How do you cope practising in a house of annoyed people!!?

[jeno]

Hello, this is my first post!
I'm 15 (...I will be 16 come tomorrow ) and I have been playing piano since I was about 6 but I had to stop lessons when I was 12 due to circumstances I had no control over But I picked up lessons again last year and I am now very determined to catch up on those years of practise I missed!

There is something I must ask, this is particularly directed to the population of teen-pianists out there... when practising, do you find that it is hard to do so with your family around? I know that everytime I break out into practising my scales, the whole family becomes extremely irritated. And it isn't just the scales, If I play any piece particularly fast or loud, I can just feel the negative energy radiating from my dad (...he has a bit of a temper).

Does anyone else have this problem or has anyone overcome this problem? Did anyone have this problem when they were younger but is now an accomplished pianist?

I'm sorry if I sound like I'm whining, I do understand that it can be annoying for everyone else, but I feel that I am doing something wrong by simply practising. I have high ambitions for piano and I find that the irritation I cause my parents serves as quite a hindrance...

   

[zheer]

A number of people on this forum seem to have a similar problem. I think you need to think of 2 things, location and time. If you have neighbours you must consider a good location for your piano, and if you live with other people, avoid late night practic, and early morning practice.

[aragonaise]

a silent piano is your salvation

[quantum]

I'd say, keep on playing and don't let those annoyances get to you.  Keep a very serious attitude towards practcing and project that to your family.  If you do practice regularly maybe there is a hope they will get used to it.  Don't let anything they say or do turn you off from practicing. 

The suggestions for silent piano are probably good in this situation.  But make sure you practice in real piano mode often enough. 

[steinman]

As stated a silent piano is an option.

However, you dont need to go and buy a new piano.

You can have a silent system installed on your current
piano - admittedly at some cost - when I looked into
doing this I seem to remember it costing between 1
and 2 thousand pounds (GBP).

Also - you can have a practice muffler installed - either
by pedal or hand operated cable - a good tech should
be able to do this.

[026497]

My parents hate music, especially classical. I've tried many many, uncountable methods to cope with them, but, no help at all. I find the ultimate solution: ignore them. It sounds stupid but it DOES help. (lang lang lives in his own world while playing, right?)

[chopinisque]

Had the same problem.  They got used to it... I mean... they learnt tolerance. *sagenod*

[pianistimo]

i used to practice more at school because i could close the door on the practice room - whereas when i lived at home - the piano was in the livingroom.  note to parents who want children to be serious about piano *have a music room with a door you can shut!  anywy, between the telephone and noise - it was impossible for me to concentrate to the level i needed to at home unless everyone's gone and you disconnect the phone.  you don't have distractions at school - or at a friend's home (when they're gone).  i've had people who offerred to let me play on their pianos, but it's awkward because you don't want to put their piano out of tune or do something to it that makes them angry.  so practice pianos at school are probably the best bet.

[jeno]

Thanks for all your advice! It is good to know that I am not alone   

The silent piano suggestion was good but I already have a soft pedal on my piano. My dad still gets annoyed if I practise while using it because he is usually in the same room.
The problem is, our computer is in the same room as the piano and my dad spends a lot of time on the computer. We also have a very small house so it is very difficult to escape the sound of the piano.

But I like the idea of practising at school. I'm definately going to try and practice at school in the morning, lunchtimes and during study periods (I hope they allow me to!).

I go back to school next week so I will see how it goes!

[nicko124]

You could always purchase a digital piano and some headphones.

[instromp]

If they are having a problem with you practicing just take it upon yourself to move the piano into your room and they shouldnt have a problem with it, since it then  shouldnt be bothering them. But really they shouldnt be acting like that, they should be encouraging you to do better and to make all the noise you want,lol j/p .

[Waldszenen]

Play some relaxed swing jazz - no one complains when that's around, cause it makes the house feel like a restaurant.

(j/k)

[rc]

I've always had access to a digital piano through headphones, but I've had to live with a, we'll say 'difficult', stepfather who was like that all the time to just about everything... Storming around, shooting the negative vibes all over everyone.

I think it's irresponsible for people to act that way, especially a parent. That kind of passive agressive behavior is good for nothing.

School is good, a digital piano through headphones is great, I wouldn't recommend ignoring your family unless you have to (some people are uncompromising, in which case they bring it on themselves). Possibly you could talk to your parents and see if they would be willing to help you get a digital to practice on, in the best interests of everyone at home.

[cfortunato]

I they don't stop complaining, I switch from Beethoven to Mettalica.  Ultra-Fortissimo, ya know what I mean?

Then I encore with Bob Dylan, whose singing voice I imitate VERY well.

When I go back to the Beethoven, they suddenly aren't complaining anymore.

Actually, I fond it hard to practice around others because I'm self-conscious.  I don't sound very good when learning a piece, and I'm embarrassed.

[spitz]

I know how you feel. My 21 year old brother (who should really move out by now) hates when I play the piano. He yells and screams at me the second I get on the piano no matter I quiet I play its never quiet enough for him. He kicks me off the piano bench, literaly, sometimes. He punched my arm so hard once I couldn't play for awhile. But I found this method to work the best. Play as LOUD as possible till he he leaves the house then I don't have to worry about it.

[jamie_liszt]

What I do is, I leave most of the day so they have peace and quiet (maybe 9:00am until 3:00pm) 9am is when they wake up of course, then i come out from 3pm until 4:30pm, my mum watches tv for half an hour before slaving off to work so i give her peace, then i come back later at night from 5:30 - 7:30 then i eat and watch tv until 8:30, then i may give it another half an hour on my digital, sometimes on my acoustic. so i get about 4 hours practice, they get about 9 hour peace (maybe more) So they cannot complain, if they do i can say , how much time have i played, and how much time have i not played, i havnt played for 9 hours and played for 4 hours or 3 1/2 then they realize they cannot argue

[clef]

Well I don't really have that kind of problem.  I am 15 and I live in a really big house and my parents enjoy my music.  We have 2 pianos at our place, a main one in our rumpus room and a digital piano in my second bedroom or, loungeroom.  It is a Roland RD-300Sx digital stage piano and its great having it in my room.  I can connect it to my KC-60 keyboard amp or headphones and play privatly in my room, or I can connect it up to my computer and amp and compose using sibelius.  I suppose if your parents don't like you practicing they should be ashamed of them selfs!  they should be supporting you.  and maybe you need your teacher to talk to them or something, or practice alot at school.  At our school we have a huge music acadamy with hundreads of empty practice rooms.  It is very easy, if you are a student you can borrow the keys and practice in a sound proof room for hours. 

[meisel]

Well, i would certainly not ignore your parents. When coming home from work, listening to scales and bars over and over again can be VERY tiresome. It can even turn back on you. One should be considerate toward those you live with. Of course, theres a middle road here. As long as you dont overdo it, you`d be off fine.

I have a digital piano, which works for me. Digital pianos tend to have lighter tangents, but as long as you occationally play on real pianos, it doesnt matter. Perhaps your parents would be delighted to buy one for you 

If your school is open at night, that should do it. If you have a music academy nearby, you could play there. Some academies are even open 24 7. Every church have a piano, and churches are everywhere, so you could make an agreement with the priest there or something.

[donjuan]

You could always purchase a digital piano and some headphones.

I did that.  Great for when you need time to learn and they just won't let you.  However, isolation from a real piano has its disadvantages.

Had the same problem. They got used to it... I mean... they learnt tolerance. *sagenod*

That happened here too.  It just takes time. 

The problem is, our computer is in the same room as the piano and my dad spends a lot of time on the computer. We also have a very small house so it is very difficult to escape the sound of the piano.

.
That is very unfortunate.     I understand your problem so well... We have a TV in the same room as the piano.  I try to use the "You can watch TV in the other room, but I can only play piano here" reasoning technique but it doesn't always work. (since I got the digital )

[quantum]

With regards to TV in the piano room.  Do what I did - pick it up and move it to another room (the TV that is).

Before that, I remember I used to practice these really high and loud squeaky notes on my clarient, especially when someone would rudly intrupt my practice time by turning on the TV.  I played so loud, the sound was ugly and deafening.  It was great practice though, because now I use such sounds in my clarinet improvs.

[donjuan]

With regards to TV in the piano room.  Do what I did - pick it up and move it to another room (the TV that is).

I can't move the tv to the next room, because there is already a TV in the room over.  Besides, it's not my TV -I didn't buy it (I didn't buy my piano either), who am I to choose where stuff goes in the house?  My family gets pissed off sometimes by my practicing, but I really don't blame them.  If I had an annoying noise going on and on all day (with no soundproofing or doors to close) I would be pretty annoyed too.

Before that, I remember I used to practice these really high and loud squeaky notes on my clarient, especially when someone would rudly intrupt my practice time by turning on the TV.  I played so loud, the sound was ugly and deafening.  It was great practice though, because now I use such sounds in my clarinet improvs.

 
You mean they don't even ask if they can watch TV?  They just plop down on the sofa and click it on?? ouch...  Oh well, what can you do?  Their priorities are simply not the same as yours.

[gorbee natcase]

Do you not own guns in australia

[kamike]

What a great topic!  Man, I sure feel sorry for you.  Obviously there is not a "pill" you can take to make it better.  There are lots of us who can relate.

I kind of have that problem now - but it is not my parents, it's my wife and daughter.  They are actually fairly tolerant....sometimes.  But it's bad when family members attempt to put a guilt trip on you when you are in the zone somewhere expressing yourself musically...

I remember when I was 8 years old, my Mom would drive me nuts in the opposite extreme - she had me up at 6am every morning cramming theory down my throat and timing practice.  Needless to say, that was probably as bad as your problem - it totally killed any spontaneity and discouraged me to the point that I allowed it to ruin my practice, concentration, and eventually I quit and didn't start again until YEARS later.... never will know what might have been. 

My advice is use this adversity to your advantage - learn to play with distractions, learn to concentrate, and form your own musical opinions.  Be creative in implementing ways to keep your interest alive.  You will be better for it.  Good Luck!

[rc]

My advice is use this adversity to your advantage - learn to play with distractions, learn to concentrate, and form your own musical opinions.  Be creative in implementing ways to keep your interest alive.  You will be better for it.  Good Luck!

That's a great attitude!

I have to keep my real piano at my parents place, and I've kindly explained to my stepmother about distractions, try and play after the dishes are done, etc. So she avoids the dishes, instead does paperwork in the next room, walk around, open & close doors. I can't complain, I'm flattered she wants to do things nearby while I play, just use it as an opprotunity to learn how to deal with random distractions. I just don't think she gets it

[iratehamster]

I have an overreligious aunt who lives with us who doesn't consider anything except the simplified hymns in her hymnbook "music."  I play a few bars of ragtime, or classical music she isn't already intimately familiar with, and she yells "What is that?  Is that music?  That's not music!"  Then she tries to shove her hymnbook in front of me and starts demanding I play pieces from it.  She's also homeless and hasn't held a steady job in 20 years...

I became so disgusted I just stopped playing the piano entirely and stuck with my digital.  I'm so happy to be at college now where that isn't an issue anymore.

On a side note, does anyone notice musical lay people sometimes have really dumb ideas about what constitutes "proper" music or not?  It's only my aunt and some of my relatives who have a problem with ragtime, and get stuck on what's "proper" music to play on the piano and what's not.  My classically trained music professors all love it.  You might think that it'd be the more musically sophisticated people who get stuck making pretentious distinctions like that, but my experience has been the opposite.

[leahcim]

I have an overreligious aunt who lives with us who doesn't consider anything except the simplified hymns in her hymnbook "music."  I play a few bars of ragtime, or classical music she isn't already intimately familiar with, and she yells "What is that?  Is that music?  That's not music!"  Then she tries to shove her hymnbook in front of me and starts demanding I play pieces from it.  She's also homeless and hasn't held a steady job in 20 years...

If you ever go back, eat 16 cans of mushy peas and then play Confutatis Maledictus singing along at the top of your voice, and then, just as she arrives with the hymn book, spin around on the piano stool, roll your eyes into the back of your head and spray the contents of your stomach Exorcist style across the room in her general direction.

If questioned act bewildered "What, what happened? Last thing I remember was leaving Kansas....you were there papa...and you.." and so on

[jamie_liszt]

I hate practising at school because so many people either look in through the glass, knock on the door and you open it and they just say hello just to annoy you, or say your really good at piano, or request stuff, or they simply knock and run which its all annoying.
Or I get my friends come up and come in and simply stand there being idiots and they will like hit the keys when im trying to practise which is annoying, or people that simply keep kicking or knocking the door, or if a class comes in to use the music room and kick me out. Or maybe if its music class time and i try practising but i either get people requesting stuff or the teacher (which he usually does) says to get off, even though its MUSIC LESSON, but its to loud he says, even though someones in the next room playing drums and someones got the electric guitar on as loud as possible. Once he asked me to stop just so he could hear himself sing and play guitar which was way more ear piecing then the piano. He says to the students in the room, he is annoying isnt he, so please stop playing and they say, no hes not we like it, but he just wants me to stop, not very good encouragement........ Or i get psycho girls run in and jumping up and down and say, TEACH ME PIANO, TEACH ME PIANO!!! then they sit next to me (your probably thinking, right.. ok why does he hate that, there girls. lmao) its not that its just there so loud and they always come in and start playing some stupid chopsticks lol. Too much interuptions. And by the time i start to get going the BELL RINGS for class. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! and thats basically my hour or 2 in the music rooms in free periods .... or lunch!!!!!!!!!lol

[donjuan]

I hate practising at school because so many people either look in through the glass, knock on the door and you open it and they just say hello just to annoy you, or say your really good at piano, or request stuff, or they simply knock and run which its all annoying.
Or I get my friends come up and come in and simply stand there being idiots and they will like hit the keys when im trying to practise which is annoying, or people that simply keep kicking or knocking the door, or if a class comes in to use the music room and kick me out. Or maybe if its music class time and i try practising but i either get people requesting stuff or the teacher (which he usually does) says to get off, even though its MUSIC LESSON, but its to loud he says, even though someones in the next room playing drums and someones got the electric guitar on as loud as possible. Once he asked me to stop just so he could hear himself sing and play guitar which was way more ear piecing then the piano. He says to the students in the room, he is annoying isnt he, so please stop playing and they say, no hes not we like it, but he just wants me to stop, not very good encouragement........ Or i get psycho girls run in and jumping up and down and say, TEACH ME PIANO, TEACH ME PIANO!!! then they sit next to me (your probably thinking, right.. ok why does he hate that, there girls. lmao) its not that its just there so loud and they always come in and start playing some stupid chopsticks lol. Too much interuptions. And by the time i start to get going the BELL RINGS for class. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! and thats basically my hour or 2 in the music rooms in free periods .... or lunch!!!!!!!!!lol

wow.... I thought I was the only one who had people like that at school

[alwaystheangel]

PLAY LOUIDER!!!!
No seriously, I feel for you that your parents do not appreciate the efforts, pain, and blood that goes into playing the paino.  In my house we have a slightly different twist.  Everyone in my family plays, we have a Petrof baby grand and an upright but an open concept house so like you, you cannot escape it.  We have just learned to deal with all the noise.  If we have to make a phone call, we go to the basement.  I think the best thing that you can do is explain to your un undestanding father that piano is an aspect of your life you cannot live without and that you NEED this practice and suggest that he learns to like it.  Heck I hated country music but because I live in Alberta Canada, my job makes us play the country radio station, and sadly I now like country music.... *sigh*  I might also suggest to you that you set out a practice schedule saying "okay I'm going to practice from 4-6pm everyday.  I you can't stand the noise go somewhere else at that time because that is when I am going to be playing " or something to that effecct... Good luck on the father, I really feel for you.  Keep up the practising and Happy Belated Birthday!

[donjuan]

Heck I hated country music but because I live in Alberta Canada, my job makes us play the country radio station, and sadly I now like country music.... *sigh*  I might also suggest to you that you set out a practice schedule saying "okay I'm going to practice from 4-6pm everyday.  I you can't stand the noise go somewhere else at that time because that is when I am going to be playing " or something to that effecct... Good luck on the father, I really feel for you.  Keep up the practising and Happy Belated Birthday!

Hey, Im here in Alberta too!!    I dont think people will respect your wishes if you say anything in a haughty fashion.  Stubbornly insisting on practicing x number of hours a day at the exact same time may not work out.  Unfortunately, the piano is a musical instrument, and musical instruments can produce a lot of noise (especially to people who dont know as much about music).  I think it's best to compromise and practice when the house is most ready to tolerate your practicing.  This is especially important if you do not pay the bills or buy the food to keep the house you want to practice in running.

Btw, there's nothing wrong with a little country.... "It's alright.....It's alrighhhtt...Its alright to be a redneck..  it's alright to have a girlfriend named... thelma lue.."   what part of alberta?  If you are coming from Calgary, then the country music cowboy hat thing is big there.

[ilikepie]

don't you have middle fingers in australia

[alwaystheangel]

Hey, Im here in Alberta too!!    I dont think people will respect your wishes if you say anything in a haughty fashion.  Stubbornly insisting on practicing x number of hours a day at the exact same time may not work out.  Unfortunately, the piano is a musical instrument, and musical instruments can produce a lot of noise (especially to people who dont know as much about music).  I think it's best to compromise and practice when the house is most ready to tolerate your practicing.  This is especially important if you do not pay the bills or buy the food to keep the house you want to practice in running.

Btw, there's nothing wrong with a little country.... "It's alright.....It's alrighhhtt...Its alright to be a redneck..  it's alright to have a girlfriend named... thelma lue.."   what part of alberta?  If you are coming from Calgary, then the country music cowboy hat thing is big there.

I suppose you do have a point.  I'm sorry if it came out haughty although I did not mean it that way.
I'm from Edmonton.  Just outside... small town high school... *sigh* you can't get more country than looking out your window at school and seeing horses and cows grazing out there.  Guys wearing tight pants , cowboy boots and those massive buckles.... ahh... Alberta....

[donjuan]

*sigh* you can't get more country than looking out your window at school and seeing horses and cows grazing out there. Guys wearing tight pants , cowboy boots and those massive buckles.... ahh... Alberta....

ohhh so THAT's your house!

[nanabush]

My mom mostly is the one who says, can you stop playing that thing!  You've played it about twice in 20 minutes!!?!?!... How else can i learn it if I can only play one part of it every hour or so...  Kinda annoying, but I just kinda block her out... everyone else is fine with it.

[mick8431]

Hello, this is my first post!
I'm 15 (...I will be 16 come tomorrow ) and I have been playing piano since I was about 6 but I had to stop lessons when I was 12 due to circumstances I had no control over But I picked up lessons again last year and I am now very determined to catch up on those years of practise I missed!

There is something I must ask, this is particularly directed to the population of teen-pianists out there... when practising, do you find that it is hard to do so with your family around? I know that everytime I break out into practising my scales, the whole family becomes extremely irritated. And it isn't just the scales, If I play any piece particularly fast or loud, I can just feel the negative energy radiating from my dad (...he has a bit of a temper).
   

If you can afford it, buy a digital piano with headphone. It really helps... I ran into the same problem with you when I was young. As a result, I did not practice much for fear that people might get irritate and tried to play something nice which I was alreay fluent with. ... now I have digital piano and I can practice as much as I want.

[jeno]

It's been about a whole school term since I first started this thread, and after taking all of your wonderful suggestions on board, I have discovered that all I can do is ignore everyone else and just practice. The practicing-at-school-during-free-periods thing didn't work because my music teachers WON'T LET ME!!! argh~ I just wish I was like Rachmaninov who could get up at 6 every morning to practice... 

[alwaystheangel]

Glad that things worked out okay for you then. 

[chopinfan_22]

I sneak into the auditorium in town. The auditorium shares the building with many apartments, so the doors are never locked, and there's a room with a walk around it, but you're high up. Down below is a weightroom. I scale down to the weightroom, using a steel beam and the wall. In the back of the weight room is a dark staircase that leads you up to the stage of the auditorium, where a 9' Steinway concert grand sits. I practice there. No one disturbs me, and I disturb no one. Not to mention it's an awesome piano. 

But... for those of you less fortunate... might I suggest finding someplace else to practice? If you've got the money on you, you could find a  competent digital to practice on, and move it to your room, granted you have the space, and of course, the extra cash. If not... try the various churches that may be in your town. If you're a member, the pastor may give you a key to practice. Umm... try a local university. They've got to have pratice rooms for their students. Go to the music department, and search around for a pratice room with a piano in it. Most will have schedules posted outside the door of the practice room. Find a time in which no one has taken, and practice then.

That's all I can think of.

[invictus]

you are making me jealous, chopinfan_22

Easy, just start playing Suggestion Diabolique ffff at the loud sections, that should solve the problem.

Otherwise, other prokofiev or scriabin, alkan or rachmaninoff will do, just play it extra loud with more evilness

[archneko]

Get a keyboard that has the same strength as a regular piano with an earphone. Although, it is better to have a regular piano though

[gyzzzmo]

Isnt there another room where you can place the piano, somewhere further away from your scary dad? 
An expensive sollution is to sound-isolate that room. Though buying a silencer or a new digital piano isnt cheap either.

gyzzzmo

[lilypiano]

I had the same problems.  I have three brothers and they all got tired of hearing me practicing.  If you can practice at your school, do it.  It's  so much nicer to be able to lock yourself up and play whatever you want without worrying about anyone else. 

if I ever have kids, I'm going to make a soundproof practice room

[elisianna]

Do what I did and get a keyboard for you room.  You can still go play the piano every once in awhile (it is so refreshing when you do!!) but keep most of your practicing where you won't bother anybody... best part about that is you can play on the piano when you know the music well, rather then when you are hammering away at one specific part.

I had to practice at least two hours a day after one year of playing because my teacher moved me way ahead.  This drove my family absolutely NUTS!  So I went to the bank, got a small loan, and got a lovely little keyboard for my room.  Now I practice all day and nobody complains!

[clef]

With regards to TV in the piano room.  Do what I did - pick it up and move it to another room (the TV that is).

yeah sure that might work if the tv wasnt 5 foot long plasma tv stuck in the wall above the fire place...

[gyzzzmo]

Or kill all other people 

[supertonic]

Anyway I wish you can insist on playing because once I have given up playing the trumpet just because of my family member's intolerance, and I still regret till now!

[mass]

I use a digital and even the "silent" thumping annoys my family......It doesn't seem to matter that the TV annoys ME!!!!   I cherish the couple of hours I can practice in the practice rooms at the university where I work during the day........ If I had kids that were studying piano, even scales would be music to my ears!!