do you like me?

[stevie]

i think anyone who says they dont care what others think of them is lying, either lying outright, or kidding themselves.
its a basic human need, to feel liked.

oh my GAWD i can feel the love in this room already!

[leahcim]

i think anyone who says they dont care what others think of them is lying, either lying outright, or kidding themselves.
its a basic human need, to feel liked.

Depends on who is expressing the dislike and why.

[perfect_pitch]

Hold on a minute... that statement isn't completely true. There are people who hate the affection of other people and choose to be a recluse and stay away from people, in their mind... they believe that anyone they hold dear to them, may end up in some accident causing the recluse to believe that to not have Any heartache, it's better not to love at all.

Ignorance is bliss...

There is always the other side, where you have people that like to be their own person and don't care if people don't like them for who they are. They are happy with themselves and that's all that matters to them. The mind is a funny thing isn't it???

Think about it, and by the way - I hate you.








(Just kidding    )

[zheer]

Dont worry stevie we like you, just stop posting on this websight, thanks.

[gilad]

i want people to think they like me. nah just kidding.
you have to truely like yourself to be liked by others.
sort of, at least to a degree.

[pabst]

i want people to like me so i can turn on them when they least expect.

also, i voted for the last one, and im not entirely lying.

[gorbee natcase]

Gorbee thinks ya great 

[randmc]

stevie, i hate your guts....

[JCarey]

stevie, i hate your guts....

Well, I've never met his guts, but I think his sense of humor can be quite entertaining.

...most of the time.

[lisztisforkids]

Stevie is a very important part of this website. Not only as a member but also as an ambassador.

Truth be told. I am a extremely lonely person, but strangely, whenever I go out with people I just get more depressed and lonley because I am nothing like them at all. So the cycle continues 

[arensky]

I went with option #3. When I was younger I used to care a great deal what people thought about me and it was crippling. Being one of those "different" people who marches to their own drummer in all things and always will, I finally decided that it was more important to be true to myself and do my own thing than to try to curry favor with others, who cannot always be depended on. And when I finally really comitted to that mindset, the acceptance I had craved came naturally, without having to grovel for it. Strange paradox, like everything else in our existences, it seems; very yin and yang...

                                  

I am not antisocial by any means but I can and sometimes need to be completely alone, people can be energy vampires, sucking all the energy and concentration and focus I need to exist right out of me. But sometimes I really enjoy people and their company; no one loves a GOOD party more than I, and I am often the life of it. And then sometimes I want to be like Howard Hughes or Glenn Gould, completely alone. But they were rich, and could set it up that way.  Most of us cannot exist in a vacum. I often enjoy other people but I don't NEED them. Case in point; solitary confinement in a prison. I don't think it would bother me very much. All that time to think and figure stuff out without interruption! Of course I prefer to pick and choose my reclusive periods, when possible. Sometimes I have to grab that two days alone because it is there to be had, and will not occur again for months. I am very fortunate to be married to someone who is the same way, and understands this.

I think the key here is the word "need". I don't want to repel people, after all I am a performing artist, but in life as in music all you can do is do your best and offer it to others. Some will like you, others will not. NEEDING acceptance is a signal to others that you are INSECURE and WEAK. Being ANTISOCIAL is a sign to others that you don't like them, and they will avoid you. The people that like you, that's great. The people that don't, they can go their own way and good. The people you like and who like you, fabulous! The people you like and who don't like you, well that's how it is sometimes. The people you don't like, to hell with them, they can usually be avoided or dealt with diplomatically.

"To thine own self be true..."    

[arensky]

i think anyone who says they dont care what others think of them is lying, either lying outright, or kidding themselves.

Or is secure about their own self worth, and does not need the validation of other mofos to be able to believe in themselves and their worthinass.    sp(worthiness)

Had to leave that typo in!! 

[rc]

                                  

Good post! Couldn't have put it better.

Having to resort to diplomacy is often a pain, it's superficial and not entirely honest. But I guess sometimes there's no choice.

What bothers me is how a lot of my friendships are superficial. Hanging with these same people for years who I don't really know and don't really know me, we all gather to party and have a good time, nothing beyond that. That sort of association gets pretty pointless.

But I do need company of others. We're social creatures! If I spend too much time alone with the music, I start to warp and have to get out and hang with others to keep the delicate balance of sanity. Besides, what's the point of doing anything if not to share it?

[stevie]

Dont worry stevie we like you, just stop posting on this websight, thanks.

hahahahahahaha, mildly.

actually i came to realise the importance of 'being liked', when i thought deep down about why i aspire to be a great piano player, because i want people to like and admire me.
sure, having the skills is a joy in itself, but theres something more than that which inspires me to work hard.

and yes, i find misanthropes interesting, i think they have been outcast and are in a state of perpetual denial.

people like alkan hated society because he maybe thought they hated him, but i still think deep down he wished to know people liked him and his music.

[allthumbs]

Good response arensky. I can relate to what you say and agree you have to be true to yourself.


Cheers

allthumbs

PS - Stevie, I voted for the last choice, even though I'm a hetero-sexual male.
 

You are pretty funny!


EDIT   I just had a thought. Should we be encouraging him?

[BoliverAllmon]

ummmm.....NO

[tds]

does the "do you like me?" has anything to do with the "do me like you?", and the other way around?

[arensky]

Do I like Stevie?


randomly,   possibly,   hahaha,    mildly....       

[Jacey1973]

I say it doesn't hugely bother me if people don't like me, but as Stevie said i think i'd be pretty hurt all the same.

In fact if people did dislike me i'd be worried as to why they felt like that. I try to be kind to everyone and treat everyone with respect so i expect the same back!

[randmc]

Well, I've never met his guts, but I think his sense of humor can be quite entertaining.

...most of the time.

anyways....

[stevie]

ummmm.....NO

occasionally, but only to a small degree of ANCIENT HYPOETHETICAL THEOREM WHICH MAY EXPLAIN THE CAUSE FOR ALL THAT IS WRONG WITH venus

I say it doesn't hugely bother me if people don't like me, but as Stevie said i think i'd be pretty hurt all the same.

In fact if people did dislike me i'd be worried as to why they felt like that. I try to be kind to everyone and treat everyone with respect so i expect the same back!

i just wanna say jenni, i like u alot 

[etudes]

you should ask pocorina 
 

[stevie]

you should ask pocorina 
 

mildly.... 

[pianistimo]

do i need people to like me? no.  do i need them to love me?  no.  do i care.  mildly.  do i try to make people hate me?  no.  do i try to make people love me.  mildly.  but, as i've gotten older - i think it's better to be loved/liked for just plain who you are.  who you really are.  to express your real feelings and emotions - and not worry too much.  it's harder when you're a parent, though, because hurt feelings take a while to mend.  and sometimes your children THINK you hate them - when you really love them - and then you have to modify your behavior and try to see things from their perspective more.

[zheer]

Man, all i have to do is grow a beard and say the word BISMILA, and i will have the F***ing metroplolitan police pointing their gun at me. Do i give a F***, NO.
I remember someone saying that will be the Day when a muslim says ALAH WA AKBAR and the entire western world crap themselves.

[pianistimo]

besides arensky's post, this one is making me laugh too much again.  but, not out of misunderstanding.  whenever one has a minority view (or supposed minority) there are always 'police' around.  God is my police.  i know when i do right/wrong - so even in a worst case scenario - he can unchain me from bondage of any sort.

paul and silas were in a prison for speaking peaceful words (attributed to be combative because of Christ being preached as a KING).  if Christ was ressurrected and ascended to God - and there truly was a GREAT earthquake at his ressurrection- and even the guards and the soldier who pierced him BELIEVED - then we should have no fear for any harm.  God controls death.  whatever His will is (ALLAH the supreme being, i take, is the same God that ressurrected Christ - his son).  All people are equal in his sight and have an equal importance.  maybe percieved injustices will be straighten out in his kingdom.  the poor will be rich, the persecuted will be redeemed, and those that have favor now - a granting of favor to others - so that whoever is thought to be least is greatest.

[zheer]

besides arensky's post, this one is making me laugh too much again.  but, not out of misunderstanding.  whenever one has a minority view (or supposed minority) there are always 'police' around.  God is my police.  i know when i do right/wrong - so even in a worst case scenario - he can unchain me from bondage of any sort.

     Am glad you found it funy, one should have a sense of humer, and laugh at things like that. But its true.

[pianistimo]

was just reading psalm 82 (i think) today and it was saying to defend those who are weak from those who are strong and taking advantage.  probably the koran says the same thing.  we can each make a difference by how we personally treat people, even if others are not perceptive.  to God, that is what distinguishes us.