Intense, Emotional, Melancholic Piano Composition , I'd Love Your Feedback

[mustafa turna]

I composed this piece only during times when my mood was low, and I believe this is how I conveyed my most intense and genuine feelings. I've only had the opportunity to share my piece with a few of my acquaintances, and I haven't received much feedback from other pianists yet. That's why I thought sharing it on this forum would be very helpful for me. I would really appreciate it if you could answer my questions on what can be improved technically and what I should work on. Thank you in advance.

[key-press_dude]

Hello Mustafa!,
• If you asked me—since you have, in general—I‘d say you could get better with time focusing on subjecting (me/us[*my pronouns]) to less monotonous plodding or barrenly laborious melodies (sparse but without tension, meaning or interest), especially-if you will, since Chopin already did incarnations of those in ways highly difficult to match–in fairness—¿right‽
The flourish at the end was that classic Flash of talent in the Pan—in that way,: 2 extremes.

[dizzyfingers]

Since someone else downloaded the file without complaint, I ventured to do so as well.

You have to realize who you're audience is here - - people who play and listen to the great masters of piano, an audience schooled in the highest caliber of composition.

That said.  I recognize that you have organized the piece carefully, and I think it is effective: single melody line, double the notes per beat for a more intense texture, melody again but with full chords, back to the eighth note theme, a quick cadenza.

I think the melody is interesting.  The harmony is quite simple, even a bit tiresome in it's repetition.  Even for the style you're composing in - pop - it needs more variety.

The recording itself is quite off balance with the left hand being way too loud.  The first thing I would change is to come up with a different format for the lh - something less ponderous than oom-pa-pa.  The second thing to change is the harmonic plan.  I recommend copying the harmonic sequence from a piece you admire - it would be very instructive, you could try, for example, Chopin's funeral march prelude.

Maybe you could tell us a little bit about yourself - - your history of studying music, piano, composition, etc. 

[mustafa turna]

Since someone else downloaded the file without complaint, I ventured to do so as well.

You have to realize who you're audience is here - - people who play and listen to the great masters of piano, an audience schooled in the highest caliber of composition.

That said.  I recognize that you have organized the piece carefully, and I think it is effective: single melody line, double the notes per beat for a more intense texture, melody again but with full chords, back to the eighth note theme, a quick cadenza.

I think the melody is interesting.  The harmony is quite simple, even a bit tiresome in it's repetition.  Even for the style you're composing in - pop - it needs more variety.

The recording itself is quite off balance with the left hand being way too loud.  The first thing I would change is to come up with a different format for the lh - something less ponderous than oom-pa-pa.  The second thing to change is the harmonic plan.  I recommend copying the harmonic sequence from a piece you admire - it would be very instructive, you could try, for example, Chopin's funeral march prelude.

Maybe you could tell us a little bit about yourself - - your history of studying music, piano, composition, etc.

Hello,

First of all, thank you very much for your feedback. I’m 19 years old and have only been playing the piano for four years. I’ve never had the chance to receive formal musical training. My interest in the piano started with the melodica, and later, I bought a digital piano. I tried to improve on my own by dedicating time to practice and learning a few pieces by following MIDI visuals in YouTube tutorial videos.

However, since this method took a long time, I wanted to explore the piano on my own, and I started composing spontaneously. Of course, since I’m not a professional, my compositions might not be at a level to be considered real compositions, and I acknowledge that they may have technical shortcomings. My main curiosity was to hear the opinions of professionals, which is why I joined this forum.

As for the recording, I had the option to record my digital piano with my phone, but the sound quality would have been poor. I then considered recording MIDI, but some keys on my piano were malfunctioning, so that wasn’t an option either. In the end, I manually wrote the MIDI, which resulted in a somewhat poor dynamic range and an imbalance between the left and right hand.

I also have another composition that I previously recorded on an acoustic piano and uploaded to YouTube. If you'd like to listen, here is my composition
:

Thank you again for your suggestions.

[mustafa turna]

Hello Mustafa!,
• If you asked me—since you have, in general—I‘d say you could get better with time focusing on subjecting (me/us[*my pronouns]) to less monotonous plodding or barrenly laborious melodies (sparse but without tension, meaning or interest), especially-if you will, since Chopin already did incarnations of those in ways highly difficult to match–in fairness—¿right‽
The flourish at the end was that classic Flash of talent in the Pan—in that way,: 2 extremes.

Hello,

Thank you for your feedback. I understand what you mean regarding the melodies and structure. My approach to composing is still developing, and I’m exploring ways to add more depth and tension. I appreciate your thoughts on Chopin, his style is truly unique and perfect, but my goal in the composition process wasn’t to capture the technical richness of Chopin’s works, and frankly, I wouldn’t be able to even if I tried. I just created music that came from my heart, and if there are areas in this music that are open to development, I wanted to hear from the skilled and knowledgeable professional musicians in this forum about what those areas might be. I will continue working to make my pieces more engaging. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.