just Lazyness?

[kekk]

I have some kind of Problem, not exclusive with piano playing, but in all things i'm doing in my spare time.

It's that i'm often get very motivated/inspired/euphoric to do something, let's say learning a new piece, practise sight-reading, play something in different key, doing free improvisation, reading a book about chess etc. I mostly think about this when i'm at work. I think "***, i really love music, when i'm at home i'm going to do *insert thing* and have some fun with it!" But when i'm at home, i'm just NOT DOING IT. I don't know why.
I often start doing it, but then i stop after a few minutes, and next day (or hour) doing the same with somthing else.

Because of this i got really depressed, most days just sitting at my pc and doing nothing expect thinking negative about my life, and listenting to Glenn Gould thinking "wow, music can be so great, why not go to the piano and play?"

I've tried to quit playing piano completly, but then, i'm even more depressed because of having nothing else to do. (this thought of everything being useless)

Maybe it's simply because i'm lonley. No one to talk about such things.

[Bacfokievrahms]

you're probably impatient, it's probable that you think you want something but then you get discouraged/bored when you don't get it immediately, it happens, meditation would help because usually the cause for these feelings is just the need for a distraction so if you can stay with yourself without trying to distract yourself with things to do then you can accomplish all the stuff that you truly want to do.

[donjuan]

hmm I hope you dont have bipolar disorder... or maybe even attention deficit disorder..

dont learn stuff too quickly or else it will sound like crap and you lose all motivation to continue to learn the piece.  Number the bars, if it hasnt already been done for you and work out little details (arpeggio legato here...bring out the melody there..) in progressive sessions instead of just trying to learn the whole piece at one sitting, as it sounds like you are doing because you get frustrated and depressed so quickly after starting work on the piece.

best wishes,
donjuan

ps. dont feel lonely.  Youre with the forum family now!

[bernhard]

The answer to your question is here:

https://pianoforum.net/smf/index.php/topic,3396.msg30084.html#msg30084


Best wishes,
Bernhard.