new work of mine, please listen...

[rtoscano]

direct link,

https://s9.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0CTKZX9IYS0QD2X622ECQ0OMQB


variations on a theme... comments welcome,

[rtoscano]

please give me some feedback, if you listen...

[Dazzer]

i don't really know where the piece is going .

just seems to ... go on and on and on towards nothing...

i don't think its anything to do with the pianist either.

Maybe its because its different from more "mainstream" stuff... this is just weird to me.

[rtoscano]

well, its variations on the first theme that is stated, so it goes towards variations on that theme...

and its a sampled piano, not a real performer...

im gonna get a new link up, that one expired...

I can see what you are saying though, any more comments?

one more comment: the name of the piece is ETERNA, which means infinite, forever... essentially, you hit the nail on the head. I was trying to convey a short piece, variation, into something that goes towards nothingness... so, in a sense, I like what you have to say.

more comments welcome by all...

[rtoscano]

fixed the broken link, sorry about that... please listen... and please comment...

thanks...

[rtoscano]

guys, no one has any comments?

no one heard the piece... I'll let this one die then, but, i was expecting a bit more movement from this board. I got more feedback from non music forums...

this is supposed to be the composition section of a piano forum... oh well,

hope those who downloaded enjoyed it at least...

[Lance Morrison]

i dont know what to say, because i am worthless, i have no ability for musical analysis....i have things i want to say but dont want to sound like an uneducated idiot. i like the work though, really,......sigh, sorry, wish i could say more, i'll try to to listen more and put more thought into it.

don't worry, it's hard to get a decent thread going on this forum; mine failed

[rtoscano]

thank you for your comments, im glad you listened...

and I take what you have to say as a compliment...

I dont need musical advice, simply, Id like to hear what people think or feel from the composition...

whether they like it or hate it and why...

[silva]

I posted a song of mine on another thread, over 80 people looked at it and one replied lol :p

- Silva

[tds]

sorry about the delay. i will listen to it and let you know. best, tds

[tds]

ok. i heard it. *sigh*.......the piece wants to be big, but turns up to be defectively inadequte. for your information: when you composed a piece in the 18/19th century style, you are bound to be compared with giant composers. unless you have unique ideas and something to say with the piece in a very artistic way, your composition remains your personal composition, and without any single honest interest from the public. it is but different, if you do it for your own pleasure--hobby ( and not job ).

some suggestion: wouldn't it be MUCH more affective if it's say 10-20 minutes longer? try not be too timid with exploring possibilities. this set of variations needs a best variety of texture, style, tonality and colour, in order to cast enough effects. as you know, the theme itself is a big sounding theme. now, think about it in paralell to architecture. when you see a building with a grand front gate, you bet you know what you expect. OR choose other theme to suit your chosen length of composition.

my two cents, tds

[Lance Morrison]

nice comments, i wish i could have articulated something similar

[rtoscano]

interesting point, I had to keep the piece to 5 minutes though... it could not be longer then that... I would like to extend some of it myself... but, I have since moved on from this piece...

I have no interest in limiting myself to just a 19th century sound, though I understand what you mean, I didnt keep it in any style on purpose...

I tend to think a piece like this can be extended by a few minutes... But, i tend not to like variation works that go on and on... I didnt think that the lenght itself was a problem, but, more so that the transitions could have been articulated differently.

"unless you have unique ideas and something to say with the piece in a very artistic way, your composition remains your personal composition, and without any single honest interest from the public."

this doesnt make sense, can you re-articulate your response, thanks...

I cant say there is anything ground breaking about what I wrote here, defenitly not the case. But, I tend to think it stays together in a decent way... (maybe it could be extended as you say, sure)... but, the piece doesnt seem to ramble on and on to me... how do you feel about that?

once again, thanks...

ps- this composition won a piano competition, and was selected to be played at a recital along side 7 other winners... here in berklee...

 

[Curare]

First off - I enjoyed it because it exhibits a Romantic style - which is at present my favorite.  Some random thoughts that struck me:

1.    The tone of the theme brought to my mind Chopin's Prelude in C minor, Op. 28, no. 20.

2.    The second variation immediately reminded me of the opening to Rachmaninov's famous prelude in C sharp minor. 

I don't mean to insinuate that your piece is not an original, but while writing in that style it's going to be difficult to avoid attracting comparison with the thousands of Romantic pieces already out there.  Sorry I don't have much else to say from an analysis standpoint as the composition is just beyond my present limit of theoretical knowledge.  It is very pleasing, though, to my aural palate.

Congratulations on the competition btw...

[tds]

interesting point, I had to keep the piece to 5 minutes though... it could not be longer then that... I would like to extend some of it myself... but, I have since moved on from this piece...

it's up to you

I have no interest in limiting myself to just a 19th century sound, though I understand what you mean, I didnt keep it in any style on purpose...

you composition is extremely tonal. "no interest in limiting myself to just a 19th century sound" (rtoscano). do you happen to think that it is modern and experimental?

"i didn't keep it in any style on purpose...". (rtoscano) you did that for any particular purpose?

I didnt think that the lenght itself was a problem, but, more so that the transitions could have been articulated differently.

it's good that you have an opinion. i stick with mine ( since you asked my opinion ). Eterna, huh? infinate, forever! dont you think your piece is rather too short, emotional and dramatic to line up nicely with this concept

"unless you have unique ideas and something to say with the piece in a very artistic way, your composition remains your personal composition, and without any single honest interest from the public."

this doesnt make sense, can you re-articulate your response, thanks...

what you are trying to say in your composition? anything extraordinary?

I cant say there is anything ground breaking about what I wrote here, defenitly not the case. But, I tend to think it stays together in a decent way... (maybe it could be extended as you say, sure)... but, the piece doesnt seem to ramble on and on to me... how do you feel about that?

lemme put this in better perspective. you see flat tyre? that is an entity, too. it stays together as.... flat tyre. "purpose" is a better word for you

but, the piece doesnt seem to ramble on and on to me... how do you feel about that?

again, back to the question: what are you trying to say with this piece?

ps- this composition won a piano competition, and was selected to be played at a recital along side 7 other winners... here in berklee...

 

that, i must say congratulations!

best, tds

[mound]

I clicked the link and waited several minutes, nothing loaded

[Dazzer]

there isn't a composition thread on this forum

this is a REPETOIRE forum.

though someone did suggest a board for people composing for piano and such.

[lostinidlewonder]

1st Variation:
I thought the opening everything is a little too evenly played. There are particular melodic notes which need to be brought out with > way way more to make this style of constant chord pulsing playing more effective/interesting.

2nd Variation:
Started with some interesting sounding chords, but then it dissapears when the LH plays its single notes. the RH should come up with something to support it instead of just chords, otherwise it sounds too much like an excersise and definatly something to echo the chord ideas you started the variation with.

3rd Variation:
Big Chord jumping section. Hold back some of the leaps to the upper chords to make the tension increased and then the listener can understand where you are going instead of just listening to it jump down, up, down, up, down, up so on. The last chords repeated in the RH where good, but then you just decided to end by repeating it down an octave. Would have been nice to hear that move somewhere and develop 3:45ish-4:00.

4th Variation:
The sustained C notes. Just sounds too detached to me from what was before. There seems to be little memory of what was played before expressed here.

not bad to listen as background music.

[rtoscano]

thanks for all the feedback,