Recent graduate...career dilemma :(

[cinnamon21]

Hi Everyone,

I'm a recent bachelor of music graduate who just completed 3 years of my undergraduate degree in Melbourne.
So yesterday, I just found out the result of my last recital.
According to it, I'm not qualified to continue to the honors degree (equivalent to 4th year).

The result was, of course, shocking, since my teacher has always said that I was very well-prepared for the exam. I played Beethoven Sonata, op. 22, Schumann Faschingsschwank Aus Wien, and Britten 'Holiday Diary'. No memory lapses, very fluent throughout....and learned in details (my teacher and I work on the smallest details...like one bar for a long time). I've never learned pieces in such crazy details before.

Some of my friends with good technique, demanding repertoire, and convincing interpretation, also did not get accepted, while someone I know, who had memory lapses, messy playing and pedaling in general, uncontrolled expressions and unnecessary gestures to the point of diarrhea-like playing, get accepted.

I'm not even going to rant about how unfair the marking system is (though I did the whole day yesterday)...because I know how subjective judgment can be...maybe the examiners just didn't like my playing or my style. Maybe I don't have something they're looking for...spontaneity...originality...individuality...extraverted grimacing or expressions...or confidence (yes this one is a problem for me), stage presence...but who knows.

Right now, I'm doubting myself as a pianist, and what I should do next...

I've always wanted to better myself as a pianist, I know everyone does...and I have always thought that getting into honors program would be perfect, because not only can I immerse myself fully in music for one whole year (chambers, concerto, recitals, duos), it will also give me some kind of reassurance that I'm 'good' enough (basically if you get in, it means you might have a future in performance)...so not getting in is like a death sentence for me. I just hate how the marks of a performance can change my life like this.

I talked to my university teacher, but she couldn't care less. Her answer is the usual...well...you know...we can't do anything about it...(If so why would she say that I'm ready...saying that I'm the most prepared out of all her students...giving me false hopes...). 

After hours of brainstorming, soul-searching, and sleepless night, I have come down to 2 options:

1. Go straight into Masters of Performance Teaching in Melbourne, which I've been accepted into. I can't even do a Masters in Music performance here since you need the honors degree to get in. It's a course that combines both performance and teaching, though the performance aspect is not as rigorous. This also means that I will spend most of my time doing essays, internships, and less practice.

2. Take a gap year. Do Lmusa exam. Take private lessons from teacher. Teach in a music school on the side and get many experiences performing, accompanying. Learn as many pieces as possible. Really solidify my technique...and audition for masters somewhere overseas at the end of next year. The pieces I have learned are something along Chopin Ballade No. 2, Debussy Estampes, Chopin Etude Op. 10 no. 8, 10....Mozart Sonata K. 576 (I know I could work on these and make them even better).

I just turned 20 this year...and to be honest, there are still so much more that I want to achieve in performance...before I do what pianists will do to earn a living (not all, but realistically speaking), teaching.

I'm not saying that teaching is bad. I love the idea of teaching.  But I also want 'more', and if getting into a better graduate program will open up more possibilities for my performing career.

If you were me, what will you do?

Will you just settle down on this masters degree...or go for the unknown? Knowing your limit and see if you are good enough for the top schools in UK and USA?

Just wondering.

Thanks everyone.

[verqueue]

So here are my thoughts
- finishing Master of Performance doesn't mean you'll make a career, even at the best schools.

- does finishing Master of Performance mean you'll able to teach at university or college?

- finishing Master of Performance Teaching means you will be ready for the job (I don't know how hard is to get a descent piano teacher job in your country, in my it's rather easy with this kind of degree).

- how involving will be these teaching studies? I'm asking because at my uni, there were not very involving... Maybe you'll be able to study "teaching" and prepare yourself for the exams to get to the Master of Performance program (maybe you'll need private piano teacher also)? Instead of taking a gap year, you'll move on, without losing a possibility to finish what you want.

- if you decide to take gap year you have to be really sure about this, you have to be sure that you are capable of being a professional pianist (I mean here someone who lives only from playing classical).

- ask yourself who you want to be? With your problems with confidence maybe the path of professional pianist isn't the right fit for you. That doesn't mean that you should resign from playing, you still can learn new things, play recitals, love playing piano and you'll never have a pressure at playing. You will still be able to achieve mastery. Consider it carefully.


It's written from my perspective - I got Master of Performance and now I'm not a professional pianist anymore (I have a different job, can't make enough money to live from playing without teaching - I'm awful at it and hate it). I still practice a lot and I love playing more than when I was studying it.

[falala]

Option 2.

Not even necessarily overseas. There are surely other masters programs in Australia?

Do you have / can you raise the money for a couple of years' study overseas, even if you get in?

You're young. You have the passion and determination to do something, so go for it and see what happens. That's what youth is for. You've got plenty of years ahead to get the sensible qualifications and do the sensible job when you need to, but you're only young once.

[1piano4joe]

Hi cinnamon21,

If you were me, what will you do?

Okay, I was in the same exact position 35 years ago.

I don't know how things are in Melbourne but I do know how they are here in the U.S.

I seriously, seriously did NOT want to be a STARVING musician, so I changed my major. That is what I did. Also, I married a critical care nurse who happens (here in the states) to make ridiculous money.

Will you be able to pay a mortgage, taxes, homeowners insurance, flood insurance, gas, electric, water, telephone, cable, home repairs, lawn maintenance, a car payment, gas for that car, car insurance, internet service, etc, etc on a teachers salary?

NO, YOU WILL NOT!

If you say yes and that I am wrong I may have to move to Australia!


That is unheard of here in the states. The large majority of piano teachers here are female and are NOT the primary breadwinner of the household. Hubby is footing the bill.

Financial considerations aside for a moment, did you read some of the horror stories in the teaching forum? They are real and do happen. Are you SURE this is what you want?

Choosing a major here in the United States must be done selectively with job opportunities in mind or college often is a waste of time and money.

Music, theater, dance, elementary education, English majors and many more graduates don't find employment after graduation. For everyone that makes it there are 10,000 that don't. The odds are overwhelmingly against it.

Do you have a minor in Accounting or something like that? I would feel much better knowing you have a practical, realistic backup.

Did you ever hear, "Pray for THE BEST Plan for THE WORST"!

I read in your post the following two points:

1. (basically if you get in, it means you might have a future in performance)...so not getting in is like a death sentence for me. I just hate how the marks of a performance can change my life like this.

2. I love the idea of teaching.  But I also want 'more', and if getting into a better graduate program will open up more possibilities for my performing career.

Point number one used the word "MIGHT" and point number two wants "MORE". Also, the love of the idea of teaching and actually teaching, day after day after day, often Chopsticks to 5 year old children that don't practice, don't care or even want to study piano may alter your perception of teaching.

I feel like deleting my entire post for being so negative. I really, really do but I mean well and I would be remiss if I didn't tell it like it is and sugar coated it instead.

So, my advice to you (remember you did ask for it) is to have a grounded backup plan firmly in place just in case things don't work out which seems to be more often the case in life than not.

I hope I have been helpful, Joe.

P.S. What about children? They cost money to feed, clothe, piano lessons ha ha okay that is one expense you might not have although I do know many, many teachers that won't teach their own children. Anyway, dental bills, maybe braces, sending them to college, bicycles, computers, smartphones are $400 U.S. and video games like xbox etc. all cost money. One child, just one child costs $1,000,000.00 to raise to 21 years of age. That averages to just under $20,000.00 per year.

These are the realities of a family life here in the U.S. Is it so different where you live?

  

[Bob]

Add another dose of reality... Forget having kids.  Forget having a stable marriage.  Music will have to come above all else if you do it professional.  Everything else is second. (which means not-at-all for some that.)

You're also looking at skimping on some of those expenses.  Cable tv?  You won't miss it.  You don't have time for tv anyway, so definitely don't bother paying for that at all.  That would be an interesting Plan B for a career.  Haha.


I thought piano4joe's post was ok.  I've heard $12,000/year for working "blue class" musicians.  If you make it above that, great.  Some make $30,000/year performing.  Some even $100,000+.  But at those levels, it's easier to become a professional athlete I've heard.  There are more pro athlete jobs out there than pro musician jobs that pay that well.

[cinnamon21]

Thanks for the answers everyone.

I don't necessarily want to become a concert pianist or anything...but I want to become a good performer and a good teacher....so I think I'll do the gap year...build my confidence through learning, teaching, and performing...and see if this is the kind life that I want to live with for the rest of my life, before doing masters.

I just want to be a good musician. But now I feel incompetent and insulted with the marks they give me...which makes me doubt my ability...which leads me to think if I should give up or not...

But I realize it's stupid. I will never give up on piano. It's the very thing that makes me feel alive. I think I will die happy if I can play the pieces I love how I want it to be...watching my students' progress and learn from them...exchanging ideas...keep learning more about music...

And I'll try to ignore those people who'll look down on me for pursuing a career in music even after I don't get into honors...even if I'm not as good as Lang Lang or whoever... (so many people are trying to bring me down...my uncles, aunties...who secretly talk about my stupid dreams behind my back...comparing me to their kids who are majoring in something more practical... random people like taxi drivers, airport staffs, waiter,....who belittle piano teachers...they laugh and cringe when I tell them I major in music and that I want to be a teacher). 

[gr8ape]

Some of my friends with good technique, demanding repertoire, and convincing interpretation, also did not get accepted, while someone I know, who had memory lapses, messy playing and pedaling in general, uncontrolled expressions and unnecessary gestures to the point of diarrhea-like playing, get accepted.

I'm not even going to rant about how unfair the marking system is (though I did the whole day yesterday)...because I know how subjective judgment can be...maybe the examiners just didn't like my playing or my style. Maybe I don't have something they're looking for...spontaneity...originality...individuality...extraverted grimacing or expressions...or confidence (yes this one is a problem for me), stage presence...but who knows.

Its because you didnt suck the right dicks, or you didnt suck enough dicks. The judges and staffs dick need a thorough sucking to be benevolent.

[louispodesta]

Its because you didnt suck the right dicks, or you didnt suck enough dicks. The judges and staffs dick need a thorough sucking to be benevolent.

Very, very true:  politics is politics, whether it is external or internal.  This is a life lesson they do not teach in university.

Next, you say that you do not desire to be a concert pianist, yet you get your feelings hurt when your college says that your playing is not up to par.  Well, instead of supposing, I would like you to post a recording of your jury, or if not, a recording of your own doing with the same repertoire.

That is if you are for real, and you might well be, but at this point in time, I just don't know. Just asking for sympathy is not a solution.

[theholygideons]

Its because you didnt suck the right dicks, or you didnt suck enough dicks. The judges and staffs dick need a thorough sucking to be benevolent.

Finally, someone with intelligensia

[dima_76557]

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[amytsuda]

But I realize it's stupid. I will never give up on piano. It's the very thing that makes me feel alive. I think I will die happy if I can play the pieces I love how I want it to be...

Good realization! Me too! You are young enough, I won't worry. People do change careers later when they finally got enough of one. People with a good corporate salary quit and start a restaurant investing their whole saving, for example. I know pianists, vocalists, violinists who decide to pursue something else later in 20's or early 30's. As far as you know you can financially survive in the next 6-12 months, at the age 20 you shouldn't worry too much (since all other kids with practical degrees are in the same spot...practical degrees don't mean they can earn money next). But it's more important that you'd really try hard to improve your piano and gain experience during this time. What makes a difference is the focus, dedication and effort. Lazy people with practical degrees won't get anywhere. Diligent people with piano degree will get somewhere. You can't change your in-born talent, but you can change your efforts.

And efforts include not just practicing but everything else including politics some people point out. If you want to make something happen, think what are needed to make it happen, and do them. Some people hate polishing apples. But think about this. From receivers' viewpoints, if someone is polishing apples and you are not, I'd judge the former has more will and desire to succeed. And I want to choose ones who have the desires. The mistake is I may forget the in-born talent or efforts into other aspects of success by the person. Humans are impressionists. It's a pity that they may not have realized how much you wanted (or indeed others really wanted it more than you do).

In the end, there are too many good pianists. And with good education, many of them do achieve certain levels. So they may be judging people not based on today's skills, but based on long-term potentials which are often BS but nonetheless, this happens.

[avguste]

You don't need a diploma to be a performer. What you need is:

1. believe in yourself
2. promote yourself (website, facebook, youtube,twitter)
3. contact presenters in your area/country (I am assuming you are in Australia) and attempt to secure engagements for yourself.

The more you perform, the more success you will get.