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How to move on after a break up? (Read 1190 times)

Offline faa2010

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How to move on after a break up?
« on: February 26, 2016, 11:40:04 AM »
Well, it wasn't a typical break up, but it was ghosting: my ex didn't contact me after I tried to call and send a message.

It happened on December, and unfortunately it has been difficult to move on. Even I saw that my ex could move on with no problem (not saying that he found someone else, only that he just changed his image profile in the outlook)

Some days I feel fine, but there are moments like now when I have a relapse and I am on the verge of calling him.

Why do I still feel that he is worthy when he hasn't given me a proper enclosure and he hasn't show that he cares?, how can I "exile" him from my heart?

Note: don't mention to hang out with other guys, that could only make them see as filling the void or seeing them as replacement.

Offline kawai_cs

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Re: How to move on after a break up?
«Reply #1 on: February 26, 2016, 12:29:21 PM »
I know it is hard but a couple of months passed and it is high time you moved on.
Try to keep busy with all your daily routines, hobbies, and invest your energy in piano so you are too busy to think about the past and this person. You could also try something new that would catch your attention even more, some sports would be perfect. Maybe take some climbing lessons if there is such possibility in your city - while climbing you have to be perfectly focused and it really clears your mind! Just an idea!
Chopin, 10-8 | Chopin, 25-12 | Haydn, HOB XVI:20

Offline mjames

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Re: How to move on after a break up?
«Reply #2 on: February 27, 2016, 05:00:21 AM »
It's different for everyone however there is one universal truth: we all move on, eventually. Grieve as much as you can, cry as much as you want, and carry on with your daily duties. Moving on is a natural process, it's inevitable. Take your time, and don't rush it. Call a friend or two and vent it all out with them, and if you're a loner; just go to your piano and play out your frustrations!

It's perfectly ok to still be hung up on your ex, it was only 3 months ago. Not enough time to get over it especially if it was long term. So yeah: give it time and just try to enjoy life.

Good luck. :D


Offline theholygideons

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Re: How to move on after a break up?
«Reply #3 on: February 27, 2016, 05:28:47 AM »
Some days I feel fine, but there are moments like now when I have a relapse and I am on the verge of calling him.

Why do I still feel that he is worthy when he hasn't given me a proper enclosure and he hasn't show that he cares?, how can I "exile" him from my heart?

Note: don't mention to hang out with other guys, that could only make them see as filling the void or seeing them as replacement.
but was he hot? as long as you got the most out of him sexually, then that is a win for you. I'm not telling you to go around sucking dick like a slut, I'm saying it's good to have an abundance mentality, which comes from socialising with a lot of guys and having other options.

Offline yewtree

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Re: How to move on after a break up?
«Reply #4 on: February 29, 2016, 05:57:09 PM »
Is this your first break up?  
I think most of us have been there. Just move on, the hurt will ease, go out with your friends and enjoy yourself.   I often think fellas can do it easier and it can seem quite callous, but on reflection you will realise that  a quick clean break is easier in the long run.     God bless and enjoy life.  

Offline pencilart3

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Re: How to move on after a break up?
«Reply #5 on: February 29, 2016, 06:53:56 PM »
I have heard that having a good friend helps. And by that I mean a true friend, and one that you are NOT interested in having a relationship with, usually one of your gender.
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Offline rachmaninoff_forever

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Re: How to move on after a break up?
«Reply #6 on: March 09, 2016, 05:20:26 AM »
Well, it wasn't a typical break up, but it was ghosting: my ex didn't contact me after I tried to call and send a message.

It happened on December, and unfortunately it has been difficult to move on. Even I saw that my ex could move on with no problem (not saying that he found someone else, only that he just changed his image profile in the outlook)

Some days I feel fine, but there are moments like now when I have a relapse and I am on the verge of calling him.

Why do I still feel that he is worthy when he hasn't given me a proper enclosure and he hasn't show that he cares?, how can I "exile" him from my heart?

Note: don't mention to hang out with other guys, that could only make them see as filling the void or seeing them as replacement.

Breakups are so hard man I feel you...

But this is what I think is the best way to move on.

Throw away EVERYTHING that you have that reminds you of him that you don't actually need.  Block him from facebook, delete his number, photos, EVERYTHING.  You don't wanna be reminded of him.  DO NOT call him.  

Then what you do is sleep with a bunch of other guys.  One night stands. There's no shame in it despite the social stigma for women.  That's what I think is the fastest way to move on from a break up.  If you don't wanna do that for whatever reason that's fine, but the point is you wanna spend as much time as possible with your friends.  Stay busy.  Practice more, start going to the gym, find a new hobby.  You need distractions.

It's going to suck dude
Live large, die large.  Leave a giant coffin.

Offline bronnestam

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Re: How to move on after a break up?
«Reply #7 on: March 09, 2016, 09:22:13 AM »
Breakups are so hard man I feel you...

But this is what I think is the best way to move on.

Throw away EVERYTHING that you have that reminds you of him that you don't actually need.  Block him from facebook, delete his number, photos, EVERYTHING.  You don't wanna be reminded of him.  DO NOT call him.  

Then what you do is sleep with a bunch of other guys.  One night stands. There's no shame in it despite the social stigma for women.  That's what I think is the fastest way to move on from a break up.  If you don't wanna do that for whatever reason that's fine, but the point is you wanna spend as much time as possible with your friends.  Stay busy.  Practice more, start going to the gym, find a new hobby.  You need distractions.

It's going to suck dude

I agree, actually. Stay busy with doing things you enjoy to do. Remove every sign of Whatshisname. Only think about the good times you had together, without bitterness, without the agony of it being over. You have your memories; let them be your treasure. That is much nicer than burying yourself in bitterness over your loss.

Sometimes I think it strange that we pity those who had love and then lost it, while we don't pity those who never had love at all. Like the loss is more important than the moments of having. Like the joy of the good time is nothing compared to the bitter ending. No, I don't get it.

Remember, the only person that you will have to live with all your life, is YOU. Therefore, you must love yourself very much. Enjoy your own sole company. Enjoy friends too, of course. If you are bored when you are by yourself, it is a clear sign that you don't like yourself enough. But if you love your own company, congratulations, you will never feel alone again and you will never let someone else decide your value.

Offline chopinlover01

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Re: How to move on after a break up?
«Reply #8 on: March 09, 2016, 02:38:58 PM »
I have heard that having a good friend helps. And by that I mean a true friend, and one that you are NOT interested in having a relationship with, usually one of your gender.
Ditto on this, albeit without the gender bit (I have plenty of close female friends and it works just fine to vent to them when I need to).
I've found the best thing is usually distractions. Compose, learn a new piece, anything to take your mind of stuff.
Also, yes- get rid of unnecessary memories!!
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Offline pencilart3

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Re: How to move on after a break up?
«Reply #9 on: March 09, 2016, 03:08:44 PM »
Ditto on this, albeit without the gender bit (I have plenty of close female friends and it works just fine to vent to them when I need to).
I've found the best thing is usually distractions. Compose, learn a new piece, anything to take your mind of stuff.
Also, yes- get rid of unnecessary memories!!

Indeed! :)
youtube.com/noahjohnsonpiano

Offline briansaddleback

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Re: How to move on after a break up?
«Reply #10 on: March 09, 2016, 10:10:23 PM »
Well, it wasn't a typical break up, but it was ghosting: my ex didn't contact me after I tried to call and send a message.

It happened on December, and unfortunately it has been difficult to move on. Even I saw that my ex could move on with no problem (not saying that he found someone else, only that he just changed his image profile in the outlook)

Some days I feel fine, but there are moments like now when I have a relapse and I am on the verge of calling him.

Why do I still feel that he is worthy when he hasn't given me a proper enclosure and he hasn't show that he cares?, how can I "exile" him from my heart?

Note: don't mention to hang out with other guys, that could only make them see as filling the void or seeing them as replacement.

Three ways to overcome:

1) the way you are doing it and most people, sure , I did too. Mope and be depressed and sleep all day until the day comes when you're desensitized to it.

2) get another significant other quick. Not as a replacement but one you like (fwiw). Bam. youre over it.

3) Have a passion or drive for something in your life. A real passion. That is one of the great things about music and learning musical instruments and art.


basically:

1) let your life circumstances and emotions rule over you.
2) Not a real solution. Basically you're still not addressing a weakness within yourself. You just fill a 'need'
3) You have purpose in life and that is what drives you. Someone or no one can share w your expedition in life. Doesnt matter to you. Cuz you live for your passion.
Work in progress:

Rondo Alla Turca

Offline kawai_cs

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Re: How to move on after a break up?
«Reply #11 on: May 11, 2016, 12:56:38 PM »
it is high time 

What a silly thing to say to somebody
Chopin, 10-8 | Chopin, 25-12 | Haydn, HOB XVI:20

Offline briansaddleback

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Re: How to move on after a break up?
«Reply #12 on: May 11, 2016, 02:05:41 PM »
What a silly thing to say to somebody
You always say silly things though. ;)
Work in progress:

Rondo Alla Turca

Offline pencilart3

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Re: How to move on after a break up?
«Reply #13 on: May 11, 2016, 02:06:41 PM »
Stop with the wink faces as though you have some mysterious connection that none of the rest of us have.
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