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Topic: An important message  (Read 1585 times)

Offline Nightscape

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An important message
on: June 30, 2005, 03:11:15 AM
TROUBLE WILL YOU MEET IF YOU COME TO THE BRIDGE![/glow]

Offline pianonut

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Re: An important message
Reply #1 on: June 30, 2005, 03:34:07 AM
if you come to the ? what?  i've been scrutinizing this for some time.  can you make the letters just a little bit bigger?
do you know why benches fall apart?  it is because they have lids with little tiny hinges so you can store music inside them.  hint:  buy a bench that does not hinge.  buy it for sturdiness.

Offline pianonut

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Re: An important message
Reply #2 on: June 30, 2005, 03:54:36 AM
ok.  i got it!  trouble will you meet if you come to the breetish museaum.  this is some kind of warning for those who watch movies like 'murder by death' and other mystery madnesses.

innocently walking into the glass encased listening booth in the british museaum (in the section medieval/renaissance music), the trouble begins as soon as the headset is put on.  for one thing, it doesn't work properly...causing distraction and not sensing imminent danger from above... bats suddenly swarm down hearing the high pitches of the troubadors and bite the listener from every angle.  then, falling out the door, the listener cannot feel his ears.  they have disappeared.  who would have thought this mystery would unfold in such a public place.
do you know why benches fall apart?  it is because they have lids with little tiny hinges so you can store music inside them.  hint:  buy a bench that does not hinge.  buy it for sturdiness.

Offline Nightscape

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Re: An important message
Reply #3 on: June 30, 2005, 05:43:47 AM
This is a story I just wrote.  Tell me what you think!


THE CAKE

She was just baking her cake..... and she suddenly realized what had been eluding her mind.  She remembered that she had purchased a set of silver pencils, and she knew what she had to do with them.  Opening her oven, she stabbed the unbaked cake mercilessly with the pencils... as if she were attempting to strike down a vampire.  The cake let out a screeching howl.... it was unearthly yet vaguely pleasant at the same time.   The scream shattered the dozens of glass bowls which had been carefully placed in the room.  Upset that the bowls had been broken, our heroine grabbed one of the clean pencils, and jammed it into her chest.  Once the pencil was lodged in her bosom, she twisted it around in varying degrees, producing the most agonizing pains.  She cried out and cursed her stupidity.  At that moment, a small elderly woman entered the room.  This elderly woman, was of course the mother.  Our heroine's eyes flashed with rage and malcontent.  There was no stopping her vicious nature... she was going to commit this atrocity whether we wanted it or not.  She pulled the pencil from her chest in one swift motion, and flailed foward, towards the old woman.  A look of shock and fear came upon the victim's face, and she tried to flee.   Alas, the years had not been kind to her agility, and she struggled in vain.  The cake-stabber took her instrument of torture and rammed it repeatedly into the skull of the poor hapless victim.  She stabbed and jabbed and cut and sawed..... blood, flesh, and grey matter flew in all directions.  She wasn't done yet though.  After disfiguring and decapitating to her heart's content, she proceeded to wield the battered pencil to the other parts of the body.  She hacked with a viciousness hardly ever equalled in history.  After some time had passed, she finally found what she was looking for.  Acting quickly she pulled her two delicate treasures from her victim - the proof of womanhood.  Now she could finally complete her cake.  She carefully placed her two egg-houses in the spots she had cut within the cake, and shut the oven door.  After the cake was finished, she brought it out of it's baking tin, and wrapped it in some foil.  The next day, she delivered the matricidal cake to her unsuspecting neighbors, who promptly devoured it, and enjoyed it greatly.

THE END

Offline Dazzer

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Re: An important message
Reply #4 on: June 30, 2005, 08:41:53 AM
mummy... i'm scared... i'm gonna get nightmares now.
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