Meh... not bad. I don't think you played on the grunginess of the deep bass enough though as this piece has to sound almost barbaric and grunty... and preferably I thought it could have done without the glissandi and the arpeggios. You did say you cut out some flourishes that Kyle Landry did, but I think the flourishes actually destroy the simple compound beat this piece is meant to have. You also seem to be in a bit of rush compared to the original.
For instance, I kept my arrangement rather low and I think it enhanced the beefy vocal line.
I'll admit the sound quality isn't the best - it wasn't long after that I upgraded from the Zoom H2 to a Zoom H5.
Topic: VIDEO: Skyrim Main theme