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Bad music jokes (and viola jokes) (Read 1141 times)

Offline ybanana

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Bad music jokes (and viola jokes)
« on: December 08, 2015, 04:42:09 AM »
Let's start a list


Q: You are lost in a desert and find a good violist, a bad violist, and a large white rabbit. Which one do you ask directions for?
A: the bad violist. The other two are mirages.


I'll be Bach for more :)

Offline musikalischer_wirbelwind_280

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Re: Bad music jokes (and viola jokes)
«Reply #1 on: December 09, 2015, 03:47:43 AM »
How about this one:

Q: What did a piano player say to a tightrope walker?
A: You'd better C sharp or you'll B flat!

...Not bad enough? Well, nobody said there wasn't a chance of getting worse in the future, right? ;D

M.W.

Offline rubinsteinmad

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Re: Bad music jokes (and viola jokes)
«Reply #2 on: December 10, 2015, 09:11:24 PM »
Q: What do you get when you drop an Imperial Bosendorfer down a mine?
A: A Flat Minor
Some Quotes about Me:

"Five stars in the culinary arts,
No star in music."
   - DrKlara Andbroms

"A terrible artist, too bad you cant get plastic surgery on your piano playing"
   -DrFay King

Offline rubinsteinmad

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Re: Bad music jokes (and viola jokes)
«Reply #3 on: December 10, 2015, 09:19:23 PM »
This one is the most cheesy series of jokes ever:

Q: Why did Clara cross the road?
A: To see Brahms  *narrows eyes
 
Q: How come Clara despised Robert?
A: Cause he always had his eye on her...   ;D

Q: How come Schumann's Fantasie has no dedicatee?
A: Cause Clara forgot to replace "Fr. Liszt" with "Cl. Wieck".  ::)

Q: How come Clara hated Liszt?
A: Cause he saw her liszt of clients... *facepalm
Some Quotes about Me:

"Five stars in the culinary arts,
No star in music."
   - DrKlara Andbroms

"A terrible artist, too bad you cant get plastic surgery on your piano playing"
   -DrFay King

Offline ronde_des_sylphes

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Re: Bad music jokes (and viola jokes)
«Reply #4 on: December 10, 2015, 09:42:49 PM »
I can name a bad music joke. It goes on forever and is completely unfunny. I'll let Thal think of the punchline.

Offline rubinsteinmad

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Re: Bad music jokes (and viola jokes)
«Reply #5 on: December 10, 2015, 09:48:28 PM »
Oh, and it's funny how, until I was aged 9 or 10, I thought that the ice-cream-like dessert was called "Schubert".

(I didn't know it was called "Scherbert" until 9...)
Some Quotes about Me:

"Five stars in the culinary arts,
No star in music."
   - DrKlara Andbroms

"A terrible artist, too bad you cant get plastic surgery on your piano playing"
   -DrFay King

Offline ronde_des_sylphes

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Re: Bad music jokes (and viola jokes)
«Reply #6 on: December 10, 2015, 09:53:06 PM »
The band EMF released an album called Schubert Dip. (that's not a joke..)

Offline rubinsteinmad

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Re: Bad music jokes (and viola jokes)
«Reply #7 on: December 10, 2015, 10:56:40 PM »
Q:What's the product of  Schumann and Brahms?
A: 0

Q: What's the product of the mass of Schumann and Brahms?
A: 100,000 kg

Q: What did Freddy give his mommy for Christmas?
A: A Chopin Liszt

Q: What was the shape of Brahms' torso?
A: An upside-down V

Q: What did daddy Brahms tell mommy Brahms?
A: Get abortion.

Q: Who was Ambrosius Bach's 8th and youngest son?
A: JK Bach
Some Quotes about Me:

"Five stars in the culinary arts,
No star in music."
   - DrKlara Andbroms

"A terrible artist, too bad you cant get plastic surgery on your piano playing"
   -DrFay King

Offline trifonov

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Re: Bad music jokes (and viola jokes)
«Reply #8 on: December 11, 2015, 02:26:48 AM »
How bout this?

Q: What did Rubinsteinmad tell her future?
A: "Brighten up."

Offline rubinsteinmad

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Re: Bad music jokes (and viola jokes)
«Reply #9 on: December 11, 2015, 02:40:15 AM »
Q. What is the sum of Schumann and a joke?
A. Two jokes  ;D                 

Q. What is the product of Richard Strauss and a negative number?
A. A Positive number
Some Quotes about Me:

"Five stars in the culinary arts,
No star in music."
   - DrKlara Andbroms

"A terrible artist, too bad you cant get plastic surgery on your piano playing"
   -DrFay King

Offline rubinsteinmad

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Re: Bad music jokes (and viola jokes)
«Reply #10 on: December 11, 2015, 03:19:35 AM »
Q. What did Schumann and Brahms have that Liszt lacked?
A. A Clara-net

Q. What are the months of October-December known as?
A. Flute season
Some Quotes about Me:

"Five stars in the culinary arts,
No star in music."
   - DrKlara Andbroms

"A terrible artist, too bad you cant get plastic surgery on your piano playing"
   -DrFay King

Offline swagmaster420x

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Re: Bad music jokes (and viola jokes)
«Reply #11 on: December 11, 2015, 04:59:48 AM »
Rubensteinmad wins this thread because hers are the only jokes that are truly bad

Offline rubinsteinmad

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Re: Bad music jokes (and viola jokes)
«Reply #12 on: December 12, 2015, 12:08:11 AM »
Rubensteinmad wins this thread because hers are the only jokes that are truly bad

ikr *facepalm
Some Quotes about Me:

"Five stars in the culinary arts,
No star in music."
   - DrKlara Andbroms

"A terrible artist, too bad you cant get plastic surgery on your piano playing"
   -DrFay King