Ugly hands

[frederic_choping]

I've been playing piano for a while now, but recently, my hands were severely injured. The back of my hands have scrapes all over them, on now they are dark ugly scars. What should I do? I'm 13, and doing my grade 8 in a few weeks. Someone please help. It's causing me a lot of distress

[109natsu]

Hi,

I am really sorry for the accident.

People shouldn't judge you or your playing by the looks of your hands. If you can play piano like you used to, I would still play piano. If you can't play the piano, then I'm sorry, but there is only the other choice that you can take.

But I do hope you keep loving music in any cases

Best,
Natsu

[dogperson]

I remember at 13 being VERY self-conscious about physical differences.. and thinking that it really mattered to everyone else.  Over the years, I have realized that no one really cares or pays attention.

You will be judged in your exams NOT by what your hands look like-- no one will care.  You will be judged by what your hands are doing when you play:  which is the music you produce from the piano.  Keep the focus on your music and everything else will disappear.

[bernadette60614]

Unless your hands are going to be televised over a jumbotron (I believe that it is the way it is spelled), their appearance won't make the least amount of difference.

I once say a plaster cast of Franz Liszt's hands (in the opera house in Milan of all places), and they weren't "pretty hands".

GL and enjoy!

[louispodesta]

Unless your hands are going to be televised over a jumbotron (I believe that it is the way it is spelled), their appearance won't make the least amount of difference.

I once say a plaster cast of Franz Liszt's hands (in the opera house in Milan of all places), and they weren't "pretty hands".

GL and enjoy!

In terms of support, this particular post is very well said.  The truth being that Franz List (at his age, just like mine) had very noticeable "age spots" on the back of his hands.

Additionally, as this post has and others have pointed out, no one from the audience/jury can see this. However, I think that something more serious is going on here.

This is something you have to determine for yourself.  And then, you and your support group have to deal with it, accordingly.  As far as the appearance of the top of your hands:

GET REAL!

[indianajo]

Sorry about your accident.
I cut the pad of my finger 3 off age 3 with a folding chair, and it resembles the ugly claw of some horror movie villain.  The nail sticks out with nothing but scar tissue below it. 
I was assigned piano age 8 as a sort of cheap ($8 a lesson!) physical therapy to help me regain use of my finger.  After a year of Schmitt exercises and J Schaum pre-A book, beautiful music started to occur.  So I kept it up for 8 years of private lessons.  I'm playing again 58 years later, with great effect if I say so myself. 
I still view the music as beautiful, even though the clicking of my exposed nail on the keys is sometimes audible.  No contest judge (local NPG competitions) ever complained about that. 

So beauty is as beauty does, to quote an old saw.  Enjoy your hobby. 

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Think of it this way...

You have rough hands BUT you can still produce a beautiful sound on the piano!

Dude that's so badass!

[frederic_choping]

Think of it this way...

You have rough hands BUT you can still produce a beautiful sound on the piano!

Dude that's so badass!

I appreciate that- It's just, all the pianist I see have nice, smooth hands... Mine are now so flawed..
My confidence has decreased greatly, and with the fact that I have dark brown skin, the scrapes and cuts look like gangrene... I don't know how to make myself feel better.

[rachmaninoff_forever]

I appreciate that- It's just, all the pianist I see have nice, smooth hands... Mine are now so flawed..
My confidence has decreased greatly, and with the fact that I have dark brown skin, the scrapes and cuts look like gangrene... I don't know how to make myself feel better.

post a picture

[dogperson]

There are products made to cover scars--- I have not  tried them, but you might want to look at Dermablend products.

I know it makes you self-conscious, and I don't think any of us can easily convince you that people care about the music you make-- rather than how your hands appear.   But that is the truth!

[outin]

I personally couldn't care less how someone's hands look if they play well. And some famous pianists don't have that pretty hands, some guys have hair growing on them 

For promo photos, there's always photoshop. So stop worrying about nothing. Personality is the thing, if they really are THAT bad, just dress as a zombie and you will be rich and famous in no time!

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Yeah honestly the way your hands look is a non issue

"I really like/dislike the way this pianists hands look"

Said nobody ever

[bernadette60614]

Another thought:

Ballerinas have truly ugly feet..yet no one ever saw a glorious performance of Swan Lake and gave a moments thought to the feet of the ballerinas.

[louispodesta]

Another thought:

Ballerinas have truly ugly feet..yet no one ever saw a glorious performance of Swan Lake and gave a moments thought to the feet of the ballerinas.

Well said, Maam:  As previously referenced, no one is going to be looking at the top of your hands.

Your "confidence" problem resides elsewhere, in my opinion.  If not, then why are you continually trying to make a big deal out of something which is not!

[dogperson]

Well said, Maam:  As previously referenced, no one is going to be looking at the top of your hands.

Your "confidence" problem resides elsewhere, in my opinion.  If not, then why are you continually trying to make a big deal out of something which is not!

For Pete's sake, Louis!!!!!   You are talking to a 13 year old.  I guess you don't remember being that age, but things that don't bother you many years later, BOTHER YOU GREATLY AT 13, and affect your self-confidence.    It is not for you to determine that this is not an important question to a teenager.

[pjjslp]

For Pete's sake, Louis!!!!!   You are talking to a 13 year old.  I guess you don't remember being that age, but things that don't bother you many years later, BOTHER YOU GREATLY AT 13, and affect your self-confidence.    It is not for you to determine that this is not an important question to a teenager.

+1

Mom of two 13-year-olds here, getting a daily lesson in how much the small things matter at that age.

OP, like others have said, make beautiful music and no one will care what your hands look like. The ones who do care, do not matter. Best wishes to you!

[frederic_choping]

Well said, Maam:  As previously referenced, no one is going to be looking at the top of your hands.

Your "confidence" problem resides elsewhere, in my opinion.  If not, then why are you continually trying to make a big deal out of something which is not!

I know... I'm sorry... I don't know why it keeps bothering me so much... But you don't understand, almost all of the skin on the back of my left hand was ripped of by me smashing through the windshield, and my right hand was partially burnt by flames while I was trapped in the car, it was a car crash, my father died as a result, I know I shouldn't be so sensitive but it's like, everytime K look at my hands it's not only ugly but it reminds me, and I use my hands hours a day on the piano, it really makes me feel bad... But I'm sorry for overreacting...

[dogperson]

I know... I'm sorry... I don't know why it keeps bothering me so much... But you don't understand, almost all of the skin on the back of my left hand was ripped of by me smashing through the windshield, and my right hand was partially burnt by flames while I was trapped in the car, it was a car crash, my father died as a result, I know I shouldn't be so sensitive but it's like, everytime K look at my hands it's not only ugly but it reminds me, and I use my hands hours a day on the piano, it really makes me feel bad... But I'm sorry for overreacting...

PLEASE don't pay attention to one 60 year old curmudgeon who tells you are overreacting!!!  You are not overreacting... just being human.  I hope you saw my message about trying DermaBlend on your hands.  Talk to your Mom about looking for a cream that is intended to cover scars. 

You have the emotional support from the remainder of us.  When is your examination recital?

[frederic_choping]

PLEASE don't pay attention to one 60 year old curmudgeon who tells you are overreacting!!!  You are not overreacting... just being human.  I hope you saw my message about trying DermaBlend on your hands.  Talk to your Mom about looking for a cream that is intended to cover scars. 

You have the emotional support from the remainder of us.  When is your examination recital?

It's in five days. I've still been practicing a lot. My mom bought me many scar creams, she doesn't like to see me sad, my left hand is still uncomfortable but it's almost all healed, and I'm able to do the exam. My mom said that if I can't get over it after my scars have matured, she'll help me get a procedure to improve the scarring. I know I'm young and it will heal to a good point, but for now, it still bothers me.

[pjjslp]

It's in five days. I've still been practicing a lot. My mom bought me many scar creams, she doesn't like to see me sad, my left hand is still uncomfortable but it's almost all healed, and I'm able to do the exam. My mom said that if I can't get over it after my scars have matured, she'll help me get a procedure to improve the scarring. I know I'm young and it will heal to a good point, but for now, it still bothers me.

Best wishes on your exam! I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. You have people out here cheering you on!

[1piano4joe]

Hi frederic_choping,

Have you ever heard of DMSO?

This solvent can help reduce scarring.

I hope that helps, Joe.

P.S. I suffered 3rd degree burns on the front of my right hand. My right thumb has it the worst and my span is slightly smaller in my right hand because of it. The burns were quite severe and so will have this contraction and scarring the rest of my life but the DMSO has helped somewhat.

[bernadette60614]

Ah, I'm so sorry.

I'm going to suggest that your mother ask your treating physician for a recommendation to a specialist who could help you understand you options.  I'm not sure if it would be a dermatologist or a plastic surgeon.

I think knowing that you have a path being defined for you to heal these visible scars will make it easier for you to perform. You'll know from a specialist that they wouldn't be on your hand forever, and that, I propose, will help ease your anxiety during your performance.

[frederic_choping]

Thank you for the suggestions everbody, I'm researching and also thanks for your condolences.

[louispodesta]

For Pete's sake, Louis!!!!!   You are talking to a 13 year old.  I guess you don't remember being that age, but things that don't bother you many years later, BOTHER YOU GREATLY AT 13, and affect your self-confidence.    It is not for you to determine that this is not an important question to a teenager.

Thank you for pointing out the real problem which is that in the artificial world of exams and contests, the age of 13 is a big deal.  In the real world, it is not!

Hell yes, I remember what it was like to be 13 years old.  My father the doctor was dying from terminal cancer, and we were flat broke.

So, what is this adolescent supposed to do?  That should be to opt out of the exams (for legitimate medical reasons), and no one will think any less of the OP.

Jesus Christ, folks!  Do all of you have Cliburn on the brain disease?  There are for more important things in life and the piano than the visual appearance of the top of ones hands.

And, that is getting over/healing from the inside from the trauma the OP has incurred.  That means:  stop the Band-Aid approach and address the real problem.

[timothy42b]

Wear gloves, fingerless if necessary.  It will become your trademark, and you will never have to explain it.  When asked, you will smile mysteriously and change the subject, adding to your mystique.

I am sorry for your losses, and applaud your determination.  You seem to be a survivor. 

[piano petals]

Personally, I would admire and appreciate someone that has the desire and personal strength to play beautiful music despite what he sees as a flaw.

[outin]

While Louis does not really know how to express himself well, there's one thing I too worry about:

You have experienced a terrible loss and had an extremely traumatic event. It is possible that your issues with your hands are a means to put aside the more severe issues. That's how our mind works, it's a normal survival mechanism. But sometimes it goes too far. So I hope you also got help in dealing with the non-physical consequences of the accident, because if not dealt with at all, it might just catch up with you later added to all the other pressures of daily life and growing up.

I don't think you should bail out of your exam though, if you have been able to prepare. Do your best and believe the older and wiser people here who say that your hands won't matter to the people listening. How you play matters and even that only for a short while with someone as young as you. If you cannot ignore the hands right now and it affects your playing, then by all means, cover them with make up or even gloves for this event.

I can assure you that with time the hands will not be an issue anymore, because other things will take over, that's also how our mind works if we just let it.

[louispodesta]

"While Louis does not really know how to express himself well . . . You have experienced a terrible loss and had an extremely traumatic event . . . I don't think you should bail out of your exam though, if you have been able to prepare . . . If you cannot ignore the hands right now and it affects your playing, then by all means, cover them with make up or even gloves for this event."

1)  Once upon a time, I shared with a great lady with far more wisdom than myself, that someone had suggested that I consider joining a group to improve my communication skills.  Her answer was:  Louis, you express yourself and communicate better than anyone I have ever known.  The problem is that they don't like what you have to say.

2)  My first post on this thread told the OP to focus on the music, and then to forget the rest.

3)  When I learned that was not going to happen, I suggested that the OP take a break and the take the exam at a later date, when his hands and his heart had time to heal.

4)  Never, and I mean never, did I suggest that the OP put "makeup' on his hands akin to some severely burned patient.

What is it with this website?  On another post, the OP is asking for advice relating to his "dog bite," wherein his hand has swelled.

I guess any and all medical conditions are now fair game for anyone to weigh in for their input.  Gosh, I sincerely hope not.

As a philosopher/pianist, I do consider myself most able to render certain advice in regard's life's pathways.  However, in no way am I qualified to practice medicine, and/or psychotherapy (as is being done here)!

[pjjslp]

1)  Once upon a time, I shared with a great lady with far more wisdom than myself, that someone had suggested that I consider joining a group to improve my communication skills.  Her answer was:  Louis, you express yourself and communicate better than anyone I have ever known.  The problem is that they don't like what you have to say.

I work with people who have communication difficulties for a living, and I disagree with this great lady. Effective communication is not just about being clear, concise, accurate, etc. Effective communication means taking into account one's intended audience and purpose and altering the message accordingly. Posting "GET REAL!" and "making a big deal out of something which is not!" to a self-conscious young teen is not kind or helpful, and it served to accomplish nothing except apparently making the OP feel bad about posting about feeling bad. Many of your posts insult other posters and the forum as a whole.

Now, if you want people to think you are a bit self-important and rude, then I suppose you are expressing yourself and communicating well. Congratulations.

OP, my apologies for hijacking your post.

[outin]

As a philosopher/pianist, I do consider myself most able to render certain advice in regard's life's pathways.  However, in no way am I qualified to practice medicine, and/or psychotherapy (as is being done here)!

Not sure about the variety of qualifications you get from being a philosopher/pianists. But surely someone who has lived through many difficult life events personally, studied Psychology and worked as a councellor for many years also has achieved at least a little qualification to give advice regarding life's pathways. No-one here has been practicing either medicine or psychotherapy.

[louispodesta]

Not sure about the variety of qualifications you get from being a philosopher/pianists. But surely someone who has lived through many difficult life events personally, studied Psychology and worked as a councellor for many years also has achieved at least a little qualification to give advice regarding life's pathways. No-one here has been practicing either medicine or psychotherapy.

Yes, they have and so are you.  "Studied psychology" (me too), and "worked as a councellor."  Have you worked with any surface hand burn patients?

Accordingly, it is most improper for any of us to advise the OP on medical/psychological remediation as it relates to the OP's most serious condition.

[outin]

Yes, they have and so are you.  "Studied psychology" (me too), and "worked as a councellor."  Have you worked with any surface hand burn patients?

Accordingly, it is most improper for any of us to advise the OP on medical/psychological remediation as it relates to the OP's most serious condition.

You question is irrelevant and does not need to be answered. I don't know if your problem is with understanding or just attitude, but I find it's a waste of time to continue this discussion.

[jason_sioco]

If you think your hands are ugly…Then check out some of my videos with my right hand playing the piano. I once had carpal tunnel on my right hand and I ended up playing like that on my right hand. Also on my left hand, I have a scar of handcuffs residue because the police handcuffed me in 2012. I did not do any criminal act. I had a manic episode, because I once have a mental illness called schizophrenia. I was not taken to jail. I was taken to the hospital instead and they give me treatment. The psychiatrist there gave me a medication called Ziprasidone and my Schizophrenia was neutralized.

[frederic_choping]

If you think your hands are ugly…Then check out some of my videos with my right hand playing the piano. I once had carpal tunnel on my right hand and I ended up playing like that on my right hand. Also on my left hand, I have a scar of handcuffs residue because the police handcuffed me in 2012. I did not do any criminal act. I had a manic episode, because I once have a mental illness called schizophrenia. I was not taken to jail. I was taken to the hospital instead and they give me treatment. The psychiatrist there gave me a medication called Ziprasidone and my Schizophrenia was neutralized.

I'm glad there's someone else with scars on their hands as well, I feel like I'm the only pianist with hands so scarred... My doctor gave me a cream that has been flattening the raised parts very well and evening out the discolor... I hope one day when I'm an adult I will be able to look back at this era in my life as just a turning event in my life. I hope I'll be able to seen my worry as ridiculous as others do, because I really do wish I could just dismiss them. My mom say that since I'm still young,they'll almost completely vanish-