Having a musical career

[monbon]

TLDR: I have no delusional dreams of becoming a professional pianist, but since leaving the music world in search of other paths I've been incredibly unhappy. Is there any way back once you're out?

So to introduce myself, I'm from the UK and studied music at undergrad. I was accepted into conservatory but stupidly chose a regular uni because I got in a relationship and conservatory would have meant moving away. I did well enough at that uni- came out with a 1st and the faculty recital prize- but my then piano teacher told me that postgrad performance degrees (whether at uni or conservatory) are a complete waste of time career-wise, so don't bother.

So I went to train as a state school music teacher, only had to leave that course because state schools in the UK only want pop/music tech specialists so I couldn't get a teaching placement as a classical specialist. I was so fed up that I just gave up on the idea of music for a career and my piano lessons fizzled out too. So I've just been a hobby pianist for the last 10 years. And I'm totally miserable. I've tried a bunch of things and nothing has stuck. I just want to get things over with so I can practice, or talk about music with like minded people online etc.

I know that being older, not a fresh graduate, and 10 years out of formal lessons does not make me the most attractive candidate for anything in the music world right now. Is there anything I could do to change this, or am I wasting my time? Also thank you to anyone who has read all of this

[geopianoincanada]

Some folks move to Nashville with the hopes of breaking into country music. Perhaps a similar type of change is something you might want to think about in pursuit of your own personal goals as long as your circumstances will withstand such changes, especially financial changes.

[martinn]

Why not starting a teaching business ? I think that could be successfull, and there are always children and adults wanting a teacher !

[dinoimeri]

TLDR: I have no delusional dreams of becoming a professional pianist, but since leaving the music world in search of other paths I've been incredibly unhappy. Is there any way back once you're out?

So to introduce myself, I'm from the UK and studied music at undergrad. I was accepted into conservatory but stupidly chose a regular uni because I got in a relationship and conservatory would have meant moving away. I did well enough at that uni- came out with a 1st and the faculty recital prize- but my then piano teacher told me that postgrad performance degrees (whether at uni or conservatory) are a complete waste of time career-wise, so don't bother.

So I went to train as a state school music teacher, only had to leave that course because state schools in the UK only want pop/music tech specialists so I couldn't get a teaching placement as a classical specialist. I was so fed up that I just gave up on the idea of music for a career and my piano lessons fizzled out too. So I've just been a hobby pianist for the last 10 years. And I'm totally miserable. I've tried a bunch of things and nothing has stuck. I just want to get things over with so I can practice, or talk about music with like minded people online etc.

I know that being older, not a fresh graduate, and 10 years out of formal lessons does not make me the most attractive candidate for anything in the music world right now. Is there anything I could do to change this, or am I wasting my time? Also thank you to anyone who has read all of this

Dear monbon,

Sounds like music is a very important part of your life and probably always has been and always will be. So, anything that's that important will never be a waste of time. Music plays an important role for you in the way you understand the world and yourself and it is a wonderful platform for expressing yourself. So, every time you find yourself playing the piano - you are a pianist. You don't need to have any accreditation to be a pianist.

A good (and fun) way back is to offer your services as a piano accompanist at first. This can be a good opportunity for you to get back in shape and to network with people - you know how one engagement can lead to more engagements once you start out. Accompanying doesn't take a lot of time out of your already busy schedule and it can be a wonderful change in your everyday life. You can offer your collaboration for free at first (or for symbolic fees) just to start out and to have a feeling that you are headed in the right direction, seeing the fruits of your work. Becoming useful for others will definitely help out in the way you will later stand out from the crowd, but also it will give you enough experience and contacts to launch your own projects later on.

Once you feel comfortable and confident doing that you can also try to organise a recital for yourself. You don't need a big management company for that - you can do all the organisation and promotion. One step at a time.

Most importantly, give yourself the time and a push in the right direction and forget about the expectations. Care more about how you are doing things than about what you will get from doing them. This slight change in mentality can change the game for you.

Let me know your thoughts.. All the best,
Dino

[monbon]

Thank you for all of your replies.

Responding to the first two: I have definitely considered both relocation (my contacts are where I did my BMus and I don't live there anymore) and private teaching where there's more demand for classical vs. the state system.

Most importantly, give yourself the time and a push in the right direction and forget about the expectations. Care more about how you are doing things than about what you will get from doing them. This slight change in mentality can change the game for you.

This mentality is definitely my problem. I get too far ahead of myself and think 'what it doesn't work out' before I've even tried anything. I had to give up work due to mental health (caused by this situation + quarantine giving me too much time with my own thoughts) and while I'm lucky to have a healthy amount of savings I'm scared to do anything with them in case it messes up.

Dino- finding a gentle way back like accompanying and perhaps taking lessons again to build repertoire for potential recitals sounds good. What kind of 'day jobs' do musicians typically do alongside this? I was teaching before (English, not music) but that type of job is exhausting and you don't have energy to do much in your free time. Surely there are things that are more conductive to leading this sort of life?

Thank you again

[anacrusis]

I get your fear. But you don't have to radically obliterate your current life and risk it all to get back into the pianist saddle. You could keep a boring day job that pays decently, and find one, just one gig that draws on your musician background, whether that be teaching privately for two hours after work on Mondays, or playing at a restaurant once a week on Fridays, or what have you. That allows you to explore how you feel about doing musician things without risking everything. Perhaps having a boring job that's not your passion will feel a lot better if you know its fulfilling a purpose fuelling your ability to pursue your passions? Then, if you like the path you are on, you can gradually ramp your piano engagements up until its safe for you to quit your job and pursue piano full time?

[dinoimeri]

Thank you for all of your replies.

Responding to the first two: I have definitely considered both relocation (my contacts are where I did my BMus and I don't live there anymore) and private teaching where there's more demand for classical vs. the state system.

This mentality is definitely my problem. I get too far ahead of myself and think 'what it doesn't work out' before I've even tried anything. I had to give up work due to mental health (caused by this situation + quarantine giving me too much time with my own thoughts) and while I'm lucky to have a healthy amount of savings I'm scared to do anything with them in case it messes up.

Dino- finding a gentle way back like accompanying and perhaps taking lessons again to build repertoire for potential recitals sounds good. What kind of 'day jobs' do musicians typically do alongside this? I was teaching before (English, not music) but that type of job is exhausting and you don't have energy to do much in your free time. Surely there are things that are more conductive to leading this sort of life?

Thank you again

Hi again, monbon.

We all have those "what if it doesn't work out" moments (or periods) in our lives, so don't blame yourself for it. And if anyone had it rough during the lockdowns it was us - musicians and artists in general.

Most of my colleagues pianists teach to support themselves and their families. But, it's not a rule without exceptions. You can think about whatever skills you have that might pay the bills - if you're good with computers or have some interest in technology, you can even learn a bit of programming and be a developer as a day job. It's a high-paying job for what I've heard and you having flexible work time is a possibility. Perhaps it's smart to stick to something that won't take out many hours of your day away.

Of course only you can find the missing piece of your current puzzle, but speaking from my own experience - try to keep things simple, one step at a time, one small victory after the other. If you make smart moves, you'll be out of this in no time.

I wish the best for you,
Dino

[ego0720]

I would challenge your unhappiness and really ask why u feel so.  But an even better focus is what u should do now to be happy. The problem might be the wrong view. And seeing an illusory journey to the other side that u think to be better rather than what it really is (it probably sucks there too for other reasons).

Most ppl in many endeavors face similar problem. The reality is to have a job that pays the bills while pursuing a hobby.  Networking + luck should always kick in bc u never know. That’s how it generally works. Some have a regular job and practice 6-8 hours on weekend.  The hobbyist imo is the middle way that should be the happiest place on earth. So I am puzzled that u r unhappy. If u r unhappy with your current job, maybe it’s finding the right job that allows u more personal time. Or work on time management to allow personal time that will make u happy. What difference does it make for u to be in a program that cultures your understanding (u will probably be alone on the piano anyways) vs studying in chunks on the weekend at home on your schedule? Take it a project at a time. Most pianist we think as great mostly study alone. They may have consultants to guide them but it’s always a) your repertoire b) your unique interpretation that makes u different. There can never be too many great players and it’s nice that we all don’t play the same songs exactly.

Classical pianist face a problem where there is a disconnect with general population. I’m a big classical music fan and get it. But most of the time it’s a personal benefit. Some ppl probably can appreciate if they have other connections to it but classical music are mostly not popular to laymen if u will which makes it hard to relate to these days. Where it needs to be.. lots of work need to be done. The point is to understand that it’s a personal enrichment than it is a value to others. That’s why it is difficult to be a specialist in that area unless u specialize to teach others about the classical way. The cost-benefit isn’t really justified for the skills needed to be acquired but that’s classical for u. The money is in composition or teaching. Even then I question if ppl have motives to have that child prodigy or an enhancement on quality of life. Know the endpoint.

Remember not to dwell on past decisions. Work on the present moment with what u have. And don’t live in the fictional future. I hope u find your happiness. In the end the sun burns out and humankind will vanish in the spectrum.. so nothing really matters except living a good happy life and bringing that happiness to others.

[monbon]

Thank you for your replies    I don't think I can respond in multi-quotes?

anacrusis: I don't have a "current life" to obliterate tbh, only savings. But yes, I need to figure out a middle ground and try to avoid falling into the "let's blow all my savings on this idea" trap, which just scares me out of doing literally anything. Finding a steady job to get me out of this current rut and then adding in gigs around it in the first instance sounds a sensible way to go.

Dino: I did enjoy teaching piano many years ago. It's state school compulsory education that I find a physical and psychological drain (UK schools have a huge staffing problem right now, everyone's quitting!). I imagine I'd be good at programming based on my music and language skills, and if it's flexible/well paid so allowing me to dedicate time to piano then it's a good suggestion. Thank you!

ego0720: I definitely don't see getting back to piano as some magic solution to all of my problems. But at the same time I know that giving up music was when everything started to go wrong for me, and I've discussed this in depth with a therapist. I'm working on not dwelling on that past decision, and part of that is asking 'right, what can I do about it in the present?'. I respectfully disagree that music is just personal enrichment, but I take your point about needing to be of value to others. For example, if someone comes to you for lessons then you are doing something of value to them (I love teaching, just not in a formal classroom context). I used to spend all of my time making piano arrangements, but they were all things I personally wanted to play and I suppose if I channelled those talents to film/game arrangements there might be some money in that (not a substantial income but people do buy that stuff!)

[ephraim]

I live in London, am 76 years old and have been a professional musician and teacher since 1967. The good news is that I have never been out of work. The less good news is that I have had to make many compromises on the way, taking jobs that have paid well but have not given me much creative satisfaction.
I have been the musical director of many pantomimes, and although enjoyed writing the music, have not enjoyed playing three show a day and living away from home.
So my personal answer is not to be too fussy but at least make a living.
https://www.learnjazzpianoonline.com