How do you build trusting relationships between students and teachers?

[m1469]

From the perspective of a teacher, what types of things are necessary and important (does "honesty" really matter?) ?

From the perspective of a student, what types of things do you feel are necessary and important?

Or perhaps "trust" is really of no consequence at all  :- ?


m1469

[ted]

Of course I can only speak from a pupil's point of view. The word "trust" has a very broad implication. I would have to have "confidence" in any teacher. I had complete confidence in my early teacher because he could actually do everything he talked about on the spot in front of me. Now many would question the necessity of a teacher being able to do this but I don't think I would have developed as I did without his constant physical example. He played difficult classical pieces for me, he played jazz for me and, above all, he improvised for me. Sometimes he played for most of the lesson time and I played for about five minutes.

So I had no reason at all to lack confidence in him; the end objectives were always there "up in lights", so to speak. This was the big difference I noticed on the very rare occasions I have had lessons since. The latter teachers, some very prominent, talked an awful lot but didn't seem able to "do" anything. I know many would say that "doing things" is not necessary in a teacher but I'm afraid for me it is, otherwise my "trust", or "confidence" evaporates.

[Torp]

The same way you build trusting relationships with anyone.  There are really two extremes to the idea of trusting someone.  You can either decide immediately to trust someone and maintain that belief until proven wrong.  Or, you can decide to trust no one until they have proven their trustworthiness.  Generally, this will lead to a series of 'tests' that a person must pass in order to be granted the trust.

Most people probably fall somewhere on a continuum between the extremes.  I personally fall more towards the side of immediately trusting people.  Sure, this has made me gullible in some cases and I have been taken advantage of, but for the most part I have found people to trust me in return.  I don't think one way or the other is better or worse, and I have certainly withheld my trust from people for various reasons over the years while I awaited some indication of their trustworthiness.

I have found that the quickest way to build trust is to be trustworthy myself.

Jef

[Bob]

I think the teacher should demonstrate confidence toward the student (and be able to back that up).  A teacher shouldn't be afriad to admit when they don't know something.

I don't think the teacher should be entirely honest with the student about playing abilities and fixing things.  If you tell a student it will take a month (or a year) to really get something, that may not motivate the student much.

On the service side of it, I don't think the teacher should be blunt when the student or family has insulted them.  The "customer is always right" idea.


The things a teacher asks of a student should be helping the student make progress.  Over time, the student should be aware of their progress.  This will help the student trust their teacher.

[pianonut]

maybe this is an overexaggeration, but anyone who takes the time to learn an instrument like piano has to be into detail.  so, imo, probably trustworthy.  say, if i had a choice of who to leave my purse beside (a pianist, a truckdriver)  i would definately leave it with the pianist.

professionalism enters the pic, too.  i don't think i've met anyone with a master's or phd that didn't get there without hard work.  if you have a work ethic, honesty must be most of the deal.

i was absolutely floored when my prof at wcu suggested all of his students get ready for end of the year piano exams by practicing on his own studio piano (at school).  i think you build trust by giving trust as a teacher (as he exemplified). 

[i_m_robot]

candy helps

[rhapsody in orange]

Well I am frank with my students. If certain aspects of their pieces need improvement, I'd tell them. However, I see the need to be encouraging as well. So if they've made progress of some sort then I'd compliment them.
With my teacher, I think communication is very important. My teacher isn't one who is stern and therefore there's room for communication. If I'm faced with problems I feel at ease enough with him to bring it up and discuss. Being too fierce/too much a disciplinarian doesn't help much in this I guess.

[Jacey1973]

As someone has already mentioned i think a teacher's ability (i.e playing ability) is very important as i've built up a great respect for my teacher. Sometimes just demonstrating something is quicker than trying to verbally explain it.

Also i know have to work so hard for my teacher to praise me, when i first started having lessons with him in Sept he didn't really praise my playing at all until after at least 5 months of lessons. But i much prefer his honesty, as it motivates me to work harder to get good results.

[whynot]

m1469, you do ask all the right stuff.  Ted and Torp always have fantastic answers, and I loved all the replies on this.  I would only add:  having a genuine respect for the student.  Not only as a person (of course, that), but also for his or her unique gifts.  My students are usually beginners these days but some are quite talented (please, I don't want to argue with anyone about what that means, it's just my opinion).  My point is, the gifts and potential are already clearly present, just not developed yet, and I respect the fact that some of these young people will be able to do some pretty exciting things when they're older.  I fear that I'm not saying this well.  What I mean is, I regard them as real musicians.  I assume an interest in art and beauty, which has almost always turned out to be true.  They trust me, I believe because they know I see something in them that others don't necessarily recognize yet.  I don't know if that makes sense. 

[Jacey1973]

m1469, you do ask all the right stuff.  Ted and Torp always have fantastic answers, and I loved all the replies on this.  I would only add:  having a genuine respect for the student.  Not only as a person (of course, that), but also for his or her unique gifts.  My students are usually beginners these days but some are quite talented (please, I don't want to argue with anyone about what that means, it's just my opinion).  My point is, the gifts and potential are already clearly present, just not developed yet, and I respect the fact that some of these young people will be able to do some pretty exciting things when they're older.  I fear that I'm not saying this well.  What I mean is, I regard them as real musicians.  I assume an interest in art and beauty, which has almost always turned out to be true.  They trust me, I believe because they know I see something in them that others don't necessarily recognize yet.  I don't know if that makes sense. 

Yeah i know what you mean, it is important to be able to appreciate future talent/ability, i'm sure your pupils appreciate that

[rc]

Hi.

Being fairly new to piano, I've only ever had my current teacher.

I've had lessons with him for about 4 months now and have never heard him play through a piece, but I have a lot of confidence in him as a teacher.

First and foremost I believe it's important to trust a teacher on a personal level... It's hard to describe, but I s'pose it basically boils down to being honest and respectful. Being disrespectful is intolerable, and once someone's under suspicion of being dishonest suddenly there's a voice in the back of my head questioning everything they say.

Confidence as a teacher. When he gave me advice, my first response was a sort of "of course... I knew that!" (guess I've still got a healthy ego)... But when I went home and tried it, suddenly it was "wow, he was spot on". Before long my teacher had proven to me that his advice is right 100% of the time. Now I know it's gold.

I have no concrete proof whether he's the best musician alive or if he can even play. I believe him when he says when he's been playing this or that, here or there, based on personal integrity... But he's proven to me beyond a doubt that he's very capable as a teacher.

I guess that trust in a person can only be proven, which of course requires that person being given the benefit of the doubt to begin with.