2 little Compositions

[qatarsis]

Hi guys,

I've wrote 2 little piano pieces recently and would really like to know what you think about it. They're quite simple and i hope they're telling some kind of story somehow, that's what i wanted to achieve at least.
I'm very interested to hear some opinions or get some critical feedback, suggestions etc.
hope you enjoy this !

https://soundcloud.com/qatarsis/paeniotric-euphoria
https://soundcloud.com/qatarsis/unburdened

cheers
philipp

[faulty_damper]

The harmonies in Paeniotric Euporia don't sound right; resolutions at too "classical" for the progressions.  You should be able to change and improve them.  Musically, ideas meander and are not developed.  Performance-wise, it's too slow to capture/express the mood.

Unburdened has similar issues, the resolutions not an issue.  It's almost as if these are improvisations, not really compositions.

[qatarsis]

thanks alot for your feedback, it's much appreciated!

yea, i'm new to composition i'd say, never seriously composed anything and i dont really know  what's the point to call a little piano piece a "composition" or what differentiates a composition from a improvisation. i always thought improvisation was some kind playing style, where you dont know what comes in the next moment. when i was "writing" these little pieces i just put phrases together which (in my opinion) fitted to each other in some kind of way. do you mean with "meander" a too abrupt change ? or do you feel that the different musical sequences dont fit to each other in terms of "telling a story" ?

what do you mean with:"resolutions at too "classical" for the progressions"
and what do you think about a more developed musical idea ? shall i develop those little phrases more and more until they lead to the next phrase and give them more time to evolve ? i usually intended these pieces to be not too long.

sorry, but i'm not sure if i really got what you wanted to tell me.

best regards
philipp

[faulty_damper]

The resolutions sound like typical classical harmonies, not in the same style as the chord progressions in the piece.  I don't know how to explain this since I'm not well versed in pop harmonies, but the progression is very pop, but it ends differently than is expected for the progression, like a very obvious I (tonic).

The ideas should say something.  Then it should be advanced either by elaboration or contrasting ideas.

[qatarsis]

I never really thought about terms like 'classical' or 'pop', i just make music that sounds and feels right to me to be honest. What influence do such terms make at least on the music itself ? Is it some kind of "forbidden" thing, to use classical Resolutions in "pop'ish" chord progressions? When i was writing those pieces i wanted to tell a little story somehow, that was my main goal i think.

I get the point of a more diverse elaboration or adding some contrasting ideas, but i dont know if this is really necessary because i tried to give those pieces different musical ideas which are (hopefully) diverse enough to set different "characters" or moods

[faulty_damper]

I wasn't thinking in those terms, either.  It's just a way to describe what I was hearing.  The chord progressions don't resolve in the same style.

[mussels_with_nutella]

Qatarsis, I have never composed (well, sometimes, but I didn't like the result), but I improvise a lot, and maybe you can estimate my opinion

The first chords (until 7th second) were wonderful, and they promised me a music with strange harmonies (strange in a highly positive way). With harmony I mean not-usual chords like major or minor, and progressions going up and down (in semitones and so on). It would have been a great idea (for next composition ), but it wasn't like that, it ended normally, but beautifully.

The problem, for me, is that you repeat the same until 35th second, doing slight variations. And it tired me (don't take it personally, it's what I, as the audience, felt). The same happens afterwards, when you play the same progression all the time. But still the problem is not that you don't change the progression: It's the way the "melody" sounds.

About the melody, it seems like you choose a pattern, tac... tac tac... tac tac, tac... tac tac... tac tac, tac... and use it playing notes which "sound well to the chord", but no melody is defined, it sounds like "chill out music". If you wanted to create chill out, you did it, but i think it was not the idea. If it was a vocal melody line, it sounds a bit like Coldplay and so on, but if that was your aim, you should do contrasts because: it is beatiful but too much of the same is tiring. Maybe at the accompanigment.

Lastly, about the structure in general of the music: You develop 3 different themes:
1) The first one, whose first chords i like but the others no, and it repeats.
2) The second one, that although well connected to the first one has a huge contrast (it is very quiet and peaceful)
3) The third one, with the same chords as the second one, but with another pattern. I personally don't like the compositions "in patterns", like... first one pattern, then another, then another... it tires me. If you can alternate patterns, mix, do phone calls to previous patterns for a few seconds to express something, and so on... it could be very rich (you did a bit in unburdened, at 1:25, i liked it. But i missed much more "combinations of ideas, changes...") but it's okey if you want it like this.

The problem about the structure: The middle and end are completely different from the beginning. If you wanted to do like a "introductory beginning", you failed (in my opinion) because it took you 30 seconds. I would have cut it at 7th second.

Last thing: You didn't finish the songs. There is no ending, no close, it's in the air... something more acute with the first päniotric euphoria.

[qatarsis]

wow, thanks alot for your response mussels . this really helps me out alot ! very nice and clear suggetsions which i'll definitely take an advantage from.
I'd love to let those pieces be not too long (that was one of my goals) i'll cut the beginning alot and see what i can do.
i must say, that i'm a big fan of more chill'ish, simple, reduced music (for example erik satie is one of my main inspirations i'd say)
but i get your point, it's at places too repetitiv, i can achieve variations just with little changes and those changes may cause a relatively big effect hopefully
and the idea of the "phone calls" is also very very nice !
i'll keep on working on them for sure, again thanks alot man, much appreciated

best regards
philipp

[mussels_with_nutella]

Happy that it helped you!!!