Now I know I have to start from the bottom and work my way up, to unlearn my bad habits … I am not looking forward to playing very simple pieces when I'm used to playing the music I feel passionate about (even if in a limited sense).
Any tips, or comments, are appreciated. Is the time I've spent wasted? Or will I be able to fill in the gaps quickly? Did anyone else start this way?
Deciphering in itself is not bad habit. It’s similar to the Suzuki method because 1) motivates people 2) uses tools that are natural to a player. However you can develop bad habits that’s associated with self learning which is evident all over YouTube videos. Those do have to be unlearned and then fixed up. And it takes 4-5 times the effort than in doing it right the first time because 1) unlearn the bad habit 2) learn right habit. It takes a conscious effort at first then one has to stop thinking and make the new habit subconscious. It’s not something to dwell on. The problem is pervasive bc the cost to hire a teacher is generally expensive (they have to make a modest living) and the student never knows if they get something out. The value of a good teacher becomes obvious but only after realizing problems when they manifest. Good teachers usually rely on their reputation locally and find it adequate to find students on this alone with verbal recommendations.
I don’t know of anyone who didn’t screw up somehow. Music, due to his complex nature, can be stratified to many elements. It’s not wrong to start with one skill and proceed from there. And each chooses their starting point. But, of all skills, sight reading is the end game and it has its challenges. It’s probably the least interesting of all skill set to develop because 1) it takes concentration 2) it’s slow to build 3) it’s unmusical in the beginning (“boring” to most). It wouldn’t motivate a person necessarily at the beginning and probably would ward off many potential students. It should be something to start at some point of the journey and I don’t know of any that begins with sight reading.
Incorporating sight reading skill is a chore we all must eventually do. Deciphering limits a player to only play songs that are memorized via the innate abilities (ear usually, even that may be missing making music a disinclined hobby for that portion of the population which are mostly western with monotone language). One can probably naturally build that sight skill through repertoire but has to be a mindful effort. Personally, it is the input of looking at the sheet and developing the mind-created memory of sight, hearing, and or touch (fingering) which then translate to the physical execution of the song. Integration of the multiple skills is why it’s a forever hobby with no end.
The problem many face by design is that the playing level mismatches with impromptu reading, leading to an ego check because it’s humbling to recognize the reading ability as fetal while the playing can very advance. Such is the case for students of Suzuki.
Initially, sight reading is interpreted as notereading with garbles. Then one finds those garbles actually mean something as the knowledge builds. The beauty is in how music showcases everything about you.. and that’s literally and figuratively. One can learn a lot about oneself in the approach. That can improve or transcend skills in other areas of life.
I wouldn’t see this as starting over again or at the bottom of the totem pole.. or even a backward step (ego talking). It’s part of the journey to move forward into a wonderful challenge. You still use deciphering skills (or decoding) but you will add other skills to it to make it more efficient and better. Lots of ppl did what u did and u r not alone (again, by design). You did not waste your time. And you will be able to fill the gap (but not quickly). Sight reading requires starting with easier pieces as it is an independent skill from playing. When you harmonize these two skills as one.. that’s the balance we all hope to achieve. It’s gonna be a long journey but rather than see it as a binary outcome.. think of it as part of your curriculum. U can set aside 5-15 minutes to do that. If u r hardcore maybe 30 minutes. It’s not something anyone enjoys doing but it’s the ultimate endpoint when somebody hands u a sheet and after a few minutes u just play it.