Yahoo's and the piano art

[vladimirdounin]

Yahoo's and the piano art.

In 1969 I was sitting in the bus in the middle of huge and unfriendly desert. I was with my friends and we were going to perform concert for very remote garrison. Guys in this garrison swore (on the phone) that no one artist visited them before us yet. Our group was dressed in military uniform (infantry) because all of us were just a soldiers (all privates) drafted to the army in accordance with the law. It was a great day for us: we were allowed to get out from our barracks! We really enjoyed the trip but our heads were overfilled with the Dream No 1.

I can not, of course, uncover for you the greatest military secret and you will never know from me what in fact the Dream No 1 and Dream No 2 are. But if you have a good friend – psychologist he will explain for you easily that all the soldiers in the world have only 2 dreams during the whole military service. N1 visits soldiers’ heads persistently before Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner; and the Dream No 2 (O.K., “No 2” means “girls”, but do not give me away, please) follows immediately each of these greatest events of the day in army.

Driver – private was thinking about food as well and to distract us and himself  from permanent verbal exchange on this topic switched on portable TV (in spite of instruction not to do so, it was his and our luck that our Major was sleeping on his seat). Something absolutely amazing was on the screen: Neil Armstrong was descending from the Apollo’s board, the next moment his foot touched the Moon’s ground and (we know it now) he was going to say his famous phrase “The small step of human – the greatest step of humankind!”

However we did not hear that phrase. Our Major woke up and switched of TV saying: “You must not watch this abomination! It is dirty business!”

After many years I was in Astronautics Museum and understood there the reasons of this idiot action. The Russians were leaders in Space Racing. They did everything before the Americans. But at this time unprincipled Yankees hired their enemy No1 – former Hitler’s employee Werner von Braun. (Braun  was considered as an enemy in Hitler’s Germany as well, because his dream was Space Traveling instead of creation of Miracle-Weapon for Hitler’s army. Eventually he built for them powerful V-2 to avoid “deserved for long bullet in his own head” from Gestapo.)

And this nasty Mr. Braun launched his Apollo just a few weeks before the Russians were going to launch their own expedition to the Moon. After such a mean trick from competitors the Russians canceled this project forever (with only 2 crewmen it could not impress the world anymore).

The satisfied Americans calmed down and immediately fired Werner von Braun from NASA. On the other side many Russian majors and more high-ranked military did not receive their new shoulder-stripes. So, I can understand this major but can not justify him.


One of the best in the world Mozart player Nadezhda Golubovskaya voted against one lady-pianist at Piano competition. She told that Mozart should not be played with dirty pedal. Maybe she forgot the next day about this judgement but the lady-pianist did not.
She was hunting N.Golubovskaya at her concerts and each time when Golubovskaya played Mozart this lady was shouting from the audience: “Dirt! Dirt!Dirt!”
All the securities knew this “lady-dirt” (they called her) and dragged her away after her first scream.

Maybe many of you know Russian composer, pianist, organist and teacher Alexander Gedike (many my students chose to play his pieces from the Royal Conservatory’s syllabus). He was exceptionally good and bright person, many people were sure that he was a Saint because the birds on the street always flew to him and were sitting on his shoulders.

Probably, he mentioned something about the musicality of famous Studies’ performer, virtuoso - let us say, Mr. Catran. Mr. Catran in turn came to the hall where Gedike had to play his concert (one hour before the time of beginning). The securities did not stop him because he wore swallow-tail coat. Mr. Catran messed up all hidden places on the stage, including organ itself, with his own excrements and concert was stopped at the middle because of this.

It was not enough for Mr. Catran. He wanted everybody to know who revenged Gedike so effectively and he told to everybody “secretly” in “how clever way” he repaid Gedike for his opinion about him.

The result of this story was that nobody in the country could mention Mr. Catran’s name without referrals to this story. Some people say that he is really good in playing Studies, but I never heard him live and always switch of radio if his name is announced. I know that many people do the same by the same reason.

What can be done against the people of this kind? - I do not know. I have not a serious knowledge in Zoology or in Waste Management. The best that I can do is to put below a quote from immortal “Gulliver’s Travels” by Swift.

                                               Vladimir Dounin.

Dictionary: X Y Z
________________________________________
Yahoos   human-like or degraded human inhabitants found on the island of Houyhnhnm Land, featured in Part IV of the Travels. The Yahoos share the island with the Houyhnhnms, a race of rational horses, who have enslaved the Yahoos and use them as beasts of burden. The term Yahoo has come to refer to any kind of brute

“Several of this cursed Brood getting hold of the Branches behind, leaped up in the Tree, from whence they began to discharge their Excrements on my Head: However, I escaped pretty well, by sticking close to the Stem of the Tree, but was almost stifled with the Filth, which fell about me on every side…”

[Skeptopotamus]

i thought me and fred were the yahoos....... this doesnt even allude to us.

[vladimirdounin]

<quote author=Skeptopotamus link=topic=11406.msg119051#msg119051 date=1123224742]
i thought me and fred were the yahoos....... this doesnt even allude to us./>

ANSWER

Numerous studies showed that playing piano develops brain effectively and makes people smart.

You have proved this again. Congratulations!

Keep going, practice more!

V.D.   

[Skeptopotamus]

ahhhh you tricky bastard!  XD

so either fred and i are yahoos and i'm smart, or i'm dumb and me and fred are cool.



hmmmmmmm.............  what you DIDN'T count on was mine and fred's enjoyment in being yahoos!  Thanx for teh compliment honeybuns ^^