Am I as bad as i think i am?

[poohpiano]

I’ve played piano for 6 years and only in the past two have I really gotten into it, started practicing more, and getting into classical. I’ve been participating in many high school age only events (masterclasses, ensembles, workshops, etc) for 2 years even though I only actually started high school a month ago (my piano teacher has connections).

At these events, mainly the master classes, I hear students in high school and am absolutely amazed. I sound nowhere near their level. I know it is natural to feel overly self-critical, but I just don’t think I’m there. I know I just started high school and many of them were juniors and seniors (and i was only in 7 & 8th grade), but regardless, when I listen to myself play, I hear choppy, bad playing and my piano teacher tells me it’s good, but I feel like she’s lying.

[ranjit]

Which pieces do you play, and how well?

Sure, it's likely other students play well, but that doesn't mean your playing is bad. Also, most of them have probably been playing for longer.

I don't think it's necessarily true that your teacher is lying. It may just be that her expectations are not that high. Everyone sucks relative to someone else.

If you hear that you're choppy and so on, that's great. Did you bring up exactly what you heard to your teacher? Sometimes they may believe that such things aren't imminently important to focus on, but still notice them. I would hope that a good teacher would be able to hear the same and let you know where the difference lies. You probably don't want a teacher who tells you that you suck all the time either, and I had that kind of experience -- even if they aren't wrong, it's more demotivating than you might think.

Also, at a masterclass, many of the participants would have likely had better teachers. There are several people out there who take lessons since a young age from teachers with doctorates or even piano professors.

Just some of my thoughts in a random order

[poohpiano]

Which pieces do you play, and how well?

Some of my latest repertoire is Bach’s 13th invention, Claire De Lune, Chopin’s funeral march, and Brahms 1st, 4th and 15th waltzes. I’m preparing for a master class now and will be playing the invention.

[lostinidlewonder]

The root of your problem is comparing yourself with others. There is no point in doing this, don't you love to play the piano? That should be enough.

[ranjit]

Some of my latest repertoire is Bach’s 13th invention, Claire De Lune, Chopin’s funeral march, and Brahms 1st, 4th and 15th waltzes. I’m preparing for a master class now and will be playing the invention.

I guess the question is, what's your goal with the piano? Are you feeling this way because you actually aren't satisfied with the way your teacher teaches or think it's too slow, or is it simply out of jealousy? Comparison is endless, if you look online you will find prodigies who could play Fantaisie Impromptu after two years. Think of what you want to accomplish for yourself rather than only comparing yourself to others.

[ego0720]

… I hear students in high school and am absolutely amazed. I sound nowhere near their level. I know it is natural to feel overly self-critical, but I just don’t think I’m there…

Don’t worry. We all do that. The secret is to eliminate that thought. Maybe it’s true. Maybe not. It’s not important. What is important is to kindle & rekindle that fire. Stay in the game. I’m still trying to figure out why there aren’t more pianist. In China 40 million kids do it. In USA not as much as should be.

There can never be too many good pianist. It’s an art. Everyone should offer a creative difference in some way expressive or otherwise. I can listen to pianist play all day. Also, you are tuned to your skills. That much is very advance. Keep at it and work at what u know are your problems. That makes it more satisfying later.

[bryfarr]

... when I listen to myself play, I hear choppy, bad playing and my piano teacher tells me it’s good, but I feel like she’s lying. ...

If you can hear it sounding "bad" then there's a path forward for making it better ... if the choppy playing sounded fine, you would be stuck.  Your teacher is probably saying it's fine for the number of years/months you've been practicing.  Is her playing good, i.e. "smooth"?  If not ... red flag.
Obviously, as others have said,  it doesn't help to compare oneself to others - - maybe you shouldn't be going to these "advanced" master classes yet, why torture yourself?
I recommend you post your Bach Two Part Invention here and you'll get feedback on what's working and what's not working in your technique and approach...
good luck!

[worlds-worst-meditator]

The root of your problem is comparing yourself with others. There is no point in doing this, don't you love to play the piano? That should be enough.

Of course no one would argue with that statement regarding amateurs. But human beings are inherently competitive. God by means of evolution and perhaps something even more mysterious, made us that way to keep us striving. I totally understand the original poster's tendency to compare himself and his progress to others. In fact, who doesn't do that, especially when of a young age?

[ego0720]

Of course no one would argue with that statement regarding amateurs. But human beings are inherently competitive. God by means of evolution and perhaps something even more mysterious, made us that way to keep us striving. I totally understand the original poster's tendency to compare himself and his progress to others. In fact, who doesn't do that, especially when of a young age?

Some people who have gone far have been professionally coached to focus on themselves to the exclusion of comparison against others.  You are correct that it’s human nature to look at others. But it’s a psychological hurdle that is limiting and mostly unhealthy.  Healthy practice is eliminating comparison of oneself to others and rather making achievable weekly goals of bettering oneself and being happy but never complacent. 

When we see others who have done exceptional, we should approach it with open arms and embrace how we admire such accomplishments and letting it motivate us to better ourselves. It may serve some purpose as of a standard or push but this is still of an idea that should be incorporated with reservation. We do so carefully as to not allow it to control our minds so much as to let it suggest in our mind of an inspiration to continue working. Should such experience be a discouragement for a person is an internal conflict that needs revision to change the wrong view of that experience. In essence, we must change from within if we are unhappy of our “truth” and focus on the inner work. The easiest way is by reframing .. as the proverbial phrase goes is the “glass half full or half empty”? That depends on what we choose to adopt. Both are factually correct. We focus rather not on the activities but on the effects such activities have on our psyche.

[skylight]

The root of your problem is comparing yourself with others. There is no point in doing this, don't you love to play the piano? That should be enough.

Thank you for reminding us all why we practice and play - for ourselves (and to give enjoyment to others).

[lostinidlewonder]

Thank you for reminding us all why we practice and play - for ourselves (and to give enjoyment to others).

No problems, the world is competitive enough as it is, we should learn to enjoy the good fruits of our own life and as you rightly included, share that with others!

[lostinidlewonder]

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[skari123]

I know I just started high school and many of them were juniors and seniors (and i was only in 7 & 8th grade), but regardless, when I listen to myself play, I hear choppy, bad playing and my piano teacher tells me it’s good, but I feel like she’s lying.

The reason why you think your teacher is lying is probably because you both recognise that your playing could be better, but neither of you know why. It is hard to measure if you are only being overly critical of yourself or just have a really good sense of how you think you should sound, but don't stress to much about it. Many of us feel often like we don't belong with all those great pianists that often play so effortlessly that they make us feel like worse players. I've come to realise that most of these ''great players'' talent comes from hours and hours of slaving at the piano. Not that it is the best way to practice in my opinion, but it works and you should take that into account. Given that you haven't had as much opportunity to practice as much as them you should still be proud that you have progressed more in a relatively shorter time than they did. Don't you think that it would make you a fundamentally better pianist than them? At least I would believe so.