How to balance improvement with self-confidence?

[dogperson]

I am a returning piano student after more than 40 years of inactivity and certainly know of the work to regain lost skill, as well as move up. I have worked very hard in the last year.   The issue is that I have a new piano teacher who is really doing what I want and need: analysis and criticism of each nuance.  I want that, but the downside is that I don't feel I do ANYTHING well.  Has anyone else experienced this and how was it resolved?  As a teenager, I abounded in confidence that has dwindled as a returning adult... and now is non-existant.  How do you balance the instruction while retaining a positive attitude about where you are?  I have considered discussing this with my teacher, and maybe I should, but I don't want her to start giving pats on the head rather than thoughtful criticism. This loss of confidence is my internal issue, not how she teaches.   All thoughts and experiences are welcome.

[diomedes]

My typical attitude with things is i derive little from comments on what i do, i know if i did something to a reasonable standard or not and that's enough for me. If i was you i'd try to evaluate if you're making overall progress or not. If there's progress then that's the most important part, if you want more progress then do more of what you do.

Maybe it helps, maybe not, keep at it all the same.

[outin]

I am a returning piano student after more than 40 years of inactivity and certainly know of the work to regain lost skill, as well as move up. I have worked very hard in the last year.   The issue is that I have a new piano teacher who is really doing what I want and need: analysis and criticism of each nuance.  I want that, but the downside is that I don't feel I do ANYTHING well.  Has anyone else experienced this and how was it resolved?  As a teenager, I abounded in confidence that has dwindled as a returning adult... and now is non-existant.  How do you balance the instruction while retaining a positive attitude about where you are?  I have considered discussing this with my teacher, and maybe I should, but I don't want her to start giving pats on the head rather than thoughtful criticism. This loss of confidence is my internal issue, not how she teaches.   All thoughts and experiences are welcome.

Same thing happened to me when I found my present teacher who also picks on every little detail. I lost all my confidence. I suffer from memory issues, so just remembering everything to correct is taxing...and in addition to that I am finding other things myself that need to be better. I wish I could say it gets better but after 4 years I still lack confidence and often feel like a total failure on lessons or when listening to my own playing. But somehow I have managed to make that into a motivational force, I sit down work until I get it right and I do mostly enjoy that work. But I am yet to learn to "just play" without worrying about details and how inferior my playing is...

I've thought about it at some point, is it reasonable to be with a teacher who teaches like I am supposed to be a real pianist while I will always just be a poor amateur? Maybe not, but in the end I would still be aware of my shortcomings and without such a teacher, I doubt I would be able to change them.

[bronnestam]

I like to think that critizism is a kind of compliment.    As a writer, I have often given critizism to other aspiring writers. Thing is, that my critizism automatically is much harder on good texts than on bad ones. In the former case, I see that here is something worth working with, something really worth improving. If the text is a hopeless case, then I just try to find something encouraging to say, because this writer is not ready for serious critizism yet.

So when a teacher is picky on me, I believe it means that I am pretty good. I feel like a star: now we are really getting down to serious business! I mean, I don't pay for lessons just to get admiration from my teacher, that is not her job! I go to lessons to IMPROVE.

No, I don't intend to become a famous or professional pianist either, but when I'm working at the piano, I like to be as serious as I can. In that very moment, I am a professional and a star. What differs me from a real pro is that I cannot and don't want to spend full-time at the piano; I simply have other tasks to focus on. Therefore the natural result is that I don't play as good as a professional do, but why compare? I do it as good as I can, in my own little bubble of reality.

[yadeehoo]

I like to think that critizism is a kind of compliment.    As a writer, I have often given critizism to other aspiring writers. Thing is, that my critizism automatically is much harder on good texts than on bad ones. In the former case, I see that here is something worth working with, something really worth improving. If the text is a hopeless case, then I just try to find something encouraging to say, because this writer is not ready for serious critizism yet.

So when a teacher is picky on me, I believe it means that I am pretty good. I feel like a star: now we are really getting down to serious business! I mean, I don't pay for lessons just to get admiration from my teacher, that is not her job! I go to lessons to IMPROVE.

No, I don't intend to become a famous or professional pianist either, but when I'm working at the piano, I like to be as serious as I can. In that very moment, I am a professional and a star. What differs me from a real pro is that I cannot and don't want to spend full-time at the piano; I simply have other tasks to focus on. Therefore the natural result is that I don't play as good as a professional do, but why compare? I do it as good as I can, in my own little bubble of reality.

That was super inspiring, thank you

[michael_sayers]

I like to think that critizism is a kind of compliment. 

Hi bronnestam,

It isn't always a compliment in disguise, though.  If it feels to be a bit much, or if it seems like the teacher has something to prove that isn't really music related (and maybe is due to issues in the teacher's personal life), it can be best to move on, in my opinion.


Mvh,
Michael

[dogperson]

Hi bronnestam,

It isn't always a compliment in disguise, though.  If it feels to be a bit much, or if it seems like the teacher has something to prove that isn't really music related (and maybe is due to issues in the teacher's personal life), it can be best to move on, in my opinion.


Mvh,
Michael

Hi Michael,

I really believe the issue is mine, not my teacher's. On good days, I agree with Bronnestam that she would not be looking at every nuance unless there was promise.  I come home from lessons,often discouraged, but at the same time, with so much to think about. She is doing what I want and need, but it is difficult for me to retain optimism and confidence, as I have lost a lot in these many years.  During bad intervals, it feels hopeless.  Everyday as I practice, I try to remind myself of how far I have come in the last year, and not worry about where I can get.  It is tough, but I am working hard at maintaining focus, rather than dwelling on the loss.  I have bought a sign for above my piano:  "I never said it would be easy.  I said it would be worth it." I am keeping Bronnestam's note, as it was very motivational and does help me keep going.  One day at a time is tough.

[brogers70]

Dogperson, I've felt similarly. One thing that has helped has been to have people hear me who only hear me every few months. They tend to notice improvements which I cannot notice as easily because they are gradual and because I'm always trying to focus on fixing the things my teacher says are wrong.

[louispodesta]

Hi Michael,

I really believe the issue is mine, not my teacher's. On good days, I agree with Bronnestam that she would not be looking at every nuance unless there was promise.  I come home from lessons,often discouraged, but at the same time, with so much to think about. She is doing what I want and need, but it is difficult for me to retain optimism and confidence, as I have lost a lot in these many years.  During bad intervals, it feels hopeless.  Everyday as I practice, I try to remind myself of how far I have come in the last year, and not worry about where I can get.  It is tough, but I am working hard at maintaining focus, rather than dwelling on the loss.  I have bought a sign for above my piano:  "I never said it would be easy.  I said it would be worth it." I am keeping Bronnestam's note, as it was very motivational and does help me keep going.  One day at a time is tough.

I, too, came back to piano in my 50's.  My first step was to find the best technique person  I could find as a coach, not a teacher.  People our age don't need teachers, they need coaches.

Secondly, after my coach (who taught me a lot) unceremoniously dumped me, then I decided to contact an author of a book he recommended on technique.  And, that was Dr. Thomas Mark, who is the author of the acclaimed (and widely department chair owned) book, "What Every Pianist Needs To Know About The Body."

Subsequently, I flew five hours each way to his studio in Portland, Oregon, to take a five hour lesson.  After that, he coached me by distance learning for a few years until I flew back for another two hour lesson.  He really is that good.

Specific to your post, he instilled in me the following causal logic:  if after working on a section of a piece for just two days, if it isn't getting any better, then you stop, tear it down, and re-address the problem.  Playing it over and over again is just going to jam your brain up with negativity, especially in terms of confidence.

The point is that what this did for me is that I cannot get down on myself when a piece does not progress like I want it to.

Secondly, if you want to take your playing to the next level, his second real book (his first is more like a very helpful somewhat technical reference workbook) is "Motion, Emotion, and Love," (www.pianomaop.com.)  In this tomb, written by a man who has three degrees in philosophy from Columbia University, he fully addresses the matter of "Self," as it relates to the piano.

Good luck to you, and you may contact me by personal message if you have any further questions.

[dogperson]

Dear Louis

I saw your reference to this book in another post of yours, and it has already been added to my shopping cart on Amazon.  I appreciate the offer of personal help and I will avail of your kind offer.  I am attending an adult piano bootcamp in early June, and am sure I will need advice following that.
Thanks again