Art can be appreciated on many levels.
If we are to compare it to professional composition you are just going to lose, if that upsets you or you want a detailed plan how to make your composition better, well, I really think trying to solve that on a discussion board is not the right place. Maybe the fact that you borrowed completely from Ave Maria makes it not sound like a composition of your own but rather an arrangement for beginners. Hey, that's fine, beginners need heaps of music, but generally music at that level is not going to "wow" anyone or get you a wide array of compliments.
Also I think you have totally missed an important point given by brogers70, reread it and accept it otherwise why are you bothering to do it at all?
You also seem highly strung, not sure why, but on the internet it's not healthy to lay yourself bare if you don't have some thick skin.