Hopefully a non controversial piano improvisation post on anxiety

[cabbynum]

Being inspired by Nickc for posting about mental health.
I thought i would share these two recordings I did over the winter break.

Holidays are extremely tough for me. My family and I get along now but it wasnt always that way. And holidays exacerbate everything about our dysfunction that freaks me out. The forced merriment, the feelings of being watched and stepping on egg shells and the micromanaging of how we are going to do christmas and how a good time is mandatory. All wigs me the heck out. (Look I am even using cleaner language here.) So i sat at the piano and tried to work through my feelings in that regard.

First one I feel is a good example of lying to yourself of exactly how you feel.

The second is a bit more upfront with where I was at. Very scared, very depressed, very anxious, wanting to escape from where i was but being stuck in some way. very reminiscent in some chord progressions to the previous post about a female protaganist without an E

[ronde_des_sylphes]

I listened to these last night and this morning. Of the two, I definitely prefer the second - I find it very effective in fact. It's interesting how it is close to atonal in places, but yet clearly retains tonal centres. There are certain consistent details which keep it coherent - the relationship of thirds between tonal centres (I noticed the previously mentioned G min - B one; there was also a G min - Eb min one); the rising and falling connected semitones, and the ostinati. Amazing that you managed to clearly set the mood after only two notes! Interesting harmonic language again; there were places where it was genuinely very expressive.

[cabbynum]

I listened to these last night and this morning. Of the two, I definitely prefer the second - I find it very effective in fact. It's interesting how it is close to atonal in places, but yet clearly retains tonal centres. There are certain consistent details which keep it coherent - the relationship of thirds between tonal centres (I noticed the previously mentioned G min - B one; there was also a G min - Eb min one); the rising and falling connected semitones, and the ostinati. Amazing that you managed to clearly set the mood after only two notes! Interesting harmonic language again; there were places where it was genuinely very expressive.

Thank you so much!
There are a tonal relations that I find every now and then in an improv and just fall in love with it for a bit.
I haven't posted this recording yet but I have one that is heavy on the Eb major to G major and those are very effective together.
Thank you for the kind words on my playing, getting the expressiveness down is something that works best for me when I  (this is gonna sound pretentious as hell) meditate on a particular emotion or if I am over whelmed a bit by a feeling. Through tons of therapy I've found it easier to tap into certain emotions.

Now that I'm not practicing all the time all I have time for is improv to be realistic about how to schedule my time around other life events.

[j_tour]

Thank you for putting yourself out there.

If you played both or either for someone not familiar with the literature, it would sound like later Schoenberg or Webern. 

For me, they are both extremely effective pieces.

In fact, the melodic content alone could be written up as regular through-composed pieces.