Tuberculosis is forcing me to leave...

[pocorina]

Day ten now. Puma, you are right, a lot has happened in a short time.

By "And can I really let him into my life like this", i meant: he has TB and is convinced that he is going to die. So if I get into a relationship with him and he dies in a few months, where does that leave me? Heartbroken, that is what.

Anyhow, incase you were wondering it was seven AM, not PM. Also, because so many of you are saying it, kissing him when he has TB carries no risk for me. His TB is no longer highly contagious, and even if it was, I also have TB and am gradually building up a natural immunity. But even so - look at chopin and sand!! she never caught it off him, did she?

Anyhow, so today we all had to go on one of our daily walks, to make use of the "wonderful Scottish fresh air". So I was just walking along near the front, and Vikram caught up and held my hand all the while. Nothing else, just held my hand. Which was nice, and every now and then he'd keep glancing down at me and giving me one of those lovely smiles of his.

And, no offence, but I am an atheist so there is basically no point in talking about the bible because not only have i never read any of it, but I don't believe in God.

Anyway, so Vikram and I spent the whole day together . Just chatting; nothing more (do not worry!!). And I learned a lot about him, like for instance he ADORES playing chess (just like me) and also likes to draw! He showed me this sketch he did of me (it's actually really good).

Well, bye for now

Remy

[pianonut]

i don't believe what you said, Remy, that you don't believe in God.  do you know why?  because you capitalized his name.  people who are true athiests use 'god' with a small 'g.'  i am encouraged because you are quite smart at your age and are aware of the possibility, but not yet able to know Him.  that's ok.  i won't push anything that you don't want to hear.  i just find it amazing that a 14 year old would honor His name despite not really understanding why He allows sufferring and all.  And, if you have personal family difficulties, that is even more not understandable sometimes.

My father died when i was two.  this was a great difficulty in my life.  But, you have to teach yourself to value yourself (even tho you may not get it from a father).  You need to do what many do when they go to psychologists.  To start telling yourself the things you wish you would hear.  'I love you,' 'you're doing good,'  'keep it up,' and have another place in your room for daily goals.  when you are busy, as Puma says, you can give people a reason why you can't meet at one time over another.  sleep can be one goal.  if you set a goal for sleeping, someone knocking on the door might not let you get all the rest you need.  yes, i might be overprotective, but if one has a parent would you want them to let you do everything that you want to?  no.  even if you complain.

i look back and thank my mom over and over.  she was encouraging and yet we fought constantly.  i wanted to do this or that, and she would say no.  i'd try to figure ways around, and later in life found her to correct on pretty much everything.  i broke up with a boyfriend at around 17 and it WAS traumatic.  getting to know someone really well does take time.  MAKE vikram take it slow.  just don't give him what he wants any more than just the hand hold or whatever.  tell him you're not ready for a relationship that's deeper than friendship.  if he sticks with you for the long haul (like 3 or 4 years) then you'll know a lot more about him - and whether he is the right person.  not just, he likes playing chess.  playing chess means to me that he's able to play a game, too.  you want to know the honest truth ...if you are looking to value yourself.

in life you have the opportunity to meet so many different personalities and characters.  you can compare the best when you are a few years older and have met other people, too.  tell Vikram that you are content to be friends for a while and get to know other people too. he should understand this, considering your age!  This is exactly what i would tell my own daughter. 

[Aniam]

Not sure if I can horn in here, since you don't know me, but...

Pocorina, have you ever done any writing? Cause from your posts I think you'd be a great writer! You might want to save them or otherwise keep some sort of journal, and then when this is over and not so fresh and painful you could write a good account of it, fictionalized or otherwise.

P.S. You sound like a strong person who is going to come through this in grand style. 

[janice]

I think it's neat that all you and Vikram did was hold hands on a long walk!  Of course you can let him into your life.  Look at it like this, your life will be richer for having had known him. You know that he might die, so it's not like you didn't know that from the beginning.  I just could imagine losing someone I loved.  It seems that you would be setting yourself up for heartbreak, but (maybe this is bad advice.  I keep forgetting that you are only 14!!)your life will be so much richer for having been his friend and known him! Just keep your standards high, and don't let him take advantage of you.  I can imagine that someone in his position might think "I don't want to die without ever having had sex!"  Ok, don't laugh!  But sex is all young guys think about!  I don't mean to be overprotective!

You said that you are an atheist.  Since you stike me as a very intelligent and articulate person, I think that if you want to be an atheist, you need to be an INFORMED atheist.  You need to investigate just what it is that you are saying doesn't exist.  It's odd that you haven't read the Bible, yet you claim that it's true author (God inspired humans to write the books of the Bible) doesn't exist.  So you need to do some investigating on your own and see what claims the Bible makes, the arguments for and against it, and basically use your brain and come to conclusions yourself.  Hey, you have alot of time on your hands now, right?!

Oh--there were a couple of PF chats this week.  Just kind of spontaneous ones.  Like 7 or 8 of us got together and shot the breeze and talked about piano and this and that!  Both times, we thought that it would be great to have you join us!  If you have access to a computer (and you do, obviously) you can probably download AIM.  If you want to, just post and someone will help you with it.

[pocorina]

That's a good idea Janice - I will see if I can download AIM right away so we can chat (as you said - I have a lot of time on my hands). It's strange that no one else here ever seems to use the computer (the staff have their own one). It's free for about half of the day!

I wonder - can you transfer files over AIM? Aniam asked me if I write, and actually this is a keen interest of mine (magazine committee at school etc.) And in English class I had to write a short story, around eight pages, and I got an A* for this, and I thought you guys all might be interested in reading it seeing as it's about music and musicians. The title is "Perfect Fugue", and I brought it with me to Scotland to do some fine-tuning, and I typed it up at last.

Day twelve! I've nearly been here two weeks, so theotetically I could nearly be 25% of the way through this!

Vikram has been really nice actually. He's calmed down a bit from such an intense start, and he's not pushy or anything. It's like he just wants somebody who he can be close to (but more than a friend) because basically he has no one in his life and I guess no one wants to risk dying alone, do they? He's just content to sit with me playing chess or writing poems, telling me how sweet I am and playing with my hair. I guess I am getting to like him a lot more these days.

With regards to my health, I think I can already feel a tiny bit of difference (could just be my imagination). They are gradually decreasing my dose of morphine, weening me off, and they're wanting me to take more mild painkillers, including herbal varieties. I still cough up a little blood, but my fever is not quite as high (normally around 38.5 instead of 39).

I'll tell you all my AIM address once I get one set up!

Remy

[janice]

That's a good idea Janice - I will see if I can download AIM right away so we can chat (as you said - I have a lot of time on my hands).

Great!  Just go to www.aim.com and take it from there.  Then, you can click on the little yellow thingy under my name of my posts (it only shows up if you are a member who is logged in.)  Or if I'm not available, try some of the other people who post alot. 

  I wonder - can you transfer files over AIM? 

Yes you can!

[Prophetic]

It's been wonderful (as sad as that is, since this is very personal for you) following your days. It's nice you're sharing it wish us. My aim is swallowmytruth if nobody else is online whenever you are. Of course, I usually have school.

[pocorina]

Day 13! To be honest I'm not sure why I'm writing this except I am bored, because not all that much happened today.

But my AIM nickname is "pocorina" (I'm sure original - huh?)

A new person arrived and brought loads of DVD's with them. Problem is, the one we all wanted to watch was an 18, and the staff would get pretty annoyed with 14-yr-olds watching it in the video room, so we waited till they were involved with lunch, and then stole the DVD player, and took it to their room and hooked it up to their telly. Then we all sat round and watched it. If nobody has seen it, I HAVE to reccomend it to you - the film's called "Saw" and is the most excellent psyco-drama EVER!

Except that I have a mental inability to experience fear during films. I can tell which films are supposed to be the scary ones, but I am incapable of finding them scary myself. (maybe sounds good but I sure miss a lot of fun).

The bad thing is this - they are making me drink this yucky syprupy drink three times a day to GAIN WEIGHT! And on top of that - weight-gain wafers! Two more symptoms of TB are unexplained weight loss and/or loss of appetite. Yup, I get them all. Lucky me. My BMI is like 15, or for those of you who don't know what BMI is, I am 5 foot 4 inches, and I weight 88lbs.

Well, there's really not much more to say. Vikram has been nice, we played 7 games of chess, but that is all.

Bye, and don't forget to watch Saw!

Remy

[pianonut]

the 'saw' ehh.  was it a chain saw massacre type thing?  or just a plain and simple hand saw (like the one jeffery dahmer probably used).  ok.  i'm one of those people that can't even stand those old hitchcock movies...but, i guess if it makes you get out of the 'zone' of sickness, then enjoy.

i thought of you several times today, and of course my prayers are with you.  especially for your weight gain!  can you drink milk, or is that basically the sweet syrupy stuff (milkshakes?)  they are a quick way to gain, but cause a lot of mucous, so i suppose it would be irritating.  maybe you can water them down, but still drink the full amount over a couple of hours.

seven games of chess, huh.  you must be able to concentrate pretty well under duress.  glad to hear that vikram has found a good friend in you...and that you understand each other so well.  you both sound like unusually caring for each other.

say, did you know (besides music) there is something called 'gardening therapy.'  this summer, if you try it, go for some herbs.  or flowers that are aromatic.  there's something very healing about aromatic things!  and you can dry herbs and flowers into arrangements and things.  don't know if you are into this or not, but if you are try planting some lavender.  scottish highlands should make it grow really well.  tell us more about scotland when you have time.

do you understand the docs and nurses or are they basically speaking a thick brogue of which you can only make out hand signals toward your skinny belly and then towards the milkshake?

[pocorina]

the 'saw' ehh.  was it a chain saw massacre type thing?  or just a plain and simple hand saw (like the one jeffery dahmer probably used).  ok.  i'm one of those people that can't even stand those old hitchcock movies...but, i guess if it makes you get out of the 'zone' of sickness, then enjoy.

do you understand the docs and nurses or are they basically speaking a thick brogue of which you can only make out hand signals toward your skinny belly and then towards the milkshake?

The doctors are not speaking a foreign language, you know! I understand what they say, I'm just annoyed about the weight-gain stuff. It's not milkshake (I'm lactose-intolerant) it's just thick full of calories! lol

And no, it was not a chain-saw massacre. The violence is subtle. In fact, a man was chained by his ankle, and in order to get away he had to saw his foot off. The chain was not electric, either!

More later

Remy

[janice]

That's great that you posted your AIM and MSN (though I'm confused by the MSN icon thingy, it takes me to a weird page).  But I had a thought--have you downloaded AIM and MSN to the computer there?  You can download AIM onto any computer, so when you leave the clinic, you will have to disable that, so we don't talk to strangers who are posing as you!!  But have you downloaded your buddy list to the computer there?  Otherwise nobody will be able to talk to you!

[pocorina]

That's great that you posted your AIM and MSN (though I'm confused by the MSN icon thingy, it takes me to a weird page).  But I had a thought--have you downloaded AIM and MSN to the computer there?  You can download AIM onto any computer, so when you leave the clinic, you will have to disable that, so we don't talk to strangers who are posing as you!!  But have you downloaded your buddy list to the computer there?  Otherwise nobody will be able to talk to you!

Don't worry, I have a buddy list, and i will remember to delete the program when i leave, if i ever do.

Forgive me for not writing much; i will do so tomorow. I feel so incredibly ill; my temperate has soared, and i have neuralgia all over my body. all my limbs ache, and at my feet is a bin with tissues soaked in blood.

lovely

Remy

[pianonut]

am praying for your temperature to go down and the neuralgia to go away.  sometimes all you can do is rest.  glad you are resting!  is your room warm enough? pain sometimes is eased by warmth.  maybe a warm shower/bath when you are able to get up (or some extra blankets).  i hope you'll be ok tonight.  tell the nurses you want some more blankets and wear your socks to bed (yes, just your socks).  not.  i mean like a warm sweatsuit and even tho your temp is high (when it goes down) you might get chilled in the middle of the night.  you can always throw covers off, but it's hard to add them.

am very worried about you!

 

[lostinidlewonder]

Why can't I believe this post?

[mikeyg]

Why can't I believe this post?

Do you mean the thread as a whole.  Becaude it does sound a bit odd.

[pianonut]

if you've ever had a fever or been really sick, you know the feeling of being extremely weak.  when you are this way, it is hard to get the energy to get up and feed yourself, grab a blanket, or do basically anything for yourself.  i have been there.  i have had a full year of pneumonia!  it is basically a wait and see thing.

if you haven't had it, you may have had the flu.  it is similar but different.  you may have a fever longer with tb, but it does come and go and you CAN get chilled from the previous sweating.  at those times it is easier to add a blanket.  you don't want to get worse and worse (like Chopin).

and yes, i am praying for her recovery and not for her to overheat and start steaming out th ears. 

[lostinidlewonder]

Do you mean the thread as a whole.  Becaude it does sound a bit odd.

The entire thing sounds fishy to me and melodramatic. And someone who is suffering and is not long for this world, why post on piano forum. I am sure there are heaps more important things to do with the time left. And the description of bloody tissues etc is just strange to hear from someone who is dying, those details would be kept to yourself and the meaning behind and life lesson learnt from the illness shared instead. That is what a terminally ill person normally does, not get caught up over the physical nature of their problem rather the enormous last lesson it offers us.

"As of tomorow, I will not be on this forum for a long time. I may never return; who knows?"
yet she/he still is posting. And they contracted it in Russia while visiting an uncle? And a rare untreatable strain as well! I mean come on.

[pianonut]

i've always been rather gullible.  and, on the chance Remy is truly fourteen, truly very sick, and truly alone (no parents around)...i have decided to play the fool.  if she posts the exact moment that she claims to die - i will still probably weep for her.  yes, that's life...melodramatic.  sometimes women deal with things more on that level in all cases.  it makes life more interesting.

now, if Remy is just posting out of Southern California, and making up a wild story.  Say, she is my age and has three children, i'd say 'buck up' lady and tell us what's really the problem.  do you like to make people worry?  will we be praying for nothing?
i don't want to disbelieve her because the symptoms sound true to tb.

some things in my life noone would believe so i don't bother telling, but if all of us told about incidents the way Remy does, we would make a fortune.  i just find the black negligee a little out of character for a fourteen year old, unless she's really mature.  but at 88 lbs. i'm wondering how much she fills it out?  well, no matter, i think she should skip the negligee at this point in her life anyway.  a sweatsuit and some socks is still my suggestion.

[mikeyg]

Yes. She "left" April 18 and came bacw THE NEXT DAY.  If it turns out that I have an illness that can kill me, I assure you , that even though I love you all , coning back to this forum wouldn't be priority number one for me.

Now, I can't say that she is just lying and trying to get attention, because god forbid she is telling the truth, but the story seems a bit extreem to be true.

[pianonut]

her parents must be either really missing her, or really stupid for not going with her if she's alone and very sick.  Remy, tell us it's a joke and fess up, or tell us it's really true.  is Vikram a figment of your imagination and tb an illness you wish you had, or is vikram as real as the tb you both have.

[pianonut]

say, and about the movie 'saw' where a guy is chained by the ankle and it didn't affect you to watch him saw off his foot.  that one, i pondered.

[janice]

Hey folks, let's be nice!  The way I figure, it is none of my business and it's not my place to decide if her story is "legitimate" or not.  And there is no such thing as "praying for no reason".  God knows my heart, and knows that my prayers for Remy were in good faith.  And God knows our hearts and intentions.  And even if her story were not true, I figure "so what?"  Remy posted here long before she contracted TB.  If she were some stranger who came waltzing into a piano forum and started graphically describing her awful illness and possible death, then that would be a little odd.  To those who wonder how she has the time when she should be concentrating on getting better, I say "Perhaps this IS therapeutic for her." To be honest, chatting and posting is sooooo very therapeutic for ME!  My life is stressful, and I love to turn on the music, and chat with people that I will probably never meet.  I don't care if I am old enough to be their mother, it keeps me sane!  She is able to have contact with "normal" people (normal being "not sick").  She was thrust into an environment that is so unlike what she is used to.  She probably NEEDS the interaction here.  Remy is lucky to have us, and our lives are richer, for having journeyed with her thru this ordeal.

[pianonut]

i agree with you Janice.  it's just when she said she had blond hair and was japanese, i just thought 'oh, that's kinda different.'  of course, with hair dye, many japanese can be blonde.  often, in life, it's the strangest stories that are true.  its makes my heart break if she truly is on death's door, and like you, i still pray for her.  if it is a joke, the joke is on her really.  you can't fool God anyway.

[pocorina]

That is what a terminally ill person normally does

Well, charming. First things first: I am not terminally ill, I have TB which they are treating. And if you all do some research yourself, you will see that a "drug-resistant" strain of TB does exist, particularly in countries like Russia, and even though named "drug-resistant", these strains are often treatable, it's just a slower process.

You all ask why I am still posting in this forum when I told you I am leaving? Well, let me all tell you what this is like. This is like quarantine. Our parents are not allowed to visit us whilst we are still at the contagious stage; they are only allowed to phone. I am stuck in the back of beyond with people I do not know, fighting a desease I do not "wish I had", with more time on my hands than I know what to do with.

So what do I do in my time? Piano is not an option! It's not like I can just catch a bus into town or visit old friends. You make it sound like I should be deliberately isolating myself, crying in my room, feeling sorry for myself. I'm not that weak. Why not just use the available computer to spend some time on a forum I actually had fun on? Talking to people that weren't suffering all around me?

And as for my blonde hair, don't forget that every single one of my relatives is English except for my mother, for goodness sake. I got my blonde hair from my father, and Japanese looks from my mother. Sure, it may be a bit darker nowadays, so it may have a few highlights, but the bottom line is, it's blonde from my father. Stranger things have happened anyway, look at that white couple who conceived a black baby (recessive gene).

Now I don't see any point justifying myself further to you: take it or leave it. I don't care anymore. I'll still be stuck here on my own whether you believe me or not. What's the point in my sitting here and claiming to have a desease and be stuck here if it wasn't true? I'm not so sick as to have such total disrespect for an illness which has killed many. How very easy for you all to sit there and make accusations. How many of you could hold it together?

And I will be out of here sooner or later. Be it eight weeks or twelve; I'm not going to die here like some. And for that I am grateful. It's likely to be more than Vikram has. I'm sure he'd be pleased if I was lying.

So good day

Remy

[mikeyg]

Umm, there is no need to over react.  I never said you were never telling a lie.  I just think it is such a rare story.

[janice]

Remy--I added you to my AIM.  But I haven't seen you on it at all!  But I see that you are on the forum right now.  If you turn it on, we can talk!

[pocorina]

Umm, there is no need to over react.  I never said you were never telling a lie.  I just think it is such a rare story.

plenty did

[pianonut]

i take your tb seriously, Remy, and continue to pray for you.  sometimes people just need a little proof that what you say is true.  when you explain things it makes it easier.  like how you explained your blondness.

now, i'm curious about a temp. of 38.  is that celcius?  i never did memorize all that stuff.  what does it equal in farenheit?  a high temp. i'm sure.

we are rooting for you AND vikram to get well asap.  there is no doubt of that.  keep posting what you are doing, ok, and don't get mad and leave.  unless a person has had tb, it's pretty hard to explain and have people understand what you mean about isolation.  glad that vikram is also there and helping you get through some rough times.

since you said early tb was possibly contagious, does that mean that there IS a possibilty of reinfection if you get too close?  i hope you remain cautious and optomistic.  and, that you don't overdo when you feel the slightest bit better.  please keep posting!

[pianonut]

ps please forgive us any unkind or untoward comments!  i was a skinny teenager and only after the first couple of children completely filled out negligees myself.  it beats the complications of breast augmentation, though, of which i recently reviewed on a medical 'google' whilst looking up 'neuralgia.'  i'd much rather start out with smaller fine ones that grow bigger naturally - than small ones, and then big ones, and then go small again.  the women who decide to forego second implants (after 10 years or so) look kinda saggy.  i don't know why i say this, other than, you seem a bit precocious and a lot of young women think that implants are cool.  if i knew at 14 what i did now (that estrogen hormones take over when you are pregnant making you three times your normal size), i would never have cared about comparative size - and worn whatever is comfy.

 

[pianonut]

pss  i understand better why your parents aren't there, too.  i hope they can see you as soon as the contagious stage is over.  you must be really missing them and though you are strong, even adults in your situation would be going 'stir crazy' with the isolation that you are enduring (and being with a lot of sick people).

if you have a mailing address, i'll send you some mail, too.  my grandmother was scottish (her last name was 'brown')  she was born in greenock, scotland.  her mother (a mackenzie) was born in pittenweem.  she used to say things that her mother said to her like:  'a blind man running for his life would never see it,' or 'it makes you want to jump up and never come down,' and 'there's been bigger losses at sea.'

she could knit anything.  she knitted my second daughter a white sweater that was 100% wool  it fit her so well, and was so warm!  also, she made my son a baby blanket that i have never found the likes of again.  it was flannel on one side (good for winter) and cotton on the other.  she embroidered on the cotton side, then put both sides together with a little batting.  it was his FAVORITE blanket for the longest time.  don't know why i talk so much...but that' it for now.

[pocorina]

ps please forgive us any unkind or untoward comments!  i was a skinny teenager and only after the first couple of children completely filled out negligees myself.  it beats the complications of breast augmentation, though, of which i recently reviewed on a medical 'google' whilst looking up 'neuralgia.'  i'd much rather start out with smaller fine ones that grow bigger naturally - than small ones, and then big ones, and then go small again.  the women who decide to forego second implants (after 10 years or so) look kinda saggy.  i don't know why i say this, other than, you seem a bit precocious and a lot of young women think that implants are cool.  if i knew at 14 what i did now (that estrogen hormones take over when you are pregnant making you three times your normal size), i would never have cared about comparative size - and worn whatever is comfy.

 

It's not the kind of neglegee that ones needs boobs to fill out. IT's just a lacey black nighty really.

i'm not quite sure how that converts to fahrenheit. All I know is that a normal temperature in centigrade is 36.6, and that once it gets to about 40 or 41 you are in serious danger. so 38 is not bad enough to worry, but just bad enough to be a nuisance.

Well, everything is pretty much the same as normal. My kidneys have cleared up, that turned out to be a temporary thing, but they have taken me off the morphine, which is a little annoying.

And as for being reinfected, that won't happen because I will have built up a natural immunity. the reason I caught TB in the first place is because I hadn't had the jab, but if you get TB, you will never need the jab because having had TB does pretty much the same job, if that makes any kind of sense.

Remy

[pianonut]

glad to hear you seem to be getting better.  i hope the neuralgia wears off and doesn't bother you anymore.  and, that your kidneys keep improving.  so glad to hear it!!

[Siberian Husky]

hey little sprout,

you need a husky in your life

get well soon

[tds]

hey little sprout,

you need a husky in your life

get well soon

there was a moment in my life where i would gave alot of things for a puppy husky. alas, i still dont own one to this day, as much as i woulda loved to. i assume you one one/a few?

[Siberian Husky]

check out the picture thread

[pocorina]

hey little sprout,

you need a husky in your life

get well soon

I do have a corn snake named Seth... at home obviously. I have a picture of him in the little collection i bought with me!!

...little sprout......tsk tsk

[pianonut]

corn snake?  now if you tell us you are from nebraska or something - this will be one wild story.  wait a minute.  where did you say you were from?  do they have corn snakes in england?

having lived near mojave desert, i almost overcame my fear of snakes.  mojave is known for those desert green snakes that can kill with one bite (or make you really sick).  one time i was doing laundry and was just transferring wash to dryer and looked down.  there was a king snake - which at the time i had to count the colors to make sure it wasn't a coral snake.  i was trying to remember that saying "red and yellow kill a fellow" (thankfully there was black inbetween) while looking at the colors because usually you don't feel it when a snake bites you.  it's just after the fact, you look at you leg or hand and see blood.

once, mowing the yard, i saw a very strange snake tail (sort of pinkinsh) rise out of a hole in the GRASS where i was mowing.  that scared me because i didn't know where his head might pop up. 

[pocorina]

corn snake?  now if you tell us you are from nebraska or something - this will be one wild story.  wait a minute.  where did you say you were from?  do they have corn snakes in england?

having lived near mojave desert, i almost overcame my fear of snakes.  mojave is known for those desert green snakes that can kill with one bite (or make you really sick).  one time i was doing laundry and was just transferring wash to dryer and looked down.  there was a king snake - which at the time i had to count the colors to make sure it wasn't a coral snake.  i was trying to remember that saying "red and yellow kill a fellow" (thankfully there was black inbetween) while looking at the colors because usually you don't feel it when a snake bites you.  it's just after the fact, you look at you leg or hand and see blood.

once, mowing the yard, i saw a very strange snake tail (sort of pinkinsh) rise out of a hole in the GRASS where i was mowing.  that scared me because i didn't know where his head might pop up. 

No, many people have corn snakes in England.

[pianonut]

ok.  i can't remember what corn snakes look like or their habits.  do you feed them mice on a once a week basis?  my cat has been catching a lot of mice, moles around here (pennsylvania).  snakes and cats are good rodent catchers.  it's just that if i had a pet snake, i'd sort of be scared it would get out of it's cage at night. 

[janice]

Remy, how was your day today?  I sure missed hearing about it!You need to check out the new chatroom here!!

[athykay]

I just read this whole thread, because I'm in major work avoidance mode, and CRIMINY people.  Do you really think this is for real?    Aside from the rampant  unlikelihoods and inconsistencies - a 14 yo wearing a tiny black negligee getting hit on in the middle of the night by a fellow patient,  white blonde hair on one page, and well,  maybe brownish with highlights on the next, suffering from high temps and bloody coughing spells but taking all day long, romantic walks . . . .  they don't put people away in sanitoriums anymore for TB.  That was done in the old days (decades ago) when there was no cure.   Do a little googling and see if you can find a single, operational TB sanitorium.   It is now  a very treatable disease, and unless someone is deathly ill, they take their treatment in their home, limit exposure to the outside duriung the contagious period, take precautions with family members and closely monitor them .  Anyone dealing with insurances knows that the tendency is to get people home sooner rather than later. 


I give it to you, Pocarina. You spin a very good yarn.  You should work a little on consistency, however, and try putting it to constructive use instead hoodwinking decent people.  How about Harlequin romance novels?.

[tds]

I just read this whole thread, because I'm in major work avoidance mode, and CRIMINY people.  Do you really think this is for real?    Aside from the rampant  unlikelihoods and inconsistencies - a 14 yo wearing a tiny black negligee getting hit on in the middle of the night by a fellow patient,  white blonde hair on one page, and well,  maybe brownish with highlights on the next, suffering from high temps and bloody coughing spells but taking all day long, romantic walks . . . .  they don't put people away in sanitoriums anymore for TB.  That was done in the old days (decades ago) when there was no cure.   Do a little googling and see if you can find a single, operational TB sanitorium.   It is now  a very treatable disease, and unless someone is deathly ill, they take their treatment in their home, limit exposure to the outside duriung the contagious period, take precautions with family members and closely monitor them .  Anyone dealing with insurances knows that the tendency is to get people home sooner rather than later. 


I give it to you, Pocarina. You spin a very good yarn.  You should work a little on consistency, however, and try putting it to constructive use instead hoodwinking decent people.  How about Harlequin romance novels?.

*listens attentively*

[pianonut]

a recovery center/hospital is much the same as a sanitorium.  especially if you think you might need a kidney or lung transplant.  tb is nothing easy to overcome, and, if the drugs are helping, Remy is getting some good treatment that she might not get elsewhere. 

was reading a magazine about drug research and tb is pretty high on the list of 'needed new drugs to research.'  we have vaccinations, that remy pointed out, but on the chance that you haven't been vaccinated - the idea of going for treatment when you get it is much like cancer and going to cancer treatment center where you might get better treatment.  i don't disbelieve her at all.

basically, the disease hasn't changed (or maybe mutated, but still deadly).  it's just with vaccinations people don't really know much about it anymore.  you do yourself and others a favor by being isolated a bit (so others are not infected).  of course, i am not a nurse, and do not claim to know all the up to date info on tb.  i had a bout with severe pneumonia at one point, and was really surprised how much energy it can take from you.  sometimes you feel like you don't even have energy to cough.  it depends sometimes on the time of the day, when you can get up and take a small walk.  i don't doubt the walks.  i don't think she said all day.  maybe it seemed to take all day (slowness) but it probably is just the fresh air and getting outside and not a marathon she is talking about.

ps.  you were in our congregational prayer today. we are asked to say names of people that we wish to pray for healing...so i said yours.

[janice]

  Do a little googling and see if you can find a single, operational TB sanitorium. 

I did this about a week or so ago.  Indeed, there IS a TB clinic in Scotland.

Maybe this is a truthful situation, but maybe not. Maybe she IS in that clinic in Scotland, but maybe not.  My point is--what concern is it to us if Remy is for real or not?  I have decided to believe Remy.  Why shouldn't I?  You should to.  Just don't analyze this to death, it's not a Bach Fugue! LOL  I will continue to pray for her, and correspond with her via the forum.  Remy, Piano Forum has a chatroom now!  It would be awesome to talk to you there!  I talked to you once via AIM, but I believe you had a bad connection.  Please try to instant message me again tomorrow, ok?  I go to an online prayer meeting every weeknite, and I have mentioned you there.  I never mention your name or where you are, because I am very much into confidentiality.  It doesn't matter though, because God knows your name!

I hope all is well, Remy.  We haven't heard from you in a couple of days and I'm a bit worried

[athykay]

Is the TB clinic a residential setting where people stay for weeks on end?  Can you share a link? 

Janice, I admire your motive in choosing to believe her and support her. If she is bamboozling everyone, however, you are doing her no favor, but merely enabling a very sick tendency (common in certain personality disorders) of using deception to garner attention.   I have seen too many internet hoaxes, and the resulting disillusionsment in human nature that they foster when well-meaning individuals discovered they've been hoodwinked.

[pianonut]

my husband gets free magazines, and though i usually am not interested in magazines such as forbes, i picked it up one day while sitting at lunch.  under pharmaceuticals, dec. 14, 2004 there was an article about a man in india who is researching tb drugs.  he works for lupin and is excited about a new molecule lupin is developing that, if successful, would treat tb in just two months instead of the current regimen of six.  "there's a 600 million annual market for anti-tb drugs worldwide."

"tb is the most prevalent disease in india and has grown in china, in russian prisons, and in developing countries.  tb attacks those with weakened immune systems, and victims usually first have difficulty breathing, then start vomiting blood as bacteria eat up their lungs.  three MILLION people die from tb a year. 

i don't think Remy is telling anything untrue, since her symptoms are that of tb.  of course, anyone can make up any disease and see what people say about cures.  i suppose it would be a way to garner information.  my husband works for merck, and all the people he works with are people who sincerely want drugs to be used for good purpose.  being that 14 year olds haven't a fully developed immune system sometimes, i believe her.

[ciao_xx_bella]

Of course Pocorina is lying. I almost know her personally. I reckon she was just cheesed off with you all for how mean you were to her in her politics thread or whatever it was and decided to guilt-trip you.

She's not Remy, her name is Francesca, she's 15 not 14 and she is half German, not half Japanese.

Sure she knows A LOT about TB - hell, she probably has it, but she sure ain't in any clinic in Scotland - she's never even been there! Face it - she is spinning you a yarn, and I can only say sorry on her behalf that you are all involving your congregations in this or whatever.

I am suprised she has been going this long, I would have felt far too guilty after post three! True, she is a slut and wears negligees all the time, her hair IS blonde, she IS the best pianist I know, and she does like chess and Su Doku. I suppose it is always best to weave a little of the truth into a lie. But that is exactly what this is. A lie.

I reality, it is true that she IS very often ill. Her immune system is weak, and she's always worrying she'll get TB because she was stupid enough to refuse her jab. Maybe she thinks not enough people pay attention to the constant blood tests and scans she has to have, the medicine she has to take, the coloured sticks she has to pee on, and all the doctors she has to go and see. Maybe it's not enough - so she had to invent TB on top of it all, just to add the cherry onto the icing.

But I'm just guessing here - why don't you come on and tell us the truth, FRANCESCA? I'm sure the people you have conned would want to know.

Now, I haven't seen Pocorina for at least three months in person, so I myself wasn't sure if she was at a clinic or not. She's VERY good with computers - can hack into anything, but this is where she slipped up. I traced where her posts were coming from, and it sure wasn't Scotland. She could very easily have rigged this, but I guess she was too cocky and relied on nobody checking.

Well, Francesca, you sure managed to manipulate them all - you handled the suspicion very well in your over-defensive post, but I would like to see you wriggle your way out of this one. Hadn't you better be off finding another forum to corrupt?

REGARDS

[athykay]

Pianonut, no question that TB still exists, particularly in third world countries.  Where she diverged from reality, however, was in the description of her treatment, i.e. in a residential treatment center that by her own account sounds much like the tuberculosis sanitoriums of last century.  I know of these well, as an aunt and uncle of mine spent several months in such a place in their early childhoods (back in the 1930s).  Again, this was before antibiotic types of treatments were available, and so all they could do was treat the symtoms and hope the disease would dissipate before killing the person.   This is no longer the case, and if caught early, the prognosis is extremely good, and this type of long term placement is no longer necessary.  I venture to guess, for economic reasons alone, that the type of treatment center she describes here is non-existent.

The other interesting point is that people like Chopin, who indeed, suffered from TB in centuries past,  probably would have spent a lot of time in such a place. Apparently she is obsessed with Chopin, so what better disease to give herself than one in which she can languish in the style of such a great Romantic.

[athykay]

Pianonut, here are excerpts from a website at Columbia University on treatment of TB.
-
-
-

Can TB Be Cured?
Yes. Today, with modern medicine, in almost all instances, tuberculosis can be cured.

Most people who have TB will begin treatment by taking at least four different types of pills. After several months, your doctor may give you fewer types of medicines.

These drugs can cure TB if taken every day for at least 6 months. People with HIV infection have to take their medicines for longer periods of time.

Sometimes, TB germs are "resistant". This means that the TB medicines that are most often used do not kill the TB germs. When this happens, combinations of other medicines are given. Resistant TB is harder to cure, and it takes more time to control, but most people with resistant TB can be treated. Your doctor will make sure to have tests done at the laboratory to check for drug resistance.

 . . . .

Drug resistant TB can develop when a person with TB stops taking medicine too soon. A person with untreated drug resistant TB of the lungs or throat can transmit these drug resistant germs.

Taking your medicine regularly will cure you
 . . . .

 . . . ..

Always cover your mouth when you cough.

Tell all the people who you spend a lot of time with to get a Mantoux PPD skin test. This test is especially important for young children and for people who have HIV infection because they can become sick from TB in a short time.
Can I live as I always did?
During the first several weeks when you begin treatment for TB, your contacts and activities may be restricted until the doctor tells you that you are not contagious.

Most TB patients live at home and continue their normal activities (emphasis added) When you are no longer spreading TB germs, you can be near anyone, including children. You can continue your regular activities as long as you continue taking your medicine. You DON'T need a separate room or separate dishes.

TB used to scare people away, before we had modern medicine. Today, as long as you're taking your taking your medicine as directed, no one needs to be afraid to be near you.

Fresh air, rest and healthy foods can help you, but they cannot cure you. Only medicine can cure TB.

All TB tests, medicine and check-ups are available free of charge at the N.Y.C. Department of Health clinics.

https://www.cpmc.columbia.edu/resources/tbcpp/tbcure.html

[puma]

   Ouch.  Ciao, are you sure this is the same person you're thinking of?  Part of me hopes you've just confused her identity with the person you're thinking about, because I still want to believe in Pocorina, Remy, or whatever her name might be.  But this post has certainly darkened matters and, in another sense, may have brought light to them.  You said you checked where her posts were coming from.  Do you mean you checked the IP address?  Even if the posts check out from NY, it doesn't necessarily mean she is lying - oftentimes, computers interconnect from one network to the other, so it is quite possible there is a connection from Scotland -> NY or wherever -> pianoforum (that's just an example I'm giving to illustrate a point).  Then the address might show up as NY.  I'm trying to give the benefit of the doubt here, because it just seems improbable that someone would continue to post, read, then post some more messages about tuberculosis unless he/she had it.  Even if Pocorina is lying, at the very least she is a hyprochondriac, it would seem from your posts.  At least this much evidence would be a consolance and would make more sense to the rest of the piano forum.  I believe we are all eagerly awaiting a reply from Remy and a more detailed response from you ciao, because a lot of members here have invested time, physically and emotionally, in this person.  We just want to be sure that we have the facts before going ahead with either accepting or rejecting this person, based on the facts.  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Puma