That's it, Bernhard can't be real

[cziffra]

Okay, this supposed "human being" as we have been led to believe, is actually a machine.  THere's just no other explanation. 

Look at the statistics: Bernhard has, for the past two years, posted an average of 6 posts a day.  Judging by his last 6 posts, thats 1,153 words.  And this is a rather short sample- oftentimes bernhard posts enclopeadic references several posts long.  WHo has time to churn out >1000 words a day?  Especially when one is giving daily lessons to many pupils and learning more than 20 new pieces a year. 

THere is onlu one conclusion- bernhard is actually a computer prgram designed to churn out cleverly constructed piano instruction formed from thousands of different articles and books around the world, phrased in such a way as to consistently appear to be the voice of a person. 

As proof of this claim, i cite any number of bernhard's posts in which upwards of 5 or 10 other pianoforum posts are linked, and usually they are exactly related to the topic at hand.  How can a human possibly have such a good knowledge the website's history?  this sort of mechanical precision is only possible with a large electronic database accessed by a super-computer named BERNHARD- that stands for Bloody Efficient, Really Nice, Helpful Artist-Recruitment Device. 

I might be laughed at for this claim, but i know it's true. 

i know...

 

[rlefebvr]

Actually, this is not the first time someone has come to this conclusion.

Just a matter of time before B, posts links  to those threads also.

[xvimbi]

It's a simple matter of having a notebook with the thread titles and a short, one-sentence synopsis. Copy and paste does the rest. Efficient and economic.

[SDL]

Coming from a computer programmer background I doubt this is a program.  I know how difficult it is to base algorithms on possiblities of a user chosing certain text.

He can be personal see :
https://pianoforum.net/smf/index.php/topic,2255.msg72046.html#msg72046

there is a short answer in there if you look carefully down the list.  You can't predict answers by sorting on the text given for the possible solution.

I think he's just a cut and paste man.  Bernhard explain yourself ad be taken seriously!

[DarkWind]

So what if he's a robot? He's a pretty cool robot...

[Brian Healey]

It's called the search feature. It seems pretty rare at this point that someone will come up with a topic that hasn't been discussed before at least once.  All you have to do is use the little search button at the top of the page, do a search for that subject, and you can come up with a list of past threads on that topic, just like Bernhard does, in about 5 min, maybe less.

Plus, take into account the guy has close to 3000 posts (I think. Either way, it's a lot), after all that time, I'm sure he's learned how to operate at maximum efficiency. 


Peace,
Bri

[Bob]

I've joked around that Bernhard was a program.  (Hope he takes that as a compliment.)

Bernhard is also older than many people here.  He's studied and taught piano.  From what I've read, he has his teaching the way HE wants it and not how it has to be in order to make a living. 

The advice -- it's what he does and he enjoys his work.  He's good at giving advice.

The knowledge -- He's studied piano for a long time.  Add to that the power of the internet searches to check for specifics.  I would guess he's got some sort of database going though and he is constantly collecting information as he comes across it.  Do you have a database Bernhard?  Would you mind sharing that with us all?  Imagine what would happen if everyone was contributing to an organized database.  The pf forum is good, but it's sort of haphazard.  I haven't seen anyone being too success with trying to organize the information... except Bernhard of course.

The amount -- I remember reading he has some special kind of keyboard and he can type fast.

[will]

cziffra: respect for the interesting and downright hilarious post. 

[cziffra]

 

[jas]

Not to sound too much like a clueless new person, but who's Bernhard?

Jas

[Bob]

Yes.  Who is Bernhard?

[Brian Healey]

Who isn't Bernhard?

Let that bake your noodle for a little bit.......



Peace,
Bri

[Ziggy]

Bernhard. Is. God.

[/glow]

[m1469]

Who isn't Bernhard?

Let that bake your noodle for a little bit.......

Well, he is not me, at least as far as I can tell.... 

[cziffra]

Who is Bernhard?

Well, given we have talked about him posting messages on the forum, perhaps he is a member of the pianoforum?

And considering there is a member's list available, perhaps you could have scanned through all names starting with B to look for Bernhard?

You would have found this: https://pianoforum.net/smf/index.php?action=profile;u=1627

[Daevren]

Hey, don't dehumanise him.

Alot of people here could be like Bernard if they are his age, should they want that.

[keys]

Ha ha this forum really has a "Bernhard fan club" element to it. No wonder he spends so much time here!

[BoliverAllmon]

well why wouldn't we be fans. I mean he has helped numerous people alot.

boliver

[keys]

He definitely has boliver, myself included . Nothing wrong with a fan club! What the heck, I call president!

[BoliverAllmon]

well, I will claim down the pecking order. Been a real arse and stubborn to the man before just to get a slap in the face later and realize that yep he was right.

boliver

[janice]

Nothing wrong with a fan club! What the heck, I call president!

Umm.....(clears throat)......I already beat you to the punch!  Read my signature!  I am the "better half" of the "Co" part of it! LOL  My other half hasn't been around for awhile, but I bet that she will see this! hehe

[jas]

Well, given we have talked about him posting messages on the forum, perhaps he is a member of the pianoforum?

And considering there is a member's list available, perhaps you could have scanned through all names starting with B to look for Bernhard?

You would have found this: https://pianoforum.net/smf/index.php?action=profile;u=1627

Well, if we're making suggestions here, perhaps you could put a lid on the unnecessary rudeness?

Jas

[keys]

Umm.....(clears throat)......I already beat you to the punch! Read my signature! I am the "better half" of the "Co" part of it! LOL My other half hasn't been around for awhile, but I bet that she will see this! hehe

lol hmm... I call princess!

[kilini]

Bernhard is the mastermind behind an evil plot--to destroy pianists worldwide and suck out their mental stamina!

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!111111111111one!

[bernhard]

 

[pigscanfly]

this post is hilarious

[Sergey R]

Bernhard's cool, who or whatever he is...

[rafant]

Bernhard = Lighthouse.

For all kind of pianist-boats.

[fred smalls]

I
I  <--- That was supposed to be my 100th post, but I messed up editing it and
V         accidentaly posted twice, god im useless.......

[fred smalls]

I might be laughed at for this claim, but i know it's true. 

i know...

 

LOL (hey this is my 100th post, and what a bad, useless, post it is too.... Also, cziffra did have to be credited for these great last lines...) O well my 99th one was worth its time.