1000000 ways to recognize a person who is not a serious pianist.

[Sasha42196]

Should have been 121-122

121.  Spelling Rachmaninoff as ROCKmaninoff

122.  Complaining that moving a piano is more difficult than playing one.

[pytis]

123: making fun of liszt pieces by sayng "reces pieces"

[pytis]

ignoring the best sheet music website ( www.abrahamespinosa.com ) becouse its in another language
 

[Siberian Husky]

being mexican

[ahmedito]

I resent that!

I am mexican, and I happen to know several excelent mexican pianists (although Ill grant you that they dont study in Mexico, because I have to admit the quality of piano education IN Mexico is terrible)

[AvoidedCadence]

124.   Familiar with stereotypes of every piano composer but none of the literature.

When discussing repertoire, tells you s/he can play Chopin's Op. 10 No 3, and comments on how "beautiful" it is.  Doesn't react when you mention Op. 10 No 4 and the 4th ballade in your repertoire, but when the name Rachmaninoff comes up (two slow preludes - Op 32 5 and 10) exclaims in admiration, "Ooh... the Rachmaninoff pieces are very difficult, aren't they?" 

[Kassaa]

People who think that Beethoven's fifth symphony is a piano piece.

People who say ta ta ta taaaaaa (fifth symphony) when you tell that you play piano.

[Siberian Husky]

I resent that!

I am mexican, and I happen to know several excelent mexican pianists (although Ill grant you that they dont study in Mexico, because I have to admit the quality of piano education IN Mexico is terrible)

sorry if i seriously offended you..it was only a joke...i too am mexican..and my family doesnt see why i play piano they think im trying to be white...PLUS..i'v never met another mexican pianist...all pianists at my local school are either caucasian or asian....

and its not just piano education thats terrible in mexico...MOST education in mexico is terrible..i schooled there for some years..in Durango...ugh..what a government

[kilini]

125. People who say "WOW" when you play Fur Elise's main theme.

Actually I own a piano arrangement of the fifth symphony.

126. When your teacher thinks you are a child prodigy because you play so much better than her other students and can't notice that it's the stupid way she is teaching them that's crippling them.

[pytis]

126. pieople who call piano pieces songs ( me a couple of minutes ago )

[kilini]

Glad you took my advice, pytis, but this was mentioned in the first couple posts. 

[pytis]

i have bad... whats that thing called again.............................................................................................. .........memory...
there we go

[Siberian Husky]

people who only think classical music is good in techno remixes

[piano_luvr]

Are these really lists of people who aren't serious "PIANISTS", or those who aren't "serious" about piano??

Because, I think that a person can be "serious" about learning how to play the piano, but just simply doesn't know (yet) all of the theory, composers, pieces, fingering, etc.  IN onther words, I think that a person can be serious about learning, but simply isn't "educated" in a lot of piano techniques, skils,  and history.  But that doesn't automatcially make someone "uninterested" or "not serious".

Plus, I've always wondered what the real definition of the word "pianist" is anyway.  Is this someone who has been playing piano for 10 years+, competes in competitions,knows music theory,  and can play difficult pieces well?  OR, is a "pianist" simply someone who just plays piano?

I know these questions may sound silly to some (sorry!) but I'm new to the whole piano and music theory area.  I've had private lessons before, and have had a piano in my home since I was 3, but I"m still struggling with music theory and sight-reading.  So, I guess you could say I'm a beginner.  :-/

[lagin]

68.  Thinks that a hemiola is a disease

What is it?  That's the missing word from my vocabulary definitions and I need to know for a tests in a couple weeks!

BTW, who locked you in a practice room and why

[pytis]

127: if you go to their house and its nothing buy beginer books and cd's no intermidiet or advanced

[Skeptopotamus]

when they think Nobuo Uetsumo (or w/e) is the ultimate composer for piano.



But seriously.  I have a more specific example.  I have a friend, and yeah s/he's very nice and all, but im very skeptical (no pun) of his/her real abilities.  (i know alot of people feel the same way about me, but dun change the subject).  I'm obviously not gonna say who it is cause this person is still cool, but i mean really.  this person has only been with a teacher 1 year and without 2 years, and claims:

to be able to play the Prokofiev Sonata No. 1
the shostakovich p/fs are too easy for him/her
s/he claims to have sightread Scarbo and found nothing difficult about it
asked me why some Eb's in one octave didnt make the E's flat in other octaves (or didnt know they werent)
sightread Herma and saw no real difficulty in it, but after explaining to this person that this was as difficult as it is suddenly was agreeing
toys around with Islamei and has no problem with it
memorized/played the first page of the bowen toccata in one day, even though the time s/he claimed to have practiced it was 10PM
claims to play some of the most difficult chopin etudes
was unimpressed with a La Campanella that was played in something like 3 minutes.
didnt know what the Liszt HR 2 was
claimed to be able to play Ligeti's Fanfares
thinks s/he could play the Ginastera Sonata but not the prokofiev toccata
knows almost no music terms
had never heard feux d'artifice and doesnt think it looks too hard
didnt know the names of the pedals


sorry you, but i couldn't help it any more ><  when you claimed to be playing the bowen toccata after only a year of playing, when that piece nearly killed me, it really annoyed me.  Am i just bad and took a long time to learn, or is this person full of BS?


sorry again, but everyone on here thinks im a jerk and i doubt i could change their minds by now, so i don't really have any scruples in doing this, but i am keeping you anonymous, so don't hate me too much =P

[pytis]

you should ask him/her to play in in front of you and see if its BS

[pytis]

... was gona say something but deleted it nm

[Skeptopotamus]

i dont know this person in real life, so i cant, and they dont have a mic or cam.

[pytis]

if its online chating than i would say its around 60%-70% BS think about it how many times you lied online to impress someone that they cant prove that its false

[Skeptopotamus]

........... *is thinking*



definitely BS ^^

[Kassaa]

125. People who say "WOW" when you play Fur Elise's main theme.

Actually I own a piano arrangement of the fifth symphony.

126. When your teacher thinks you are a child prodigy because you play so much better than her other students and can't notice that it's the stupid way she is teaching them that's crippling them.

Yeah yeah, I know that Liszt made a piano transcription, but the people who know that are pretty serious I think

[tds]

128. proud to be able to play "furry leaves"* tds

* THE cute piece

[Skeptopotamus]

when you get over to their place and all they have is a 40 key keyboard.
when they ask you why there are pound signs all over their music.



and cmon guys.  all of us at one point thought the Moonlight Sonata and Fur Elise and Turkish March was the epitome of virtuosity.

[pytis]

turkish march is like my fave piace i can play. it RULLEZZZ becouse my sis used to play it to me when i was little... ahh memories

[Siberian Husky]

when they say Mozart has fury..and lacks the moisture...and when one is tight wit dey bad self..

[nanabush]

129:  should I sculpt the penis?
130:  do I play with my penis?
131:  do I conduct with my penis?

[thierry13]

129: should I sculpt the penis?
130: do I play with my penis?
131: do I conduct with my penis?

?? OMG.... 

[Siberian Husky]

129:  should I sculpt the penis?
130:  do I play with my penis?
131:  do I conduct with my penis?

Nick Pelletier is that you!?!?!..whats up man how you been?!?!

[nanabush]

Nick Pelletier is that you!?!?!..whats up man how you been?!?!

Ya it's me, sorry but who are you again?...

[i_m_robot]

2- When playing the third movement of the moonlight, will play the left hand in C major and and right hand in C# minor

self is guilty of this

self was just toying with this piece  (beginner)

however

self did notice something was wrong

[i_m_robot]

One can easily discern the segment of society not promoting, unequivocally, his or her unrelenting sentiment toward being a pianist by observing two pivotal factors.

132: He or she demonstrates or expresses an outward, general disdain for the instrument currently in discussion whilst, en même temps, appropriately illuminating the complete and total absense of said instrument within his or her residence.

133: He or she, whilst in the mist of conversing about said instrument, gives a quote similar yet not limited to, Yes, I study the 88, but, sadly, I must concede, my engrossment is substantially lax or limited to enjoyment for sheer aesthetic value.

[Siberian Husky]

Ya it's me, sorry but who are you again?...

ah you have no idea who i am..and i have no idea who you are..for i just got your name from your email adress MUAHAHAHA welcome to PF..its great here make yourself at home

[Siberian Husky]

One can easily discern the segment of society not promoting, unequivocally, his or her unrelenting sentiment toward being a pianist by observing two pivotal factors.

132: He or she demonstrates or expresses an outward, general disdain for the instrument currently in discussion whilst, en même temps, appropriately illuminating the complete and total absense of said instrument within his or her residence.

133: He or she, whilst in the mist of conversing about said instrument, gives a quote similar yet not limited to, Yes, I study the 88, but, sadly, I must concede, my engrossment is substantially lax or limited to enjoyment for sheer aesthetic value.

Translation for Hoodlum Minorities:

132: This foo be frontin like diss his turf but he aint even up on dat mouth piece n aint even keepin it real wit his homies bout how he be on doze pizziano keys like dey be on fiah.!!

132: Dude be talkin smack like he all up on doze black n whites but on da real, foo cant even reprezent like iss bout it bout it. So dis jigga be straight posin like a down loc G at da Pizzy..but on da real, juzz innit fo' da ladies...word

Thank you for endulging yourselves in Ghetto Translation.

[bernhard]

ah you have no idea who i am..and i have no idea who you are..for i just got your name from your email adress MUAHAHAHA welcome to PF..its great here make yourself at home

One of the funniest things I've ever read.

[Lischoalk]

133: Short hair.

[i_m_robot]

Translation for Hoodlum Minorities:

132: This foo be frontin like diss his turf but he aint even up on dat mouth piece n aint even keepin it real wit his homies bout how he be on doze pizziano keys like dey be on fiah.!!

132: Dude be talkin smack like he all up on doze black n whites but on da real, foo cant even reprezent like iss bout it bout it. So dis jigga be straight posin like a down loc G at da Pizzy..but on da real, juzz innit fo' da ladies...word

actually self believes the translation would be something like this

132: Some cat says dey hate the 88 and dat dey don even own a piano

133: I ONLY LIKE FUR ELISE TIGHTWAD!!!

[i_m_robot]

133: Short hair.

Self takes offense to this.

This is clearly a specist statement .

  just kidding

134 (skip any?): Another aspect allowing one to easy discern the so-called serious pianist from the blahzay is the attire of the pianist. Any serious pianist always dressed in only the most expensive of tuxedo, making sure it solid black as white and other colors arreserved for quayars and the hopelessly confused. He has his shoes polished by personal servant only. Never tip, the servant knows his place. He must always approach the piano from the stage front, place his left hand upon the piano, and take a bow, never bending to little or too much. He avoids rude jesters, such as flailing of one's arms and wobbling of ones head whilst grimacing, in order to appear better in control of his intrument. At the conclusion of his performance he always plays an encore after taking three bows. The encore should be no shorter than three minute, but no longer than ten -regardless of whatever fatigue he feels from his previous performance. He must make it lively so as to wake those who feel asleep during the sonata part of the program. After the encore he must meet with audience and reporters alike where he must, with great emphasis, deny he has any talent whatsoever, so as to not harm the fragile egos of his adoring fans. He must hunch slightly and never raise his head to high in an attempt to be more approachable.

[Siberian Husky]

Self takes offense to this.

This is clearly a specist statement .

  just kidding

134 (skip any?): Another aspect allowing one to easy discern the so-called serious pianist from the blahzay is the attire of the pianist. Any serious pianist always dressed in only the most expensive of tuxedo, making sure it solid black as white and other colors arreserved for quayars and the hopelessly confused. He has his shoes polished by personal servant only. Never tip, the servant knows his place. He must always approach the piano from the stage front, place his left hand upon the piano, and take a bow, never bending to little or too much. He avoids rude jesters, such as flailing of one's arms and wobbling of ones head whilst grimacing, in order to appear better in control of his intrument. At the conclusion of his performance he always plays an encore after taking three bows. The encore should be no shorter than three minute, but no longer than ten -regardless of whatever fatigue he feels from his previous performance. He must make it lively so as to wake those who feel asleep during the sonata part of the program. After the encore he must meet with audience and reporters alike where he must, with great emphasis, deny he has any talent whatsoever, so as to not harm the fragile egos of his adoring fans. He must hunch slightly and never raise his head to high in an attempt to be more approachable.

Ghetto Translation:

134: Aight check-it...Foo be reppin n sportin mad threads, nah mean?...he be alwayz flossin n poppin collaz n he always up on doze new kicks..makin sure he be duztin da dirt off hiz shouldah....foo alwayz gotta be comin through struttin n comin correct up on dat piano-piece...dis dude be always keepin it on da down low n neva makin fooz scrurrrred wit gang signs...cuz he juss tryna be bout uit bout it fo da ladies....when homiez wanna hear sum mo of dat pizzy...jigga always up on par but neva takin too long on doze crazy 88's...he be playin it crazily to wake peeps who aint showin love, nah mean?...when foo be done...he juss be sayin iss all nuffin..he  be sayin he juss keepin it real so dat jiggas dont hate on his style....he also be keepin dat gangsta limp..to let da posse know he got street cret n can  hang wit da most...WORD...

[etudes]

think that we can learn all of the Classical Music Repertoire in 3-5 years 
that is the real thing
that my friend who are very bad at piano and change his mind to study jazz...

[daral]

135: Thinks a Yamaha is a Japanese car.

[tds]

Ghetto Translation:

134: Aight check-it...Foo be reppin n sportin mad threads, nah mean?...he be alwayz flossin n poppin collaz n he always up on doze new kicks..makin sure he be duztin da dirt off hiz shouldah....foo alwayz gotta be comin through struttin n comin correct up on dat piano-piece...dis dude be always keepin it on da down low n neva makin fooz scrurrrred wit gang signs...cuz he juss tryna be bout uit bout it fo da ladies....when homiez wanna hear sum mo of dat pizzy...jigga always up on par but neva takin too long on doze crazy 88's...he be playin it crazily to wake peeps who aint showin love, nah mean?...when foo be done...he juss be sayin iss all nuffin..he  be sayin he juss keepin it real so dat jiggas dont hate on his style....he also be keepin dat gangsta limp..to let da posse know he got street cret n can  hang wit da most...WORD...

gosh, i wish i were proficient with ghetto accent. mmm, is it as hard as learning french? siberian husky, you rock!

[i_m_robot]

Ghetto Translation:

134: Aight check-it...Foo be reppin n sportin mad threads, nah mean?...he be alwayz flossin n poppin collaz n he always up on doze new kicks..makin sure he be duztin da dirt off hiz shouldah....foo alwayz gotta be comin through struttin n comin correct up on dat piano-piece...dis dude be always keepin it on da down low n neva makin fooz scrurrrred wit gang signs...cuz he juss tryna be bout uit bout it fo da ladies....when homiez wanna hear sum mo of dat pizzy...jigga always up on par but neva takin too long on doze crazy 88's...he be playin it crazily to wake peeps who aint showin love, nah mean?...when foo be done...he juss be sayin iss all nuffin..he  be sayin he juss keepin it real so dat jiggas dont hate on his style....he also be keepin dat gangsta limp..to let da posse know he got street cret n can  hang wit da most...WORD...

 

couldn't have said it better self's self

[rob47]

136.  Get's drunk and posts on a piano forum, rambling on about nothing.  And also smells like me.

[Siberian Husky]

136.  Get's drunk and posts on a piano forum, rambling on about nothing.  And also smells like me.

Unerlining Translation:
136: im so drunk right now..why am i even posting on the pianoforum with such a high volume of alcohol content..*rob slaps his face* GET IT TOGETHER MAN.......hey...i havnt taken a shower in 5 days...and NO ONE has SAID a THING 

[rob47]

Unerlining Translation:
136: im so drunk right now..why am i even posting on the pianoforum with such a high volume of alcohol content..*rob slaps his face* GET IT TOGETHER MAN.......hey...i havnt taken a shower in 5 days...and NO ONE has SAID a THING 

hahaha thats hilarious, but I was sober when i posted #135.

But seriously it did happen a couple months ago....ask Bernhard...he made fun of me for it
 

[kilini]

Actually, I would bet a cookie that the guy used Gizoogle.

Go to Gizoogle.com It's ghetto Google!

[Siberian Husky]

im familiar with gizoogle..but..hand over that cookie..cause i didnt use it...

dont be jealous of my hoodlum skills...

[i_m_robot]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH




https://www.pianoforum.net/smf/index.php/topic,2147.msg18265.html#msg18265