encouraging a student who played badly at recital

[abell88]

One of my early-intermediate students had a huge screw-up in one of her recital pieces this afternoon. She was playing fairly well until 3 bars before the end, then she totally blanked out (I guess); she looked at her music but it seemed to make no sense to her -- she kept putting her fingers down not quite randomly but definitely not right. I was sitting nearby so I whispered to her to go to the next bar; even when I told her the names of the notes she had a hard time just putting her fingers there...eventually she got going and played the last 3 bars fairly well. Her second piece went quite well, but I'm sure she felt awful...it was a very obvious mistake that everyone was aware of. She took off after the recital ended so I didn't get a chance to talk to her...what can I say to encourage her at her lesson (Wednesday)?

[Nana_Ama]

Just tell her how proud of her you are and get her a card maybe.  Tell her that it was only her first time she made a mistake and that it happens to everyone at some point.  You can't expect her to be perfect afterall.  Then, add what she did well, like her second piece you said was quite good.  Just reassure her that it's not the end of the world if she made a mistake and make sure she knows that you are proud of her.

I hope this helps.
Just out of curiousity, what were her pieces?

[lostinidlewonder]

The first time you peform your piece it is never perfect or how you have liked it despite the intensity of the error. I personally play any new concert program in smaller private concerts before I go public. This is, I reckon an important step to take to develop the peformance of your music and your own personal confidence with it which impacts on your nerves.

Practicing in front of strangers has to be done as many times as possible, the more you do it right in front of a handful, the more chance you have of doing it right in a room full of them. So long you pick out what could have been better (there is always something to pick out of in every peformance, nothing is perfect) and you target this, eventually nothing will stand in your way.

You need the initial experience that the pressure of a public peformance gives to develop your ability to peform the piece. This first step is always a risk, taking that leap of faith, jumping in the deep end, testing the integrity of what you have been studying. Everyone has failures in peformances it is what makes some people petrified to ever go back on stage. But you shouldn't stop after doing it once, do it again and again, there is nothing lost by doing it only something to gain. Do people remember your errors? Do they think about it the following day constantly? Do they make it their life purpose to remember that someone stuffed up on a piano? Not really, its not that important if you think about it.

[Kassaa]

Let her play the piece again, for you. So that she knows that she can play it well.

[marialice]

Tell her that she played well, and that the people in the audience who really knew something about music looked through her mistakes. It is not about playing mistake-free, but about sharing music with the audience, something she managed to do quite well.

Once I totally screw up in a performance as well (I had a memory lapse, and could not remember the ending, didn't have the sheet music with me either). What helped for me was that my teacher came to me and said she felt very sorry for me because she knew I could play the piece and would have liked it (for me) if I could have shown this. But she also told me that many musicians at least once screw up in a performance (for various reasons) so I didn't have to feel too ashamed.

[whynot]

I really like everyone's comments, especially Marialice.  I would super-minimize her glitch and focus on the overall quality and her poise in recovery.  "Nice save at the end, and you seemed so calm."  Even if she wasn't, I'd say it so she can start to imagine being calm at difficult moments.  Crazy things happen to professionals all the time, in every genre.

I talk to my students about my own performances, how they went and how I felt about it.  If I don't like how I played, I tell them, "I can play it better, I have some ideas for next time."  So they see it's a process, that even when we're well prepared, we might want to make changes or improvements, and that doesn't mean it wasn't good already.  I also share the occasional horror story, which they love!

An actor friend's story:  two people in this play were just coming back from a war and the friend was supposed to ask them, "Was anyone killed?" and in the heat of the moment, he asked them instead, "Were you killed?"  The audience absolutely came undone.  Unlike music, there is no recovery from that.  Or me, recently:  my piece was announced before I walked on, and the last thing I heard was, "... in A major."  I sat down at the piano and promply forgot my name, my piece, and everything I ever knew.  The keys were a blur, no sets of 2 and 3 black keys, just a mess.  I thought, "A major, A major, what does that MEAN?" and sat there for an ETERNITY.  I tell my students this and they're horrified, "Oh my gosh, what did you do?"  I tell them I eventually put my hands on the keys and just pressed down.  Somehow it was correct, and the piece went fine.  I also tell them how one of my page-turners once turned three pages-- THREE-- in a chamber piece that I didn't know well.  I mean, we just live through this stuff.           

She may not be all that upset if her family has a healthy outlook on such things, calling for cheerful more than comforting, "can you believe the things that happen sometimes," "that's the thrill of live performance."  And also, as has been suggested, have her play it again for you, maybe for her family.  Good luck!   

   

[gorbee natcase]

Worse things have happened at sea

[lagin]

  "Nice save at the end, and you seemed so calm."  Even if she wasn't, I'd say it so she can start to imagine being calm at difficult moments. 

Please don't tell her that if she wasn't!  I mean, don't tell her she was a wreck either, but personally it makes me nuts when people say I did a good job when I know I didn't, and it would make me even more nuts if my teacher said I was calm if my hands were shaking all over the place.  I would have a hard time valuing her advice if I knew she was trying to be "nice," and not telling me the truth.  "It happens to everyone."  "It doesn't matter."  "You were a trouper to finish it."  "The musicality is what matters, not perfection."  These things are true and encouraging.  But, "you weren't nervous," when I know I was is maddening.  My two cents, anyway.

   

[pianonut]

for those who have time to hold master classes, this is the time for your students to practice performance in front of a small group (as lostinidlewonder says).  performance has to be practiced like practice has to be practiced ( did i say that right?)

in highschool i once won a small piano talent show and at the honors recital messed up my piece.  i was highly upset by the incident, and really didn't understand what the problem was.  now, in hindsight, my prof. in college and now grad school hold weekly master classes where each of the students play something (preferably on stage) and even if it just one movement, gets you used to the feeling of performing vs. playing for yourself.

even now, i have to catch myself (because i like performing) and not try to show off.  that is the time you are most likely to make a mistake.  it helps if i take a breath in, concentrate enough to get at least the beginning sounds of the piece in my head, determine the tempo correctly, and 'block out' noises when i start to play.  basically you are learning to put yourself in a sort of meditative state where you are not caring so much about audience (what they think at the moment, noises they make, doors that open/shut) but soley on your music.  this is very difficult to learn, and hard to maintain unless you practice it.

ps something else i have learned is that minimal body movements, keeping your hands close to the keys, and not trying to present yourself (but present the music) is a better way to stay focused.

[abell88]

Thanks to all who have replied. I don't know how supportive her family would be in this situation; I know her mother thinks she is progressing too slowly -- I do find she takes a  very long time to learn her pieces.  I think we need to work on non-finger memory -- even though she was playing with the score, I think she was relying on her fingers. I do have her start at different places during her lessons; maybe I should emphasize that even more. 

[whynot]

Maybe I didn't express my idea perfectly by adding "even if she wasn't calm."  Obviously she wasn't completely calm, but also obviously, she did maintain a respectable level of poise, which I thought could be pointed out to her.  She didn't cry, as many children do in that situation, or run offstage without finishing, another popular solution.  She stayed in place, kept trying, and eventually finished the piece pretty well, and went on to play a second piece.  Another reason to make such a comment to a student, which perhaps I also failed to explain well, is to help her build a vision of herself as competent and calm in a crisis.  People live up to the expectations of those they respect, and if she thinks her beloved teacher sees her as calm and capable, she will become even more so.

[Torp]

Maybe I didn't express my idea perfectly by adding "even if she wasn't calm."  Obviously she wasn't completely calm, but also obviously, she did maintain a respectable level of poise, which I thought could be pointed out to her.  She didn't cry, as many children do in that situation, or run offstage without finishing, another popular solution.  She stayed in place, kept trying, and eventually finished the piece pretty well, and went on to play a second piece.  Another reason to make such a comment to a student, which perhaps I also failed to explain well, is to help her build a vision of herself as competent and calm in a crisis.  People live up to the expectations of those they respect, and if she thinks her beloved teacher sees her as calm and capable, she will become even more so.

This is all great advice.

One other thing I would like to add here.  Before we begin to make comments about the student and what we should or shouldn't say to her, we need to gain some sort of understanding about how the student feels about what happened.  One of the ways we can do this would be through a series of questions that could get to the root of the students own perceptions about what happened, why it happened, how she felt about it, and what she can take away from the experience.

A typical, yet unfortunate, thought process after an occurrence like that might be:

What happened?  I screwed up.
Why do you think you screwed up?  'cause I suck.
So, how did that make you feel?  Like an idiot.
What did you learn from this? Nothing, except I hate piano, piano recitals, and people who make me do them.

Obviously, we'd like to gain a different result, so we may want to use a more subtle approach:

T - So, what did you think?
S - 'bout what? (I'm assuming here that you're dealing with a noncommittal teen)
T - About the recital.
S - It was horrible.
T - What was horrible about it?
S - I totally forgot what I was playing and I looked like a total idiot.
T - What makes you think you looked like an idiot?
S - I just sat there.  I couldn't remember the notes or how to finish the piece.  Everyone was just staring at me.
T - Ah, I can see how you might feel that way.  However, you know what I saw?
S - What?
T - I saw someone come across a very difficult situation in life and deal with that situation with poise and grace.
S - What do you mean?
Etc., etc.

It is also possible that you could begin this conversation and find out the student already has a very healthy viewpoint about it all.  She may say something like, "Can you believe it?  I totally forgot what I was doing.  Man that was nervewracking.  All those people staring at me.  I thought I would just die.  But I figured, hey, I'll look a lot worse if I run out of here in tears so I figured I better just suck it up and finish.  Good thing I pulled off that second piece without a hitch.  By the way, I think I figured out what happened in that piece so I'd like to discuss that with you if that's OK."

Odds are most of us aren't that well adapted so we need a little help seeing the positive lessons that come out our negative experiences.  The trick is to get them to identify those lessons internally rather than to have us come in and simply tell them what they're supposed to feel.

No idea if any of that made any sense.  I was kind of in ramble mode there for a while.

Jef

[abell88]

Thanks, Torp and whynot, for your very helpful thoughts...giving me some hope that I will handle this well!

[Torp]

Thanks, Torp and whynot, for your very helpful thoughts...giving me some hope that I will handle this well!

You're welcome.  I'm sure you will do great.  You obviously care, the rest is just frosting on the cake.

Jef

[raffyplayspiano]

I think that PIanonut really said some important things that should be heavily emphasized.  you have to practice performing in front of other people, otherwise is practice.  I didnt realize that I had a problem with this until I was auditioning for grad school, and I knew my program but it would collapse in front of people sometimes--horibbly.  I realzied then that I had to deal with the nervousness and overcome it by reminding myself that I had learned the music and that I was dnoig the best i could under the given circumstances.  I also played in fornt of people anytime I had a chance.  

Secondly, I do think it is important, as pianonut said, to really focus on the music, and avoid playing the music faster than it should be, just to show off.  the temptation to do this is great, and the effects are ussually negative.  keeping hands close to the keys i also agree with, well that is what my teacher tells me.   I found this topic to be very insightful-im glad we can talk about such things, and really learn from each other.  Thank you all.
 
raffy

[Torp]

Raffy,

I couldn't agree more.  The more real you can make your practice the better the performance will be.  This is true of just about any discipline I can think of.

Jef

[Jacey1973]

Practicing in front of strangers has to be done as many times as possible, the more you do it right in front of a handful, the more chance you have of doing it right in a room full of them. So long you pick out what could have been better (there is always something to pick out of in every peformance, nothing is perfect) and you target this, eventually nothing will stand in your way.

You need the initial experience that the pressure of a public peformance gives to develop your ability to peform the piece. This first step is always a risk, taking that leap of faith, jumping in the deep end, testing the integrity of what you have been studying. Everyone has failures in peformances it is what makes some people petrified to ever go back on stage. But you shouldn't stop after doing it once, do it again and again, there is nothing lost by doing it only something to gain. Do people remember your errors? Do they think about it the following day constantly? Do they make it their life purpose to remember that someone stuffed up on a piano? Not really, its not that important if you think about it.

This idea of playing in front of a smaller group of people before your big recital is a really good idea. You just have to explain to the student that they can learn from this experience - it certainly wasn't a waste of time. But i can imagine how off putting this experience can be.

[Bob]

Encourage her to be in the next recital so she can "redeem" herself from this performance.  And then make sure that performance is super solid.

[abell88]

Thanks again for all the advice. It was really useful. I asked her today how she felt about the recital, and she said "disappointed," so I told her how proud I was that she hadn't given up and that she had played her second piece so well. We also talked about a lot of things from the forum: practising "performing" as well as "playing" -- this was a big one for her, as normally she doesn't even like her family to hear her (I didn't know this). Also I told her about various musical screw-ups from my life, and how she was probably braver than most of the people in the audience to get up in front of them, etc. I think it did encourage her. Her dad had a very good attitude, too, basically told her it was no big deal.

She played the piece really well at her lesson today, so we both know she can do it!

[Torp]

Thanks again for all the advice. It was really useful. I asked her today how she felt about the recital, and she said "disappointed," so I told her how proud I was that she hadn't given up and that she had played her second piece so well. We also talked about a lot of things from the forum: practising "performing" as well as "playing" -- this was a big one for her, as normally she doesn't even like her family to hear her (I didn't know this). Also I told her about various musical screw-ups from my life, and how she was probably braver than most of the people in the audience to get up in front of them, etc. I think it did encourage her. Her dad had a very good attitude, too, basically told her it was no big deal.

She played the piece really well at her lesson today, so we both know she can do it!

That is totally awesome!!  Sounds like it went very well and that rather than having some sort of "stigma" she now has useful information and insight from her experience that she cn apply to future situations.  Well done!

Jef

[Bob]

Yes, those things can scar a student if that's all they remember about piano in the future.

I wouldn't hide anything.  Talk about what happened, emphasize the positives, talk about what they can do at the next recital to improve.  Sounds like you did all that.