HELP! How to get comfortable playing with a new teacher!

[mishamalchik]

   So a little background here, I am a first year in college and I am taking consistent lessons for the first time. I have played off and on wth no instruction because I came out of foster care so my opportunities were really limited but I really love to play piano and was accepted (for some mysterious reason given the state of my audition) to the piano lesson program at my school.

    So here's the issue, there is a MASSIVE difference in my playing when I'm practicing alone and when I'm playing with my teacher in lessons. I feel uncomfortable and I'm trying to get at the source of this discomfort and how to tackle it. In the practice room I can play through the pieces we are working on with relative ease (Scriabin Preludes op 11 no 9 and for the left hand, the Hanon studies etc) but in the lesson it's like I've hardly played them at all. I practice a lot, upwards of 2 hours on a typical day but none of it shows in my lessons.

     I have some theories about the source of this discomfort.
1. It could just be a general discomfort that comes with getting to know a teacher, I guess this would just go away with time.
2. Given my background, as one who was in foster care it's pretty clear I didn't have the greatest upbringing and being in a private 1 on 1 situation with a male authority figure is very challenging for me. I have no idea how to solve this issue.

Does anybody have any ideas of how I should convince my teacher that I'm not an idiot? lol Cause based on how some of our lessons have gone, I think he might be getting that impression and may drop me as a student next term which I really really don't want to happen! I just got the opportunity to start playing and I really don't want to lose that just because of a personal issue.

[dogperson]

You're not alone among piano students in having this problem... in fact, a joke that I have heard circulates among piano teachers is 'I played this so much better at home'.   I wish I could say it might be related to foster care, but this is such a common problem with your fellow students.

First, discuss this with your teacher so that he understands what is happening.

What worked for me is to change the way I PERSONALLY view lessons...  rather than demonstrating what I have learned.. thinking about them as a way to solve problems in what I cannot do well and seeing my teacher as an experienced ally in making that happen.   Therefore, I start every lesson-- not by 'playing through with what I have worked on'... but starting with the measures/sections that I know are not good, and the questions I have about how to improve them.  For example, the dialogue from me might be 'This is the fingering I am using, but it sounds uneven.  What would you recommend?'   'Are there exercises I should do so that this section improves? '  'What is the best way to learn this fioritura?'  'This is the fingering in the score, but it doesn't feel comfortable'.  When working on repertoire at home, I add a question mark in pencil above the measures I want to discuss.

Therefore, you are acknowledging what work is needed--- and asking for help. Just think about how you can change your perspective from 'showing' to 'learning with an experienced, educated ally.'  
By the time you do this, and actually 'play through', you begin to look forward to the corrections.

 Once I changed my perspective,  I am learning at a much more rapid rate.. and am better able to apply what I learn.  

You might want to look at this thread for some suggestions:  exercise, positive aphorisms,  visualization.

https://www.pianoworld.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/topics/2547681/Lesson_Anxiety_--_Exercise_Hel.html

[brogers70]

I start every lesson-- not by 'playing through with what I have worked on'... but starting with the measures/sections that I know are not good, and the questions I have about how to improve them.  For example, the dialogue from me might be 'This is the fingering I am using, but it sounds uneven.  What would you recommend?'   'Are there exercises I should do so that this section improves? '  'What is the best way to learn this fioritura?'  'This is the fingering in the score, but it doesn't feel comfortable'.  When working on repertoire at home, I add a question mark in pencil above the measures I want to discuss.

Therefore, you are acknowledging what work is needed--- and asking for help. Just think about how you can change your perspective from 'showing' to 'learning with an experienced, educated ally.'  
By the time you do this, and actually 'play through', you begin to look forward to the corrections.

This is excellent advice. I also go to every lesson with a mental list of all the spots that are giving me trouble and I go right to them. In many lessons I never even play a piece all the way through, just focus on the problems I know I have.

Another thing to keep in mind (though it would not be very polite to say it to the teacher) is that the teacher works for you, not the other way round. It's not your job to impress the teacher, not even a little bit. You want to learn skills that the teacher has; of course you have to work hard to learn those skills, but you're working for yourself, not for the teacher. So bring problems you are having to the teacher and see if he can help you fix them. A good lesson is *not* a lesson in which you played beautifully and the teacher complimented you. A good lesson is one when you leave with a list of new things to work on and new ways to work on them.

[dogperson]

@Brogers.
Thanks for sharing your experience.  What I have noticed about my teachers, and heard from other students is that it is NOT the teacher's expectation that we play  brilliantly,  and the teacher is able to shout 'Bravo' at the end.  This is the mindset of the STUDENT only.   When we get over this perspective of what our lessons should be, and restructure them,  the anxiety goes away.

I realize I only have a few years with this teacher before she will retire, so I see every lesson as a way to absorb as much as I can from her... and have new skills for the next week's practice. What I should do, but often don't, is to go home after my lesson, and practice.

[chechig]

Hi, it happened to me at the beggining of taking lessons. I agree with the above comments. The problem is the approacch when going to class. You dont have to proof how good you are. You go to class to learn. My teacher always tell me he doesnt really care if I make some mistakes. He knows perfectly if I've studied, what I've improved and where I need to work. But I undestand you, it's very frustrating, you go to class very proud of the work you've done, and when you play is a complete chaos. You have to think that when learning a new piece, it's impossible to play it as it should be, it's normal to make mistakes. The new piece is in procces, let's say, so it's very difficult you play it consistently. Something that worked for me, it's doing some mental yoga before going to class. Kind of encouraging yourself, yes I can! and stuff like that (I'm not joking)
Everything is in our mind, so the thing is to control it, the attitude it's very important
But it's also very important the way you study. My teacher tought me to practice very, very, very slowly, exagerating the movements and playing loudly
Good look, and go ahead!! We also have to learn how to go to our piano lessons

[mishamalchik]

Thanks for the advice!
     I'm just going to talk to him about changing the approach of our lessons. Right now, they usually begin with a "performance" of sorts. I think he does that because I don't know where to start or how lessons in general work, so I think that he thinks I don't know where the problems are and the easiest way is to just play through and find them. There may be some occasions of me not knowing what I don't know, but I think for the most part I know where I'm having difficulty.

       I'm also trying to decide how to tell him that I know basically nothing about key signatures and theory. I know what key this piece is in because you told me 3 weeks ago that it was in e major. I don't really understand what that means. The program I'm part of doesn't accept complete beginners and you have to play *something* to audition but I'm still worried about telling him how little I actually know, because there are lots of students who want to take lessons but only about 8 spaces. All the other students are WAY better than I am. They are working on Chopin etudes, Liszt concertos and other really crazy pieces and I can sometimes sense frustration from my teacher when I struggle to play through simple Scriabin preludes and Beethoven Bagatelles. These are literally the first pieces I've played through aside from my audition piece, which was the Bach prelude. I'm afraid that if I'm completely honest about that, he might not be interested in keeping me as a student. If he chooses not to continue teaching me, then I will have no other opportunity to study with a teacher because he is paid by the college and not by me, which is why I can afford to study at all.

      At the same time, I feel he would be best equipped to help me if he has all the information, though he may ultimately decide that his time would be better spent on one of the more advanced students.
     

[dogperson]

My advice:   just start the next lesson with 'If you don't mind, before we play through the repertoire, I have marked some sections for which I would like your assistance'.  He will be happy!   Yes, there are always things I don't hear/know, but I can identify many of the 'problems'.

In terms of key signatures and theory:   why don't you do your own learning at home?   There is a wealth of information on the internet about the circle of fifths and key signatures... and this is something you can teach yourself.  The minimum of what you can do is to really understand the key signature of any new repertoire, while simultaneously training yourself on all others.  You can do the same with other types of theory.   

You can become his BEST student, irrespective of whether you are the most advanced.  Ask questions, be proactive, and practice.   I am not my teacher's most advanced student, by any means, but I can tell from her reaction during my lessons that I am one of her favorite students because of the way I approach the lessons and practice. 

[keypeg]

A good teacher will want to help his student to progress.  To do that, knowing some background may be helpful.  For example if there are things you never learned or are weak on, he can help you with it, and needs to know that.  It is especially complicated for teachers to help adult students, because what they do and don't know can be so confusing.  In addition, a teacher who would really like to bring a student back to basics will not dare to do so, because a lot of adult students then feel discouraged or insulted.  If a student honestly says "I'm missing basic skills, would like help with them, and am willing to work with you." these are welcome words for most teachers.

The reactions you are experiencing are common, and I don't know whether they go away completely even for seasoned students.  It helps to realize that you are not "performing" for your teacher, he does not expect perfection, and weaknesses are actually an opportunity for teaching.  If a student plays perfectly a teacher might even be in the position of "Good grief.  Now what do I do for the next 50 minutes.  There is nothing to guide here."

Also know that teachers are aware of students partly shutting down in front of them, and not being able to do their best.  They were students themselves, and they see it with their students.

[louispodesta]

  So a little background here, I am a first year in college and I am taking consistent lessons for the first time. I have played off and on wth no instruction because I came out of foster care so my opportunities were really limited but I really love to play piano and was accepted (for some mysterious reason given the state of my audition) to the piano lesson program at my school.

    So here's the issue, there is a MASSIVE difference in my playing when I'm practicing alone and when I'm playing with my teacher in lessons. I feel uncomfortable and I'm trying to get at the source of this discomfort and how to tackle it. In the practice room I can play through the pieces we are working on with relative ease (Scriabin Preludes op 11 no 9 and for the left hand, the Hanon studies etc) but in the lesson it's like I've hardly played them at all. I practice a lot, upwards of 2 hours on a typical day but none of it shows in my lessons.

     I have some theories about the source of this discomfort.
1. It could just be a general discomfort that comes with getting to know a teacher, I guess this would just go away with time.
2. Given my background, as one who was in foster care it's pretty clear I didn't have the greatest upbringing and being in a private 1 on 1 situation with a male authority figure is very challenging for me. I have no idea how to solve this issue.

Does anybody have any ideas of how I should convince my teacher that I'm not an idiot? lol Cause based on how some of our lessons have gone, I think he might be getting that impression and may drop me as a student next term which I really really don't want to happen! I just got the opportunity to start playing and I really don't want to lose that just because of a personal issue.

As accurately described by "dogperson," it is  road all pianists have travelled.  Accordingly, what you are experiencing is what is commonly referred to as "nerves."

Therefore, in that I have commented on this very situation, I recommend that you access my prior comments on this subject by the PM I am sending you

Thank you for your candor, and if you continue to believe in yourself, it will realize itself, accordingly.

[tenk]

...by the PM I am sending you.

Ohh, will it be as nice as the one you sent me Louis? The one where you call me a troll, again reference your your video (hilarious bordering on pitiful), prattle on about being published (no one asked), then tell me if I respond I've wasted my time (but not as much as the time you spent crafting your pm). Will it be nicer than that one? Will it?

[timothy42b]

I'm afraid that if I'm completely honest about that, he might not be interested in keeping me as a student. If he chooses not to continue teaching me, then I will have no other opportunity to study with a teacher because he is paid by the college and not by me, which is why I can afford to study at all.
     

He already knows; he knew from the first four bars you played, if not from the first note.  (assuming he has any competence at all) 

Be honest that you're feeling a little intimidated and unprepared, and leave it at that. 

[keypeg]

He already knows; he knew from the first four bars you played, if not from the first note.  (assuming he has any competence at all) 

Adding what Timothy wrote but didn't say .... he may already know, and may have also chosen to teach you, with that knowledge.  If you have a student who is missing knowledge, isn't it your job and interest to give that knowledge?

[mishamalchik]

My last lesson went much better! I took some initiative in selecting pieces on my own and marking areas that need work ahead of time. I was told by some other musicians that you shouldn't try to select your own pieces; that teachers, especially one of this caliber, would find it presumptuous, or disrespectful. However, he seemed pleased with what I chose. The Beethoven sonata op 49 no 2 is typically "ranked" below the difficulty of other pieces I'm playing but it still presents a challenge and in all it's 9 minutes stands as the longest piece I've looked at yet

Thanks for the advice!

[toughbo]

Back when I first started with my teacher I dreaded playing as soon as the lesson started and I could barely hold it together for more than 10 seconds.
Nowadays we have some coffee and he goes to the piano while we do ear training and then we switch places and he has me play some simple stuff while he goes through theory.
This way we ease into it and I feel more relaxed when it's time to play my pieces.
It makes a huge difference

[dogperson]

My last lesson went much better! I took some initiative in selecting pieces on my own and marking areas that need work ahead of time. I was told by some other musicians that you shouldn't try to select your own pieces; that teachers, especially one of this caliber, would find it presumptuous, or disrespectful. However, he seemed pleased with what I chose. The Beethoven sonata op 49 no 2 is typically "ranked" below the difficulty of other pieces I'm playing but it still presents a challenge and in all it's 9 minutes stands as the longest piece I've looked at yet

Thanks for the advice!

Glad your lesson went much better --  keep up the proactive approach and you will become his BEST student: the one lesson he looks forward to every week.  I'm glad you were comfortable with suggesting repertoire; yes, he would be pleased that you had thought about it, and were asking for his blessing.  This is a 'win-win':  you learn repertoire you like, and which he believes will advance your skills.  HOORAY!!!!!!