my teacher always has a very harsh attitude during lesson I am uncomfortable

[claireliii]

my teacher is really strict and doesn't smiles during lesson. She'd criticize me with harsh comments like"I don't want you to see you nod, I want you to really understand what's going on/ You will never get anywhere with this sloppy fast practice like this even if you practice 100 times/ do not think that you can just slack off, do not find any excuse for yourself..."

The problem is, I am not a naughty child. Im an adult student who works really hard and have strong sense of self-esteem. I do not see the value of deprecative teaching. All the teachers I have had before were also strict but would never use any deprecative language. not to mention that she never starts on time for her lessons because she'd always go overtime with her last student(she was 40 mins late one time). and she Never apologized for being late.
Am I too being sensitive here?

[j_tour]

my teacher is really strict and doesn't smiles during lesson. She'd criticize me with harsh comments like"I don't want you to see you nod, I want you to really understand what's going on/ You will never get anywhere with this sloppy fast practice like this even if you practice 100 times/ do not think that you can just slack off, do not find any excuse for yourself..."

Why put up with that?  She sounds completely humorless, and possibly demented in some way.  Like Ilsa She-Wolf of the SS or some James Bond villain.

Although what you've quoted, she does sound right, at least in part.

It sounds more like time to say "See you next Tuesday, teach!  Not.  Bye, Felicia!"  Or, you know just stop showing up without telling her.

[ted]

I agree with j_tour, give her the big "A" and find someone else. It doesn't matter how good she is, manners and courtesy are important. There are plenty of good teachers who do not communicate in such an obnoxious fashion.

[brogers70]

There is always a positive way to frame criticism and to identify problems as opportunities. So, maybe your teacher is right that you need more slow practice or something - then the right approach is for her to show you what is useful and interesting and enjoyable about slow practice. Berating you is not the answer, nor is it a good idea for her to think she's motivating you by getting you to lie in bed at night worrying about how you can prove you're not as incompetent as she thinks. So, I agree with previous responses; find a better teacher. Have a look at some good on-line teachers, like Josh Wright or Graham Fitch. Imagine what lessons with them would be like and use that as a benchmark when evaluating possible new teachers. It's lots of work to learn the piano, but the work is fun and a teacher should not make you hate it.

[keypeg]

thots (I am not asking you to answer these questions.   I am signaling that there are these questions.)

"I don't want you to see you nod, I want you to really understand what's going on."

In what way does she want you to demonstrate this understanding?  Like, what does she want you to do?   For example, teacher explains something concrete.  Student shows, "Like this?"  Student indicates what s/he doesn't understand, instead of politely nodding.  Student takes it home, works with it, and next lesson says "I worked with it, but I don't understand this part."

/ You will never get anywhere with this sloppy fast practice like this even if you practice 100 times/ do not think that you can just slack off, do not find any excuse for yourself..."

How to practise is a big bugaboo that we often see with teachers; i.e. they don't teach how to practise.  "Please teach me how to practise." - and then see if this teacher knows how to teach it.

I came away from my first lessons, which were on violin, with the inkling that there was a "how" that I was just starting to get as far as I had figured it out.  The piano teacher I work with stresses the "how" greatly.  He teaches it to all students, even those who have had music lessons before, because too often this is missing.  In his case, this includes

• "chunking" music into smaller sections, to be practised separately
• "layering in" different elements in those sections during the week, such as getting the notes and fingering; adding things like dynamics when the first is solid
• working in shorter periods of maximum concentration (focus on particular things), maybe several times a day, rather than one long session
• more things

Obviously how you play in front of her might not even reflect how you practised. For example, if a teacher makes me feel uncomfortable constantly, I might end up rushing (or in my case: freezing up and going blank)

Her "feedback" is imprecise and thus sloppy.  It's not really "teaching", is it?

she never starts on time for her lessons because she'd always go overtime with her last student(she was 40 mins late one time). and she Never apologized for being late.

That part shows poor attitude, and is not professional.

[lostinidlewonder]

Bring this up in your next lesson and think carefully how you want to express yourself in a constructive manner. A good teacher will thank you for feedback and enter a serious discussion to make helpful changes, to find a middle ground you both can agree upon, a lesser teacher will blame you or make excuses.

A teacher not smiling and being overly stern is just not useful for lessons, "Sugar catches more flies than vinegar". You should be excited to have another lesson with your teacher rather than dread it. If a teacher never smiles they either simply hate the work they are doing or they have real issues in their life that cloud their capability to be cordial with others.

Not respecting your time is just terrible, you really can tell a lot about someone by how punctual they are and how much they value your own time. Being "time reliable" is one of the more important aspects of a healthy business relationship, it is so important that in the 25+ years I've been teaching those students who are erratic with times or attending classes NEVER last long with me. It is not that I drop them since I never drop a paying client but one who doesn't respect the time for an appointment doesn't really respect the subject itself and thus long term commitment is practically impossible.

Let me try to explain something a little difficult for me to put in words. I can give harsh comments during lessons and make students feel uncomfortable especially if we are drilling something very hard or challenging ourselves in different ways, however, I do this in a very very careful controlled manner, it is dangerous psychology if used inappropriately. Putting your student in a "pressure cooker" so to say, really stretching them until it hurts and challenging that they do better right now rather than later, all are excellent ways to make lessons challenging and a place for growth. But it is a very fine line to tread, tough love ultimately needs to be soft even though its encourgement can be grueling. The suggestions for improvement and the guidance given so they don't burn to death during the process must be given with care, offering them a little oasis of support when they suffer and feel they can't go on, then throwing them back in the desert once again. A sensitive teacher will be able to give just the right amount of tough love during a lesson but if they overstep the mark it can cause a lot of damage. It certainly seems your teacher is not applying it in the correct amounts or is not aware of what she is doing in that respect!