New to forum and returning after a very long time

[alibat]

Hi.  I live in England and found this forum whilst googling advice for returnees.  After tinkering very occasionally on and off the last few years and getting incredibly frustrated, I've finally decided to take the plunge and get back to playing properly.  I've got my mum's beautiful Grotein piano to relearn on.  I'm now 45 and I last had lessons when I was about 16/17.  At the time I had passed grade 7 and started on grade 8.  My mum was my teacher and professional pianist.  I could cry at things at could once play well (even at age 12) that I struggle with now.  I'm probably about a grade 3 now if I'm lucky . The other day I tried some scales, what I nightmare!  Fingers got in complete knots.  Still seem able to read music on the whole but my fingers are way behind my brain!  Got my first lesson tonight and I'm really nervous.  I never did like playing in front of others and it just got worse the older I got.  It was one of the major reasons for stopping as I just couldn't cope with anymore exams.  Any recommendations and advice would be great.  Thanks.

[thalbergmad]

I too had a massive gap, albeit about 5 years shorter than yours. Like you, I despised exams, hated playing in front of others and got stressed about lessons.

As adults, we have nobody to push us into things, so you don't have to perform, take exams or even had lessons. You can go at your own pace, play when you want to and the results in time will come.

I enjoy playing now more than ever and I have not had a lesson for years.

Tha

[outin]

I restarted at 45 as well with a total absense from any keys for almost 30 years. It is great that one can do as one pleases and make one's own choices on music. I play when I please and definitely would not bother with exams or torture myself with recitals.

I like to have lessons though, and they seemed to be necessary for any real progress. I think now after a few years I could get somewhere without them as well, but they have grown on me. I have very bad lessons occasionally, but who cares, I pay the poor teacher for suffering through them. I guess I kind of like the stress lessons create as well...

I think you'll be surprised how fast one can get better even when middle aged if one enjoys the work Make sure you choose music you like!

[zillybug]

I restarted later than you at 65 after 45 years. Yes at first, I could read the music but my fingers would not do what I wanted and I would get frustrated. It has been over 4 years now since I started taking lessons again and I absolutely love it. I also never liked to play in front of people although when I was younger it did not bother me to play in front of just my teacher. Well, when I first started lessons again, I was so nervous playing at my lessons. i would constantly mess up.
 I was practicing 2 hours a day but you would not have known it at my lessons. I was glad I was his first student of the day. I would often be at the school practicing before my lesson and he would hear it. He used to joke and ask me if I wanted him to stand in the hall for my lesson since it sounded great then. I am happy to say that I am now much more comfortable during lessons. I still don't enjoy recitals but I do them.
Judy

[alibat]

Thanks everyone.  Judy, that does give me encouragement as most people I've heard who've restarted had had much shorter breaks than me.

Well the first lesson was really just talking and discussing what my aims were etc.  I felt really nervous.  I did have a play, and made a botched attempt at the first movement of Beethoven's Moonlight.  I'd played it better alone before I went but nerves got the better of me.  However, she was very encouraging and said that I that underneath I still had it in me.  Wasn't too keen on the piano, but I'll get used to it.  Much prefer my own old big upright Grotain Steinweg Nachf  to any modern small upright I've ever come across anyday.

[amytsuda]

Maybe, the discussion is completed, but anyhow, I just wanted to jump in that I am one of returnees!

I played piano till 16. I didn't have a real teacher but I had a neighborhood music prof sort of teaching me and giving me all sorts of scores. Then, I didn't play for 25 years. Then, 4 years ago I quit my corporate job and started doing an independent project, so I got time, and that made me to sit in front of my husband Clavinova (my husband is tenor). 2 years ago, I finally had a courage to seek out a teacher, so I randomly reached out some teachers I find online and some bluntly declined they are not in the business to teach those uncommitted adult hobbyist!! I had a luck to get a teacher from conservatory takes me, and that was quite a shocking experience. I realized I never learned how to play piano. His lesson was half fitness class and half greek (music, I guess?). But then, as I do travel a lot for my projects, I disappear weeks sometimes, and he got really tired of teaching such an "uncommitted" adult student. I kinda got fired that he wants to teach me only if I commit to a regular weekly lesson schedule. Now my friend helped me find the another teacher who is more focused on enjoying music (more like my childhood prof), so it is okay so far... 

I'd say you should not worry about how well you play or what teachers would think. We are not any more a fit for those pianist production machines. Nor we don't need to join a recital to please all those adults paying our piano lesson fees. We play piano just for ourselves and pay for lessons ourselves.

I wish more and more adults play piano just simply to enjoy, like we may cook to enjoy, or go jogging to enjoy. Every mom is the best cook, and every household can have the best pianist.

[ted]

I agree with the others. One of the great things about getting older is that nobody expects you to set the world on fire any more. You have nothing to prove. You can play what you please and how you please and are free to ignore praise and criticism, conventions, rules, shoulds and ought tos. I had no break from playing but the last formal regular lessons I had were almost fifty years ago. The physical agility might need a few patient months. Just allow it to return naturally without trying to force it too quickly.