it would take a bit to convince me otherwise.

Did anyone assure you music was ultra high paid? No. You've wet your bed, so now lie in it and just shut up for five minutes. You're owed nothing by the world and it never promised anything to start with. Nobody gives a damn how wronged you feel or whether such minor issues put you in such a foolish position as one in which you think you understand the plight of those who really struggle in the third world. If you want sympathy then you can learn some basic dignity and humility first. Until then, I have literally none.

Anyway, rant away in response about how nobody understands your plight. It's your rut that you're protecting, each time you do so.

[m1469]

.  

[nyiregyhazi]

If we lost our house, had nobody to take us in, and could not rent a house even because we lost a house and it messed up our credit, or could not get a job even at a store because nobody was hiring (we actually did go through that), and we were living on the streets, that is pretty third world, actually.  

You haven't though- which is where the difference lies. So I'm not even reading the rest of this self-absorbed perspective-free drivel. If you'd truly gained any perspective you'd have stopped the egotistical whining about nothing.

[m1469]

.

[pts1]

m1469

You are 38 years old now.

[m1469]

.

[pts1]

.

[m1469]

.

[nyiregyhazi]

Actually, you are wrong, I am actively moving out of it.

Complaining at strangers who couldn't give a damn achieves nothing. Actions achieve things. And, while I've never posted in the last post wins thread, lighthearted posts for fun are more valuable than bitter rants.

[m1469]

.

[nyiregyhazi]

That is my point.

Then stop posting such pointless musings and take some action in the time you would otherwise waste on incomprehensible reams of vaguery.

[m1469]

.

[nyiregyhazi]

I am taking the actions that I need, in the ways that I can, according to me, not you.  Feel free to let these threads die!  People keep them going, even when I don't!  And I've had my share of lighthearted posts, which of course I am criticized for, as well.

Great. Just remember how it's all about you next time you're thinking of wasting people's time by starting a thread asking for advice and instead go at it your way from the start- and preferably keep the whole meaningless process to yourself.

[m1469]

.

[nyiregyhazi]

I didn't ever once ask for advice, as you know.  However, repeated "perspective sharing" has been quite helpful!  

Then why did you post? Simply to request sympathy? Appointing yourself a victim doesn't buy any online.

[lostinidlewonder]

I think some of you need help. So much personal thoughts over another member vented on a group. Im sure you all have many of your own problems, stop making it so obvious you pick on others as a distraction to your own greater personal problems.

[dima_76557]

-

[Bob]

For what it's worth... Group teaching is sloppy.  Aim for the middle.  Do something for the upper and lower ends.  That's about it.  Catch what you can, but there's not enough attention for everyone.  Working in detail doesn't work.  Working at the slowest pace drags the whole group down.  

If it's piano 101, 102 for middle schoolers, I wouldn't worry too much about their future hopes and dreams, etc. in music and arts.  It's just a taste of music through piano.  If they want more, they can get more.  If they walk out with technical things missing, so be it.  As long as they have a good experience, it's good enough for what it is.

[swagmaster420x]

Then why did you post? Simply to request sympathy? Appointing yourself a victim doesn't buy any online.

If I was as disinterested in and put off by m1469's posts as you are painting yourself to be, I would have stopped posting a long time ago.

[hardy_practice]

If we lost our house, had nobody to take us in, and could not rent a house even because we lost a house and it messed up our credit, or could not get a job even at a store because nobody was hiring (we actually did go through that), and we were living on the streets, that is pretty third world, actually. 

No, having to sh*t in the gutter is third world. 

[dima_76557]

-

[ahinton]

m1469

You are 38 years old now. You don't seem to be in touch with reality. Its almost too late for you to have a baby, and I don't think you should You are a child yourself. You should ask for help from the people in your church or your family. I will talk with them if you like. What does your sister say?

I think that the above is entirely out of order.

Best,

Alistair

[swagmaster420x]

I think that the above is entirely out of order.

Best,

Alistair

Dont you have the same attitude eXcept more indirect and circUitous

[ahinton]

Dont you have the same attitude eXcept more indirect and circUitous

I'm sorry, I do not understand; the "same attitude" to what and as whose?

Best,

Alistair

[swagmaster420x]

I'm sorry, I do not understand; the "same attitude" to what and as whose?

Best,

Alistair

That and his you were referring to in the comment of yours I quoted.

[ahinton]

That and his you were referring to in the comment of yours I quoted.

Now I don't even understand your use of English! Can you have another try?

Best,

Alistair

[swagmaster420x]

Now I don't even understand your use of English! Can you have another try?

Best,

Alistair

I'm sorry; what I sought to convey was the impression that the attitude you hold is not altogether different from the one owned by pts1, whose post emphasizing said attitude you appraised to be "entirely out of order"; this attitude is to the main theme of the thread in which this conversation is being made - that theme which I see so often recurring in the annals of  Pianostreet sparking discontentment in such cases as now: m1469 and her personal philosophical posts.

[ahinton]

I'm sorry; what I sought to convey was the impression that the attitude you hold is not altogether different from the one owned by pts1, whose post emphasizing said attitude you appraised to be "entirely out of order"; this attitude is to the main theme of the thread in which this conversation is being made - that theme which I see so often recurring in the annals of  Pianostreet sparking discontentment in such cases as now: m1469 and her personal philosophical posts.

Thank you for your clarity on this.

The particular contents of the post to which I took exception began

"m1469

You are 38 years old now. You don't seem to be in touch with reality. Its almost too late for you to have a baby, and I don't think you should. You are a child yourself. You should ask for help from the people in your church or your family. I will talk with them if you like. What does your sister say?"

The reasons for my reaction are as follows.

1. If such sentiments are to be expressed at all (and I am not implying that they should be), the proper place in which to do so in in a PM or personal email addressed to m1469 herself.

2. Revealing m1469's age (correctly or otherwise) is publishing a statistic that is pesonal and of no relevance to the matter under discussion.

3. To state that m1469 seems not to be in touch with reality is a personal opinion and any public expression of such an opinion should make that clear rather than presenting it as though an incontrovertible fact.

4. The suggestion that it's almost too late for her to have a baby is as offensive as it is inaccurate, since the poster offering it has no idea whether or when she might want to consider doing so and the age of 38 is hardly close to the end of the line for conception these days; more importantly, however, not only would any decision on this be for m1469 and her husband alone to make, it has absolutely no bearing on what's been discussed in the thread.

5. For the poster to add insult to injury by suggesting that m1469 shouldn't have a baby in any case would do better to mind his/her own business since, as I have already stated, that decision is not his/hers to make and, in any case, unless he/she has a longstanding close personal acquiantanceship with m1469, his/her assertion here can have no foundation whatsoever.

6. The suggestion that m1469 (whose age has already been revealed, accurately or otherwise, by the poster as 38) is "a child herself" is gratuitous, especially if the poster is not personally acquainted with her.

7. The suggestion that m1469 seek "help from the people in (her) church or (her) family is likewise gratuitous, since it does not mention what help or for what, why any "church" should be involved or on what grounds which members of her family might beneficially be consulted about what; the poster's offer to "talk with them" smacks of patronising interference and the question of what mayl's sister says about a subject unspecified by the poster is likewise.

I have expressed few views on any aspect of the matter covered in this thread but none that I have expressed are in any sense incompatible either with the reaction that I expressed to the post to which I took exception or indeed to what I've written above in response to yours. For the record and for the avoidance of doubt, I do indeed harbour reservations about the manner and extent to which m1469 follows what has increasingly of late become a common trend to lay bare far more facts and thoughts in a public forum than are likely to be of any benefit to her or to anyone else - the spectacle of such indiscriminately self-enforced public nudity is often a less than welcome one - but my view on this in no wise gainsays my opinion that the post concerned was "out of order".

Best,

Alistair

[swagmaster420x]

Thank you for your clarity on this.

I have expressed few views on any aspect of the matter covered in this thread but none that I have expressed are in any sense incompatible either with the reaction that I expressed to the post to which I took exception or indeed to what I've written above in response to yours. For the record and for the avoidance of doubt, I do indeed harbour reservations about the manner and extent to which m1469 follows what has increasingly of late become a common trend to lay bare far more facts and thoughts in a public forum than are likely to be of any benefit to her or to anyone else - the spectacle of such indiscriminately self-enforced public nudity is often a less than welcome one - but my view on this in no wise gainsays my opinion that the post concerned was "out of order".

Best,

Alistair

Thanks for the reply. It makes sense.

[m1469]

.  

[timothy42b]

6.  I've posted under my real name before (which you supposedly do yourself)

But, only at 6:00, right?

[pts1]

Since m1469 has talked freely about having babies, her "clock" ticking, religion and everything under the Sun one can possibly think of, she has opened these subjects herself and invited feedback.

The way to avoid said feed back and comment is to NOT TALK ABOUT IT.

She has written reams about her and her family's personal lives -- which I find appalling -- in over 10,000 posts (including all her IDs) and given her opinions and argued with people about every subject imaginable.

So since this is an ongoing passion with m1469 -- talking about everything to strangers and asking them for advice -- how can it be inappropriate to engage?

If anything, I'm doing her a gentle favor by trying -- by example -- to show her what can happen when one posts crazily personal stuff on the internet.

Allistair doesn't think I should keep giving her lessons.... but has she learned them?

MAYLA, HAVE YOU LEARNED ANYTHING?

[m1469]

.