Thou Shalt Respect Children!

[pianolearner]

-'cursed be he who dishonors his father or his mother...'
-Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

I was constantly reminded of these when growing up. My parent's didn't really treat me or my brother and sister with respect--We were just "children" and should be seen not heard.


Why isn't one of the commandments "Thou shalt respect children, cursed are those who abuse or mistreat them"?

[pianistimo]

a lot of children grow up that way, but it's not biblical.  actually, what the bible says about is is something like 'fathers, do not exhasperate your children.'  have to look up the scripture.  we are told to be examples first (just as Christ was for us).  if we tell them, 'don't swear'  we can't go around swearing, etc.  but, they have to know even as adults we do make mistakes - and apologize to them, just as we expect them to apologize to us. 

II tim. 2: 20 is interesting because it brings out the various personalities in a household.  ' in a large household there are vessels not only of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for lofty and others for humble use.  if anyone cleanses himself of these things (avoiding profane and/or idle talk) he will be a vessel for lofty use, dedicated, beneficial to the master of the house, ready for every good work.  so turn from youthful desires and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace along with those who call ont he name of the Lord with purity of heart.' 

sometimes we don't worship together and know God the same way as other family members.  they might even criticize our trying to be perfect and then them knowing our imperfections.  even Christ wasn't respected in his hometown.  but, with Christ, we are always important and always forgiven.  'morning by morning, new mercies i see...'  so even if your parents aren't perfect, it isn't an excuse to be whatever you want to be in front of God.  if you know God is watching, then you judge yourself according to His standard.  we always do come up short, but He takes up the slack.  it makes one less inclined to give 'tit-for-tat.'

i found great healing and humbleness in having my own children.  the healing from hurts that wouldn't go away - because i focused on their needs and allowed them to speak more, but humbleness because you can also spoil your children and the result can similar yet on the other end of the scale.  maintaining children's respect,imo (and yours) is to give them respect AND boundaries.  if they lose their way - we're supposed to guide them and not necessarily beat them back onto the path.  sometimes they don't get back on the path for a long time.  but, as a mother, i find it very hard to just give up.  you never give up - and you always hope for the best.  i understand my parents so much more - because occasionally you just lose patience and say or do something you regret.  noone is perfect - so forgiving parents is a good place to start before/and while you raise your own so your children see a good example of respect of parents from you.

*at least one child in your family will be just like you as a child, too.  this is God's humor - slightly sarcastic as it may be.  but, it lets you know that if you grew out of it - they will too.

[ole]

I can't wait to have kids. My biggest ambition in life is to succeed with flying colors at raising a happy, emotionally stable and loving family. After that comes piano, and finally my career. Hahaha. Oh well.

[gorbee natcase]

I can't wait to have kids. My biggest ambition in life is to succeed with flying colors at raising a happy, emotionally stable and loving family. After that comes piano, and finally my career. Hahaha. Oh well.

Realy! I just wan't to mess mine up

[pianistimo]

dear ole,

what a great attitude!  take your time, though.  i'd get the career going.  children take an awful lot of energy, too, so make sure and get some rest.  i most admire my bro because even when he is really tired, he makes time for his kids and they do a lot of talking.  when i talk with my kids, i usually get talked out of something.  when he talks to them, he sticks with what he says.  at first i thought he was too hard on his boys.  boys are MUCH different than girls.  you can say to a girl, 'you're in trouble.'  and they'll start crying.  boys will act like they're hurt and then go do it 10 more times.  i'm telling you, get some rest!  even at 3 years old, i'd take my son shopping and he'd be missing in less than five seconds.  usually hiding under the clothes wheel - only to pop out when i became frantic.  but, of the three, he makes me laugh the most, too. 

[g_s_223]

can u spell "patriarchy"?

[rc]

can u spell "patriarchy"?

patriarchy.

[pianistimo]

i'm all for it, except that men are often busy with careers and women end up doing a larger share of teaching boys to be men.  (which is difficult if not impossible).  my son is 16 and towers over me.  he can choose to listen or not and is only in 10th grade.  most of the time he does, but i kinda wish we still had career paths where the boys would go off with the dad's to work.  just doing homework doesn't thrill him.  he needs physical stuff (not always computers).  i feel somewhat bewildered right now.  he's going through a half defiant/half depressed stage.  sometimes i feel like a bad mother, but i'm always asking if i can help with homework and he says no.  i feel like i need a third party to step in and get him on the right path again.  he's sort of wandering.