Stupidest things university/college/professional teachers have told us

[Bob]

I think there's a thread about teachers in general.  I'm thinking professional-level performers who teach, like a college prof.  Someone who shouldn't being saying or advocating for something... stupid.

These are a few I've been told or heard.

On glissandoes.  "I've got short fingernails, and it's not an issue for me.  So it won't be an issue for you."  Said without any reference to the student's fingernail length (which was super short).

Sore muscle?  Rub vitamin E on it.  On the skin.  Apparently the prof thought it would soak through and help heal the muscle faster.

Missed a day of practice?  Do twice as much the next day to make up for it.  ... It doesn't take into account any physical or mental recovery or taking into account sleep, memory consolidation, having it sink in....


The big unforgivable one though -- Not being able solve issues, even arguing against things I've come to realize are true.



On the plus side though, I have heard two world class performers who did the usual masterclass presentation and then said that the exact opposite might be needed if x, y, and z are happening, etc.



Any more?  Must be a professor or professional performer for "stupid" things in this thread though.

[iansinclair]

I was blessed with an extraordinary organ professor/choral conducting professor.  To the best of my recollection, the only really stupid thing she ever said was that she didn't play well enough to give a full scale faculty recital.

We -- the organ students -- finally prevailed on her to do it.

People came from all over the world -- literally -- to hear her perform that recital, and it was well worth their time and effort.

Dr. Enid M. Woodward, PhD (Sorbonne), FAGO, FRCO, FRCCO.  May she rest in peace, and may I never forget her playing.

[maestroanth]

Such a great subject line! Haha!

God, for me, it's my first undergrad theory teacher regarding perfect pitch saying, "You either have it or you don't".

This never really made sense to me (I tend to have a more scientific and pragmatic mind compared to my colleagues at the time) since I always assumed the most fundamental aspect of music starts with the first note (heck Liszt's infamous Rhapsody #2 just starts with an isolated C# very effectively).

I struggled on his aural exams until I just decided to ignore him and memorized all the note names using examples such as first note of Rhapsody #2 as my memory trigger. Then I started to nail the exams later because I was able to cross-check my perfect pitch acuity with the relative pitch he was teaching us and vice versa.

I wrote a whole book on this actually......

[ted]

Like Ian, I cannot recall even one stupid comment from the two wonderful teachers I had in my youth. The converse wasn't true though, I was a mine of silly remarks, beats me what they ever saw in me.

[maestroanth]

Like Ian, I cannot recall even one stupid comment from the two wonderful teachers I had in my youth. The converse wasn't true though, I was a mine of silly remarks, beats me what they ever saw in me.

Blah, such humility makes me sick....

[dcstudio]

I had a Russian lady for a piano teacher one semester at UNT who said...

"All my students are bad this year but you....you are zee worst."

[quantum]

During a masterclass:

"If I can physically knock you over, you aren't playing with enough weight."  To demonstrate, the teacher began to play and asked me to try to remove his hands from the keyboard as he played. 

Apparently some faculty heard him practicing on the pianos beforehand and noted his delicacy of touch similar to a jackhammer.  They feared for the health of the instrument. 

[tenk]

While certainly not a professor/teacher, I'll just leave this here: https://www.pianostreet.com/smf/index.php?action=profile;u=76481

[macuaig]

During a masterclass:
"If I can physically knock you over, you aren't playing with enough weight."  To demonstrate, the teacher began to play and asked me to try to remove his hands from the keyboard as he played. 
Apparently some faculty heard him practicing on the pianos beforehand and noted his delicacy of touch similar to a jackhammer.  They feared for the health of the instrument. 

Hah, I recently ran across this comment from guitarist Pat Metheny on the same topic:

"if you were to come up from behind me while i was playing, you could easily knock both of my hands off the instrument at any time - i use very little pressure, and i stay very relaxed in both hands at all times. the stiffening up thing you talk about is actually something that i hear in many guitar players - and sometimes i even see guys who are so tight in their right arm - it is no wonder to me that their phrasing is occasionally stiff in the same way."

https://www.patmetheny.com/qa/questionView.cfm?queID=1158

[mishamalchik]

Not at all related to piano, but I had a music faculty associate imply that I only got into my elite college because I'm Latino, then proceed to ask me to help their child with Spanish homework... 

[dcstudio]

Not at all related to piano, but I had a music faculty associate imply that I only got into my elite college because I'm Latino, then proceed to ask me to help their child with Spanish homework... 

I would have said "besame culo" 

[Bob]

I think part of it is the annoyance when you realize it's the end of their knowledge, that what they're telling you is just what they came up with or heard or what they think, but it doesn't actually make sense.  And if that doesn't make sense... What else are they saying that you buy but doesn't actually work?

[lostinidlewonder]

Not to do with music but business and self motivation goal settings, positive thinking etc. What separates good pianists from amazing is their mindset and business skills. So many teachers at University have zero concerting experience, they may have played in many concerts but organising one themselves, promoting it, selling it, they have as much idea about that than a random dude off the street. They often perpetrate a false idea of what it takes to become a concert musician because they have no idea about it themselves! Roger Woodward and I talked much about this while during my time selling out concerts around my town lolol. The prof himself was amazed by my resourcefulness and team that helped organise my concerts and I had no music degree under my belt at all.

[milchhpiano]

This did not come from a college professor, but a well-known accompanist and teacher in my area. I had a lesson with them during a break on school, just because I was working on something by myself and I wanted another pair of ears to play for and get some feedback.

They ended up saying that my entire approach to the keyboard was wrong, that my professors (as well as other very world-renowned pianists who I took Summer lessons with) had no idea what they were teaching and that I was destined to have limitations on anything harder than the Beethoven 110 I was working on. Little did they know I had performed Petroushka two years earlier and my technique certainly did not fail me then...

Anyway, the thing that got me was that they had the smell of alcohol on their breath, and mind you this was 11:00AM. The began to explain that the only way is the Hungarian school, and that you shouldn't break what the masters of the 20th century laid out for us.

Staunch and drunk. What a surreal day that one was!