Getting muscles to relax

[amandack]

So, I'm in my early 30s, and have started piano lessons again after a 15 year break.
In this time, I have managed to get through an engineering degree and severe depression and anxiety.
Playing piano now is way harder because of tension that has been developing in my shoulders over most of my adult life.
Does anyone have any stretches/hints/tips to get generally relaxed before even starting to practice piano? This is my biggest struggle right now.

[iansinclair]

Some yoga related techniques can help.  Try to sit quietly -- but with good posture (not slouching against the back of the chair, but on the other hand not ramrod straight!) and become aware of what you are thinking and feeling.  Then try to identify particular muscles in your shoulders and back (all the way down) and arms and specifically relax them.  Also pay attention to your breathing -- smoothly and evenly (but not obsessively!)

Also, always try to begin your practice with some piece or pieces which you really like and which you just plain enjoy playing and which aren't particularly demanding -- you aren't practicing here, you are just enjoying the freedom of making music you enjoy (I have my own arrangements of several popular songs and country and western and gospel songs! -- sometimes I'll just improvise for a few minutes).  Then begin to work on something which you want to work on.  If tension builds, stop that for a bit and clear your mind of it.  Go on to something else.  You can always come back to it!

Personally I avoid repetitive exercises -- Hanon, Czerny, scales and the like -- like the plague, as they annoy me and make me tense.  But maybe that's just me.

[amandack]

That sounds like a great idea! Usually, I end with those sorts of pieces. Maybe beginning with them will help me relax into playing. Thanks for your advice!

[dcstudio]

You may be lifting your shoulders and holding them as you play.  I do that too.  It's important to check your posture frequently during practice sessions.  I would always try to play through the tension to finish a section which made it worse.
Practicing a yoga type total relaxation technique is very helpful.  The idea being that you can achieve a similar state at the piano very quickly.  It's really impossible to play if you are fighting your muscles. 

[timothy42b]

Do you have a smart phone?

Video your practice.

There is no other way to check your posture at first.  Until you're well trained, proprioception alone is not reliable.